
Author: Courtney (banner also by Courtney)
Email: [email protected]
Rating: PG-13
Classification: Max/Liz
Distribution: Anywhere is fine as long as my headers stay put and
you email me first.
Disclaimer: I don't own Roswell or any of its characters. They
belong to Jason Katims, David Nutter, et al. Lyrics belong to The
Cure and Robert Smith. All used without permission but no one is
paying me so who cares?
Summary: Liz wants more from Max. Maria wants more from Michael.
Michael wants more from Isabel. And Isabel wants more out of
life. Will any of them ever be able to have what they really
want?
For a second of your life
Tell me that it's true
Waiting for a sign
It's all I want of you
Your heart hides a secret
A promise of what is
Something more than this . . .
Another second of my life
Not knowing if it's true
Make believe in nothing
Is all I want of you
Whisper me a secret
Whisper me there is
Always something other
Something more than this
-"More Than This" by The Cure
More Than This
Liz Parker re-adjusted herself on her narrow bed and looked back down at the book she held. It was her journal. She'd been keeping a journal for most of her life, but had stopped several years back when she was living in Roswell because she came to realize what a danger it was to have the goings on in her life down on paper for anyone to read. It was just too risky for it to even exist, so she'd destroyed her journal from the time she'd found out about Max, Isabel and Michael.
It wasn't until now, five years later at the age of
twenty-one, that Liz was finally starting to get past her fears
enough to do something as ordinary as write about her day to day
life for her own personal satisfaction. Writing in the journal
helped her to sort out her problems. She was glad she could
finally do it again.
She was no longer a resident of Roswell, New Mexico. That
definitely helped to assuage her fears. She'd moved from there
three years before to attend college at the University of
California. Though she'd been frightened to make such a huge
change at the time, things had ultimately worked out better than
Liz had hoped. Just a month after Liz enrolled in the marine
biology program at UC, Maria found a job in Los Angeles with a
hypnotist and decided to move to the West Coast as well. They'd
been roommates in a small off-campus apartment for the last five
years. This wasn't much of a surprise. Liz and Maria had been
best friends since they were in kindergarten. What was a
surprise, though, was the third person they shared this apartment
with.
Isabel Evans had moved in with them a little over four years
earlier. She'd come to Los Angeles not for school, but to pursue
a career in acting. She'd gotten a job that had prompted her move
to California and, since she and Maria had been strangely close
in high school and Isabel didn't know anyone else in the city,
Maria was the first person she'd called. They'd actually been
looking for a third roommate at the time.
The girl who had originally moved in with them had gotten
married and they'd been left with more bills than they could
handle on their own. Still, Isabel was the last person that Liz
ever expected to live with. She'd always sensed that Isabel
didn't really like her very much. She wasn't quite sure if it was
the attraction between herself and Isabel's brother, Max, or just
the fact that Liz was the reason they'd spent most of high school
dodging Sheriff Valenti. It was just a sense she got around
Isabel. Still, they'd managed to get past that and become, if not
friends, acquaintances.
As for Max, he'd ended up following Isabel to the West Coast.
And, of course, Michael wasn't far behind. Max was actually a
student at UC, as well. He was a physics major. He and Michael
lived together in a small apartment over a garage where they both
worked. Strange, Liz had never pictured Max as a mechanic.
Things between them were really no better now than they had been
in high school. Liz still felt an incredible attraction to Max
Evans and she could tell that he felt the same way. But, he still
insisted on keeping her at arm's length. As if one touch or a
single kiss would destroy everything they'd managed to keep safe.
She understood his fears, but felt that he was overly cautious
about the consequences of their actions. The danger that existed
for him and the others was real, but what he was or wasn't to Liz
Parker did not make the severity of that danger any less great.
The truth was, Liz felt like their avoidance was only making
matters worse. At least together they had each other.
Still, she'd respected Max's wishes for all of these years. She'd
stayed friends, just friends, as he felt was best. It was hard,
seeing him every day and not being able to touch him; talking to
him without really being able to tell him what she felt. The
charade was a hard one to keep up.
Liz looked back at her journal and began to write again.
"I've made a big decision. It's about Max, of course. I know
this sounds like something impossible for me to do and I have
debated on whether I could really go through with it, but I think
it's finally time that I got on with my life.
