Hi Folks! This is my second MiSTing! I took what I could from the first and tried to improve it a bit. This is also my origional story! Please let me know how I did! It's really hard to improve when one doesn't know how one is doing! Translation: SEND FEEDBACK!!!! (Should you feel the need for flame, be warned it will be used on helpless marshmallows! :) ) Oh! And my memory is rather poor when it comes to MiSTing jokes and on more than one occasion I've put down a joke that was used by someone else in an earlier fic. Needless to say I erase those. But like I said my memory is poor so if I miss a few, just let me know and I'll make the nessissary revisions and re-post. Mike stands at the counter with Tom and Crow. They are arguing. MIKE: You seriously expect me to believe that?! TOM: Yes. CROW: Why not? It's possible. MIKE: You guys. Star Wars is *not* real! TOM: Okay Mr. Smartypants then explain to us how George Lucas was able to get all those details and the Force? I mean. Come on... (Suddenly out of no where Joel appears. He hovers in the air for a split second before crashing to the counter. Everyone jumps back in shock. Joel looks up at the bots, then to Mike, and finally to the camera. He slumps down and his face has a "I-don't-believe-this" look.) BOTS: Joel!!! MIKE: Uh, hi. Welcome to the Satilite of Love. I'm Mike Nelson and these are the bots Tom and Crow. JOEL: Joel Hodgson. (he nods in recognition to the Bots. Mike notices.) MIKE: *You're* Joel?! JOEL: 'Fraid so. MIKE: It's a pleasure to finally meet you. (reaches out to shake Joel's hand) JOEL: (a little confused) Yeah, I'm glad to meet the man who's been taking such good care of the bots. (they shake hands) Although I must say I wish the circumstances were a little bit better. TOM: Don't we all. JOEL: Wait! They can't see me here! I'll never get out again! (He looks around wildly for a place to hide.) CROW: Um, er..uh.. MIKE: Quick! Duck under the counter! (shoves Joel down under the counter.) PEARL: (annoyed) What took you so long Nelson? In the bathroom? MIKE: Uh, yeah. TOM: Yeah, you wouldn't believe how many times we had to bang on the door! CROW: (haltingly) Right, it..uh..took him forever in there. PEARL: (skeptically) Okayyy..Well! Anyway, I decided to give you a break today. Instead of a movie I thought I'd send you fanfic. JOEL: (muffled and quiet) What?! (Mike kicks at him.) MIKE: (loudly) Right! So who wrote it? PEARL: (shark smile) It was written by Happy. MIKE: (a look of anguish) Happy?! She wrote another one?! TOM: (depressed) Ohhh, crap. CROW: (sighing) Man... PEARL: (enjoying their responses) Yes, and once again it deals with alternate realities. It's titled "There is an X-Phile (or two) in the Basement Office." BRAINGUY: (walks up.) It's ready. PEARL: Oh, good! (turns back to Mike) Well, I've got to go see if this invention of Brain Guy's is going to work. Enjoy Nelsmoke! JOEL: (stands back up rubbing his arm.) MIKE: Er, sorry about that. JOEL: (with a dismissive gesture) Ah, don't worry. CROW: Ready Joel? JOEL: Huh? TOM: You're going to help us riff aren't you? JOEL: (looks at all of them, they look back expectantly.) Sure, why not? (Door way squence... Um..oh..just pick one!) ****************************************************************************** Disclaimer: What do you mean that they don't belong to me? JOEL: They don't belong to you. Well, I guess that's just the way it goes, you see... For Mulder, Scully, Skinner and the rest, All belong to Chris Carter, I guess. TOM: She's rhyming the disclaimer! CROW: Isn't that against the Geneva convention? And I'd better not forget the folks at Fox Network too, JOEL: Heaven help us, how we've tried! Because I would really rather not get sued. Karen and Sara however, belong to me, CROW: Slave driver. so send me some feedback. Please? (I know it's not a very good rhyme. But I was bored of writing the same old thing.) TOM: Yeah, but everyone wants the same old thing! Rating: PG (more good clean weirdness, one wild imagination and a manditory dead scientist conspiritor.) MIKE: Of course, Can't forget the manditory dead scientist conspiritor! Spoilers: Everything is fair game. It takes place in the 6th season but before the cliffhanger. Mentions made to "Soft Light". Summary: Does anyone remember the book and/or movie. "There is a Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court"? MIKE: I think we're in trouble... Feedback: Would it help if I begged? ALL: No. Pleaseeeeeee? Author's Note: B natural. :) ALL: AHH! Dedication: To all the X-Philes out there who would gladly be in the shoes of Karen and Sara. CROW: Unless of course they're wearing heels. Title: There is an X-Phile (or two) in the Basement Office By: Happy TOM: (singing) Happy, happy, joy, joy! 6:00am... JOEL: Somewhere, someone was getting ready for school. There was a small beeping nosie. Then there was quiet. TOM: As the space probe voyager suddenly runs into an asteriod. **************************************************************************** "Ughhh." groaned Karen rolling over to check her alarm clock. JOEL: (as Karen) Yep, it's still there. Her green eyes widened as they read the digital display: 7:03am. CROW: Suddenly it read "Kill them all." "What the?" asked Karen in dreadful realization. "Oh, crap!" School was going to start in 27 minutes. MIKE: She's right, that *is* bad! Luckily it was only a five minute walk and she didn't have to worry about missing the bus. She grabbed her clothes and ran for the shower. TOM: Why would you have to run *for* the shower? Is it moving or what?! she thought ruefully then grinned. CROW: Ten bucks says she's a shipper. ***************************************************************************** As she quick threw a comb through her wet brown hair she glanced at the clock in the bathroom: 7:20. She hopped Sara wouldn't to wait for her like normal. MIKE: (as Sara) I never leave a woman behind!!!! She squeezed some minty toothpaste onto her toothbrush and began working it furiously around inside her mouth. TOM: Wait, wait! You're going too fast! (mumbles to himself) Minty toothpaste. Okay! Got it! CROW: Help Karen fight plaque and gingivities, buy minty toothpaste! She rinsed her mouth, then dried it on a towel before yanking the bathroom door open and running out. JOEL: That's the problem with kids these days, never taking time out for a good meal. TOM: Since when can you talk on *that* subject?! JOEL: Uh.... TOM: That's what I thought. she thought as she rushed for her room. *WHAM!* Her head spun CROW: That's disturbing... and her vision dimmed. She stumbled as she tried to keep herself upright after hitting the wall. MIKE: (as Sara) What a lousy place for a wall! Finally she sank down to the cool cement floor and sat there for a minute as she tried to stop the world from spinning. MIKE: She's gonna be sitting there for a *long* time. TOM: She must have amazing telekenisis to stop the world! she thought as the world around her came to a halt MIKE: Okay, the world stopped. I want off. CROW: Dar! She looked up. JOEL: ...at the little birds flying in circles around her head. She was in a cool hallway that had cement for it's floors, walls, and even (here she looked up even higher.) TOM: ...a spider in the corner. JOEL&MIKE: AH! WHERE?! the ceiling. Judging by the clutter that was around her she was in some sort of basement. "A frequently used basment," she said noting the lack of dust and cobwebs. CROW: Nancy Drew meets the X-Files. At the far end there was an elevator. "Must be a business building." She stood up, brushed herself off and TOM: ...broke out into song. JOEL: AHHHH! winced as a wave of pain passed through her head. MIKE: She's too young for Aspirin! Glancing around as she headed for the elevator she saw something that almost made her heart stop beating. CROW: So close, but sooo far. There was a door. A regular, everyday door. On the door there