Author: X_tremeroswellian
Email: [email protected]
Disclaimer: Obviously they are not mine. They belong to Melinda Metz, Jason Katims, the WB...*Sighs* This is just for entertainment so please don't sue me. You wouldn't get much anyway because I'm but a poor college student who can barely afford the insurance on her car. Oh, and the song that is in italics is called, "Full of Grace," which, yes of course, is by Sarah McLachlan and appears on her album, Surfacing (which, btw, is a GREAT album). God, I'm such a huge McLachlan fan!
Rating: R for language, sexual content, adult situations
Spoilers: Possible for the first five books of Melinda Metz's Roswell High, up through "Blood Brothers" of the tv series, and my fic, "Matters of Trust," which this story is the sequal to. If you haven't read "Matters of Trust," you're going to be really lost.
Author's Note: This is going to be really long and will deal with a lot of stuff with Liz. It will, of course, deal with all of the other characters...and I'm a total conventional shipper so...it will have a lot of M/L, some A/I, and M/M...If this isn't your thing, bail out now.
Thanks to Linda, Mel, Bec, and all the other people who have supported and given me feedback on my stories! :) Thanks, guys! :)
Ghosts (Part Six)
Alex was an early riser. He had been for as long as he could remember. He loved to wake up before everyone else and enjoy the peace and quiet and watch the sun rise. Sometimes Liz would wake up early and join him outside. The others tended to sleep late most of the time. Michael and Maria, for instance, had refused to schedule any morning classes. Isabel's first class wasn't until ten, and Max's started at nine.
And unlike most people, Alex tended to be in a good mood, even if it was only five in the morning. Getting up that early refreshed and relaxed him. And there was no better time to get up and enjoy a sunrise than a Saturday morning. So when he had woken up that morning at 5:15, and looked out the window and saw it was pouring down rain, he should have known it was going to be a bad day.
He had gotten up anyway, taken a shower and done some homework so he could spend the day with two of his best friends.
Most people at the university went home on the weekends. There were a few regulars who stayed--the six of them rarely made the six hour journey back to Roswell, for instance. Then of course, a few of the guys in North, who, most of the time didn't even leave their rooms to go to classes, also didn't leave their rooms on the weekends to go home, wherever home was. Then there were people on campus who got roped into staying because of their on-campus jobs. People like Maria. Other than those few, the campus was pretty much deserted by Friday evening.
Alex wondered if Isabel, Max and Michael had made it home okay. It was strange to not have hung out with them last night, or to think about not hanging out with them the coming evening. The six of them were almost always together. They had been since their sophomore year of high school. Not because they were forced to be, but because they needed one another. After everything that had happened with Sheriff Valenti, and the FBI, and then Liz's uncle...They became a family of sorts. Alex didn't want it any other way.
But even though the thought of being without their three "Czechoslovakian" friends was weird, he was kind of looking foward to having some time with just Liz and Maria.
And when he thought about it, he realized he needed some time with them. Maria had been a bit depressed lately because she couldn't figure out what she wanted to do with her life. And Liz...well, Liz had been kind of distant lately. He sensed that something was wrong, but anytime he asked her about it, she denied it. Maybe he could figure it out this weekend.
Alex stretched his arms above his head and looked up at the clock. It was 11:00. He'd have to head over to Liz and Maria's rooms soon. The cafeteria served brunch from 11:15 to noon, and dinner from 4-5, and if you missed a meal, and couldn't afford to order pizza, you were basically screwed for the day.
He stood up, glad that Todd had gone to basketball practice earlier. Todd Reyes was his roommate. He was a nice guy, but Alex just wasn't comfortable with anyone outside his five friends. He didn't fully trust anyone outside their group.
Alex grabbed his keys, locked his door behind him, and marvelled at the dead silence of the usually noisy hallway. Then he shook his head and left Jewell Hall East Lowers. He walked across the lobby, noting how silent it was, and pushed open the door to Jewell Hall West Lowers. Most of the girls had left for the weekend.
Alex reached Liz's door first. He knocked but got no answer. Must be at Maria's, he thought as he moved next door and knocked on it.
"Just a second," he heard Maria call. A second later, she pulled the door open. "Hey, Alex," she said.
"Hey."
"I'll be ready for brunch in a second." She picked up the hair dryer and a brush, brushing her hair as she dried it.
"Have you seen Liz?"
"What?" Maria shouted over the noise of the blow dryer.
"Liz! Have you seen her?"
Maria shook her head. "She's probably in her room."
