Author: X_tremeroswellian
Email: [email protected]
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue. The song "Good Enough" is also not mine. It belongs to Sarah McLachlan, and can be found on her albums, "Fumbling Towards Ecstacy," "Mirrorball," and also the soundtrack to the WB show, "Felicity."
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: This is the fourth story of my series, "Before I Knew You." Might want to read the first three before reading this one, as there are major spoilers for those three, and you might be a bit confused if you don't read those first. The three previous parts are in order as follows: "Building A Mystery," "Posession," and "Elsewhere."
Summary: What was going on with Max and Liz about a month before the shooting?
"You know I don't understand
You deserve so much more than this
And don't tell me why
He's never been good to you
Don't tell me why
He's never been there for you
And I'll tell you why is simply not good enough
So just let me try
And I will be good to you
Just let me try
And I will be there for you
I'll show you why
You're so much more than good enough..."
"Good Enough," Sarah McLachlan
Good Enough
Liz awakened to the sound of her alarm clock radio going off.
"...and this dedication is for a young girl who turns 16 today. Happy birthday, Liz Parker, love Maria and Alex..."
Liz smiled as she sat up and stretched her arms above her head. She threw the blankets off her feet and climbed out of bed, turning the radio up so she could listen to the song her friends had dedicated to her while she took her shower. It was Mariah Carey's, "I'll Be There."
She hurried through her shower, dried her hair, and got dressed in record time. Then she grabbed her bookbag and turned the radio off as she headed downstairs to the Crashdown. She looked for her parents in front, but didn't see them anywhere.
Liz walked back into the kitchen. "Jose!"
Jose, the cook, turned and offered her a wide grin. "Happy birthday!"
She smiled back. "Thank you. Have you seen my parents this morning?"
"Yeah, they left real early. Had to go to Farmington on business for the restaraunt. They said they'd be back this evening."
"Oh." Liz couldn't hide the disappointment in her eyes. "Well, I guess I'll see them tonight then. I'm off to school. Thanks, Jose."
"No problem. Have a good one!" he called after her.
"Okay, so everyone's going to be there at 7. Don't say anything, it's a surprise," Maria told Mary Schaefer, one of she and Liz's friends.
"Got it. I'll be there," Mary confirmed.
"Great!" Maria watched her leave as Alex walked up.
"The party's still on, right?" he asked.
"Yep. Cake is ordered and will be ready by 5, and I'll be decorating from 5:30-6:30. So, your job, sir, is to keep her occupied until 7:15. That way, everyone has a chance to get there."
"Got it, Captain," he said, grinning and saluting her.
"Oh, shh. Here she comes," Maria said quickly, turning the combination lock on her locker.
Liz walked up to them. "Hi, guys."
"Hey, happy birthday!" Maria hugged her.
"Were you listening to the radio this morning?" Alex asked.
Liz smiled. "Yes. And thank you both. That was really sweet."
Alex grinned and gave her a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Happy birthday."
"So, it's Liz's birthday," Michael commented flatly, leaning against the locker next to Max's and watching Liz, Alex, and their cute blond friend Maria DeLuca.
"Yep." Max glanced over at the trio and loaded his books for the first two classes into his bag.
Michael watched them for a few moments. He'd known Liz and Maria since third grade, and Alex since fourth.
Liz was pretty, intelligent, and nice to everyone from what he could tell. Alex was a bit on the odd side. If he wasn't hanging out with Liz and Maria, he was playing around on a computer or playing the guitar. Maria was cute. At first glance, she appeared delicate and weak, with her short pixie haircut framing her face gently, and wide blue eyes, and tiny figure. But Michael knew the girl was anything but weak or delicate.
In grade school, she'd gotten into as many fights as he had. The difference was, he tended to provoke the fights, where as Maria usually jumped into the middle of them to defend one of her many friends.
She'd been cute then, too. Nine years old, with curly blond hair and a temper that even frightened him back then.
It almost made him laugh now. Just then, Maria glanced over at him and smiled. He quickly looked away. "I'm going to class," he told Max. He left before Max could say anything.