"In the years since I've known Max Evans, I haven't done
much of anything but pine for him. Even though there was no hope
of us having a real relationship because of the way he felt about
it, I still kept the faith that maybe someday Max would see
things my way. Maybe someday we'd be able to pursue what I'd
wanted for so long . . .
"But that is obviously not going to happen. Max has made
that clear to me a thousand times. I'm finally ready to admit
that I can't keep holding on. I have to let him go . . . for both
of our sakes.
"So, I have a date on Friday. Yes, I, Liz Parker, have an
actual date. I know, it's shocking. His name is Simon and he's in
my chemistry lab. He's really cute, really smart, and seems like
a pretty nice guy. Max would hate him . . . but this isn't about
Max. This is about me. For once, it's going to have to be about
me.
"I can't seem to get Max out of my head, which is not all
that surprising. That's why I've decided that I have to stop
hanging out with him. I mean, I know that sounds awful. He's my
friend and regardless of where our relationship leads, we should
still be able to be friends. But, I've spent five years telling
myself that I could just be friends with Max Evans and still lead
a normal life and so far where has that gotten me? Sharing an
apartment with my kooky best friend and his sister, who still
resents me for almost ruining her life. Not exactly the greatest
measure of success, is it?
"Well, that's all going to change. I'm really going to do
this. As much as it hurts, I have to go through with it. I have
to get Max out of my life . . . before I don't have a life at
all."
Michael Guerin pushed himself out from under the car he was
working on and looked up in annoyance. His best friend stood over
him, looking completely dazed. "Hello? Earth to Max?"
he called out to him.
"Huh?" Max finally looked down. "Sorry, did you
say something?"
"Yeah, I only asked you about fifteen times to hand me the
socket wrench," Michael said as he sat up and grabbed a
nearby rag to wipe some of the grease from his hands.
"Sorry, let me get it," Max said as he walked over to a
table filled with various tools.
"Forget it, Max. I'm taking a break," he said as he got
up from the floor and walked over to the sink that sat on one
side of the garage.
"I didn't mean to space on you," Max assured him.
"All you do lately is stare off into oblivion," Michael
said. "What's up with you, man? What's been going on that
has your brain so scrambled?"
"Nothing, it's nothing," he insisted.
"It's Liz," Michael said with a knowing nod.
"It . . . no. No, it's not. Why . . . why would you say
that?"
"When you say it's nothing, it's always about Liz,"
Michael assured him. Max started to shake his head again, but
Michael turned and gave him a look as he dried his hands.
"I've known you forever, Maximillian. I know you."
Max sighed as his friend walked away and into the office a few
feet away. He quickly washed his own hands, then turned to
follow. When he entered the garage office, Michael was sitting in
one of the chairs drinking a grape soda.
"You've got it all wrong," Max said as he sat on the
large wooden desk across from his friend.
"Do I now," Michael replied, his voice filled with
sarcasm that told Max he didn't believe a word of this.
"Liz . . . well, we're friends. I mean, you *know* that
there is nothing between me and her but, well, friendship. It's
always been that way," he said.
"Oh, really? So, when you look at Liz you feel the same way
as, say, when you look at me?" Michael smirked as he watched
the expression on his friend's face. "Nope, didn't think
so," he said in a satisfied tone.
"Michael . . ." Max warned.
"What? Come on, Max. You mean to tell me that you spend all
day with that blank look on your face thinking about how good of
*friends* you are with Liz Parker? Come on, get off it."
Michael stood up and crushed his empty soda can, tossing it into
the trash can. "You have it bad for her, Maxie. You always
have, for as long as I've known you. I understood why you didn't
pursue it when we were in Roswell. I even agreed with you. But
Valenti isn't on our asses every second of the day anymore."
Max looked at him quizzically and Michael continued. "Look,
I know I'm the king of paranoia, alright? And I still think we
have to be careful. But, whether you keep avoiding what you feel
for Liz or not, if you're in danger then so is she. You're not
the only one who is hung up on something they don't think they
can have."
He walked out, letting the door to the office close behind him.
Max watched, wondering if maybe his best friend was right after
all.
