MiSTing of: Paperclip - 3X02 By: Happy email: issaquah@excite.com The characters, plotlines, quotes, etc. included here are owned by Chris Carter and 1013 Productions, all rights reserved. The following transcript is in no way a substitute for the show MIKE: Likewise, this MiSTing... "The X-Files" and is merely meant as a homage. This transcript is not authorized or endorsed by Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, or Fox Entertainment. It was painstakingly typed out by Vic Vega CROW: Carpal-tunnel sufferer. and made available for your personal enjoyment by me, DrWeesh from my website, The X-Files Scripts Archive TOM: Sheesh, talk about malpractice! SCENE 1 (The desert heat blankets the rough surface. Albert Hosteen talks over it.) ALBERT HOSTEEN: To the Navajo, the earth and its creatures have great influence over our existence. (A family of bears walks up a hill as a storm gathers.) TOM: [calling to bears] Quick! Go back home! There's a little girl eating your poridge! The stories passed from generation to generation help us to understand the reason for our MIKE: ...hair loss. tears of sadness and our tears of joy. (Various scenes of desert.) Animals like the bear, the spider and the coyote are powerful symbols to our people. When the F.B.I. man Mulder was cured by the holy people, we were reminded of the story of the Gila monster, TOM: Hey, it sounds like something Godzilla fought. who symbolizes the healing powers of the medicine man. (A storm grows as thunder cracks.) In this myth, the Gila monster restores a man by taking all his parts and putting them back together. CROW: Unfortunately, he didn't do a very good job. MIKE: Hey! His blood is gathered by ants, his eyes and ears by sun, his mind by Talking God and Pollen Boy. TOM: Achoo! CROW: Talking God? Boy that explains a *lot*! MIKE: Is this the pot calling the kettle black, hmmm? Then lightning and thunder bring the man back to life. TOM: [Mushu] I LIIIIVE!!!!! (Lightning blasts into the clouds from the ground, the air crackling with energy. Lightning rockets through the clouds, thunder echoing.) At the end of the ceremony, when the F.B.I. man had been healed, we heard the news from other Native Americans in the northern plains that a great event had taken place. CROW: Hey guys guess what? The government's finally going to pay us for that land we sold them 300 years ago! (A truck drives up a dirt road to a barn. Men get out and run into the barn.) Like the Navajo, these people have their own stories and myths. One of these stories tells of the white buffalo woman who came down from the heavens and taught the Indians how to lead virtuous lives and how to pray to the creator. She told the people she would return one day, then she turned into a white buffalo and ascended into the clouds, never to be seen again. (Inside, people are taking care of a small white buffalo calf.) CROW: [calf] Are you my mother? But on this day, when the holy people had given the F.B.I. man a miracle, a white buffalo was born and every Native American knew, whether he believed the story or not, that this was a powerful omen and that great changes were coming. MIKE: Huh...Must be the commercial break. SCENE 2 MULDER'S APARTMENT (Skinner is sitting on his hands on the couch. Scully sits across from him in a chair, gun aimed directly at her boss. TOM: [Scully] *Now* are you going to give me a raise?! The masking taped "X" is on the window, as well as the bullethole under the center of it.) SKINNER: I've got the digital tape. MIKE: And you can't have it, so there! SCULLY: You're lying. SKINNER: I've got it in my pocket. CROW: Either that or he's just happy to see her. I took it out of Mulder's desk. (Scully hears footsteps approaching and turns to see a shadow covering the light shining under the door. TOM: Don't step in the shadow!!! MIKE: They really like that shadow effect, don't they? Skinner looks back at her and pulls out his gun. She looks back at him quickly and they both have their guns fixed on one another. Neither member of the stand-off is willing to flinch. MIKE: Willing to flinch? No. Willing to stand there for all eternity? Maybe. They stand up. Skinner is very angry, TOM: [Skinner] Dangit Scully! You're making me miss monday night football! Scully