"I can't believe you're not going to be at my game," Kyle complained, pulling Liz closer to him.
"I'm sorry, Kyle. Alex and I always go to the movies on my birthday. It's tradition," she said, hurt that her boyfriend didn't remember it was her birthday.
"Oh." Kyle seemed to ignore the information. He stared at her lips and then bent his head to kiss her. He pressed her up against the wall of the janitor's closet, deepening the kiss. Then he broke his lips away from hers and trailed down to her neck, licking the skin there.
Liz supressed a shudder. For some reason, anytime she was with Kyle lately, it just felt really wrong. She couldn't figure out why.
Kyle's hands fumbled with the top button of her white flowered sun dress. Liz pushed his hands away. "Kyle, we have class, remember?"
"We can miss. It's your birthday," he replied, moving his hands back to the top of her dress.
"No, Kyle, I can't. I have a biology lab and I can't leave Max to figure it out on his own."
"Oh, forget him. He's not important."
Yes, he is, she thought instantly, shocking herself.
Kyle moved his hands down, his fingers brushing against her thighs. She jumped at his touch. "Kyle!"
"What's your problem, Liz? We've been going out forever. I just want to give you your birthday present," Kyle said defensively, staring at her.
"I'm not ready for this. I'm sorry," she said firmly.
Kyle sighed in disgust. "You know, there are plenty of other girls in the school who would jump at the chance to go out with me, to be with me the way I want to be with you."
Liz stared at him. "I'm sorry, Kyle," she said again. "But I really have to go now." She moved past him and hurried out the door and down the hall.
Liz rushed into the biology room just as the bell rang. She slipped into her seat next to Max, and was thankful that Ms. Hardy seemed to be running late, too.
Max looked over at her. "Happy birthday," he said with a shy smile.
Liz blinked in surprise, and then smiled back. "Thank you. How did you know it was my birthday?"
A flitter of worry crossed his eyes. "Uh, everyone's talking about it," he said quickly.
"They are?" she asked in confusion.
"How could they not be? I mean, you're the most beauti-smartest girl in school," he said, barely able to cover what he'd almost said.
Liz's face suddenly felt warm. Did Max Evans almost call me beautiful? "Wow, um, thank you, Max," she said quietly.
"You're welcome," he answered, just as quietly. "So, what are you doing to celebrate?"
"Well, Alex is taking me to see a movie after school. Maria can't make it. She has to help her mom with something," she said, hoping she didn't sound half as disappointed as she felt.
"Oh," Max answered. He studied her for a moment. "Liz, you seem kind of upset. Are you okay?"
She swallowed hard, thinking about her encounter with Kyle in the janitor's closet just minutes ago. "Yeah." Well, at least that's what she wanted to say. What she actually said was, "No, not really."
Max looked at her in concern. "What's wrong?"
Her eyes filled with tears. "It's just--a lot of things. My parents went out of town this morning. They didn't even leave me a birthday card or anything. And I'm stressed out, I guess. I mean, have you ever felt like the people in your life are just trying to make you be someone you're not?"
The breath caught in his throat at her words. He felt like that all the time. "Yeah, actually," he said softly.
"Do they pressure you to do things that you don't want to do?"
Max stared at her. "Sometimes, yeah. Liz, is someone harassing you?"
Liz brushed the tears off her cheeks. "Not exactly."
"Do you want to talk about it?" God, he hated to see her cry.
"No," she answered quietly.
Max touched her hand. He ignored the jolt of electricity that shot through him just by touching her. "Are you sure? Cause I'm here if you need to talk or something."
Liz smiled through her tears. "I'm sure." Her smile faded. "So if someone pressured you to do something you weren't ready to do..." her voice trailed off.
Max looked into her eyes. "Then I wouldn't do it," he finished.
She looked up at him. Then she nodded. She knew Max knew what she was talking about, and normally she would have been really embarassed, but this was different. She suddenly realized she never had a memory of being uncomfortable around Max. On the contrary, Liz felt very at ease, and very safe with him.
It was nice.
They turned their attention to Ms. Hardy, who came in then.