"I knocked."
"What?"
Alex sighed as Maria turned the machine off. "I knocked. She didn't answer."
Maria frowned. "Try it again."
Alex stepped back into the hallway and walked next door. He knocked on the door, louder tihs time. "Liz?" he called.
A minute later, the door opened. And Alex stared. Liz was wearing an old, baggy grey sweatshirt and a pair of shorts. Half her hair was pulled into a ponytail, and the rest of it hung in limp tangles arond her face, which was at least three shades paler than usual. And her eyes looked...dull. "Liz?"
She blinked. "Hey."
"Are you okay?" he asked in concern.
"I didn't sleep well," she mumbled, yawning.
"Hey, are you ready to go to--" Maria stopped mid-sentence when she saw Liz. Her eyes widened. "Liz!"
"She didn't sleep well," Alex said quickly.
"Do I look that bad?" Liz said aloud, frowning.
"You just...look a little tired," he assured her. "We'll let you get dressed."
"Why don't you guys just...go to brunch without me?" she suggested. She motioned to her room. "I need to clean and do laundry, and I have a psych paper to work on..."
He shook his head. "You need to eat, Liz. It won't take that long."
"You know, I'm just--I'm not really hungry. Go on and go."
Alex and Maria exchanged a look. "Liz," Alex said gently, placing his hands on her shoulders. "We're not going without you. So, I'd suggest you get dressed while DeLuca and I are deciding on a new top ten list for my web site. We'll wait in her room."
Liz offered him a brief smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Okay," she agreed.
Alex stepped out of her room and she closed the door. He turned to look at Maria. "What's going on with her?" he whispered.
"I was hoping you knew. She's been really distant lately."
"So I've noticed." Alex chewed on his lower lip. "Has she said anything to Max?"
Maria shrugged. "I don't think so. Maybe she's just depressed because he left for the weekend."
"I don't think that's it. There's something wrong here, I feel it."
She sighed. "Well, what do we do? Any idea?"
"No," Alex said. "But I'll try and figure it out this afternoon."
But Alex didn't find out. Because after brunch, Liz headed directly back to her room to get some work done.
Alex and Maria exchanged a worried look and seperated as she had gone to work and he had gone back to his room. He contemplated working ahead on his computer programming homework, but he didn't feel like it.
His eyes were drawn to the phone. After several long moments, he gave in and picked up the reciever and dialed a number. He smiled when the voice said, "Hello?"
"Hi," he said softly.
Isabel smiled at the sound of his voice. "Hi," she said back.
"How's Roswell? Did you guys make it back okay?"
"Yeah, we're fine, Alex. And Roswell's the same as ever. It's good to see Mom and Dad, though. And to be somewhere a bit...well, warmer," she said with a laugh.
"I bet. It's raining here."
She heard something in his voice that made her worry. "Alex? What is it?" she asked quietly.
He sighed. "It's Liz. I'm really worried about her."
Isabel waited for him to continue.
"She's been really distant lately. She's not sleeping well and she's just acting...Well, not like herself."
"Have you talked to her?"
"I've tried. She denies anything is wrong." He sighed in frustration. "I want to help her. She's my friend, you know? But I can't help her if she won't talk to me."
"Alex," Isabel said quietly. "We've all been a little worried about Liz lately. You're right. She hasn't been acting like herself, even Max agrees. But I have a feeling if she's going to open up to anyone about...whatever is going on, it's going to be you."
"What makes you say that?"
"Well, think about it. Before we all became friends, you are the only person Liz voluntarily told about what happened to her. So she obviously trusts you. Just give her some time," she advised.
He sighed. "Yeah, I guess," he agreed.
"Crap. Alex, I have to go. Mom's calling. She wants Max and Michael and I to go see a movie with her and Dad," she said apologetically.
"That's okay. Thanks, Is."
"No problem. I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Yeah. I miss you," he said quietly, staring out the window at the rain.
Isabel's heart ached at the sad tone of his voice. "I miss you, too."
"Have fun at the movies and have a safe trip back, okay?"
"We will. Take care of Liz and Maria until we get back," she said softly.
"I will. Tell Max and Michael I said hi."
"All right. 'Bye, Alex."
"'Bye." Alex hung up the phone. He stared out the window for a long moment. Then he stood up and grabbed his keys. It was time to go have a talk with Liz.
"The winter here's cold and bitter
It's chilled us to the bone
We haven't seen the sun for weeks
Too long, too far from home..."