looks more frightened than anything else.) MIKE: [Scully: thinking] Crap, and Mulder doesn't have cable tv! Drop your weapon! Put it down, Scully! SCULLY: No way. SKINNER: I said put it down! SCULLY: I said no! You're setting me up! SKINNER: I'm trying to help you. TOM: [Scully] I don't need a date from you! I can get one just fine on my own! ::sobs:: SCULLY: Then put your weapon down and sit down. SKINNER: Not a chance. SCULLY: You said you weren't here to kill me, Skinner, now prove it. SKINNER: I didn't come here to have a gun shoved in my face either. CROW: So let me get this straight. Scully won't put down her weapon because she thinks Skinner was sent to kill her, and Skinner won't put down his weapon because he doesn't like Scully pointing a gun at him. MIKE: [exasperated] We're going to be here forever... SCULLY: Damn it, Skinner! (Mulder kicks down the door to his own apartment TOM: [Mulder] I am *so* macho! Check out what I just did to my...ah crap... and aims his gun at Skinner. Skinner is shocked, CROW: [Skinner] Ow! Quit it. Scully is even moreso. Skinner points his gun at Mulder.) MULDER: Drop your weapon! I said... SKINNER: Back off! MULDER: I said put it down! SKINNER: What the hell is this? What are you pulling here? TOM: An insurance scam. Mulder "dies", Scully collects the money and then they both run away to the Caribean. MULDER: You okay, Scully? SCULLY: Yeah. MULDER: Get his gun. (She reaches out for his gun.) Give her the gun. Give it to her! CROW: [Skinner] If you insist... ALL: *BLAM!* SKINNER: All right. (Faced with no other choice, he hands her the gun. Mulder lowers his weapon.) MULDER: Now, I want an explanation. MIKE: [Mulder] I want to know what fun fruit rollup will they roll out with next! (Scully keeps her gun trained on Skinner.) SCULLY: I was warned that somebody would kill me... someone I trusted. SKINNER: I'm going to reach into my coat pocket and end this charade... all right? (Mulder nods. Skinner pulls out the DAT tape.) I assume you both know what this is? Now, I want an explanation. CROW: [Skinner] I want to know who financed Brittany Spears. I want to know their names, and I want to know their addresses! MULDER: Your cigarette-smoking friend killed my father for that tape, and then he killed me. SKINNER: What are you talking about? MIKE: Actually I want to know what he's been smoking... CROW: Peyote. MULDER: I was a dead man. Now, I'm back. TOM: He's Robo-agent. ALL: ::hum Robocop theme:: SKINNER: What is on this tape? MULDER: Defense department files that weren't supposed to exist. The truth about our government's involvement in a global conspiracy of silence about the existence of MIKE: Lower long distance calling plans? TOM: Comfortable high heels? CROW: Free high speed interenet connections with no banner ads? extraterrestrial life. ALL: [disappointed] Oh. (Scully reaches out for the tape.) SCULLY: Give me the tape. SKINNER: Uh-uh, this tape stays with me. (Mulder cocks his gun and aims it.) MULDER: Give her the tape. SKINNER: If what you say is true, the information on this tape is valuable enough to kill for. Then it's the only leverage we've got to bring these men to justice. It's not going to do us any good if it falls back into their hands! MIKE: [disgusted] Which is why we want the Consortium's patsy to hold it. MULDER: Then you better make sure it doesn't. (He uncocks his gun and lowers it.) Come on, Scully, let's go. SCULLY: Where? TOM: [Mulder] To my...wait...nevermind. MULDER: There are truths out there that aren't on that tape. MIKE: Truths like; where the missing sock in the wash goes. (He walks out. She glares at Skinner, then puts his gun on the desk and walks out. Skinner looks at the tape and puts it in his pocket. CROW: [Skinner] I sure hope they don't find out it's only a blank... Down the hall, Mulder presses the down button for the elevator and looks at Scully, who walks up to him. She stares at him for a second, then looks down, smiling.) CROW: [leans forward a bit] Oohh..here we go! SCULLY: Mulder, I am... CROW: [with anticipation]Yeah....? MIKE: ...pregnant. MULDER: Scully, whatever you're going to say... CROW: [same] Yes...? SCULLY: I went to your father's funeral. I told your mother that you were going to be okay. MULDER: How did you