was a nameplate. A regular, everyday nameplate. The nameplate read TOM: Puddin' Tame. "Special Agent Fox Mulder" she thought silently she pinched herself. "Ouch!" She looked up at the door. TOM: (scoffs) I'm sure a teenage girl is a threat to their security. CROW: Talk about paranoid. MIKE: Geeze, no kidding! JOEL: (looks at them) Heh. You guys obviously haven't been to earth in a while. At that point the elevator pinged. MIKE: Well, it had tried "Pong" but it couldn't work the knobs. She turned to face the two people who she knew would be coming out of it. JOEL: So not only does she have super powers, she's also psychic. Sure enough the door slid open to reveal none other than David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson. CROW: Ah, yes. The star of the show, and that other person. TOM: Crow! How can you saw that about Gillian?! She's just as much part of the show as David! CROW: (looking at him) David who? They were arguing, and from the sounds of it were "in character". JOEL: Or out of their minds. They didn't notice Karen until they almost ran into her. MIKE: Must be a Monday morning. They stopped and both parties looked at each other. TOM: The Democrats and the Republicans. "Hi," Karen offered weakly "Um, ... MIKE: (as David) Um, er..uh...line! ...hi." said David "Hi," said Gillian In the awakward silence that followed Karen tried to think JOEL: But failed miserably. of a way to get their autographs before she was hauled away by security. CROW: Screaming at the top of her lungs. David and Gillian exchanged a look. One that said. "Who is she?" and "How did she get in here?" Finally David asked. "Who are you?" TOM: What...is your name? CROW: What..is your quest? BOTH: What..is the speed of an unladden swallow? "My name is Karen," she said MIKE: (security officer) Alright Mr. Burns and what is your first name? JOEL: (Homer Simpson playing Mr. Burns) I... don't... know... "How did you get in here?" asked Gillian "I'm not sure," she said MIKE: In the X-Files, honesty is not always the best policy. Gillian's eyes narrowed as she gave, what Karen and Sara had dubbed, "The Look". David just eyed Karen curiously. JOEL: Well, nobody has shifty eyes, so they all must be good guys. "I was running late for school this morning. As I came out of the bathroom I ran into the wall and when my vision cleared I was here." Gillian looked at David her eyes clearly saying "She's nuts." CROW: Meanwhile, her mouth angered at having it's function taken over, decided to look suspiciously about the room. David looked back with an unreadable expression. MIKE: (as a teacher) Your expression is so sloppy! It's unreadable! Turning back to Karen he studied her before finally asking "How's the head?" TOM: How did you know about my shruken head?! Karen, who's headache had actually increased, reached up a hand to feel her forehead. CROW: ...and found out she was a Klingon. MIKE: Let's not go back there. JOEL: Where? TOM: In this case Joel, innocence is bliss. Right there above her right eye was a very large bump. She winced as her hand brushed lightly over it. "Not so good." she admited. "Com'on." he said fishing some keys from his pocket JOEL: But they were too small and he had to throw them back. and unlocking the door. Gillian opened her mouth to say something, but he interupted her. "She requires medical attention." MIKE: As do most people who appear in fanfic. TOM: I don't think he talking about *that* type of medical attention. Gillian gave a dissaproving sigh. "I'll go get some ice." she said and headed back to the elevator. JOEL: Gillian must've gone to the Minnestoa School of Medicine, all they ever do is ice. MIKE: And you know this, how? JOEL: I went to high school in Minnesota. The door swung open and David ushered Karen in. Although she had seen it many times on the show Karen couldn't help but stare over the whole office in wide-eyed amazement. JOEL: Woww....a desk! CROW: Papers! TOM: a stapler! MIKE: (gasping) Scotch tape! ALL: Oooohhhh.... "It's kinda messy," David appologized CROW: He's appologizing for a set piece? "No worse than my room," said Karen as she walked over to study a fuzzy photograph of big foot. David gave a small grin, TOM: Gillian had already taken the large frown so the grin was really all that was left. plopped down in the chair and began to dig through some folders that lay scattered on the desk. JOEL: (as Mulder) Script, script.....ah here it is! Karen took this oprutunity to make a further study of the room. She walked over to the bulliten board and began reading about the latest theories of Extra-Terrestrial contact, TOM: (as Karen) E.T. called collect? What the..?! but something kept bugging her. Somewhere in the back of her mind something kept telling her all was not as it seemed. MIKE: (Karen) I'm just tripping on a concusion, nothing to worry about! ****************************************************************************** Finally Gillian came back. CROW: Back! Back from the great beyond!!!! She walked over to Karen and gave her the ice pack. Karen gingerly set it on the lump. Then Gillian pulled a small penlight from her pocket and looked in her eyes. TOM: Look out! It's a flashy thing! Karen had been to enough doctors to realize that Gillian knew what she was doing and that she would find it less painful if she didn't look directly into the light. TOM: What ever you do! Don't look towards the light!!! She picked the "I Want to Believe" poster and stared at it. Finally Gillian switched off the light and walked over to David. "As far as I can tell..." she began but Karen wasn't listening. JOEL: Boy that Nintendo really cuts down on your attention span. MIKE: Huh? You say something Joel? She had come to a conclusion so bizzare, so...spooky, ALL: (Groan) that she had a tough time accepting it. She took a quick glance at David and Gillian. she thought firmly ALL: What?! CROW: Woah, she lost me! JOEL: So, they were David and Gillian, but now they're Mulder and Scully?! TOM: What'd they do? Spontanously switch bodies? MIKE: I'd look for the birthmark, or tatoo. ALL: Hmm.... It was true. CROW: Was not! There was no other way she could explain it. Her first clue was that "David", had taken her into the office and begun flipping through folders. While "Mulder" might have done that. David most certainly would not. TOM: How would she know? CROW: Entertainment Tonight. He would've called security, and gone to his chair or trailer or...or...something! She didn't know what exactly, but she sure knew he wouldn't stay in character like this. Her second indication was Gillian. Forget "The Look", she knew what Gillian was, an actor. Not a doctor.... JOEL: (Carter) Com'on Gillian, it's only 5 sylibles. MIKE: (as Gillian) Dang it Chris! I'm an actor, not a doctor! "I'll need to run an MRI to be sure, but I think..." She tunned back out. No, Gillian would not talk like that. Her inforcer for all this was the unspoken conversation CROW: Well of course that would've...huh?! in the hallway. She was pretty sure that Gillian and David did not do that on a regular basis, unless they had a joke going. But Mulder and Scully did it all the time, and like a good X-Phile MIKE: That statement is just nauseating! CROW: (in a baby voice) Oh, such a *good* little X-Phile! MIKE: (gags) she had picked up on it. But the Coup-de grace' was that, no matter where she looked. She couldn't find any camera's. TOM: Not too observant is she? MIKE: What? What did the cameras own??? TELL ME! CROW: Uh..Mike? MIKE: Look at the comma! JUST LOOK AT THE COMMA AND TELL ME; WHAT DID THE CAMERAS OWN???? JOEL: (looking at the bots while leaning away from Mike.) Does he do this often? She really should've seen it earlier, but...who in their right mind would automatically assume they were in the X-Files world if this happened? CROW: That depends..how many X-Philes are actually *in* their right minds? JOEL: Well, we