"Evans, Isabel?" the woman at the door said into the
room filled with hopeful, young actors.
"That's me," Isabel said as she stood up and walked
over, following the short, dark-haired woman into another room.
They walked down a corridor and into a larger room where two men
and another woman sat waiting.
"Evans, Isabel," the other woman said again and it
suddenly occurred to Isabel that those were the only words she'd
heard from her thus far. Turning around, the woman walked back
out of the room.
"So, Ms. Evans," one of the men said, "Dazzle
us."
She swallowed nervously, then took a deep breath and jumped into
her audition.
"How much are the tarot cards?" a young girl asked.
Maria looked up from the book she was reading to the face
standing before her. The girl looked about thirteen if that.
"Tarot cards are very powerful and shouldn't be put into the
wrong hands," she said.
"How much?" the girl persisted impatiently.
"Do you even know how to use them?" Maria asked.
"Look lady, are they for sale or not?"
Maria rolled her eyes and replied, "Ten fifty."
"I'll take them." The girl set down the cards and
handed Maria a twenty-dollar bill. She took her change and left
the store with her purchase. Maria shook her head in exasperation
and went back to her book. She was sick of this job. She knew
that it was her own fault. What kind of "mystical
therapy" store did she expect to find on Melrose anyway? The
description alone should have turned her away. Mystical therapy .
. . please. But, her job with the hypnotist wasn't paying enough
and she needed some way to make ends meet. It was this or the
burger joint down the street so she knew that she should still
consider herself lucky.
Maria had already begun reading again when she heard the chimes
that sounded when the front door to the shop opened. She didn't
bother looking up, just figured it was yet another silly kid
coming to buy party favors for a slumber party, and kept reading
her book on past lives regression.
"Excuse me, miss? Could you point me in the direction of the
crystal balls?" she heard someone ask. Recognizing the
voice, she looked up and smiled.
"Hi, Michael," she greeted him.
"Hey, what's going on, Maria?"
She set the book down and sighed. "Very little. I hate this
job."
"Yeah, tell me about it. You think I enjoy being a grease
monkey?" he laughed.
"Actually, I thought it kind of suited you," she
teased.
"Gee thanks," he replied sarcastically.
"So, to what do I owe this visit?" she asked.
"I was actually hoping you'd seen Izzy around," he
said.
"Um, not today. She was gone when I left this morning. Why,
what's up?"
"Nothing, I was just going to see if she wanted to catch a
movie tonight or something. I haven't seen her in a while,"
he said.
Maria nodded but didn't reply. Michael was always asking her
about Isabel. On the one hand, it was a good way to strike up a
conversation between herself and the brooding young man she'd had
a crush on forever, but it was also hard to see the look on his
face when the subject of Isabel came up. It was easy to see that
Michael thought of Maria as a pal, but of Isabel as a whole lot
more.
"So, you don't know where she is then, huh?" he asked.
"Nope, sorry," she replied.
"Well, what are you doing tonight?"
"Me? Um, nothing I guess," she responded.
"You up for a movie? I need to get away from the smell of
motor oil for a while."
"Sure, that sounds good," she said with a slight grin.
"Great, I'll meet you at your place at about 7 o'clock then,
okay?"
She nodded. "Yeah, okay," she said, then watched as he
waved and left the shop. She picked up her book again, but could
do nothing more than smile at the page. Maybe there was hope for
her yet.
The sound of the doorbell broke Liz from her genetics
homework. She got up off the couch and went to the door. Opening
it, she was surprised to see who was on the other side.
"Simon, hi," she smiled.
"Hi, Liz. Um . . . can I come in?" asked the tall,
blonde in her doorway.
"Sure, of course. Come on in," she smiled as she moved
aside. They went into the living room and sat on opposite ends of
the sofa. "So, Simon, what brings you by?" she asked
casually.
"I came by to see you actually," he said. "I just
wanted to see if you were busy tonight."
"Tonight? Well, I thought we were going out on Friday?"
"Yeah, I'd still like to do that. I just . . . well, I was
wondering if you'd like to have dinner tonight. My treat, of
course," he said.
