Author: Terri
Email: [email protected]
Crossover: Roswell/ The X-Files
Category: M/S and M/L , a little M/M and I/A
Disclaimer: Don't own em , don't sue
Spoilers: "Heat Wave", for Roswell.
"Millenium" for The X-Files.
Author's Notes: I wrote this before seeing the Roswell episode
"Heat Wave." But I did have prior knowledge of some
event ( eg: Max and Liz's kiss). So some things are consistant
with that ep and some things aren't ( eg: Michael and Maria
didn't break up in mine). So that's that.
Just My Luck (Part Four)
She knew she had to tell him, at least to warn him of what might be coming. She owed him that, and more, so much more.
She had asked him to meet her later that night. She told him to come alone. She didn't think she could handle it with the others there.
When she heard the sound of the jeep pulling around back through the alley, her face fell. She had really screwed up this time.
This was worse than telling Maria, worse than "losing" her journal, worse by far. She didn't know how he'd react, what he'd say. She just hoped that he wouldn't say that they could not be together, because she knew she would not be able to take hearing him say that to her, again.
She let him in the back door. He gave her a smile, but she could not return it. "Hey," he said as he looked at her solemn face, "What is it? What's wrong?"
Liz looked at him. His eyes were wide with concern. Looking at him now, she was taken back to the night of their first kiss. She remembered what he had said to her exactly. "...No matter what we go through, I know it will be worth while for me, 'cause we're together."
She wondered that if he would feel the same after she told him what they had done, the danger that they had put him in. She was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn't even realize that she was now crying, and that she was unable to hide it from Max.
He gathered her up in his strong arms, trying to comfort her, but it only made her feel worse. She wanted to remember this moment, because she was not sure if she would ever have another one like it w ith him. She wanted to have his touch, his scent, his feel burned on her memory permanently, because she was so afraid that if it all ended that she would forget it and never feel the same way again.
He whispered in her ear, "Liz, please, what's wrong? You
can tell me... Just please don't cry."
It was almost too much to bear, hearing him say those kind words
to her. 'I don't deserve him,' she thought.
She put her hand on his chest, letting it linger for a moment, before she used it to put distance between them. She glanced at him briefly, and she thought that she saw a little bit of hurt in his eyes. "Max, I have to tell you something," she said after she managed to find her voice. "But before I tell you that I have to tell you something else. Something important. Well, they're both important. But the second is more important than the first. Well, maybe not. I'm not sure which you'd consider to be more--"
"Liz," he said softly, "You're babbling. Just tell me. Whatever it is."
Liz sat down at one of the booths. She didn't trust her legs not to give out at any moment. She wiped her face, getting rid of the streaks of tears that ran down her cheeks. "Okay," she said. "Well, I know this is gonna sound crazy, but-- Um-- Oh god, I don't know how to say this so I'm just gonna say it."
She watched his face as he sat down across from her. She had no idea what he would say after she got done telling him everything, and that scared her. "Max... I have never in my life met someone as kind and giving as you. I mean, that day you didn't have to save my life, but you risked it all... For me. And I think that even if it hadn't been me, if it had been some other innocent bystander, I think you would have saved them too. I owe you everything, and you don't owe me anything. And I can't believe that I'm lucky enough to have someone as kind, and generous, and as human as you in my life. And I-- I love you."
He stared at her for a second, not moving, not saying anything. Then he smiled, and it was the brightest and happiest she'd ever seen him. He didn't reply with words, but he started to move across the table coming closer to her.
She turned her face away from him, and quickly stood up. "No, no," she said. "No. I'm not finished."
He looked extremely confused, but he nodded, implying that she should continue.
"I just, I just wanted to tell you that because I wanted you to know the truth, because... Max, Alex and Maria and I, we hacked into those FBI agents' computer this morning." She watched as his face fell. 'I knew it,' she thought. She sat back down slowly, and he did the same.
She started again. "Alex has done this before. That's how we found out that Miss Topolski was with the FBI in the first place. But these guys... Alex thinks they performed a trace. He tried to cover his tracks, but... He's not positive that he got out before they completed the trace. And I just thought you should know... And I will understand if you never want to speak to me again. I mean, I just keep screwing up with this. I just, I wanted to help. I felt so useless--"
"Liz." She looked at him carefully. She couldn't tell what he was thinking. She was confused as he reached over the table and took her hand.
"All my life, I never thought that I would hear anyone say what you just said to me."
"You're not talking about the trace, are you?" she asked hopefully.
"No... Liz, before I healed you, I was so closed off to everything. I never got close to anyone. I mean, that day when I saved you, I think I saved myself too. And I do-- I have loved you for a long time."