know Karen isn't. "Karen!" Mulder's voice cut through her thoughts. TOM: Foreshadowing? Or an obvious plot device? She looked up. Apparently this was not the first time he had called her "Scully wants to take you over to the hospital and run some tests." MIKE: (Mulder) Just some minor *tests*...hee, hee, hee...MWUAHAHA!!! Er..did I say that out loud? his tone indicated he wanted her permission first. Karen nodded as he confirmed her suspicions. TOM: Elvis was still alive! "I want to make sure you're okay, and didn't give yourself a concusion." said Scully sounded like she was speaking to a seven year old. TOM: Okay, now we know she's older than 7. MIKE: I thought we established that fact already. thought Karen. She blinked in an effort to keep away a bout of dizzyness TOM: Since when does *blinking* keep away dizzyness? CROW: Humans sure are a strange species... that was now beginning to follow the waves of pain. JOEL: Surfs up everybody! Scully walked out the door with Karen right behind her. TOM: They must be starting a conga line. ****************************************************************************** When they arived at the hospital Scully took Karen right to the back and gave her MIKE: ...a knuckle sandwhich. an MRI. As she studied it JOEL: ...there was going to be a test on it later. Karen was sent into many different rooms and given so many different tests that she lost track of what they were and what they were testing, aside from the obvious. Her last stop was with a guy who kept showing her pictures TOM: I'll talk! I'll talk! Just no more poke'mon! of inksplotted cards and asking her what they looked like. Her head was still pounding and Karen was begining to get irritated. MIKE: She's had that head-ache now for how long? And she's only *begining* to get irritated?! JOEL: (whistles) Told ya she had super powers! "And this?" the man asked "It's an inkblot." she said crossly TOM: Suddenly it's "Flowers for Algernon". "Yes," he admited "But don't you see the shape it makes?" Karen looked at the inkblot. "No." JOEL: Geeze! Doesn't even know basic shapes?! How did she get out of Kindergarten??? "Doesn't it look like anything? A horse, a car?..." he trailed off hoping she'd pick up on it. MIKE: Apparently, Karen doesn't do improv. Karen grinned to herself and fengined confussion. "No, I can't really see anything. What does it look like to you?" "Well," said the man turning to look at the card "It reminds me of the bugs that keep hitting my windshield whenever I go on vacation. ALL: Ewww... But...." he added hastily "We are here to find out what you think." "What *I* think?" said Karen raising an eyebrow "I think CROW: ...therefor I am. this is a silly test." Before the man could respond Scully walked in holding a cup of water and a tiny cup with two white pills in it. After politely excusing the man TOM: (as Scully) Scram! she handed the water and pills to Karen. "A little something for the headache," said Scully "You're head will be fine and all the other tests came up negetive." Karen swallowed the pills and took another gulp of water. JOEL: Geeze! She's awfully trusting! MIKE: Especially for an X-phile. "And the inkblot test?" she asked "Well," said Scully and Karen could hear the amusment in her voice. CROW: Amusement? Scully?! TOM: Look out Karen! She's a replicant! "You are not the first one I've seen to refuse it, but you *are* the first person I've seen who's turned it around." JOEL: So you put the posion in my glass knowing that I knew that you would never posion yourself, but I knew that and you knew that I knew so the posion couldn't possibly be in my glass! Karen grinned inspite of herself and looked at the clock. 3:30. Her face must've registered MIKE: ...no sale. her surprise because Scully motioned to her. "You can call your parents back at the office." she said TOM: We won't call them from here, because that would be too easy! "It will be long distance." said Karen as her stomach rumbled reminding her that she had yet to eat at all that day. "Where do you live?" asked Scully ALL: DON'T TELL HER! "Connecticut" Whatever Scully thought about that statement she kept it to herself and they drove back to FBI headquarters. JOEL: Nah, she was just too busy cursing the other drivers. ***************************************************************************** When they entered the office Karen went right to the phone and dialed. She wasn't too sure it would work, MIKE: Well sure. I mean, if she didn't it would be one heck of a plot hole! Scully watched as Karen's face took on a look of what she thought to be confusion. She hung up and dialed again. She tried it a few more times before hanging CROW: ...the phone with it's own cord. MIKE: That sounds dark...but I guess it's only an appliance. TOM: (insulted) Mike! up. "I'm sorry," said Karen imitating the operator "Your call can not be completed as dialed. Please hang up and try again." "Did you dial the right number?" asked Mulder JOEL: (as Karen) So *that's* what I was doing wrong! Dar. "Yeah," said Karen "It's 203-856..." "Wait a second," said Scully "856 is the information number they don't use it for regular numbers." thought Karen. MIKE: What?! 555 is the prefix for the information numbers? JOEL: Yeah. Where have you been? MIKE: (looking at him) Up here... "What's your full name and address?" asked Scully "Karen T. Mathews," she began and proceeded to give them everything. Even her Social Security. CROW: Right, how many kids actually *know* their Social Security? Mulder turned to his computer. Booted it MIKE: ...across the room. JOEL: (Mulder muttering) Stupid Windows! up and began a search. After about 5 minutes he turned back and looked at Karen. "According to the U.S. government. There is no Karen T. Mathews." she thought, TOM: Mom and dad never got me a green card. but dispite that she could stop the feeling of loneliness that suddenly enveloped her. "What about Tom Mathews or Darlinee?" she asked CROW: Darlinee? Mulder ran them through and shook his head. At that moment the phone chose to ring. JOEL: Chose? MIKE: Do we have another amendment now? "Freedom of the Phones"? CROW: Give me ring-age or give me dial-tone! TOM: (skeptically) Ring-age? Scully picked it up. She listened for a moment before saying JOEL: (as Scully) No, I don't want another long distance carrier! "Yes, sir." and hanging up. "Skinner wants to speak with us," she said looking at Mulder. "Immediatly." CROW: Um, if this is the 6th season, shouldn't it be Kersh? MIKE: (shrugs) Mulder nodded, stood up, and grabbed his coat. Turning to Karen he said "Just stay here until we get back. JOEL: (as Mulder) And if you see an old man with a cigarette come in here, just ignore him. He does that all the time. Go ahead and try your parents again if you want. TOM: (as Mulder) Even though you don't exsist to the government, and there is absolutely no trace of you anywhere go ahead and try again. Oh..." he reached up on the shelf and grabbed a big and dusty hardbacked book "and feel free to read this if you get bored." Karen looked at the book "The Encyclopedia of the Paranormal and the Unexplained?" she asked. Scully rolled her eyes. CROW: Well, at least we know she'll get better than "snake eyes". OTHERS: (groan). He shrugged. "Unless you want to read "The Medical Journal". And one more thing!" he said as they walked out the door. "Whatever you do. Don't watch the video tapes!!!" Karen waited until they were gone before she permited herself a smile. CROW: Woah! They sure this is PG? (Author's Note: Karen did not watch the tapes, the above sentence was only meant to show she knew what they were and couldn't tell Mulder she knew. When you think about it, it's actually rather funny. MIKE: I only found it mildly ammusing. HAPPY: Quiet. But I forgot most people's brains are in the gutter and I appologize for the misconception.) ****************************************************************************** "Have