know? (The elevator dings.) SCULLY: I just knew. CROW: [same] And....? (The door opens and Scully walks past him into the elevator. He follows and presses a button. The door closes.) [CROW plops back into his seat with a sigh] CROW: You know, she was so obviously distraught when she thought he was dead, it's the first time she's seen him since then and they give us a scene ending that is so, so.... TOM: So leading? CROW: Yes! MIKE: Crow, you've been spending too much time on the internet. SCENE 3 HOSPITAL (Margaret Scully runs in and goes to the nearest doctor. People are talking and moving.) MAN: If you'd wait there, sir... MARGARET SCULLY: Uh, TOM: ...I'm not a "sir". my daughter was brought here. I'm trying to find her. DOCTOR: Okay, all right, what's her name? MARGARET SCULLY: Scully. Dana Scully. (He stops and looks back CROW: HEY JOE! WE GOT A DANA SCULLY BACK THERE? at her.) DOCTOR: Melissa Scully? MARGARET SCULLY: No, no... that's her sister. MIKE: [Doctor] Vin Scully? TOM: [Maggie] No, that's who she was named after. DOCTOR: Well, we just had a Melissa Scully in surgery with a cranial gunshot wound. (Margaret shakes her head slightly. TOM: [Maggie] Oh, those crazy kids! She runs into her hospital room and sees her lying on the bed, her face taped up and hooked up to a respirator. Margaret's whole body tenses up. A nurse is checking over her charts. MIKE: You do realize we have no idea who's in the bed at this point. CROW: Pronoun over-load in ten seconds! Margaret goes over to Melissa and takes her hand, crying.) MARGARET SCULLY: Missy? It's Mom. DOCTOR: We took drastic precautionary measures due to the nature of the head wound. We've induced coma to try and relieve the trauma on the brain. CROW: [Doctor] We turned on "Ally McBeal". MARGARET SCULLY: Is she going to be okay? DOCTOR: We've done everything we can right now. We'll being monitoring her around the clock. TOM: Oh, I guess that explains the large sundial in the room then. (He looks at her as she tries to stop crying.) Nurse, why don't we get Mrs. Scully a comfortable chair? CROW: [Nurse] Because we don't have any! SCENE 4 THE LONE GUNMEN'S OFFICE; WASHINGTON, D.C. (Langly, Scully, Byers and Mulder are all looking at the consotorium photograph under a magnifying glass. From left to right, the men lined up are the Cigarette-Smoking Man, William Mulder, Victor Klemper, the 1st Elder, Deep Throat, the 3rd Elder, the 2nd Elder and the Well-Manicured Man.) TOM: Ooh..perfect! Now all we need is the firing squad. MULDER: That's my father on the left there. BYERS: This was taken when? MULDER: About 1973. BYERS: Amazing. Langly, take a look. MIKE: [Byers] I found Waldo! (Byers walks around Mulder as Langly walks over to the magnifying glass.) SCULLY: Do you recognize any of these men? BYERS: Are you familiar with a post-World War II project known as Operation Paper Clip? CROW: [Byers] There was a smaller, lesser known project named Operation Staples. MULDER: Our deal with the devil. The U.S. government provided safe haven for certain Nazi war criminals in exchange for their scientific knowledge. TOM: [disgusted] For instance, the heat of combustion for the human body. (Langly points out Klemper.) LANGLY: I know who this man is. Victor Klemper. (Mulder looks through the magnifying glass.) CROW: [Mulder] Scully, look. My eye is huge! BYERS: The man standing next to your father is one of those criminals, though not the most famous of the bunch. Wernher von Braun, designer of the V-2 rockets that leveled London, may be the most notorious, but Victor Klemper certainly takes the prize for the most... evil Nazi to escape the Nuremburg trials. SCULLY: What did he do? LANGLY: He experimented on the Jews... drowned them, suffocated them, put them in pressure chambers. All in the name of science. MIKE: [Langly] So take that Scully, nyah! BYERS: Together with Von Braun, Klemper helped us win the space race. Using his scientific data on the effects of high-altitude flying, we were able to put astronauts on the moon before the Soviets. CROW: [Byers] Course, we really didn't know how to get them back so we sent an Indian up there with them. MIKE: Crow, you do realize that for someone to get that joke they'd either have to have been born before the 1950's or have read "Mankiller". CROW: Hey, I'm an equal opportunity riffer! LANGLY: One giant step for mankind. TOM: You know, the script just doesn't do justice to the dripping scorn and sarcasm Dean put into that line. SCULLY: What would he be doing in a photo with your father? MULDER: I don't know. Do you recognize anybody else in the photograph? TOM: [Langly] That guy in the back. His name is Warren, he used to be a professional street crosser in westerns. (Langly shakes his head.) BYERS: No. Operation Paper Clip was supposed to have been scrapped in the 1950s but if this is 1973... MIKE: It would explain why both the taxes *and* the national deficit keep going up. SCULLY: Whatever happened to Klemper? LANGLY: He's still here, living very well at the expense of the American taxpayer. (The door opens and they turn to see Frohike, who stands in the doorway and looks at Mulder.) TOM: [Frohike] You ate the last double stuffed Oreo!!! FROHIKE: Unbelieveable! We thought you were history. (They hug.) MIKE: Geeze, Frohicke barely reaches his belly-button. MULDER: You're going to have to wait a little longer for my video collection, Frohike. CROW: [Mulder] Er..I mean the video collection that isn't mine. TOM: [Scully] Give it up Mulder. LANGLY: Where were you? We were looking all over. FROHIKE: Down at D.C. general, I was scanning the police frequency when I heard the report of a shooting. CROW: [Frohike] I'm kind of morbid that way. (He takes off his hat and looks at Scully.) Agent Scully... SCULLY: What, what is it? FROHIKE: Your sister's in critical condition. (She looks at Mulder then walks out.) MIKE: Oh like that's anything new. MULDER: Scully... (He follows her down the stairs.) Scully, wait. Scully! Scully, wait! Scully! TOM: [Mulder] Heel, dangit! (He grabs her shoulder and turns her around.) SCULLY: I have to go there, Mulder. MULDER: You can't go. CROW: [Scully: dramatic] But I must, my darling! TOM: [Mulder: bad French accent] No! You can't! For I could not live without jou! CROW: [Scully]But what will Jean-Claude say? TOM: [Mulder] I do not care! You and I, we ver meant to be... MIKE: Okay you two, cut it out. SCULLY: That bullet was meant for me. MULDER: If they're trying to kill you, that's the first place they're going to look. SCULLY: Those bastards... MULDER: We're going to call someone I think can help. It's the only thing you can do for her right now is try to crucify them. MIKE: [Mulder] Revenge. Brutal, uncompromising revenge Scully, it's the only way. SCENE 5 46TH STREET, NEW YORK CITY; 7:09 AM (Cars honk outside. Inside, there is another meeting. The five main members are seated except for the 2nd Elder.) 1ST ELDER: This is a serious mistake. MIKE: [Elder] Somebody lost the cast list with all our names. An innocent woman has been shot. 2ND ELDER: Can this be traced? 3RD ELDER: This is your man. (He looks at the Cigarette-Smoking Man, who is smoking. ALL: [gasp in mock shock)] CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: There was a mistake. It will be rectified. WELL-MANICURED MAN: By whom? By whom will this be rectified? Your ridiculously ineffectual assassins? CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: These men are professionals. WELL-MANICURED MAN: This is not a profession for men who make mistakes. My God, CROW: Well, I guess if you can't have any mistakes he *would* be the only one left... MIKE: Somehow I don't think God would work for the Consortium. you presume to make us believe you can simply fix it with enough bullets? TOM: [CSM] Yes. (The Cigarette-Smoking Man stirs uncomfortably in his chair.) MIKE: Well, he is rarely shaken. BOTS: Groan... CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: No. WELL-MANICURED MAN: This woman... Scully... TOM: [WMM] She intrigues me... I know she believes her partner is still alive. CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: Mulder's dead. I took care of it myself. WELL-MANICURED MAN: And the computer tape containing the stolen files you tell us was recovered... you can show it to us? CROW: Only if you show me yours. (The 2nd Elder leans against the mantle, smoking a cigar.) MIKE: Oh. So his name would be "Sometimes-Smoking-Cigar- Man"! CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: I wasn't aware that my honesty was in question or doubt. CROW: No, just your intelligence. 