When class was over, Max smiled at her. "Well, I hope you have a good birthday," he said shyly.
Liz looked into his beautiful, soulful brown eyes. "Thank you." She smiled back at him, and then left the room, wondering how it was that Max had remembered it was her birthday when her own boyfriend couldn't even do that.
Maria was eating lunch outside, waiting for Liz and Alex to join her, when one of Kyle's football friends, Tommy sat down next to her. "What do you say we go out sometime?"
Maria nearly choked on the bite of chicken salad she'd been eating. "Uh, I don't think so."
"What? Are you too good for me or something?" he demanded, resting his hand on her knee.
She shoved his hand away. "In a word, yes. Now leave me alone."
"That's not very nice," he said gruffly. He slid a hand under her dress.
Maria shot off the bench and leapt to her feet. She slapped him across the face as hard as she could, fuming. "Don't ever touch me again, you jerk!" she spat.
Tommy glared at her and then stepped towards her menacingly. She instantly took a step back.
"Is there a problem here?" a voice asked from behind Tommy. Maria looked past him to see...Michael Guerin standing there. She stared in surprise.
"No, no problem," Tommy replied, not bothering to turn and look at him. "Just having a chat with my girl."
Maria's mouth dropped open. "You wish!"
"Oh, you know you want me," Tommy said, licking his lips and staring at her.
"Yeah, to drop dead," she replied.
He glared at her and took another step forward. Maria stared in shock when Michael stepped forward and grabbed Tommy's arm and jerked him away from her. "I think she wants to be left alone," he warned.
Tommy glared at him. "What's it to you?"
"I don't like guys who pick on girls," Michael responded darkly. "Stay away from her."
"What's going on?" Alex demanded as he walked up to Maria, followed closely by Liz.
"Tommy's being an asshole again," Maria informed them.
"I mean it, leave her alone," Michael warned him again before letting him go. Tommy stormed off angrily. Michael turned to look at Maria. "You okay?"
She nodded mutely, still shocked at who came to her rescue. "Thanks."
"Yeah. Whatever." He turned and walked away.
"What was that about?" Liz asked curiously, looking at Maria.
Maria stared after Michael. "I have no idea."
"Liz, are you all right?" Alex asked as he drove them towards the Crashdown after the movie. "You've been kind of quiet all night."
"I'm okay," she answered softly. She stared out the window, and suddenly wondered what Max was doing at that moment. Then she shook her head. Where did that come from? she wondered.
"It's Kyle, again. Am I right?" Alex asked, glancing over at her.
Liz looked over at him, met his eyes, then sighed as they both faced forward to look out the windshield. "Yeah."
"What did he do this time?"
"Nothing, really. He's just kind of--pressuring me." Liz didn't dare look over at him. Alex all but hated Kyle Valenti as it was.
Alex restrained himself from pulling his car off the road. "He's what?"
She bit her lip. "He's pressuring me a little bit."
"To sleep with him."
"Yeah."
Alex gripped onto the steering wheel tighter. "Liz, you are too good for him." He glanced over at her. "If you're not ready, don't let him force you into it."
"Max said the same thing," she said absently.
"Max?" he repeated with surprise.
"Yeah, you know. Max Evans."
"You told him about this?"
"Not exactly. I was upset and he asked why, and..." her voice trailed off. "Alex, have you ever been with one person and found yourself thinking about someone else?"
He looked over at her again. "You like Max."
"It's just...I've been thinking about this all day, Alex. And ever since the first time I met him, it's like, we had this connection somehow. I realized today that I've never been uncomfortable around him. And now that I think about it, other than you, he's like, the nicest guy at school, you know? I mean, he always tries to help people when they're in trouble or upset." She stared out the window.
"You like him a lot," Alex commented. He thought about it. Max had always seemed like a good guy. And Alex liked him a lot more than he liked Kyle Valenti. "You should go for it. Max is a nice guy."
Liz looked over at him. "I can't do that to Kyle. And besides, you know, he doesn't feel the same way."
"How do you know? Have you asked him?"
"Well, no, of course not. But come on, Alex. He's nice to everyone. No way would Max Evans actually like me."