a seat Agents," said Skinner as Mulder and Scully entered. "Tell me what you think of this Agent Mulder." he said and tossed a file folder across the desk to him. CROW: (as Mulder) Well sir, it appears to be a folder. Mulder picked it up and examined it. A missing person's case. Actually, *many* missing person's cases. (Author moves her tounge around in her mouth as she tries to say that last line and winces at the rather poor grammer.) MIKE: Uh...that was random. He looked up at Skinner. "Looks like we have some missing people." he said Skinner gave him a sour look. TOM: Diahrehha is like a storm raging inside of you... "Yes, I realized that Agent Mulder. Notice anything else?" CROW: (Mulder) Um, your head is shinier than usual? Mulder looked it over again. Four missing people. All in plain sight when they dissapeared. He frowned. In plain sight? "In plain sight?" he asked "According to eyewitnesses they just "vanished." said Skinner. MIKE: (Patrick Stewart) Picard to Enterprise, four to beam up! Mulder handed the report over to Scully. She gave it a coursry glance. JOEL: The thrill was gone. "It says here that all the people seemed to have suffered an injury of sorts before they dissapeared." she skimmed over the second page "All head injuries." A lightbulb went off in Mulder's head. MIKE: Interesting mental image there. He leaned over to get another look at the report. CROW: (laughs) The report...riiight.... Scully handed it back to him. TOM: (as Scully) Mulder, get out of my personal space! Skinner watched as Mulder went over it again, this time more throughly. He could all but see the wheels moving behind Mulder's eyes. MIKE: The wheel may have been moving, but the hampster was most defintely dead! "There doesn't seem to be any connections to any of them," he said at last "Male, age 45. Female, age 30. Female, age 80. Male, age 2. All from different states. All different ethnic groups." he shrugged. "Agent Mulder are you familiar with the Beareu's JOEL: Bearue's? TOM: Winnie-ther-Pooh and Piglet join forces to uncover secret government conspiricies and discover exactly what a heffa-lump is! MIKE: You know, I think I saw a story about that on Gossamer... CROW: You *are* kidding right? MIKE: No actually... policy regarding "Extra Assignments"?" Skinner asked suddenly "I was not aware the Beareu had such a policy, sir." said Mulder. CROW: (as Mulder) Infact, I wasn't aware it even exsisted. TOM: (as Skinner) So, sue me! I misspelled it! CROW: (as Mulder) Twice?! MIKE: (as Scully) It's Eddie Van Blundht! Skinner nodded. JOEL: Woah! This story just took a whole 'nother twist! "I am familiar with it, sir." said Scully Skinner looked at her with a slight gleam in his eye CROW: Now there's an image I could live without. and nodded towards the door. "Thank you agents that will be all." he said and began writing in the file on his desk. As they got up to leave Mulder went to say something about Kersh, but thought better of it. TOM: As the author suddenly remembers what season she's in. When it came to the X-Files, he would rather get one from Skinner than one from Kersh. In fact, he thought, the less he saw of A.D. Kersh the better his days always went. ****************************************************************************** Scully waited until they were in the elevator before she started. CROW: Oh, the places I could go with that! MIKE: But you won't, will you? CROW: (sighs) "As of today we are offically on a week long vacation." she said "We have one week to complete this assignment. We should probably head for the most recent one," she looked in the folder "In JOEL: ...Hawaii. Boston. Of course should the Beareu find out about this, Skinner will deny everything and we will be on our own." "Nothing new there," said Mulder "Why did he give it to us in the first place." MIKE: Mulder's so deadpan right now he can't even make that into a question. "Extra Assignments always come from higher up," said Scully "Skinner is doing a favor for someone." "Yeah," said Mulder "But most people use favors to keep assignments *away* from me." JOEL: (shrugs) Maybe he's dyslexic. "In this case he also doing you a favor." said Scully "Results are the only thing that count in Extra Assignments. When this comes back up all it will say is that you solved it. That's all. No details." "Which also means we have no paperwork," said Mulder TOM: (as Mulder) YAY! CROW: Correction. That should be (deadpan) "yay..." MIKE: (snickers) And there was much rejoicing. "Correct." said Scully "Half of the time these assignments are so difficult that people have stopped caring how it got solved so long as it was solved." "I think it's a little too late for people not to notice how I solve things," he said MIKE: (as Mulder) Heads it's aliens, tails it's government conspiritors. "but if this assignment is half as hard as it looks JOEL: I'm going to be living in the Study Center for the next week. MIKE: Huh? JOEL: College humor, sorry. it will go a long way to rebuilding my rep. with some of the higher ups." "We have to solve it first," said Scully MIKE: She should say "resolve" seeing as they never really "solve" cases. "What about you?" asked Mulder suddenly "How is this going to help you any?" "Well," said Scully taking a deep breath TOM: ...and diving in. "My rep isn't that great right now either. Working on the X-Files hasn't exactly endeared me to any of those so-called higher ups." CROW: With their so-called lives. Mulder nodded, wincing internally. "But," said Scully as the elevator slowed "After what I've seen, that endearment isn't exactly worth striving for." CROW: (as Scully) I mean, I have a set budget when it comes to bribe money! Mulder gave a small nod and they walked out of the elevator to the office. ****************************************************************************** Opening the door to the office Mulder noticed that Karen was sitting at his desk reading the book he had handed her. TOM: The strange part was, she was reading it upside down! She looked up at them as they entered and was about to say something when there was suddenly someone infront of her. The person was laying on the desk and as soon as she appeared CROW: Mulder promptly dissapeared! TOM: (looking at him) And that was funny, how? CROW: I dunno, I just felt we needed another riff in there. promptly rolled off onto the floor bringing pencils, pens, folders and a nameplate with her. "Oof!" she said as she hit. All of the desk objects sprinkling around her onto the floor. ALL: (to "It's Raining Men") It's raining pens! "Sara?!" asked Karen standing up and looking over the desk in wide eyed amazement. "Karen?..." said Sara groggily looking up at her friend. MIKE: ...before promptly passing out. JOEL: (Karen: decisively) I'm calling a taxi. "Mulder?" MIKE: Scully? TOM: Chief? CROW: McCloud? asked Scully from behind him "What's going on?" Mulder, who was still standing in the doorway effectively blocking Scully's view, JOEL: Figures. looked at the new arrival in shock. Finally he made his way into the office with Scully right behind him. Karen meanwhile, had run around the desk and was helping Sara off of the floor. "Karen! Where have you been?!" asked Sara not fully realizing where she was. TOM: (Rod Sterling) She was in a different dimension. A demension not only of people, but of characters. She had entered...The Fanfic Zone. "Your parents have been worried sick!" "I know," said Karen wincing "I haven't exactly been able to reach them..." she motioned to Mulder and Scully "Sara, I would like to introduce you to Special Agents Mulder and Scully. Mulder, Scully, I would like to introduce you to my best friend Sara." Sara's blue eyes went wide and her jaw dropped slightly. TOM: I see she found the "insert-comical-face-here" slot of this fanfic. "Uh, hi." she said. Then she turned to look at Karen in