Author: Ash
Email: [email protected]
Rated PG, maybe PG-13 for adult themes and language here and there.
Disclaimer:I don't own any of the characters, etc. from Roswell just borrowing and giving them back; Sarah is, however, mine!! :0)
Spoilers: Starts moments after the events in "Balance"
Fanfic challenge: based on "It's a Wonderful Life"
(which should receive all credit due to it for the
borrowed character of Clarence and the rules of guardian
angelship, etc. A GREAT movie!!)
Category: mainly M/L
Feedback: Oh yeah!
Jagged Little Pill (Part Two Chapter Five)
Max had been completely wrapped up in his plans the rest of the afternoon and finally, school was out.
Should he go to her now? Or play it safe and let time bring them together? Or just punch Kyle out, declare his love for her and ride off into the sunset?
He was tempted to go for the last option, because Kyle had at least one punch coming to him.
Max smiled. He knew one thing. He was definitely eating at the Crashdown Cafe. He couldn't wait to see Liz in her waitress uniform. Somehow she could make even that look hot.
Back off, Maximillion, he told himself, then paused.
The nickname Michael had always used for him...it wasjust a part of him now. Max frowned. Michael seemed so different here. So angry and brooding, and suspicious. But he guessed he would probably be the same way if left alone with all the secrets.
Max looked up at the Crashdown sign before entering. It was so
familiar to him. And as he entered, he was actually able to look
at the alien memorabilia and smile. It wasn't a grotesque
representation of all that he hated about himself. Not anymore.
Looking around the crowded cafe, he was surprised to see Michael sitting in a booth alone.On impulse, he walked over to him. "Mind if I sit down?" he asked, and gestured at the empty booth seat.
Michael stared at him. "Why?"
Max tried to be as non-threatening as possible. "Actually, I think all the other booths are taken."
Michael glanced around and back at Max. "Suit yourself. I'm almost done."
Max sat down and couldn't help but steal a glance at the empty Tabasco bottle on the table beside Michael's plate of pie. The desert was smothered in it. Max blinked. The thought of eating Tabasco on something sweet actually repulsed him. He had to smile.
"What?" Michael asked with a frown, "So I like Tabasco."
"No, I knew this guy who used to do that all the time, that's all."
Michael stared at him for a long moment. Max smiled as gently
as possible. Then his focus was
drawn to the bar, where Liz was picking up a platter from the
serving window. She headed for the counter and grabbed a few more
items before moving to a table near him. She walked with such
natural grace, balancing the huge tray on her small hand. He was
glad she hadnšt noticed him yet. He could lose himself in one of
his favorite pastimes....Liz worship.
He was appreciating the short skirt on her uniform when his companion reminded him of his presence.
"Liz Parker, huh?" Michael's grin was calculated to be smug and irritating.
Max looked down, embarrassed that he had been so obvious. Had to be the strange circumstances. "Well,uh, yeah. I mean, maybe."
Michael looked back over at her. "Too brainy for me. But at least you're not after Isabel. Smart move. Because then I might have to kill you."
Max couldn't help but be disturbed. He glanced away, unsure of
what to say in response. He found himself noticing the couple at
the table Liz had just finished serving. An odd looking couple,
whispering excitedly over what looked like a small snapshot. They
were clearly out-of-place here, and yet they looked familiar...
"Just what we needed. More tourists," he heard Michael say.
Suddenly, Maxšs breath caught in his throat. He looked at Michael with wild eyes. "What day is it?"
Michael frowned at him. "September 18, why?"
The entire room seemed to spin around Max as he tried to somehow make sense of what he'd just heard. Standing invisibly nearby, Sarah was completely disoriented at the rush of fear and horror she felt from Max. September 18....the date reverberated through his mind and hers.
"Max, what is it?" Sarah tried to get his attention.
Max could barely think to even look for Liz, to make sure she was okay. How could he have forgotten to check the date?
The men, the two men, were they here? Wouldn't he have noticed them? He glanced over across the restaurant and his heart froze in his throat. There they were, already arguing....*Oh, God...*
Max knew from experience, one had a gun in his pocket. He felt
as if he were in a nightmare, his heart pounding loudly in his
ears. Sarah suddenly realized what was coming, and she
balled her small hands into fists, all beauty and fury at once.
"No! NO!"
He saw Maria and Liz talking over by the bar. He couldnšt hear anything, not even Michael trying to get his attention. Time slowed down to a crawl as he saw Maria walking....*NO!*
He had to do something.Max barely managed to jump up before one man in the booth threw his arm over and broke a glass. As the shards of glass flew across the restaurant, Max saw Liz looking in the other direction. Max opened his mouth to yell a warning...
"LIZ!" Maria screamed.
