~ Empty Words ~

Empty Words
10.19.03

Empty words mean nothing to you
Just as they mean nothing to me

When they look at me all they see-
Is someone with a life that’s fairly good
What right do I have to complain?
I’m not losing anything for the pain that they gain

But they cannot see past the trivial
They can’t see through the walls I’ve slowly built
To keep everyone out
Pretending their questions don’t really exist

And sometimes I’d sit and whisper
Crying in the dark of the night
I asked you why you weren’t listening

I told you that you didn’t understand-
You didn’t understand the way my heart was breaking
The way it was all pulling me down
I didn’t understand why you wouldn’t make it stop
I knew you could- but you wouldn’t

Empty words mean nothing to you
Just as they mean nothing to me
And that’s all I was crying about
Asking for the ache to be taken away-
But holding on with everything within me
Holding on to what I knew I couldn’t keep-
Not if I wanted you to take it away
Just crying empty words
Yelling empty words at you
But still holding on to the pain

I am not one who cries easily
I pride myself on being stronger than that
But you break my resistance-
You’re stronger than the walls I’ve built

I put up warning signs
They said “don’t enter” and “stay away”
But you wouldn’t listen
You pulled them down and shook your head
I knew you were waiting for me to speak but-
I didn’t know how to say what needed to be said

And pain slowly freezes inside us
Until it turns to anger at the only person patient enough to not abandon us
Who never called us the names that we were-
Even when everyone else was calling us the names that we weren’t

And I said that if I was angry- it was all your fault
I yelled that into the dark
Why were you refusing to help?
I knew you could take it all away
All these feelings that I always felt-
Every single day

But empty words mean nothing to you
Just as they mean nothing to me
And that’s all I was crying about
Asking for the ache to be taken away-
But holding on with everything within me
Holding on to what I knew I couldn’t keep-
Not if I wanted you to take it away
Just crying empty words
Yelling empty words at you
But still holding on to this pain

And for every time I said that you don’t understand
For every time I said that you couldn’t relate
Please forgive me because I know-
You felt every bit of my pain
Every bit of my pain and then your own
And please help me because I’m not saying empty words anymore
I mean it and you know I do
And if you could get through everything without giving in like I did
Then I know that I can too
I can get through it- thanks to you

‘Cause empty words mean nothing to you
Just as they mean nothing to me
And that’s all I was crying about
Asking for the ache to be taken away-
But holding on with everything within me
Holding on to what I knew I couldn’t keep-
Not if I wanted you to take it away
Just crying empty words
Yelling empty words at you
But still holding on to my pain

But now I’d rather lose everything to gain
What you gave everything for me to take
And with that I know-
You have carried- you have harbored-
You have lived through my pain

<--- fall into my patterened tears... [return]
<---<--- catch me as i fall? [AA]