disbelief. Karen shook her head indicating that she should ask about it later. CROW: (Sara) Where *did* you get those shrooms?! "Karen," said Mulder glancing at the clock "It's 5:30. I would suggest that you two go home with Scully tonight and tomarrow we can drive you two home on the way to our assignment." he looked at Scully and she picked it up MIKE: His dependant clause. "Come on," she said motioning towards the door. ***************************************************************************** Scully's Apartment 8:35pm Karen and Sara stood out on the balcony while Scully took a shower. "I can't believe this." said Sara shaking her head CROW: (whining) I don't wanna believe!!!! "Neither can I." said Karen "But here we are." MIKE: Ye-ep. TOM: Uh huh. JOEL: Sure looks like it. "How do we get back?" asked Sara "I have no idea." said Karen "It all reminds me of a Star Trek episode." TOM: [starts humming the theme.] "Except that we can't just jump into a transporter." said #Sara TOM: [theme winds down to a dissapointed end.] "What are we going to do tomarrow?" MIKE: It's only a day away! "You mean when they discover that we don't live where we say we do?" asked Karen JOEL: (Karen) Not that the search of the U.S. government database tipped them off or anything. "I don't know. They would never believe us..." "I don't think even Mulder would believe this one." agreed Sara. CROW: Woah. Actual consideration of the plausibility of an obvious plot device! Never saw that coming! "Let's not forget that we can't say anything about what we know..." said Karen "That's going to be tough," said Sara "Like if Krycek comes along we can't yell "Ratboy"....Yeah, it wouldn't be good for us to create a paradox." "Ratboy?" asked Scully from behind them. They turned around. "What, or who are you talking about?" TOM: The latest edition of The Inquirer? Karen was relieved to learn Scully hadn't heard the first part, or had she? TOM: Tune in next week for the exciting conclusion! Maybe she was seeing how honest they were. "Krychek," said Sara and Karen nearly melted in relief. "Krychek?" said Scully her eyes narrowing MIKE: (Scully) Who the heck is Krychek?!?! "How do you know about him?" JOEL: If she could see the way they spelled his name she wouldn't be so sure. "We just keep our ears open," said Karen shrugging "The grapevine is pretty extensive." ALL: (singing) I heard it through the grape-vine... Scully nodded but her expression didn't change any. Finally she motioned them inside. MIKE: I think it's time for us to motion inside. TOM: I want Joel to carry me! Joel picks up Tom and the exit the theater. (Door sequence) **************************************************************************** Scully's Living Room 11:16pm "Karen?" Sara's whisper from the other couch confirmed Karen's suspicions that her friend also couldn't sleep. She looked at the clock on the VCR. Impressive, Scully had actually set it. MIKE: Now *that's* an X-File! "Yeah?" came Karen's whisper "Do you think we'll ever get home?" asked Sara in a pondering voice. TOM: (Karen) Not really. "Of course," said Karen a bit louder than she wanted to. Both girls were quiet for a moment and Karen watched the CROW: ...colors as they swirled about. shadows on the ceiling move as a car passed down below on the street. It's tires sounding on the wet pavement as it wooshed slowly by. "Why?" MIKE: (Sara) No reason. "Well, it's just that most guest characters on the X-Files rarely live through the whole episode," said Sara and Karen could hear the frown in her voice. CROW: Well if she'd been smiling, we would've been concerned. "Yeah, but Carter doesn't usually kill off kids." said Karen "That's true," said Sara TOM: Not really. "Besides, they already had a tradgedy with you-know-who being wisked away." "Deja'vu." CROW: No kidding. ALL: What?! CROW: Nothing! Just had little deja'vu experience that's all. TOM: What did you see? CROW: You wrote: "Not really." Then you wrote it again. MIKE: Must be a glich in the MiSTing. JOEL: The "Matrix" sketch ladies and gentlemen! "Pfft, really." "So that's why Mulder was so nice to me," said Karen "Sure, it's in his character," whispered back Sara TOM: (opens his mouth, rethinks, then shuts it) A long silence followed as both the girls drifted towards dreamland. JOEL: Not again! That body switching took long enough *last* time! "Sara?" "Mff..yeah?" "11:21" A chuckle sounded from her friend and Karen fell asleep. MIKE: At the chuckle it will be 11:21. ****************************************************************************** The Next Day Basement Office 7:30am Karen and Sara stood in the office showered but still in their same clothes MIKE: Dripping water all over the place. as Mulder and Scully grabbed the nessisary papers and made arrangements for the upcoming case. CROW: The rental car, the motel rooms, the list of people they were going to piss off... "Um, Mulder? Scully?" asked Sara finally They both looked up. TOM: (as Sara) Nothin'. I just like saying "Mulder, Scully". "I don't think you're going to be able to 'drop-us-off-at-home'." she said "Why not?" asked Scully "Well," said Karen "I gave you my address and everything yesterday and you weren't able to find my home. I don't think they are going to be there." she shrugged at loss of how to explain it further without JOEL: Becoming condensending. giving the whole thing away. CROW: Yeah. If they screw up the suprise party again, Maggie is going to have their heads! "Well, it's on our way," said Mulder "If they aren't there I guess you could come with us..." he trailed off as he noticed the expression on Scully's face. TOM: Diarrhea is like a storm raging inside of you. Sara and Karen noticed it. MIKE: They immediately become starry eyed and started quoting strange snippits of dialouge from the show. "Um, Where are your bathrooms?" asked Karen "Turn right down the hall, third door on your left." said Scully "Buddy system." called Mulder but Sara was already following Karen out the door. CROW: I don't think that was for Mulder and Scully's privacy so much as it was instinct... "Mulder what were you thinking?!" asked Scully as soon as she was sure the girls were out of hearing range "Take them on a case?! The Beareu would never allow it!" MIKE: Yes, he would probably growl at them. "They don't have to know," protested Mulder JOEL: It would be kinda hard to keep it hidden from them. CROW: Here! Put on these blindfolds for the next few days! "What are we going to do? Leave them on their own?!" "Considering the way some of our cases go that might be a good idea!" said Scully incredulous MIKE: Yeah, you really don't want to lose your fan-base. TOM: Literally. "You would leave them alone?!?!" responded an equally incredulous Mulder JOEL: Why not? If Cancerman comes poking his nose around they can use their karate skills and save the day! TOM: What karate skills? JOEL: I thought every teenager on tv had karate skills! "I wouldn't leave them alone, but I certainly wouldn't take them with us!" said Scully "Well, what about your mother?" asked Mulder reaching for a third option. "She's out of town." CROW: She ran to the store to get some more. "Your brother?" "Him too," CROW: Geeze, they could've saved time and just asked Maggie to pick up some for him too! Neither of them brought up Mulder's family. TOM: Yeah, bringing people back from the dead never turns out the way you want it to. "They go to school right?" asked Mulder "It would've shown up yesterday if she was enrolled." "Local PD?" asked Scully "We are not leaving them with strangers." said Mulder with a finality Scully rarely heard. She sighed. JOEL: Oh man! I don't even want to think about Mulder with kids! MIKE: Why would he have any? JOEL: (looks at Mike) Buddy, all I can say is: you've got some catching up to do. "Okay," she said resigning "But what if we end up with something like that guy's killer shadow?" "Then