1ST ELDER: You have the tape? CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: Of course I have it. 2ND ELDER: I think I'd like to see it. 3RD ELDER: So would I. CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: I have vouchsafed it for reasons of security. MIKE: He gave it away as a *gift* for reasons of security?! TOM: [falsetto] Mommy! Mommy! Look what *I* got! (He puts out his cigarette and stands.) I'll have it here for you tomorrow... by which time this whole matter will have been cleared up. (He walks out as the rest of the consotorium watches him go. (Victor Klemper is working on his flowers. His greenhouse is full of beautiful and lavish flowers, all in bloom. CROW: As opposed to lavish flowers not in bloom? MIKE: I guess. The door opens and Mulder and Scully walk in and over to him.) MULDER: Victor Klemper? VICTOR KLEMPER: Yes? MULDER: My name is Fox Mulder, this is Dana Scully. MIKE: [Mulder] We're from the IRS. VICTOR KLEMPER: Your name is Mulder? MULDER: Yes. I think you knew my father. TOM: Prepare to die. VICTOR KLEMPER: What's this about? MIKE: [Mulder] Your 1040 from indicates you have a dependant named "Rosebud". MULDER: When you came to this country, you did some work for our government. VICTOR KLEMPER: I'm an old man now. History bores me. SCULLY: Because it escaped you or because you escaped it? VICTOR KLEMPER: Freud, Salk, Crick, Watson CROW: Franklin, Smith, Carter, Wilson... TOM: WILSON!!! ... these will be the names they celebrate at the end of the millenium. Great scientists. And Klemper? He will be remembered only as a butcher. SCULLY: History may be the only justice you'll ever know. VICTOR KLEMPER: Do you know my work? Do you know what we accomplished? MIKE: You know, you gotta love the way Carter portrays scientists. Poking around at stuff that most people wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole, starved for feedback to the point where they will welcome flaming so long as they can argue why it's not valid. TOM: Oh, kinda like fanfic writers! SCULLY: As a Nazi or for the blood money we paid you? VICTOR KLEMPER: We were young men caught in a fervor but our experiments changed the world. MIKE: [ominously] You know, I think I'm begining to feel a fervor right now... BOTS: Yeah! SCULLY: For a lot of innocent Jews. VICTOR KLEMPER: Progress demands sacrifice, and I... I have confronted my demons. And soon I will die too. MULDER: Like my father. They killed him and I believe you know why. VICTOR KLEMPER: I believe they would kill anyone if it is in the best interest of the work. TOM: I'm sensing a JFK tie-in at any moment here... MULDER: Well, what is this "work" that my father was involved in? VICTOR KLEMPER: I have no answer for you. MULDER: Well, you knew him! Was he a murderer too? (He hands Klemper the photograph.) VICTOR KLEMPER: There are some things you don't have to know. MIKE: How they make hotdogs for one. BOTS: ::shudder:: MULDER: No, I need to know! I need to know the truth! CROW: [A Few Good Men] YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! Isn't that what you want? For the truth to be known? VICTOR KLEMPER: Do you know the formula of Napier's constant? TOM: I wasn't aware constants came as formulas... MIKE: They don't. SCULLY: Yes, why? VICTOR KLEMPER: The photo was taken at the Strughold Mining Company in West Virginia and that is all I will tell you. The rest you can find out yourself. MULDER: Let's go, Scully. (He starts off. She glares at him for a long time, deep contempt in her eyes. He smiles and she feels a little remorse. TOM: [Scully] I don't know why, but I suddenly feel remorse for glaring at this mass murderer. The agents walk out.) SCENE 6 46TH STREET, NEW YORK CITY (An aide picks up the phone as it rings.) AIDE: Hello? CROW: [Aide] Roadkill caffe; you kill it, we grill it. (Klemper says something illegible.) MIKE: He must think he's in a comic book or something. AIDE: Yes, one moment. (He hands the phone to the Well-Manicured Man.) It's for you, sir. WELL-MANICURED MAN: Yes? VICTOR KLEMPER: It's Klemper. TOM: [Klemper] Have you ever considered the advantage of vinyl siding? WELL-MANICURED MAN: Victor... (Cut to Klemper, who is still in his greenhouse.) VICTOR