Author: jb
Email: [email protected]
Disclaimer: Roswell, its characters, and anything else relating to it, do not belong to me, and are being humbly borrowed without permission.
Summary: Post-ep piece for River Dog, from Liz’s POV...what happened after they left the cave...(written before Heatwave aired)
Spoilers: Up to, and including, River Dog
Archiving: Go for it, if you like it enough, just let me know!
I Take Your Hand
I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, and know that I’ll
not sleep this night. Or rather, what’s left of this night.
My mouth quirks in a quick, wry grin, and I turn over and get
comfortable on my stomach, chin propped on interlaced fingers.
This reminds me of the cave, and my mind wanders yet again to
those moments, when I walked hand in hand with him. I can still
feel the warmth of his skin against mine, the tingles that sped
through me when our shoulders would brush, and how my heart beat
in time with our footsteps.
We were pretty quiet on the way back to town. I’m sure Max
was going over the images that we had seen on the wall of the
cave, and what River Dog had revealed to us about the fourth
alien. I was concentrating on the road, but also thinking both
about River Dog’s warning to me, and how it felt to hold
hands with Max, so I left him to his thoughts. I couldn’t
stop myself, however, from sneaking the occasional furtive glance
at him, watching the subtle play of emotions cross his features
as he stared out the window. Once in a while, his eyes would
catch mine, and I would be graced with a little half-smile, which
banished the night’s chill from the car, and made me melt a
little more each time.
I could feel this weird tension in the air from the moment we
walked into the Crashdown. The diner section was darkened, and
Isabel was scrunched up, in a somewhat defensive posture, in a
booth near the front windows. Michael lay sprawled across the
counter top, drumming his fingers on his chest, and counting the
holes in the ceiling tile. I could see his lips move silently as
he counted. Maria sat on a stool at the opposite end of the
counter, studiously ignoring the other two, while toying with a
thread on her shirt sleeve. It seemed like something had happened
while we were gone, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.
Michael was soon all over Max, figuratively, begging to find out
the details. Typical Maria was stuck to me like a leech, giving
me her "I really need to tell you something/don’t leave
me alone with them any longer" look. Isabel was anxious to
get home, and was gradually moving "their" group toward
the door.
They decided to discuss the cave findings amongst themselves at
Max and Isabel’s, as it would soon be time to open the
Crashdown, and they were also worried about arousing further
curiosity from Mrs. Evans about nighttime sojourns. Maria hung
back to wait for me as I saw our "Czech’s" to the
back door. I noticed her giving Michael a strange look, though,
which he returned, before he and Isabel headed outside. Max
paused at the door, and my heart gave a queer thud as he turned
to me and leaned close.
"Are you sure you’re okay?" I could just make out
the look of concern on his face in the dim glow of the exit sign.
"Yeah," I smiled a little to reassure him, though I had
a thousand questions that part of me wanted answers for right
then. The other part of me wished that he would lean just that
much closer, so that I could drown in the feel of his lips on
mine, as I was now drowning in the look in his eyes.
However, Isabel and Michael needed him right then, and Maria
needed me, so that kiss was regretfully not an option. Perhaps he
was thinking along the same lines as me at that moment, for his
eyes briefly moved to my lips, before he stole a quick caress
along my jaw, and then followed the other two out the door. I was
still trying to breathe normally, when I was accosted by Maria in
the back room.
"Liz, Michael kissed me!"
"What?" I was floored. First they’re trading
insults, then feeling vibes, and now they’re kissing?
Maria excitedly rambled on for several minutes, hands flying,
face lit up like a Christmas tree. I was very happy for her, but
also a little, no a lot, in shock at this turn of events. She
interrupted herself with a yawn that brought us back to the
reality of how late it was.
"I gotta go, Liz, this evening, night, whatever, has got me
so drained. I’ll be a walking zombie tomorrow if I don’t
get some sleep!" Maria began to gather up her belongings.
"Did you wanna stay over?" I offered, worried about her
driving home when she was so tired. Part of me was somewhat
relieved, however, when she refused, saying that her mother
needed the car first thing. I needed some time to myself to think
before I could face the coming day.
After Maria left, I dragged myself upstairs, and quietly got
ready for bed. I was sure that I would fall asleep the moment my
head hit the pillow, but once I shut off the light, my mind began
once again replaying the night’s scenes. My fatigue slipped
away, to be replaced by anxiety, amazement, and wonder.
Light is just starting to illuminate my room now, from behind
the edges of my blind. I think of the soft light that pooled in
Max’s hands, hands that had cupped my face as he showed me
his thoughts. I turn over to stare at the ceiling again, and my
next thoughts address him as though he can hear me. I know, of
course, that he cannot - at least I’m pretty sure he can’t--
so it’s a nice, safe, one-sided conversation.
I wonder if you guys are still talking, or have you surrendered
to sleep? Has Michael told you about him and Maria? Do you
wonder, like I do, what it would be like to kiss each other?
Are you thinking of all that River Dog told us in the cave? I am
worried that you overheard what he told me right before we left.
I see us back in the cave, you standing with your hand
outstretched to me. Do you see any doubt in my eyes as I look at
you? Doubt that never stood a chance, as I see the trust in
yours, and also (this never ceases to astound me) your love for
me. I pray that you see, instead, my love for you, as I take your
hand, and walk with you, beside you, toward the rest of our
lives.
The sun has by now fully risen, and as my alarm goes off, I am
feeling curiously refreshed, as though the light is giving me its
strength. I know, however, that it is you who gives me my
strength, and as I get ready for today, I look forward to a time
when I once more can take your hand.
The End