they stay at in the car, or at the motel depending on how long we'll be gone." Scully nodded. A few minutes passed in silence before the girls returned from the bathroom. ***************************************************************************** In the air somewhere between Washington DC and Massachustets 10:30am The 747 flew gracefully through the partly cloudy skies as it headed for Boston, MA. In the plane Scully went over the case reports while Mulder took a moment to catch up on his sleep, or at least *appeared* to. Karen listened to one of the 12 radio stations and Sara gazed out the window. A brief bout of turbulence sent two of the reports to the floor. Sara quickly glanced over and bent down to retrieve them while Scully tried to keep the other two from falling. As she did her eyes quickly scanned the pages. She saw, "missing", "head injury", and "vanished". From across the aisle Karen looked over at her friend with a mild curiosity. Scully took the papers and as she was suffling them back into place Sara took the opprotunity to shoot CROW: A rubber band at Mulder's forehead. a warning glance to Karen. Karen gave her a confused look. At that point the pilot came on and TOM: Remembered he was flying an airplane. announced their decent into the Boston airport. ***************************************************************************** A Motel 6 in Boston (they have them there right?) TOM: You know Mike, I'm not so sure about these random comments by the author... MIKE: Yeah, they are pretty strange. JOEL: I guess this would be considered the "director's commentary" form of fanfic. 1:00pm They checked in and left their bags in the rooms. Or rather Mulder and Scully left their bags in the rooms, Sara and Karen just checked in. The first order of business was to find the eyewitnesses and hear what they had to say. They drove up, in their rented Ford Taurus, to a nice quiet suburban home outside the city. "It's always the normal ones," muttered Karen. Sara gave a grin that held little humor but plenty of irony. Mulder and Scully walked up to the door and rang the bell. A rather frazzled woman answered. She quickly ushered them inside and, with a quick glance around the neighborhood, she shut the door. Karen and Sara had nothing to do but wait. Within two minutes the woman came back out and waved to them to come in. Glad to be part of the investigation Karen and Sara wasted no time and went inside. The house was pretty standard as houses go. As Karen gazed around it she could see that it was very lived in and homely. she thought as she looked at all the toddler toys laying about. It was a clean house and at any other time might've had the smell of baking cookies coming from the kitchen. They were ushered to the dinner table, given cookies and juice and left alone. Sara looked at Karen and to their cups of juice. They were little "spill-proof" ones. The cookies were laid out on napkins in front of them. "They're investigating "Missing People"," said Sara finally "What makes it an X-File?" asked Karen "I don't know," said Sara "All I saw was, "Missing", "Head injuries", and "vanished" on the report." "Head injuries?" "Yeah," "Vanished? As in, right in front of people?" "That's what it sounds like." "Does your head hurt?" asked Karen "Not anymore," said Sara "I had a pretty good bump on it yesterday when I fell off my bed..or it was my bed, but somehow I was in the office." "Hmmm..." They each picked up a cookie and ate it. Karen popped the lid off of her cup and took a drink of juice. "Grape," she said Meanwhile in the living room.... "He was playing right there!" said the woman pointing to the toys on the other side of the coffee table. "Then he stood up, but slipped and started to fall. I tried to catch him so he wouldn't hit his head on the table, but he grazed it enough to make him cry. Then he just, vanished! Right from my arms!" she looked around desperatly as if her 2yr old son might suddenly reappear. Mulder and Scully listened with sympathy, but gained little new infromation. Mulder made a few mental notes before saying. "Thank you for your time Mrs. Suwann. Well, let you know immediatly if something turns up." She nodded. At this point Karen and Sara poked their heads in the room having heard the conversation winding to a close. Mulder and Scully stood up and headed towards the door. Karen and Sara followed quickly behind them. Before they left they turned to the woman and thanked her for the cookies and juice. "I gave you spill-proof cups didn't I?" she asked Karen nodded The woman put her hand to her face and drew it slowly over. "I'm so sorry. I'm just.." "It's okay," said Sara quickly and sympathetically "Don't worry about it." They walked out. ****************************************************************************** There was a long silence in the car as they drove back to the city. All four of them mulled over possibilities of how someone might just "vansish". Suddenly Mulder's eyes light up and he glanced in the rear-view mirrior back to Sara and asked "Is your head okay?" "It is now, it hurt a bit yesterday after I hit the floor." He nodded and drove a little faster. "You said Karen's parents were worried sick. Did they file a police report?" he asked "I think so," said Sara "but there was no evidence. She just..." "Vanished," muttered Mulder speeding up some more. "Mulder!" said Scully as the spedometer topped 80. He glanced down and slowed up. They exited into the city, pulled up to a burger joint and got something to eat. CROW: They need their "fix". ****************************************************************************** Motel 6 9:23pm Scully sat at the table in Mulder's room as he explained his latest off-the-wall theory. JOEL: As opposed to his latest grounded-in-science theory? "Mulder that's crazy!" she said "How can a simple head injury cause someone to just dissapear?" "You can't deny the connection!" he said "Coincidence." "You know how I feel about coincidences." "What if the head injury somehow managed to activate a lost portion of the brain and teleports the person away? You know they say we only use 10 percent of your brain." he paced back and forth MIKE: That's because Scully's brain is probably the only one worth using. "Mulder, even if that *were* possible. The head injuries are all different." "Maybe there *is* no connection," he said his brow furrowing. Scully sighed "Yeah, that's about it." "That's the connection!!!" he declared "What?!" "The connection is that there *is* no connection!" "Mulder what was *in* that burger anyway?" "No, the whole thing is completely random," ALL: Well, of course that would...WHAT?!?! Scully nodded slowly with a "that's nice." expression on her face and waited for him to continue. A shrill annoying Motel phone ring stopped him. He walked over and picked it up. Scully watched his face go pale and he suddenly dropped the reciever MIKE: (announcing) Bayer asprin can help reduce your risk of a heart attack. dashing out the door at full speed. Scully got up too quick and nearly rolled her ankle on her heels. TOM: (Scully) Whoops! *thud!