She looked at him, silently sizing up the man before her. He was
nothing like Max Evans at all. His hair and skin were fair
instead of the intense, dark shades that hovered around Max. He
seemed so easygoing and fun, not brooding and serious all the
time. His eyes weren't constantly filled with a thousand emotions
that she felt the need to dissect and categorize. He was just a
nice, simple guy. And, most importantly, he was a nice, simple
guy who wanted to date her. He wasn't afraid of anything because
there was nothing to be afraid of with Simon. He was normal, just
like she once was. She longed so much to just feel normal again.
With a smile that she wanted very much to be sincere, Liz
replied, "I'd love to have dinner with you, Simon." If
she was going to move on, she might as well start out right.
Max heard the door close as his roommate walked into the
apartment. He looked up from his computer and nodded to Michael.
"Where've you been?" he asked casually as he read over
the sentence he'd just typed, then turned up his nose and deleted
it.
"Uh, just out. I was looking for Izzy but I couldn't find
her," he said as he took a carton of orange juice from the
refrigerator and drank from it.
"She had an audition today," Max informed him.
"For what?"
"I dunno, some commercial. I think she said it was at 2
o'clock so she should be home pretty soon."
"Oh yeah? Okay, well maybe I'll go see how it went later
then." He walked over and peered over Max' shoulder at the
computer screen. "What are you working on?"
"A term paper about Newtonian mechanics and linear
oscillations," he replied.
"Man, whatever you just said," Michael replied.
"When is it due?"
"Monday, why?"
"I was going to ask you if you wanted to catch a movie with
me tonight," Michael explained.
"I'd like to, but I really need to get this done. What movie
are you going to see anyway?"
"I'm not sure, I guess I'll see what Maria wants to
see."
"Maria's going?" Max asked as he looked up from the
computer to his friend.
"Yeah, I went by the shop looking for Iz and got to talking
to Maria. I mentioned the movies so I thought I should ask her if
she wanted to go."
"But you didn't plan on asking her before that?" Max
asked.
"Well, not planned, no."
"Michael, do you like Maria?" he asked.
"Do I like her? Sure, I like her. I've known her for a long
time. We get along pretty good. Why do you ask?"
"Nothing," Max shook his head. "It's just . . . do
you think Maria likes you?"
Michael shrugged. "How should I know? I guess she does. She
always seems okay with hanging out and stuff."
Max sighed to himself. His best friend was truly oblivious. Maria
DeLuca had been head over heels for Michael since the eleventh
grade, but Michael still had no clue. Max wondered if he'd ever
manage to open his eyes to what was so blatantly obvious to the
rest of the world.
"Well, I hope you guys have fun," Max said.
"Yeah, thanks. Look, I'm meeting Maria over at the girls'
place at seven. If you change your mind just be ready by about a
quarter till."
Max nodded, but replied, "Thanks, I just don't see myself
getting this paper finished by then though."
"Okay, suit yourself. But you know, I bet Liz is home
tonight. Maybe Maria can talk her into joining us." He
smirked; he always knew how to push Max's buttons.
"I'll think about it," Max replied as he kept typing.
Michael nodded, now sure that Max would be joining them tonight
after all.
It was late afternoon by the time Liz finished her homework.
Simon had stayed for a while and they'd talked. He really was a
very nice guy. She didn't feel that *thing* with him that she
felt with Max, of course, but she knew she needed to give it
time.
By the time she'd put away her books, she heard the front door
open and peeked out of her bedroom to see Maria bounding happily
into the apartment.
"Hey there, good day?" Liz asked.
"It was okay," Maria replied, but couldn't suppress her
infectious grin.
"Seems that way. Want to tell me why you're so happy?"
"No reason," Maria replied as she walked past Liz to
set her things in her own room. Liz followed.
"Well, if you won't tell me about your good day, then I will
tell you about mine. I have a date tonight," she announced.
Maria's eyes grew wide as she turned to her best friend again.
"Liz, that's great! When will Max be here?" she asked
excitedly.
"It's not with Max," Liz corrected her curtly.
"Oh, sorry," Maria said, her eyes now downcast.
"Don't you want to know who?" Liz prodded.
"Oh, sure."
"Simon, the guy I told you about from chemistry. He's taking
me to dinner tonight. And, we're going out again on Friday."
