Author: Moxie
Email: [email protected]
Going Home (Part 1: Liz)
He's gone. I can't believe he's gone. I don't know what I'm
going to do. I can't remember what my life was like before him. I
think my heart blocked it out a long time ago. I wish it was as
good at blocking out the pain I'm feeling now.
I look up to the moonless night sky. There is a bright flash of
green and a streak across the stars. It lasts for just a second,
then fades away into nothingness. The fanatics are going to have
a field day tomorrow. Will someone out there in the midst of all
those twinkling lights come to know the joy of him as I once did?
I'm glad you found what you were looking for. I hope they
appreciate you.
I knew this day would come. No, wait, that's not true. I never
believed it in my heart. Not really. If I had, I wouldn't have
let myself feel this way about him. I was supposed to be
prepared, but I'm not. You can't prepare yourself for losing the
love of your life. I suppose I'll always have a part of him with
me, but that idea seems so trite and doesn't really make me feel
any better here and now.
It would have been easier for both of us if he didn't love me
too. I know he wanted to stay, but I love him too much to make
him choose. Maybe I could have made him choose me if I'd tried,
or at least I could have made the choice more difficult than it
already was. But how could I stand between him and the answers
he's been searching for all of his life? He already knows what is
here for him. He needs to see what is out there now.
Just because I understand it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.
There's a sound down on the street. I feel an anxious pang,
though I've given up hope of ever seeing him again. I wonder how
long it will be before I stop expecting to see him at every turn.
I try and ignore it, drawing my eyes back to the pages of my
journal. Then I hear it. Someone is definitely calling my name.
"Liz."
It can't be. I must be imagining it. It comes again, more
insistent this time.
"Liz."
Hesitantly, I arise from my chair and go to the edge of the roof.
I close my eyes at first, then open them again slowly. Ever so
gradually he comes into focus, standing there on the sidewalk,
his hands in his pockets, smiling the sweetest smile I've ever
seen. I don't have to ask. I feel a tear escape and trace the
outline of my cheek. Everything's going to be fine.