* Making a quick little jump step she ignored the pain and grabbed her gun off of the bed. Over the phone she heard a yell and the sound of splintering wood. She ran out the door at full tilt and saw Mulder down the hall just making his way into the girls room after kicking the door in. There was a gunshot as Scully rounded the doorway and dashed in. CROW: Stupidly placing herself between Mulder and the person he was trying to shoot! Mulder stood over a man his gun drawn and held before him in firing position. She yanked her gun out of her holster and pointed it at the floor ready just in case. TOM: In case what? It moved? Bits of glass littered it. Scully turned to find the girls. Karen was over by the phone, which was off the hook, holding the digital clock like she was going to smash it over the guy's head. Sara appeared behind Scully from the direction of the bathroom with the top to the toilet tank. Both drinking glasses had already been smashed. JOEL: They're..um...violent. MIKE: Uh..yeah. "Who are you?!!!" yelled Mulder his eyes flashing. Scully was startled. She couldn't remember ever seeing him this angry. The man only groaned and rolled over onto his stomach. Mulder noticed Scully out of the corner of his eye and quickly reached down for a swift frisk. He yanked a gun out of it's holder and tossed it aside. He rolled the man back over and jerked him into a sitting position. It was then that Scully saw the blood stain that was up by his left shoulder. Meanwhile Karen and Sara hadn't moved from their positions, nor had the let go of their weapons. Scully then walked over to the phone and dialed 9-1-1. She looked back to see Mulder staring at the man's wallet. "Bingo," he breathed "What?" asked Scully then turned to give the emergancy operator their information. "He lives right here in town, and" here Mulder dug out a card "he has his work number." finally he seemed to remember who was there. "Are you guys okay?" "Yeah," said Karen taking a deep breath to slow her heart "We're fine," said Sara also high CROW: I knew it!!! on adrenaline CROW: Oh. "How did he get in here?" "We heard him fiddling with the door. Karen checked it and yelled for me to call you." said Sara "Then she grabbed the drinking glasses and when he opened the door she smashed them as hard as she could over his head." "He just opened the door?" asked Mulder "He must've had a card that was cleared," said Karen "It took him 5 seconds, tops, to get in. Then he shut the door and was advancing slowly reaching for, what I now know, was his gun." "Did he say anything?" "Just that we would be coming with him," said Karen "He went to say more but that was when you came in." Scully hung up. "The ambulance should be here in about 5 minutes." TOM: (as Scully) ER's almost over and it's a very touching and thought provoking episode this week. she said. Mulder walked over to the phone, sat his gun down on the table and dialed the work number. He listened for a moment before pressing "7" on the number pad. Then listened a minute more before hanging up. "I take back everything I ever said about computerized answering services," he said "Let's go!" and strode towards the door. He stopped and turned towards them "I don't know why this guy was after you two, but in light of your situation and this case I'm going to go find out!" He walked out. "Um, don't we have to wait for the ambulance?" asked Sara "Yes we do," said Scully clearly torn. Finally she ran after her partner. After years of being ditched he was finally letting her know where he was going. Was she about to *choose* to stay behind? Nope! The girls stood a moment longer before running out the door after her. Mulder got into the car and waited a moment before he saw Scully and the girls come out. They climbed in and he peeled out of the parking lot. "This man worked for on the otherside of town. He was a security gaurd." The car raced quickly over the darkened landscape as Mulder followed the instructions to "Fielder's Research Laboratory" that were safely tucked inside his photographic memory. ****************************************************************************** Motel 6 Nobody saw the black van that pulled up. And nobody noticed the men in dark suits as the walked inside to gather up their fallen comerade. CROW: Eh Komrade? They picked him up and shoved him into the van before driving out, back to "Fielder's Research Laboratory". ****************************************************************************** Fielder's Research Laboratory 11:48pm They pulled up to the Laboratory which was looking all twisted and scary in the moonlight. TOM: Insert bolt of lightening and clap of thunder here. They walked up to the door. CROW: Start the ominous music! Without bothering to knock Mulder tried the knob. Surprisingly it was not locked. MIKE: Build to a fever pi-...well that was anti-climatic! They walked in. Mulder first Scully second and the girls right behind them. They entered a room with a desk at the far corner. A secretary sat at the desk typing on her computer. To her side was an elevator. The light was harsh and the whole place felt sterile. JOEL: Well, at least we won't have to worry about any evil labratories reproducing in this story. No plants, no furniture. Just a hard metal desk where the secretary sat on a hard metal chair. The floor was some type of tile and even the walls were a stainless steel. Mulder walked up to the secretary. "I'm here to see the doctor," he said hoping this woman was not as bright as the light bulbs in the over head lights. "Dr. Fielder?" she asked not looking up "Yeah, he's on the fifth floor." she went back to her typing as if they weren't there. CROW: Ah...I see she found alt.celebrities.gossip. "Thank you," said Mulder and led everyone to the elevator. They took it to the fifth floor and walked until they found a door with Dr. Fielder written on it. Mulder knocked. "It's open!" called a voice Mulder and Scully exchanged a look. MIKE: One that said "Is this real?" JOEL: and "No more sausage and anchovie pizza's before bedtime." Shrugging Mulder opened the door. The room was huge! TOM: (Glen Manning) I'm huge! It reminded them both of Polarity Magnetics lab where Dr. Banton recieved his "killer shadow". Large computers filled the walls except for in a corner there seemed to be a platform surrounded by a transparent cylinder of what appeared to be a type of plastic, but probably wasn't. There were four stratigically placed... large....ray..guns CROW: As the author's creativity for new and interesting gaggets suddenly grids to a screeching halt. all pointing to the inside of the cylinder. That was the closest Karen and Sara could come to explaining it and Mulder and Scully weren't doing much better. At a large computer councel in the center of the room TOM: The Keyboard and the Mouse were conspiring to have the Monitor removed through a no-confidence vote initiated by the Subwoofer. a short scientist sat and fiddled with the different switches. MIKE: (looney) Heh, heh. *click*, heh. heh. Fun switches! Hearing Scully's heels he turned around, spinning on the small stool in which he was sitting. From the expression on his face it was clear he was expecting someone quite different. "Who are you?" he asked slightly suspicous "I'm Special Agent Fox Mulder from the F.B.I" said Mulder showing his badge "and this is my partner Agent Scully." "Why are you here?" asked the scientist with a rather tired air. "One of your security gaurds was caught trying to kidnap two kids," said Mulder a slight edge to his voice. thought Karen indignantly <....But I guess to him we would be...