"That sounds like fun," Maria replied, but from her
tone Liz could tell that her friend didn't really think so.
"There are other guys in the universe besides Max
Evans," Liz said to her.
"I know that. What did I say? Did I say anything? I think
it's great you're going out with Simon. I hope you two have a
nice time tonight."
Liz rolled her eyes. Maria was impossible. If any person in the
world wanted Liz with Max more than Liz herself, it was Maria.
She'd been trying to convince the two of them that they were
cosmically linked or something for years now.
"Oh, Liz, I have to tell you what I read today about past
life regression," Maria said. "I think I figured out
what we need to do to get it to work this time. Will you be my
guinea pig this weekend, please?"
"Sure," Liz said as she walked over to Maria's dresser.
Her friend had flopped down on the bed with her book and was
thumbing through it, looking for the new morsel of information
that she'd discovered. Liz studied the pictures on the dresser
and saw a new one had been added to the mix. "Where'd you
get this one?" she asked as she picked up the small, gold
frame and held it up for Maria to see.
"It was from the party of the fourth of July," she
replied. The picture was of Max and Michael. They were both
smiling at the camera, a sight that still seemed odd. The two of
them did seem more at ease here in California, but they still
weren't the smiling type.
Liz set the picture back down and turned to Maria again.
"So, what are you doing tonight?"
"Going to the movies," she said absently.
"With who?" Liz asked.
Maria looked up momentarily and replied in an offhanded way,
"Just Michael."
"*Just* Michael? Maria, are you serious?" she asked.
"Yeah, he came by today while I was working and we got to
talking. He just mentioned he was going to the movies and asked
if I'd like to come. I said yes."
Liz smiled. "No wonder you're so happy."
"What?" Maria looked up. "It's only a movie."
"Only a movie, sure," Liz nodded with a smirk.
"It is," she insisted. "Look, if you can go on a
date with some other guy tonight and totally ignore the whole Max
thing, then I can go and see a movie with Michael without it
being a federal case."
"Okay, alright," Liz said as she held up her hands in
surrender. She started to inform Maria that there was no
"Max thing" to speak of, but decided instead to leave
well enough alone. "So, tell me about this breakthrough in
hypnosis," she said as she walked over to the bed and looked
down at the book.
Just then, the front door slammed shut. "Izzy's home,"
Maria said as she put aside her book and got up from the bed. She
and Liz walked into the living room to find Isabel slumped down
onto the sofa, her face in her hands.
"I don't guess we need to ask how it went," Maria said
sympathetically as she sat down beside her friend.
"It was awful!" Isabel wailed. "I totally blew
it!"
"I'm sure it wasn't so bad," Liz offered.
"There is no way I got the part," she lamented.
"Well, next time," Maria said as she rubbed Isabel's
shoulder.
"There may not even be a next time," she said.
"I'm thinking about giving up all together. What good is all
this stuff anyway?"
"Oh, you're a great actress," Maria assured her.
"You just need to find the right part."
Liz sat in a chair nearby and watched as Maria helped Isabel pull
herself together. She wondered to herself when those two had
gotten so close and when she herself had been relegated to the
edge of this friendship. She knew it was her own fault. She'd
spent so much time concentrating on school and Max that there
wasn't a free minute left in the day for anything else it seemed.
Well, she thought with a rush of determination, that will all
change soon enough.
Maria was putting the finishing touches on her makeup when she
heard the doorbell. Figuring it was probably Michael, she quickly
examined her reflection one last time, then hurried out to get
the door. She opened it to reveal the face of a stranger.
"Oh, hi," she said to the blonde-haired, blue-eyed man
before her. "You must be Simon."
"Yes, is Liz here?" he asked.
"Yeah, I think she's almost ready," Maria told him.
"Come on in." She moved aside and motioned to the couch
where Simon had a seat. "I'll see what's keeping her,"
she told him and went quickly to Liz's door to knock.
"Come in," her friend's voice answered.
"Simon's here," she said as she peeked her head in.
"Okay, thanks," Liz replied. "Tell him I'll be out
in five minutes."