"Why not?" Alex demanded. "You're pretty, smart, fun to be with, and you don't treat people like crap. Why wouldn't Max like you?"
"Well, he likes me, but not like that. You know, we're just--friends."
"We're just friends, Is. Don't worry," Max said with a sigh as he sat in the corner booth of the Crashdown with his sister and Michael.
Max was stunned when Maria had walked over to him after lunch, after Michael and Isabel had left, and told him she and Alex were throwing Liz a surprise birthday party and that he was invited. "Oh, and tell Michael and Isabel they can come, too," she had added.
Max was even more stunned when they'd agreed to go with him. He had a feeling Isabel was there more to keep an eye on him than anything. He had no clue why Michael had joined them. But then he caught his friend staring at Maria and suddenly it all fell into place. Then he realized that Maria was staring back at Michael. He couldn't help smile.
"When are they supposed to be here?" Isabel asked again in a bored voice, staring down at her perfectly manicured nails.
"Maria said about 7:15," he answered again.
Isabel looked at the alien clock on the wall. "They're late," she commented as the clock turned to 7:16.
Max rolled his eyes. Funny, Isabel never had a problem when it was her who was running late. Which was frequently.
"Here they come!" Maria suddenly shrieked, flipping off the lights. "Everyone be quiet!"
The room fell to dead silence as the door to the Crashdown opened. "Why isn't the Crashdown open?" Liz asked Alex in confusion as she stepped inside.
"I don't know," he replied.
Suddenly the lights came on and about thirty people shouted, "Happy birthday!"
Liz looked around in shock until her gaze landed on Maria. "You!" she laughed, pointing at her. She crossed the room and hugged her. Then she turned to Alex. "And you were in on this, too, weren't you?"
Alex grinned broadly. "Guilty."
Liz hugged him. "Thank you, guys. You are too good to me!"
"You need to go mingle," Maria reminded her. "Alex, I need to talk to you for a minute."
They watched as Liz went off to greet her other guests and Maria pulled him aside. "What's up?" he asked curiously.
"We have a major problem. Liz's parents aren't coming back tonight," Maria whispered.
Alex stared at her. "Damn. This is the third time this has happened in five years!"
"Yeah, I know. She's going to be so crushed," she said miserably.
"What do we do?"
"I was thinking a slumber party might cheer her up," Maria suggested. "It's Friday night, and I don't have to work tomorrow. Neither does Liz. You game?"
Alex looked over at Liz, who was smiling and talking to a group of her friends. "Yeah, I'm up for it." He watched her for a moment. "What's with her parents, anyway? I mean, it's her sixteenth birthday, and they couldn't even be here?"
Maria shrugged. "I know. It sucks. I mean, Liz doesn't deserve this. She's always there whenever they need her."
"Hi, Alex," a voice said from behind them.
He turned. Isabel Evans stood in front of him, and for a moment, he couldn't even speak he was so stunned. He'd had a crush on her since he moved here in fourth grade. "Isabel, hi."
"What's going on?"
"We were just talking about Liz's parents," Alex said, glancing at Maria, and then over at Liz before meeting Isabel's eyes again.
"Oh. What about them?" she asked nonchalantly.
"They're out of town until tomorrow. They didn't leave a card or anything."
Isabel stared at him. "That's awful." She was surprised that she felt so bad for Liz.
"Yeah, this is the third time it's happened in five years," he said. Maria glared at him but he ignored her.
Isabel looked over at Liz, feeling a wave of sympathy wash over her. Poor Liz, she thought. "Well, I'm going to go say hi. I'll catch you later."
"Yeah, okay, later," he echoed.
Isabel walked over to Liz, took a deep breath, and tapped her on the shoulder. Liz turned to face her. Isabel watched as a look of complete surprise came over the girl's face. "Hi, Liz."
"Hi," Liz answered, blinking in surprise.
"I just wanted to say happy birthday," Isabel said, smiling at her. It was a real smile, not one of the fake ones she usually gave people.
Liz smiled back at her. "Thank you, Isabel. That's nice of you."