Liz lay in bed, staring up at the bottom of the top bunk, at the plastic stars that were stuck there. She didn't feel like cleaning or doing laundry or writing a paper. In fact, she didn't feel like doing anything at all. Period.
"I feel just like I'm sinking
And I claw for solid ground..."
She heard the knock on the door and pulled herself out of bed with great effort, and walked towards it.
"I'm pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
Oh, darkness, I feel like letting go..."
Liz pulled open the door and then sighed when she saw who it was. "What are you doing here, Pete?"
"Well, it's just that, Tonya went home for the weekend, and I'm bored. So I thought I'd come over and hang out with you," Pete said, smiling.
"Thanks, but I'm really not in the mood for company." She started to close the door, but he stopped her by grabbing onto it. A wave of fear swept through her, and it dawned on her that she could be in real trouble. Maria was at work, and she was the only girl in West Lowers. Even if she screamed, no one would hear her.
"Why do you have to be like this?" he demanded, his eyes flashing.
"Be like what?" she asked, edging herself slowly towards the baseball bat she kept in the corner of her room.
"Stuck up. You think you're better than everyone else?"
"No."
"I'm just trying to be nice, and every time I even talk to you, you act like I'm a killer or something!" he accused, glaring at her.
Liz met his eyes with a steady gaze, keeping her fear under control. "You're going out with Tonya, and I doubt that she'd really want you to be talking to me."
"That's not the reason. I'm not the only one you don't talk to. You won't talk to anyone outside of your little group of friends. What's with that?"
"They're my best friends," she said simply.
"Yeah, well, you're a bunch of freaks, if you ask me."
"Nobody asked you," Alex said evenly, walking up behind him. Liz met his eyes over Pete's shoulders, and they communicated without speaking. "Pete, I think she wants you to leave her alone."
Pete turned to face him, glaring at him. "Who the hell do you people think you are?"
"Pete, leave now, or I'll call campus security," Liz warned, picking up her portable phone.
"She means it," Alex informed him.
"Stupid whore," Pete muttered.
Alex was not a violent person. In fact, the only times he'd ever been involved in fights before was when he was defending himself against the bullies back in junior high. He'd never actually instigated a fight before. But the words Pete muttered, and the stricken look on Liz's face were enough to make him snap. He grabbed Pete and slammed him up against the wall. "Don't you ever say that about her again, you stupid bastard!"
Liz grabbed his arm. "Alex!"
"I mean it. If you ever so much as come near her again, I will make you the sorriest son of a bitch that ever lived!" he said angrily. Pete just stared at him in shock.
"Alex, let him go!" Liz pleaded, increasing her grip on his arm.
Alex let go of Pete, who quickly took off down the hallway. Alex watched him, and then he turned to face Liz, who looked just as stunned as Pete had. "You okay?"
She nodded, still staring at him. "I can't believe you just did that."
The rage was still built up within him. "Yeah, well he deserved it. Nobody talks to my friends that way." He put his arm around her shoulders and followed as she lead him into her dorm room.
"Thanks, Alex," she said softly, sitting down on her bed.
"I'm pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
Oh, darkness, I feel like letting go..."
"Liz, what's going on?" he asked as he listened to the melancholy song.
Her eyes teared up. "I don't know," she said, shaking her head. "I just don't feel right, Alex."
He sat down next to her. "Tell me."
"If all of the strength
And all of the courage
Come and lift me from this place
I know I could love you much better than this..."
"I just...I can't explain it. I just--I'm having the nightmares again." She swallowed hard and looked away.
Alex felt the breath catch in his throat. "About your uncle?"
She nodded and then stood up. "This shouldn't be happening. It was a long time ago. I should be over this by now."
"Liz, what happened to you...You never get over it. And you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Nothing that happened was your fault," he told her quietly.
Liz shook her head. "But why now? I mean, I haven't dreamnt about this for almost four years, Alex. So why is happening again now?"
Alex stood up and touched her arm. "I don't know, Liz. But it's okay. Your uncle can't hurt you anymore. I won't let him. Max and Michael and Isabel and Maria--we're all here for you. We won't let him hurt you again."
She looked up at him. "I know."
He put his arms around her. "Whatever it is that's bringing this up in your subconscious...we'll get through it, Liz. You're not alone."
She leaned her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes. "I know I'm not. But thanks for reminding me."
He kissed the top of her head. "We'll be okay," he whispered, staring out the window at the rain. He thought he saw a figure standing out there, watching. He frowned and squinted to get a better look. But when he did, the figure was gone. Must be my imagination, he thought.