Liz smiled brightly. All she had wanted, ever since she had met Max Evans, was to hear him say those words to her. And now he had. Maybe everything was going to be okay after all. She moved across the table, looking him in the eyes...
And then he turned away from her.
"And," he started, still not looking at her, "It's because I feel the way I do about you, that I have to go."
She slumped back into the booth. " Go? Go, where? Max--"
"I have to," he said as he stood up and moved for the door.
She raced over to him, grabbing him by the arm. "No, Max," she said, her voice shaky. "No, don't go. Please."
He turned to face her and she saw a single tear running down his cheek. She had never seen him cry before, and now that she saw the hurt that she was causing him, it make her feel like someone had just punched her in the stomach. "Liz," he said slowly, trying to make sure his voice didn't break. "Please don't make this any harder than it has to be."
"You can't tell me you love me and then walk away!" she exclaimed, still clinging to him desperately. " Max, please. I'm so sorry."
"So am I," he said.
She looked at him then. The pain in his eyes was obvious, and his resolve was crumbling. Then he did what she least expected. He leaned down and kissed her, and she could tell by the way he held onto her that he believed it would be their last. He broke away from her with what sounded like a sob, and then he walked out the door without another word.
And she cried all night, until she thought that she would never again be able to shed another tear.
She had been acting strangely ever since that night. He kept telling himself that he had screwed up, royally.
He had waited too long. And he gave himself a mental slap when he thought about their kiss. If he had known what it would be like, he wouldn't have waited so long.
He had to admit that he wasn't being really approachable. He didn't want to have "the talk". He didn't want to hear what he was sure she would say to him. That it was a mistake, that it shouldn't have been. He didn't think that after seven years, after everything they had been through together, that he would be able to handle hearing her say that to him.
He sat on the bed in his hotel room, his hair still wet from the shower, his chest still bare. He was getting ready to meet with the Sheriff.
There had been no sign of Scully all morning. He wanted to go over there to ask her if she was going to join him, but he kept hesitating.
Then there she was, walking briskly into his room, without knocking. When she saw him, she stopped short. She had seen Mulder in less than this, but there was just something about seeing him like this now that made her stomach tie in knots.
Sensing that she was uncomfortable, he grabbed his shirt and quickly pulled it on. "What's up?" he asked.
She felt more at ease now, and she sat down on the bed, and
motioned for him to do the same.
"Someone just hacked into my computer," she said.
His eyes were wide. "Who?"
"I traced the line," she said as she handed him a slip of paper with a telephone number on it.
He noticed that the number was a local one. "Whose number is this?"
"The Whitmans'. As in Alex Whitman."
"He's involved then. I mean, this confirms it."
She nodded slightly . "But there's something else." Scully handed him another slip of paper, this one too had a telephone number on it, but not a local one. And Mulder recognized it.
"What is this?" he asked.
"This is the number of the second line that was traced. Whoever was on this second line wanted to know what Alex Whitman was doing."
"But, Scully, this number is an extension--"
"It's an extension from FBI headquarters in Washington."
"Hey, look at this! Does this look familiar to you?"
He just stood staring off into space. He couldn't get her out of his head. Everywhere he looked he saw her eyes, and they looked big and sad, the way they had the other night.
Every time he tried to think of anything, anything besides her, all he could hear inside his head was Liz saying that she loved him. Over and over again, it repeated itself. It was driving him crazy, not being able to be near her, especially after the way he had left. All he wanted more than anything was to hold her and forget everything else. Forget--
"Max! Are you listening to me?"
He looked over at Michael, who was studying the paintings on the cave wall with an extreme amount of intensity. Ever since Max had shown Michael the cave, it seemed to be the only place in the world where Michael wanted to be. He had dragged Max along with him more than once, and when he asked to go this morning Max figured maybe it would take his mind off of--
"Are you still thinking about Liz?" Michael asked him impatiently.
Max shrugged and then walked towards him. "So what if I am?" he said sadly.
"So you should get over it," Michael said. " We have more important things to think about."
Max looked over at Michael, and for once he didn't want to be the one who tried to see things the way Michael saw them. He wanted, just this once, for Michael to try to understand how he felt. "'More important things?'" Max asked. " What do we have, Michael? We have these stupid paintings on the wall of a cave, and we don't even know what they mean. We have nothing... Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"Nothing."
Maria stroked Liz's hair as she lay across her lap. "That's it?" Maria asked.
"Yeah," Liz murmured.