"Well, I'm not a horrible person. I don't go to someone's birthday party and not wish them a happy birthday." She didn't mean the words to sound as defensive as they'd come out.
A flicker of hurt passed over Liz's eyes. "I didn't mean that you were a horrible person."
Isabel looked away. "Yeah, I know. Sorry."
"Don't worry about it. Um, do you want some cake and ice cream?" Liz offered.
Isabel looked at her. "No, thank you. I'm just going to go back and sit with Max and Michael now."
Max.
Max was here? At her birthday party?
Isabel watched the confusion in Liz's eyes. "Yeah, so, we're just right over there," she said, nodding towards the corner booth in the back.
"Okay." Liz looked over to the table where Max and Michael were. She met Max's eyes for a few seconds and then he looked away. "I'll just--come with you and say hi."
"Great." Isabel led her over to the booth.
Max and Michael both looked up as the girls stood at the table.
"Hi," Liz said shyly, smiling at Max and then at Michael.
"Hey," Max said, gazing at her.
Michael nodded. "Happy birthday."
"Thanks. Um, Michael, thanks for helping Maria out at lunch today," she said.
He looked up at her. "Yeah, well, that guy's a jerk."
"Don't I know it," Liz agreed, rolling her eyes. "He bothers her all the time."
"He does?"
"Constantly. He just can't get it through his head that she doesn't want any part of him."
"Who are we talking about?" Isabel interrupted.
"Tommy Matheson," Liz informed her.
"Ooh, I've always hated that guy. Ever since he beat up Max in fifth grade--" Isabel cut herself off, looking at her brother, whose face turned red.
"Yeah, that's about the point I started hating him, too," Liz said, feeling angry just thinking about it. She didn't realize how that had sounded until she felt Isabel and Michael staring at her. "I just hate it when people pick on other people," she said quickly.
Michael looked over at Maria. "She's okay, right?"
Liz looked over at her, and then back at Michael. "Yeah, she's fine."
"Liz!" Alex called. He waved her over.
"I'll be back in few minutes," Liz told them.
"Actually, we have to leave," Isabel said quickly, grabbing Max's arm and pulling him to his feet. Michael stared at her in surprise.
"Oh, well, thanks for coming," she said, trying to hide her disappointment.
"You're welcome. Happy birthday," Isabel said, heading for the door.
Michael just nodded at her and followed Isabel. Max stood there for a moment, gazing at her. "Well, um, she's driving, so...I'll see you at school Monday."
"Right. Thanks."
Max nodded. "Happy birthday, Liz," he whispered.
Something about the way he looked at her when he said that, the way his voice sounded, made her want to throw herself into his arms. But, of course, she didn't. "Thank you," she whispered back.
"Goodnight."
"Goodnight," she echoed. She watched him leave the Crashdown, and then, with a sigh, she turned to find Maria and Alex again.
"Liz's parents aren't coming back to town until tomorrow," Isabel said in a hushed whisper to Max as they waited for Michael to pull the jeep around front.
"What?"
"They've been gone all day. They didn't even get her a card or anything. Alex said it's the third time it's happened in five years."
Max stared at his sister for a moment and then turned to gaze through the window of the Crashdown. "Does she know?"
"That they're not coming back until tomorrow?"
"Yeah."
"I don't think so." Isabel glanced at her. "You have to do something, Max."
Max looked at her in confusion. "Like what?"
"I don't know. You're like, in love with the girl. Think of something that will cheer her up when she finds out." Isabel ignored the look he was giving her.
"Why do you suddenly care about how Liz feels?"
"Because...Don't you remember back in grade school and junior high, and even last year, how Liz always remembers our birthdays? Even Michael's. She's always made it a point to say happy birthday to us. I just--I think it would be nice if you did something for her."
Max looked through the window at her again. She was talking to Maria and Alex, laughing at something Alex had said. "Yeah. I think you're right."
"So...They're not coming back until tomorrow," Liz repeated slowly as she sunk down onto one of the stools at the counter. The party was over and it was just the three of them left.
Maria exchanged a helpless look with Alex. "But we're going to keep you company. We're going to have a sleepover. Like old times."
