Author: Kara
Email: [email protected]
"The mark of your Ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly."--Richard Bach
Mending A Broken Heart (Tag to The Balance)
Then Max drove up to the house, he was surprised to see lights still on. Isabel hadn't said anything about a date tonight, and he thought he'd snuck out quietly enough so that his mom wouldn't notice. But when he walked in, she was sitting in the kitchen waiting for him, two cups of hot chocolate sitting on the table.
"Mom?"
He could feel his face heating up. His parents weren't strict about curfew, as long as he told them where he was going, but since he'd been out of the house all weekend...
His mom looked up at him and smiled. "Hi, honey. How's Liz?"
Again, she knew. She always knew. He'd never understand that weird mother radar she had. Isabel had it too sometimes. Maybe it came with being female, or living with him for ten years. But he didn't want to talk about Liz now.
"Who said I was out with Liz?"
And he could see his mom's face flinch.
"Mom, I didn't mean..."
His mom didn't deserve that. It was his fault anyways.
She patted the chair beside her. "Sit down, hon. You don't have to talk. Just let me see you for a while." She smiled. "You've been so busy lately...It's been days since I've even seen Michael."
He choked. "Michael hasn't been feeling too well lately..." Cocooning himself in cobwebs and almost dying didn't exactly translate into human terms. "Fever, chills...probably something flu-like."
His mom nodded thoughtfully, wearing her 'I don't buy it, but I'll respect what you have to protect me from' look. She knew Michael had never been sick a day in his life, just as she knew that he and Izzy hadn't been, either. She never even flinched anymore when Michael would appear for breakfast on a random school morning. His parents had a wonderful 'don't ask, don't tell' policy. It was nice that they respected him and Izzy. But somehow, they were still able to read him a little too close for comfort.
He sipped his hot chocolate, willing himself not to get up for the loyal bottle of tabasco that sat in the pantry. No use to freak his mom out even more. Ever since the car accident, she'd watched him a lot closer than normal. She hadn't said anything about how late they were out the night of the rave, or even mentioned the odd hours he seemed to keep this semester. But sometimes he had to wonder how much she knew, or had guessed.
"So..."
He looked up at her, and found her blue eyes watching him closely. "Mom..." He tried to keep his voice calm and level, but knew it wouldn't work. The emotions of the night were still too raw.
She reached out and patted his hand. "Honey, did something happen with Liz?"
And she did it again. He would ask Liz if the same thing happened with her mom, but he got the feeling that they weren't that close. Liz had always seemed to be more of a daddy's girl. Maybe he could ask Alex, orMaria--if they were speaking to him tomorrow, about what he'd done to Liz.
"I'm fine, Mom. Really." He gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile. And he wondered why he even bothered to try and fool her sometimes. Maybe it was because both of his parents were lawyers that they were able to read their children so well. "This is really good hot chocolate, Mom. You've outdone yourself this time."
"Max..." She put her worn hand over his, and he realized how many lines creased her face now. It was as if she'd aged overnight. She had just turned forty-seven the past year. And he still thought she was one of the most beautiful women in the universe. "You know that if you want to talk, I'm here, right?"
He nodded, not trusting his voice.
She smiled at him, squeezing his hand. "She's a nice girl, honey. But sometimes when things happen so fast, you need to take some time off to figure it out."
"And if she doesn't want me back, after I've figured it all out?" His voice quivered. He hated when it did that. It was a sign of weakness and a crack in his careful control. He stared down at his cup, trying to blink back the tears he thought he had already shed.
And his mom's arms came around him, her lips against his cheek. She rocked him slowly, the way she used to when he was small. "I know how much you mean to each other, baby. I can see it in your eyes. Just trust your heart and hers, and you'll find each other again, no matter what. It's hard to mend a broken heart, but not that hard."
No questions about why he had broken it off with Liz, no question about who did what...just a sense of being patient, and thinking it through. He buried his face in her shoulder, as he hadn't done since he was eleven years old.They stayed that way for a while, until he felt like his emotions were under control again.
She laid a light kiss on his cheek as she pulled away, stroking his hair off his forehead. Liz had the same gesture that she used. Oh, God, what had he done?
But it was time to take that step back, before they broke their hearts beyond mending. They needed time and strength to work this out.
"Thanks, Momma. I love you." He stood, hugged and kissed her one more time before heading up to his room. At school on Monday, he'd talk to Liz, and try to set them back on the road to being friends again.
She smiled. "I love you too, baby."
"Lizzie?" Her dad's voice came through the roof door. "We're home, hon."
"Coming, Daddy." She wiped at her eyes hurriedly, closing her journal. She could pretend like nothing was wrong. She fooled her parents before, she could fool them again.
Her mom and dad each gave her a kiss and a hug. "How were the stars?" She gave them her best bright smile.
But when they exchanged small in-love smiles like she and Max sometimes did, it was like someone was dissecting her heart. How had her parents made it all the way through high school? She knew they hadn't dated the whole time, but they were one of those annoying high school romances that made it...
"It was nice, Lizzie. Really nice. Lots of nice stars. Venus looked nice too."
And the memory of Max, that shy smile on his face..."I thought she was right in front of me..."
And strong arms were wrapped around her.
Not arms like Max's, but a safe haven nonetheless. Her arms found their way around her dad's neck, as easily as they had when she was smaller. "Daddy..."
And he picked her up as if she were small again, cradling her against his chest. He sat with her on the couch in the front room, holding her on his lap. And for a moment, she could believe that he would fix it, as he had when she was younger--every time she fell down, or had a fight with her mom, or got yelled at by a customer.
She felt her mom's hand on her head, stroking her hair. She wasn't that close to her mom, but after Grandma Claudia died...they'd both made more of an effort.
"Is it Kyle, hon?"
If only it were something as uncomplicated as Kyle.
She shook her head, burying her face in her dad's shoulder. He smelled like the desert, and campfire, and sleeping under the stars. And her dad's voice, softer. "Was it Max Evans?"
She wouldn't cry. Not again. She'd cried enough, out on the roof, under the stars that gave her no comfort.
"He...we're friends, Daddy. Just...friends." And that's all they'd ever be, even though he loved her as much as she loved him. She'd won that much at least--him admitting that he loved her. She lifted her head up, and swallowed. "We can be friends. Right?"
She needed that reassurance from someone who'd been there--an experienced adult. No scientific method was needed to prove this to her, just the knowlege that someone else had gone through the broken heart and survived to tell about it.Almost tentatively, she felt her mom's arms come around her too.
"Baby, you're only sixteen. You have a long time before you have to worry about love."
But she didn't know how much time she had. Not anymore. Not with the only person on this earth who was her soulmate.
"It'll all work out, hon. I promise. You're young, and he's young...you just need time to think sometimes, before it gets too intense. It's good to take time off, baby." Her dad kissed the top of her head. "He cares a lot about you, and always has. I don't think that will change anytime soon."
And if her dad believed... That was enough to get her through the night at least. She could rethink this again tomorrow, when the emotions were a little less painful. She would prove Maria's theory that Czechoslovakian-human relations wouldn't work wrong, no matter how many tries it took, no matter how many times her heart was broken.
"Don't be dismayed at Goodbyes. A farewell is neccessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends."--Richard Bach