She stared ahead, looking at everything but seeing nothing really. All she could think of was Max. All she saw when she closed her eyes was his face, his sad face with the single tear running down his cheek. All she could hear was him saying he loved her, and that that was why he had to leave. She thought she could still feel his kiss on her lips, that last desperate kiss that had broken her heart and then...
"Nothing," Maria repeated. "He tells you he loves you, then basically says you can't be together, kisses you, then just leaves? And you've heard nothing from him since? That definitely lacks decency."
"Please, don't try and make him into the bad guy," Liz said. She could barely believe that this was happening, but she couldn't, she wouldn't, let Maria make Max sound like some terrible person.
"But that's my job," Maria said, trying, without success, to cheer Liz up. "I'm the best friend, it's my job to make the ex boyfriend into this horrible monster that we can rag on. And to provide you with the double chocolate chip ice cream, which, by the way, is downstairs."
Liz had to smile. "Thanks, but I'm just not in the bashing, stuff your face with ice cream mood. He had every right to do what he did... I don't deserve him anyway."
"Oh, God, " Maria said rolling her eyes. "Let's not start attacking your character, Liz. I mean, this is so beyond complicated, this whole relationship with Max. I mean, when you think about it, you're so right for each other."
"Thanks for reminding me," she said sadly.
"But, Liz, what I mean is that he did this once before. Who's to say that this all won't blow over and he'll come crawling back?"
Liz shook her head. "No. This time, I think he means it... And that's what hurts the most."
"This time, I mean it."
"Yeah right, Max."
Michael eyed his friend suspiciously. There was something he
wasn't telling him. Something big.
Michael knew that Max would not break it off with Liz Parker
unless something had happened. Something that was a threat to
her, to all of them.
"What's going on, Max? I know you, you are completely hung up on that Liz girl. You have been for years, and now that you finally have her you break it off? It doesn't add up. What aren't you telling me?"
Max looked him in the eye. "You're right, there is something I'm not telling you."
"So, what is it?"
Max almost let out a small chuckle. "There's a reason I'm not telling you what it is, Michael."
"No, it doesn't work that way, my friend. You can't shut me out, especially if it's important enough to leave the only girl you've ever loved just to make sure she's safe. That's what you did, isn't it?"
Max paced nervously. He knew what Michael would do if he found out what had happened. But, Michael was right. They were in deep here, and Michael needed to know the score. "Liz and Alex and Maria hacked into those FBI agents' computer," he said evenly. "She thinks that they might have traced the line. They might know that Alex was the one who did it."
Michael threw up his hands in frustration. " How could you not tell me!?"
"How could you not tell me?" Liz stared at her best friend in disbelief. Maria had been keeping this from her for more than three weeks! She couldn't believe this.
"Okay, I see I've gotten you out of your 'Woe is me' funk. But it's not, like, even a big deal."
"Not a big deal? Of course it's a big deal! You and Michael?"
Maria walked around Liz's room, playing with the things on her dresser. She didn't want to talk about this, especially with Liz.
"It's really not a big deal, though. I mean, it's not like with you and Max."
Liz thought Maria sounded a little sad when she said that. "Well," Liz said, "We don't have anything now."
"Yes, you do," Maria said seriously. "You always will, no matter what. Liz, he saved your life. He loves you enough to let you go, he loves you enough to make sure you're not in danger. It's not about love with me and Michael... In fact, I don't know what it's about."
Maria played with the ring on her finger, looking uncomfortable. She wasn't sure how she felt about Michael. It was mainly sucking face, but... That day on the road with him , going to Texas, she thought she saw something behind that brooding tough guy exterior. She thought that she had connected with him somehow, but now... It was all just physical.
But looking at Liz right now, she thought that maybe just being physical with someone wasn't so bad. At least you couldn't get your heart broken.... Or maybe you could.
"So why don't you talk to him?"
Maria looked confused, "What? Who?"
"Michael," Liz said. "Maybe if you talked you'd find out that you have more in common than just... you know."
"Us? Talk? Never gonna happen."
"Never gonna happen."
"What? Why?"
Max looked at Michael impatiently. This was exactly why he didn't want to tell him about what had happened. "Michael, they're already suspicious. We can't go snooping around now. We have to lay low."
"Max, we need to find out what they know. It's our only shot."
Max was getting annoyed now. Michael always wanted to act, get it done. He didn't realize that this wasn't always the best course of action. "Michael, no. That's it. It's done. Now promise me you won't go anywhere near those FBI agents."
Michael sighed.
"Promise me," Max said.
"I promise, all right?"
"Good. Now let's get out of here."
But Michael had already made up his mind. He was going to take matters into his own hands. And this time he wasn't going to wait for, or care, if he had Max's approval.