Maria returned to the living room and relayed the message, then
the doorbell sounded again. "Excuse me," she said to
Simon before she turned back to the door. She opened it to see
Michael and Max on the porch. "Max! Hi. Um . . . I didn't
know you were coming," she smiled as she showed them in.
"Yeah, I hope that's okay," he said.
"Sure, of course," she said. "Um, Max, Michael,
this is Simon. He's a, uh, a friend of Liz's from school. Um,
would you all excuse me a moment?" They all nodded as the
other two men took seats in the living room with Simon and Maria
dashed back to Liz's room.
"Maria, what's going on?" Liz asked when her best
friend came into her room and shut the door quickly behind her.
"We have a situation," Maria replied.
"What sort of situation?"
"Well, Max is here," she said.
Liz's breath caught for a moment, then she forced herself to act
naturally. "So?"
"So?! So, Liz, he's out there right now with *Simon*! He's .
. . well, he's going to know that you're going with him, that you
have a date."
"And? Maria, I don't really see this as a problem," she
lied. Of course, she *did* see this as a problem. She'd known
that telling Max she was dating would have to be done eventually,
but she hadn't been ready just yet. Even though they had not been
together in all these years, neither had they been with anyone
else. They'd just spent five years dancing around each other and
waiting for someone to finally put an end to this stupid charade.
Well, Liz was finally doing just that.
"Max doesn't think of me as anything but a friend," she
said.
"You can't really believe that," Maria said.
"He's made it clear enough that that is all he wants from
me, Maria," she replied.
"He loves you, you know he does. This is going to hurt
him."
"Well, I'm sorry if he's hurt, but this is the only way
either one of us can ever be happy," she said.
Maria looked at her friend and sighed. There was no changing her
mind on this. She felt badly for Max and Liz. They belonged
together, anyone could see that. But, they were both too damned
stubborn to let that happen. He was too afraid of putting her in
danger and she was constantly trying to work around the
boundaries he had set. They were both just too impossible for
words.
With a sigh, Maria turned and left, wondering what would happen
next.
Max sat staring at the coffee table in front of him. He
wondered who this *friend* of Liz's was and just what he was
doing there. He knew it was wrong to be jealous, but he couldn't
help it. It killed him to think that Liz was going to spend time
with this . . . guy.
"So, guys, how's it going?" Maria asked as she walked
back in and sat beside Max on the loveseat.
"Uh . . . good," Michael replied. "Say, is Isabel
home?"
"Yeah, she's in her room," Maria replied. "I asked
her to come with us, but her audition didn't go so hot so she's
not up to it."
"Oh, well I think I'll go see how she's doing," Michael
said. "Do you mind?"
"No, no," Maria replied. "Go on." She watched
Michael walk down the hall towards Isabel's room and felt a pang
of jealousy. He was always so concerned about Isabel. She wished
for once that he'd show the same concern for her.
"Izzy? You in there?" Michael called softly as he
rapped gently on the door.
"Yeah, come in," she sniffled from within the room. He
opened the door and saw her curled up on the bed in a sitting
position, her back to the headboard.
"Hey," he said with a small smile as he closed the door
and walked over to the bed to sit beside her.
"Hey," she replied as she wiped at her eyes. "So,
I guess you heard."
"About the audition? Yeah, Maria told me that you were upset
about it," he said.
"I was awful, Michael!" she wailed as she leaned over
towards him. His arms came quickly around her and she began to
cry again on his broad shoulder.
"I'm sure it wasn't so bad," he said as he tried to
comfort her.
"It was," she mumbled. "Even worse in fact."
"It'll be okay," he told her.
"I'm a horrible actress," she moaned.
"No, Isabel, you aren't. Things will get better. I promise
you they will."
"I hope so, Michael. God, I hope you're right," she
said. She leaned back and wiped at her eyes again. "Thanks,
talking to you always makes me feel better."
He smiled. "I'm glad."
"Are you still going to the movies with Maria tonight?"
she asked.
"Actually, I was thinking maybe we could stay here and keep
you company instead," he told her.
She smiled, "I'd like that."
Liz came out of her bedroom and peered into the living room.
Great, they were both still there. Well, it was now or never, she
decided, so she took a deep breath and headed into the room.
"Hi Simon, sorry it took me so long," she said as she
approached.
He turned and smiled at her. "Not a problem."