"Yeah, it'll be a blast," Alex agreed. "We'll stay up all night, watch movies, binge on popcorn and M&M's and ice cream and make fun of all the jerks at school."
Liz forced herself to smile. "Right." She blinked rapidly to keep herself from crying.
Maria slid an arm around her, and Alex did the same. "We're here, Liz. It's okay to cry," she whispered gently.
She nodded mutely as a tear fell down her cheek. She leaned her head on Alex's shoulder and squeezed Maria's hand as she began to cry.
"Hey, your glass is empty
It's a hell of a long way home
Why don't you let me take you?
It's no good to go alone..."
Alex stroked her hair gently. Damn, he thought. He'd only seen Liz cry a couple of times before, and he hated it. He hated it when his friends were hurting.
"I never would have opened up
But you seemed so real to me
And after all the bullshit I've heard
It's refreshing not to see
That I don't have to pretend
She doesn't expect it from me..."
Maria leaned her head against Liz's and hugged her and Alex at the same time. Whoever said that just because you had both parents, life was actually easier? she wondered.
"So don't tell me I haven't been good to you
Don't tell me I haven't been there for you
Just tell me why nothing is good enough..."
Liz cried harder, holding onto her friends. Why am I not good enough? she thought.
"Hey, little girl would you like some candy?
Your mama said it's okay
The door is open, come on outside
No, I can't come out today
It's not the wind that cracked your shoulder
And threw you to the ground
Who's there that makes you so afraid
You're shaken to the bone?
You know, I don't understand
You deserve so much more than this..."
Max watched the three friends from outside the window, his heart breaking for Liz. God, he wished he could be in there, be the one to comfort her, hold her, take away her hurt.
"So don't tell me why he's never been good to you
Don't tell me why he's never been there for you
And I'll tell you that why is simply not good enough
Oh, so just let me try
And I will be good to you
Just let me try
And I will be there for you
I'll show you why you're so much more
Than good enough..."
About an hour later, Liz was surprised to hear the doorbell ring.
"Want me to get it?" Alex offered, glancing over at her from the couch.
"No, I'll get it," she said, sniffling. She wiped at her eyes with a kleenex and shuffled towards the door. She opened it. Much to her surprise, a guy was standing there, holding a boquet of a dozen white roses and half a dozen helium balloons weighed down by a stuffed teddy bear. She stared.
"You Liz Parker?"
"Yes."
"These are for you." He handed her the roses and balloons. "Sign here, please."
She quickly signed the clipboard. "It's a little late for deliveries, isn't it?"
"Yeah, well, the guy paid me big to get over here before midnight."
"What guy?" Liz asked, staring at him.
"Sorry. Didn't catch his name." He turned to go.
"Wait, is there a card?" she asked hopefully.
"Nope. Sorry. He just said it was for your sixteenth birthday and he hopes it makes you feel better."
Liz stared after him as he left. She carried the flowers and balloons to the other room, still in shock.
"Oh, my God!" Maria exclaimed, staring at the stuff. "Who are those from?"
"I don't know. There's no card. The guy didn't know."
Alex stared. "Since when did people deliver flowers at ten o'clock at night?"
"That's what I asked. He said the guy who ordered them paid him extra to get him here tonight."
"Whoever sent these to you must really care for you," Maria said, sniffing one of the roses.
"Yeah, but who could it be?" she asked in bewilderment. "Kyle?"
Maria snorted. "Yeah. Right."
"Yeah, definitely not Kyle. But who?" Liz wondered.
"They've been delivered, just like you asked," the delivery guy said.
"Thanks. I appreciate it." Max handed him some money in the alley of the Crashdown. "Hey, wait a second. How'd she react?"
"Shocked. Wanted to know who sent them."
"You didn't tell her, did you?" he asked worriedly.
"No. You said not to. Although, if I'd just sent a girl a dozen roses, I'd gladly take credit for it."
"Yeah, well. This is different."
"Suit yourself." The guy headed away.
Max gazed up at the window above the Crashdown. "Happy birthday, Liz," he whispered.
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