Author: X_tremeroswellian
Email: [email protected]
Disclaimer: Not mine, but how I wish they were...Especially Alex *cough, cough* Okay, on with the show! :) Oh, yeah, and Alyssa is mine.
Rating: R for violence, language and content
Spoilers: Up through "Blood Brothers" of the show, the first five Roswell High books by Melinda Metz, my story, "Matters of Trust," and possibly minor things from my "Before I Knew You" series.
Other Stuff: This is a sequel to my fic, "Matters of Trust," and I would highly suggest you read that before you read this otherwise you'll be really confused. Oh, and feedback is always appreciated.
Dedication: This chapter is for Ash, who has been very patient with me in writing this story! :)
Author's Note: Song is "High Life" by Counting Crows.
Feedback: Yes, pretty please...I'd like to know what you guys think of Alyssa...
Ghosts (Part 12)
Alyssa West sat cross-legged on her bottom bunk, bent over a notebook and her World Religions text book. Her long, straight brown hair hung around her face like a curtain as she highlighted sections so she could write her paper.
After several long moments, she sat up and sighed, stretching her arms above her head. It felt like she'd been working on this paper for five hours.
Alyssa looked at the clock on her beside stand. 7:00 p.m. She had been working on this paper for five hours.
Time for a break, she thought. She pulled herself off her bed and grabbed a can of Pepsi out of her mini-fridge. She popped the top and took a long drink.
Alyssa set the can down and headed for her door, stepping out into the hallway, where someone immediatly bumped into her.
"Sorry, I'm sorry," the girl apologized.
She looked to see who it was. She recognized the girl, but didn't know what her name was. What she did know was that the girl was crying. "It's okay. Are you?" she asked in concern.
The girl nodded. "I'm okay. Thanks."
Alyssa watched as the girl walked down the hall, unlocked a door a few rooms away, and disappeared inside. She paused in the hallway, her eyebrows furrowed. She didn't know the girl, but she had an overwhelming feeling that before the year was over, she would.
Liz pushed her face into her pillow to stifle her sobs. She had just yelled at one of the best friends she'd ever had, and for no real reason. And Max was upset with her now, too.
She had screwed up her friends' lives again. She was lying to them, telling everyone she was fine. She wasn't fine.
How had she gotten here?
Things had been hard when she'd first admitted to her friends that Uncle Charlie had abused her, but her friends had been very supportive. They'd protected her and taken care of her and had given her the strength to take care of herself.
But now...
Now she felt like she was falling apart. She knew she wasn't alone, but it felt like she was.
Liz was afraid every time she looked in the mirror because every time she did she appeared a bit more faded. She was terrified that one of these days she was going to look in the mirror and she wouldn't even be there anymore.
Bit by bit, she was losing herself.
And this time she feared that when she got lost, no one would be able to find her. Not her friends, and not even Max.
"I don't know what's going on with her, Michael." Maria took a book off the roll cart and put it on the shelf in its place. "She's been like a zombie all weekend."
He leaned against one of the shelves, his expression unreadable. "Maybe that Alan guy's been harassing her more than we think."
She turned to look at him, her eyes wide. "Do you think that's it?"
"It's a theory."
"And she's afraid that one of us would kill him." Maria nodded. "That makes sense."
Michael took a deep breath. "I have a feeling that Isabel probably gave Alan a warning tonight."
"Yeah, I had that feeling, too." Maria re-shelved a few books that were in the wrong order.
"I think I'm going to re-inforce that warning."
"Michael--"
"Don't worry. I'm just going to mess with his mind a bit."
"You mean--?"
Michael gaver her his famous half-grin. "He'll just be afraid to go to sleep for awhile, and it'll make him think twice about coming near any of us again. And maybe we'll get our friend back afterwards."
Alyssa tried to force herself to concentrate on writing her World Religion's paper, but something kept pushing at the back of her mind, and she didn't know what it was.
Finally, she shoved aside her text book and notes and slid off her bed and onto the floor. She reached up and turned on her Enya C.D.
She pulled herself into sitting position and closed her eyes. She hadn't been able to meditate all week because she'd been so busy doing homework, writing papers, studying and working, she just hadn't had time. But now she knew she'd reached her mental limitations, and if she didn't restore her balance, she was going to be exhausted.
She took a deep breath and began relaxing the muscles in her tense body. Then she focused on the music. She felt herself releasing the pent-up frustrations she'd been holding inside and she imagined them disappearing into a bright burst of white flames.
Alyssa came out of the meditation smiling, but the second she stood up, her knees buckled and she landed on them, hard. She grimaced and closed her eyes again.
Something wasn't right.
She hoisted herself back up onto her bed and frowned. Waves of sadness began washing over her and she quickly laid down, closing her eyes.
She visualized herself being surrounded by walls of solid blackness, and the sadness bouncing off those walls. And a moment later she sat up, feeling mostly normal again.
"What the hell was that?" she wondered aloud.
Max was staring at the ceiling in his dorm room, staring at the glowing stars that Liz had tacked up there for him, and wondering what the hell was going with his friends.
What had happened this weekend? Why wouldn't they talk to him?
"...Waiting here for you
Wanting to tell you..."
For the past four years, the six of them had been a family. They never kept secrets from one another, not after they'd confronted Liz's uncle Charlie together. Not after they'd leaned on each other, had gone away to college together, out of Roswell where they were safer.
"...How I find myself disappearing too
Just the way you do..."
After everything they had been through together, a crack had formed among the six of them, and it was starting to show. Slowly they were being pulled apart, separating again, back into their own little worlds. After all this time, Max was starting to lose his family.
"...Thought if I told you
You might want to help me to remain with you..."
And he wasn't sure if he had enough glue left to pull them back together again. Just as the thought occurred to him, movement in the room caught his eye, and he sat up, nearly wacking his head on the ceiling.
A very pale Liz Parker was standing across the room, staring at him wide-eyed.
"Liz?" he whispered. When she didn't say anything, he blinked in confusion. How had she gotten in his room without him knowing it? Her mouth was moving, but no sound was coming out of it. Max felt his entire soul fill with dread, and he slid off the top bunk and jumped down to the floor, but when he landed, he looked to where she was standing and realized she was no longer there.
She had disappeared.