> The scientist sighed as if expecting the answer. "That idiot" he muttered then looked to the girls "I take it you two are Karen and Sara." thought Karen "How do you know that?" asked Sara too surprised to be suspicious. "There has been a terrible mistake," said the scientist glancing at a clock on a computer. "We don't have much time." "What do you mean?" asked Scully "and how do you know these girls." "I don't suppose any of you have ever watched Star Trek?" he asked hopefully. They all nodded. "Well my friends," he said beaming in a way only a scientist can beam "You are looking at the very first Transdementional Transporter." Even Mulder looked skeptical. "Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction," said the scientist seriously. "Why?" asked Mulder "Do you really think they would rely only on an untested and weak vaccine?" he said with a meaningful glance at Mulder Suddenly everything clicked into place. "They want to get rid of them." he said slowly ignoring the look Scully was giving him. The look that said, "We've actually been able to do this for over a decade, but it was only until recently that we were able to do it without having to have the transporties start or end up in this room." said Fielder as he began to prep the machine. "We've never beamed anyone in from the other place here, but..." "Now you have," finished Mulder "Yes!" said the scientist "And we weren't able to get a positive lock on the girls so I decided to bring them here. Alas my colegues seemed to missunderstand me when I asked them to bring the girls in." "Why do you beam people away but never back?" he asked "What are you talking about?" asked Fielder insulted "I always bring the test subjects back to the place they dissapeared!" "Well, there is at least four people who have just "vanished" and haven't been heard of since," said Scully "Oh, don't worry about that." said Fielder "They're back now. You have my word." Mulder nodded unconvinced. "Wait a second!" said Sara "You plan to beam the aliens to where we live?! You can't do that!!!" Mulder and Scully turned to look at her in shock. "Yeah!" said Karen "You'd be forcing another earth to go through the same fate!" "What are you talking about?" said the scientist "Ever see Sliders?" asked Sara The scientist nodded. "Same thing," said Karen "Hey," said the scientist with a shrug "That's not my problem. It's yours." "That will be enough Mr. Fielder," said a voice from the shadows. "Sir!" said Fielder in a startled voice "I won't have you spilling our precious plans to any Joe Shmo that walks in," said Cancerman stepping out into the light the ever present cigarette in his hand. "But sir," said Fielder with the utmost respect "Why can't we just tell them. Then they will stop trying to hunt it out and will leave you alone." "Because they won't play by the rules," said Cancerman "Niether have you for that matter." He pulled out a gun and shot the scientist before he had a chance to utter a word. Mulder's hand snapped to his gun holster and he cursed. He had forgotten to pick it up after putting it down to dial the phone. Scully, though, had her's and she pointed it at Cancerman and yelled "Federal Agent! Put the gun down!!!" "Now, now Agent Scully." said Cancerman as he slipped the gun away in his coat. "Why don't you just put the gun down so no one will get hurt." At that point an entire swat team came into the room with M-16's drawn. They filled up all usable space in the room. Scully saw immediatly that she was severly out- gunned. One of the men came over and ripped the gun from her hand and put it into a small plastic bag with Mulder's gun. "Ah, it was about time I got a new gun anyway," mumbled Mulder to no one in paticular. The tiny group was led at gunpoint out to the parking lot and placed in a non-discript black minivan which only had a windshield and the required driver passanger side windows. As the group was shoved into the back passanger area a black cloth was hung up to obstruct their view out the front. ****************************************************************************** Over an hour of driving later they were let out at the airport and found their bags all packed waiting for them. Mulder imediatly went to a pay phone and called. "Mrs. Suwann?" he asked "Oh he has?! That's great! Oh, thank you. I'm glad things worked out. Okay, good bye." "Her son returned?" Scully wasn't really asking a question. "Yep," said Mulder "He just reapeared while they were sitting in the living room. Right in the same place he was before he dissapeared." "So what do we do now?" asked Sara "We go back home," said Mulder "What about the lab?" asked Karen "Come on," said Mulder and led them to the departure gate. While they sat and waited they watched CNN on the overhead TV's. "This was just handed to me," said the anchorwoman "It appears that Fielder's Reaserch Lab has been burned to the ground. We go live there right now with Ron. Ron?" The view switched to show "Ron" outside of what had been the lab. "Yes I'm here and as you can see Fielder's Research Lab has been brought to the ground by this blaze." he said indicating the wreckage behind of what had been Fielder's Research Lab. "So far the police are unsure as to what has caused the burn. But we have been told it was possibly faulty wiring in the building. As we all know, Fielder's Research Lab was built back in the 70's so this is a very plausable theory. This is breaking news and we will keep you posted as more evidence and clues turn up. Pam?" The camera went back to the anchorwoman. "Thank you Ron," she said "In case you are just joining us Fielder's Research Lab has been burned to the ground..." "Of course," said Karen looking at Sara. Sara nodded. They boarded the plane for the flight back to D.C. ***************************************************************************** FBI Headquarters the following day 8:30am Mulder sat at his computer and typed up the conclusion on the report. Thankfully he didn't have to explain every itty bitty detail that led up to it. Then he proceeded to fill out the request form for a new guns for him and his parnter. Karen and Sara played a card game while Scully organized the file for it's trip to Skinner. Suddenly Skinner himself walked in the door. "Agent Mulder..." he stopped and looked at Sara and Karen, who stopped playing cards and looked up at him in surprise. "Agent Mulder. Who are these children?" he asked "Sir, I would like you to meet Karen and Sara," said Mulder turning from his computer, standing up and gesturing to each girl as he called thier name. Skinner regarded the girls a moment before asking. "Agent Mulder, what are they doing in here?" "They are here because they are an instrumental part to the case Agent Scully and I are working on." said Mulder "Don't you mean "were" working on?" "If you are refering to the fact that the case is solved. You would be correct." said Mulder "However there are a few things we need to do before it can be considered closed." "You have six days left. I trust that will be enough." "I'm sure it will, sir." said Mulder "Make it so," said Skinner and then he left. Karen and Sara did there best, but neither of them could help cracking a grin as the infamous Captain Picard, Director Skinner joke was brought to the foreground. (Sara (light brown hair, and blue eyes) when they get back from Skinner. Missing people after sustaining a head injury. Mulder goes to say something about Kersh and thinks better of it. Less he sees of him the better. Scully doesn't see Sara appear. Government is messing around with "Teleportation and head injuries are just a way to cover it up in a way where the head injuries would look like the connection even though there really isn't one. "They" have somehow "tapped" into our reality by way of a Transdimentional Transporter". "They" are trying to find a way to send the aliens into another reality away from the X-Fillian Demension. So far it has been a success. The X-Fillian time line only goes when Carter writes another ep. This is an "Unoffical X-File" in that Kersh didn't give it to them, so Carter did not write the ep. therfore it technically doesn't exist. Technically. The "teleportation" has only been tested so far on humans using them as test subjects. People must switch with another person on the "other side" for it to work. Their "TWIN". Someone with the same physical attributes as them. Meaning Mulder's twin would be Duchovny and Scully's twin would be Anderson. Get it? Good. Karen and Sara figure all this out at the end after they return, the twin thing anyway. Mulder goes off on the head injuries for a bit but get's suspicious. Scully talks to a scientist who is top resercher. Why he is willing to talk? I have no clue. Maybe he is just tired of all the lies and cover-ups. He talks to CSM asking why they just can't let M&S in on the deal so Mulder will quit following them around. Scientist is killed and the lab is burned. )