KLEMPER: How are you, old friend? It's been far too many years. CROW: Wow. His voice just dropped two octaves! MIKE: That's why you don't want to burp while speaking. (Cut back to New York.) WELL-MANICURED MAN: What is it, Victor? (Cut to the greenhouse.) VICTOR KLEMPER: Oh, I was just paid a visit by the son of one of our old colleagues. (Cut to the Well-Manicured Man, who is shocked.) WELL-MANICURED MAN: What did you tell him, Victor? VICTOR KLEMPER: I told him that you were the most venal man I've ever met. MIKE: [WMM] Well, thanks I...hey! (Cut to Klemper.) Beyond that, I told him nothing. (Cut to the Well-Manicured Man, who hears a click. He turns off the phone, his face aghast.) WELL-MANICURED MAN: Mulder is alive. CROW: [WMM] The show will go on... TOM: I'd be aghast too. (The room grows quiet.) 1ST ELDER: Then I think it's time we call our friends who will handle this matter more satisfactorily. (He puts his cup of coffee down on the mantle and walks away.) TOM: Who's he gonna call? ALL: Ghostbusters! SCENE 7 HOSPITAL (Margaret watches her daughter lie on the bed with cold eyes full of sorrow. TOM: I'm trying to figure out how you have "cold eyes full of sorrow." MIKE: It..shows her strength as a character. Her unwillingness to be a vicitim, yet her worry and concern over the current situation. TOM: Mike, I know it's Chris Carter, but I think you're reading too much into this... A man walks by outside, looking into the room as he goes. MIKE: [Man] Hi, I'm one of the bad guys. She turns and looks at him. A nurse walks in.) NURSE: Are you expecting any CROW: [southern] Gentlemen callers? visitors? MARGARET SCULLY: Oh, is it Dana? Is Dana here? NURSE: No, it's a man. TOM: At least, we *hope* it's not Dana. He says he was asked to come here. (Albert Hosteen walks in behind her.) ALBERT HOSTEEN: My name is Albert Hosteen. I was asked to come here and help with your daughter. MARGARET SCULLY: There must be some mistake. CROW: [Maggie] We're Catholic. ALBERT HOSTEEN: Is your daughter the F.B.I. woman? MARGARET SCULLY: Dana? TOM: Well, at least her lines weren't hard to remember. CROW: Yeah, everytime someone talks to her all she has to do is ask about Dana. ALBERT HOSTEEN: Yes. She's very sorry she can't come here to comfort you. MARGARET SCULLY: You know where she is? Is she okay? ALBERT HOSTEEN: Yes, I believe so. MIKE: He's one step ahead of Mulder, in any case. (He puts his bag down and walks over to Melissa. Taking her hand, Margaret watches him.) She is weak. MARGARET SCULLY: She's getting better. TOM: No she's not, she'll be stone dead in a moment! She has the best doctors, they're watching her around the clock. ALBERT HOSTEEN: If it's all right, I would like to pray over her here. MIKE: As opposed to taking her off life support, transporting her to Arizona and praying over her there? TOM: Yep. MIKE: Just checking. (Margaret nods slightly.) SCENE 8 RURAL WEST VIRGINIA (Mulder and Scully drive up a dirt road and come to the Strughold Mining Facility. They look at the huge complex built into the mountain. They open the old door and walk inside. Birds fly out of the rafters. MIKE: [Indy] Those aren't birds, they're vampire bats. The door slams behind them as they take in all of the massive complex. They start up the stairs.) SCULLY: What do you think your father would have been doing here? MULDER: I don't know. He never came home wearing a miner's cap. TOM: [Mulder] He did have black lung though... CROW: Well, he hung around CSM enough. SCULLY: Mulder, take a look at this. (Mulder runs down a catwalk ALL: [singing] And I do my little turn on the catwalk... to a floor containing large black high-tech doors. Scully quickly follows.) What do you think? MULDER: I'd like to try door number one, Monty. (He pushes a few numbers into a red keypad on the first keypad. Scully goes to the second door and tries it.) I'm trying two-seven-eight-two-eight, it's not working. SCULLY: It's not working here either. CROW: That's probably because Napier's Constant is 2.71828. (He runs down to the fifth door and tries it, she goes to the fourth.) MULDER: Sure that's the right number? SCULLY: Positive. Napier's constant is the basis of all natural logarithims. MIKE: [Scully] Must not be using enough significant