Liz looked over just in time to see the gun pulled out. Everyone in the restaurant ducked...except Liz,who was frozen in horror. And Max. He tried to run to her, to beat the gun.... SUDDENLY, EVERYTHING FROZE:
Except one little glowing bundle of glorious fury.
Sarah's hair was flaming out behind her, her face a twisted mirror of what Max was feeling. "It's not fair!!"
A patient voice came down from heaven, "Sarah, stop doing that."
Sarah screamed up to heaven, tears rolling down her face. "I could have warned him, but I didnšt know. I thought this was all going to change since he changed."
"It has changed, little one. But not the way you want it to. Choices have consequences. And we canšt always take those away. Išm sorry, but this has to happen."
The freezing was UNDONE and before Sarah's horrified eyes... The shot was fired, and just before Max reached Liz, she was flung backwards like a rag doll.
Max screamed, "NO!!!"
Within heartbeats, he was by her side, ripping open her uniform to reveal the bleeding gunshot wound. He winced at the sight, barely able to breathe. *Not again*
Liz was almost unconscious from the pain. She was losing blood quickly. "It's going to be okay," he told her.
Then he froze. Reality hit him with a dull thud. He couldn't do anything. He was normal. All he could do was watch. He turned around frantically, "Call an ambulance!"
Maria was at the phone in a second. Max glanced down at Liz. He had to do something, anything. Suddenly he remembered. He was up in a flash, fighting the onlookers to get to Michael. He grabbed Michael by the shirt front.
"You have to do something. I would if I could, but I can't. PLEASE, help her!"
Michael was horrified at his request, but quickly adopted a cool stare. "I don't know what youšre talking about. Let go of me."
Michael pushed Max away and headed for the door. Max could heard Maria's panicked voice, "There's so much blood..."
Max ran after Michael in desperation. "She's been shot, Michael. You can't just let her die.Not when you can help."
Michael cast a worried look around, then fixed the full fire in his eyes on Max. "Get the hell away from me!" He shoved Max backwards, hard.
Max flew back against the nearest table and went over the top, taking food, dishes and all with him. He landed against the wall in a heap, stunned...And all he could think about was Liz, lying there, bleeding. He was helpless...and she would die.
Sarah slumped against the far wall, tears rolling down her face. There was nothing she could do.
"You live you learn
You love you learn You cry you learn You lose you learn You bleed
you learn
You scream you learn You grieve you learn You choke you learn
You laugh you learn You choose you learn You pray you learn You
ask you learn
You live you learn" Alanis Morrisette, from "You
Learn"
CHAPTER SIX
Later outside the Crashdown, policemen and bystanders were moving slowly about the building. The ambulance was still there, a testament to the hopelessness of the emergency. Max sat in the back alley, his head in his hands. Unshed tears burned in his throat as he contemplated his last vision of Liz alive. It was forever seared in his memory....her lifeless form in an ever-widening pool of crimson blood.
He couldnšt even get close enough to hold her as she left him. And she never even woke up. Never saw him try to save her. Never knew he loved her. She just...bled to death while the frantic paramedics worked over her.
Max didnšt think his heart could hold anymore pain, anymore grief. She was dead. And it was his wish that brought this, all of this pain. His wish had made his sister a stranger, his friend an enemy and his soul mate...a corpse.
If there was a way, any way he knew of, he would undo it...no matter what it took.
A breath of wind brought a small whisper, "There is away."
Max suddenly knew what he had to do. He jumped up and ran to the jeep.
MINUTES LATER
He faced the canyon with more hopelessness than hešd ever felt in his life.Only steps away, the yawning darkness of the cloudy night took away even the familiar stars he loved. He stood as one stands before a judge who knows all, guilty and already condemned. Sarah appeared beside him, and she slipped her small hand in his.
He gave her a grateful look, but pulled his hand away to step forward. This was no onešs fault but his own. He had been rash and wrong in despising the life he had been given. Alien, visitor, whoever he was, life was a gift and with it came blessings he had not even seen. Blessings at the hand of an unseen God who had the power to take it all away and....perhaps, the mercy to grant it again.
At least Max hoped so. He swallowed nervously...and bowed his head. "Take me in her place....please. Let me fall and die as I would have, if it will just...give Liz her life and make everything right again."
Sarah wept for him, and prayed on her own. When the fierce
wind began to blow toward the cliff,
Max lifted his head. He knew his prayer had been heard. He
stepped to the edge, held his arms out...and leaned into the
darkness without another thought.
As he fell, Sarah shimmered and disappeared with a sob.
In the peacefulness of heaven, she felt Clarence's presence
and turned to him for comfort.
"I did everything wrong, and he's dead. She'll be miserable
without him. Just miserable."