Turning to Max, she smiled. "Hey."
"Hey," he smiled in return.
"Did you guys meet and all?" she asked.
"Yeah, it was nice talking with you, Max," Simon said
amiably.
Max plastered a smile across his face and replied, "Yeah,
you too."
"Well, should we go?" Simon asked Liz.
She glanced quickly at Max. The look on his face was hard to
read, but she could swear his eyes were pleading with her to
stay. Turning back to Simon, she replied, "Yeah, let's
go."
Maria slumped down onto the couch and sighed. Michael had just
told her that he thought it best if they skip the movie. He
wanted to stay and make sure that Isabel was okay. She understood
him being concerned for their mutual friend, but in her heart she
knew it was more than that. She'd be forever envious of the bond
that Isabel and Michael shared, a bond that she could never be a
part of.
"So, I guess I should head home then," Max said sadly
as he started to get up. In all her self-pity, Maria had
forgotten that he was still there.
"Wait, Max, don't leave yet," she said quickly.
"We can still go see a movie if you want to."
He started to shake his head no, but Maria interrupted him.
"I think we could both use an escape right about now."
He gave her a melancholy smile and nodded. She was right. He'd
give anything at that moment to just escape from this life. They
quickly grabbed their coats and left together.
It was ten o'clock when Michael opened his eyes. He awoke to
find himself still in the same position as when he'd fallen
asleep; lying on Isabel's bed with his arm wrapped tightly around
her shoulder. They'd been watching a movie; he wasn't even sure
which one. The last thing he remembered was the smell of her hair
and the feel of her body shifting slightly against his as she
laid there at ease and watched a movie with her friend.
Friend. Michael hated that word. He was glad that Isabel
considered him a friend, but he wanted to be more than that. He
had wanted more for quite some time now. Unfortunately, Isabel
didn't seem to realize that. She thought of Michael almost like
she thought of Max. He was a part of her family. In her eyes, he
could never be more.
She was asleep now, her head resting on his shoulder and her
breath coming out in a smooth, even rhythm. He sighed contentedly
as he held onto her. Even if she didn't see him as anything but a
friend right now, maybe someday that would change. For right now,
though, he could enjoy this moment while it lasted.
Liz and Simon walked slowly, hand in hand, to her front door.
She stopped and turned to her date with a smile. "Thanks for
tonight, Simon. I had a nice time."
"I'm glad," he replied. "So did I."
She stared up at him and wondered if he kissed her, would she be
able to go through with it? Could she kiss someone else? The only
person she'd ever kissed was Max, and those few kisses had been
the most magical moments of her life. Could kissing someone else
ever live up to that?
He leaned in closer and Liz knew it was going to happen. He was
going to kiss her. She decided quickly to close her eyes and let
it happen.
When the kiss ended, Simon pulled away. "Thank you," he
said softly.
"For what?" she asked.
"For letting me kiss you good night, since I have a feeling
we won't be getting the chance on Friday night," he said.
"What makes you say that?" she asked in confusion.
"That guy that was here earlier, Max. Let's just say that
every scientist has the ability to weigh the elements given to
him and form a hypothesis. Mine is that you were some place else
all evening, and this Max guy had a lot to do with that."
"I'm sorry, Simon," she told him.
"No, Liz, it's okay. I know you really wanted this to work
out. So did I. But, can I give you some advice?" She nodded.
"Don't give up on Max just yet."
She was very surprised to hear this from the guy that had just
taken her on a date, but she found herself nodding anyway. Simon
turned to go and Liz watched him leave. She looked up at the
stars and thought that maybe she had been wrong. Maybe there was
more to this thing with Max after all.
Max and Maria got back from the movie and walked into the
apartment laughing together. They'd spent most of the evening
bemoaning their sad lives and had come to discover that their
mutual commiseration was actually quite comical. They'd decided
that laughing at their situations was better than crying about
them, so they'd been joking with each other the rest of the
night.
As they walked into the apartment, Maria said to Max,
"Thanks for going with me tonight. I had a nice time."
"Me too," he agreed.
"I wish things had turned out better for both of us tonight,
though," she added.
"Yeah, my best friend can't seem to catch a hint to save his
life," Max told her.
She smiled. "Mine either."
"Well, I guess I better get home. I still have a term paper
to write," he said. She nodded and smiled at him. He bent
down and kissed her forehead in a friendly gesture, then turned
back to the door and left.
As Maria walked down the hallway, Liz came out of her room.
"Hey, did Max leave yet?" she asked.
"Yeah, he just did," Maria told her. "How was your
date?"
"Um, I'll tell you later," Liz said, then left her room
and rushed down the hall and out the front door. Maria looked
after her for a moment, then just shook her head and continued
down the hall. She started to go into her own room, but her eyes
moved to Isabel's door instead. She knew she shouldn't invade
their privacy, but she had to have a look.
Easing the door open silently, Maria peered inside. What she saw
made her heart drop. There were Michael and Isabel, sound asleep
in each other's arms. They were both fully clothed and she was
sure that everything was perfectly innocent, but the sight still
made tears spring to Maria's eyes. She turned and left as quietly
as she had entered.
Liz bolted out the front door of her apartment
and looked frantically over the parking lot. She saw Max getting
into his Jeep and called out to him. "Max! Wait!"
He stopped, hearing that voice that he couldn't mistake for
anyone but her. He turned to see her running towards him.
"Liz, what is it?" he asked in concern. She seemed
frantic.
"I . . . I need to talk to you," she said in a rush. He
reached over and unlocked the passenger door and she climbed into
the Jeep beside him. "I'm really sorry about tonight,"
she began.
"Liz, if that's what this is about then don't bother. It's
okay, really," he assured her.
"No, Max, it's not. It's not okay." She sighed and
looked down at her hands. "The truth is . . . well, I didn't
really want to go out with Simon. I mean, I like him and all, but
. . . well, he's not you. You're the one I want, Max." She
looked up at him then. "You must know that by now."
"Liz, you know we can't . . ."
"Why? Why can't we? What is stopping us?" She moved
closer to him and said softly, "I love you, Max Evans. I
have for a long time now. And I know you love me, too. So, what
is it that you're so afraid of?"
He looked into her deep brown eyes and almost lost himself.
Looking away to gather his thoughts, Max replied, "It's not
safe."
"You've been saying that for five years."
"And it's still true. It'll never be safe, Liz. Never."
"But I love you anyway," she replied. "You and no
one else. And, safe or not, I'll always love you. I'm not giving
that up. I'm not even sure that I could if I wanted to," she
admitted.
He looked at the steering wheel, refusing to meet her eyes.
"Look at me, Max," she said. She reached out and took
his chin in her hands and turned him towards her. "Look me
in the eyes and tell me that you don't feel the same way. Tell me
that you don't love me and I promise that I'll walk away
forever."
He stared into her beautiful and haunting eyes and suddenly
nothing else existed but the two of them. "I can't lie to
you, Liz," he said softly. "I never could. I do love
you. I've loved you for as long as I can remember. Nothing in the
world has ever scared me more than the way I feel about you . . .
but nothing has ever felt so right either."
She smiled as she blinked back the tears in her eyes. "Kiss
me, Max," she whispered. For once, he was beyond hesitation.
He moved closer to her, pulling her into his arms and lowering
his mouth slowly to hers. When their lips met, it was like an
explosion. They could each feel the depth of their feelings for
one another as they lost themselves in the kiss.
When they finally parted, Max looked down into her eyes once
again. "I'm sorry, Liz," he said softly.
"There's nothing to be sorry for. We were both just
scared," she told him.
"I should have let this happen a long time ago. I've been
running away from you for too long. I was hiding behind the
danger I was afraid this might put you in, but the truth is that
I was just as afraid that things might not work out. I mean, I
love you so much . . . I just don't know what I'd do if I had to
go the rest of my life knowing that you didn't feel the same
way," he admitted.
"You'll never have to, Max. I could never stop loving
you," she said as she touched his cheek gently with her
hand.
He kissed her again and smiled. "This is all I've ever
wanted, Liz. This moment is the most perfect time of my entire
life."
"I'm glad you feel that way, Max, but," she looked up
at him and smiled seductively before adding, "I still want
more." And, with that, they were lost in another kiss.
The End
October 28, 1999