Clarence chuckled with that superiority that only arch angels can have. "Little one, you do not know your God as well as you should. Look down below."
When Sarah finally cleared her tear-stained eyes enough to see, she radiated enough bright joy for a thousand suns. The bell that sounded and the beautiful wings she grew were of little matter to her, as long as she could see them together.
Max was climbing the fire escape, his heart in his throat. The
pain of the last hours in his "normal"
world had not yet subsided, but he could do nothing else buy try
and put to right what he had destroyed here. If she would just be
alive here, in this world. Just allow him to see her and hold
her, he could fix whatever stood between them. He neared the top,
almost afraid of what he would find there. But Liz was still
standing, looking at the stars. Tears were streaming unendingly
down her face.
*How long has she been standing here?*
She had to hear Max as he landed lightly on the rooftop, but she didn't even acknowledge his presence. He could feel the pain radiating from her, and the insecurity his words had left behind. He dared not go closer. "Liz?"
She wiped her eyes and turned, a guarded look on her face. "What is it, Max?"
He couldn't help but look relieved that she was alive and here before him. He took a step nearer. "I meant what I said before-" he began.
"Then why did you come back?" she lashed out at him angrily.
He took a step forward and looked down, realizing his relief and his words had been taken wrongly. "I mean, I meant what I said before, when I said that no matter what we go through, it's worth it, as long as we're together."
Liz looked at him, confused and hopeful. He crossed to her, still not daring to reach out. "I am out of balance, but without you, it just gets worse. Trust me. I know that now."
Liz searched his eyes for a moment, then cautiously stepped forward. "So you came back because you--?"
Max gazed deeply into her eyes. "I can't live without you."
Liz looked up at him searchingly. How could she could trust him fully? Those words had cut her like blades... "We don't belong together."
Max knew only one way to erase her doubt. "May I touch you?" he asked quietly. Liz hesitated and looked away, but finally nodded. Slowly and gently, Max placed both of his hands on the sides of her face. Locking his eyes with hers, he reached out with his mind. "Take deep, even breaths," he whispered.
It was almost immediate. Their breathing in sync, their hearts
beating as one, Liz felt herself giving
in to the connection between them. And suddenly, Liz could see
flashes of the jeep nearing a yawning chasm....an angel...Isabel,
or was it?...the shooting at the Crashdown....his anguish....and
a desperate leap into space. But most importantly, she felt his
love, his clear, undivided love for her flowing from him.
Max took his hands away and looked at her intently. "Did you see?"
"I'm not sure what I saw," Liz began with a confused smile, "But I know how you feel."
He leaned down to kiss her, but she stopped him with her hand. He was startled and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Sorry...I...I'm sorry."
She reached out and touched his arm, tilting her head until he finally met her eyes. "Let's just wait a while, okay? Until everything is...balanced. We have plenty of time." Liz's smile reassured him, and Max took her hands in his.
"As long as you're okay, I'm okay. And I mean that." Liz allowed him to pull her into an embrace and they stood like that for a long, long time.
WEEKS LATER, CHRISTMAS EVE
Liz had been watching him all night, but purposefully staying away. She loved the way his eyes lit up when he saw her, and the funny way his ears burned red when she greeted him with a kiss on the cheek in front of everyone.
The party at the Crashdown was winding down now, only a few
people left. Liz walked over to Max as he stood talking to
Michael and Maria. "I don't think that's any of our
business. Isabel and
Alex are perfectly..." he was saying.
She slipped her hand into his, waiting for him to finish. She
laid her cheek against his arm, feeling
the muscles move under his shirt. She felt like she could wait
forever just like that.
But he took one look at her, and he was finished. "Uhhh...what was I saying?"
Maria grabbed Michael's arm. "Let's go, space boy. Merry Christmas, Liz. I'll call you tomorrow." She couldn't resist winking at Liz as she walked out, Michael in tow.
Max turned to Liz. "So, have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?"
Liz didn't answer. She just stepped closer to him and buried her face in his chest. She loved the warm smell of him, and felt his arms slide around her. It was time.
She tilted her head back and immediately felt the intensity of his gaze on her. The question in his eyes was answered by her sweet and gentle kiss. Everything felt right in the world, everything finally felt... balanced.
Until a quiet, angelic giggle pulled Max's attention away for a minute, and he glanced around with wide eyes.
Liz looked around with a questioning smile, "All right, Sarah, he's mine now."
Max smiled down at Liz, glad he had told her everything. He caressed her face gently and kissedher, letting her have just a taste of his passion for her.
Sarah sighed and decided to give them their privacy. How much she envied them their love! She floated back to heaven, her frosty-golden wings shimmering in the air. But even from this distance, she could still feel their happiness. And, for a moment, she glowed even brighter than the stars.