figures. Mulder! Try it out to the 9th decimal place! TOM: [Mulder] But I didn't bring my pocket calculator with me! MULDER: I think with a crowbar and a small nuclear device, I might be able to get through one of these things. (She pushes the access code and the red lights on the keypad turn to green. The door unlatches.) SCULLY: Mulder... (He runs over.) TOM: [Mulder] What? No, wait, hang on a second. TOM: [Mulder] Argg...must you *always* be the voice of reasonable caution?! Whatever we find in here... I don't think you've had time to process everything that you've been through. MULDER: I'm okay, Scully... MIKE: [Mulder] I ate all my breakfast this morning, I don't have a fever and I haven't tried to shoot someone in at *least* 48hrs. SCULLY: You weren't even able to go to your father's funeral and if something in here were to cast doubt on the kind of man he was... I, I just know how it would affect me. (Mulder nods CROW: [Mulder] Thanks Scully, but I'm the one with the dysfunctional family remember? and Scully turns the handle.) SCENE 9 FBI HEADQUARTERS; WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Cigarette-Smoking Man turns the door handle to Skinner's office and walks in. Skinner, sitting at his desk, looks up at him.) CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: You called me. SKINNER: Yes, I did. (He gets up and walks over.) CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: About? CROW: [Skinner] Nothing. I just like calling you. SKINNER: I may have located the digital tape that you're looking for. CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: You may have located it? TOM: [Skinner] We'll we narrowed it down to my teenage son's room... SKINNER: Yes, although there's a great chance it may fall into the hands of people who want to use it for purposes not your own. MIKE: He has a school report coming up... CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: You want to work a deal? Is that what this is? Let me tell you something. I don't work deals. SKINNER: I just thought you should know of certain potentialities. CROW: [Skinner] First off, if it ends up in the dirty clothes hamper it will probably melt. CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: Do you have the tape? SKINNER: As I said, I may have located it. TOM: I said I narrowed it down to the room, have you even seen his room?! You can't ask for more than that! (The Cigarette-Smoking Man literally screams in Skinner's face.) CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: Do you have the damn tape?! MIKE: [Skinner] Do *you* have a tic-tac?! SKINNER: I'll know more when we next meet. CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: I do not negotiate. Do you understand? TOM: Well sure, but isn't unconditional surrender worse? SKINNER: Yes, sir. CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: I don't think you do. I don't think you understand at all. SKINNER: No, I'm quite aware of your policies in those regards. ALL: [great deal of throat clearing] CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: Then I hope your next course of action will be more... cautious and informed. (He takes a drag from his cigarette and walks out.) SCENE 10 RURAL WEST VIRGINIA (Mulder and Scully walk down a long cavern, shining their flashlights as they go.) SCULLY: Mulder, look at this. CROW: [Mulder] It's the Ark of the Covenant. TOM: [Scully] Are you sure? CROW: [Mulder] Pretty sure... (On the walls, she can make out various file cabinets.) It looks like their storing records. MULDER: Of what? (Scully pulls open a drawer and looks at the various folders.) SCULLY: Of medical files, by the look of it. Got names... alphabetized. (Mulder goes to a switch in the wall and flips it. The hallway lights up, revealing thousands upon thousands of file cabinets lined up, ceiling to floor.) MULDER: Lots of files. SCULLY: Lots and lots of files. (He runs back over to her.) MULDER: What's in these files? TOM: [Scully] Names, addresses, phone numbers...Mulder! This is the secret vault where tele-marketers get their information! SCULLY: Standard medical forms. These are birth certificates, small pox vaccination certificate and then there's this. (She points to a small container in a bag that is marked "Sterile, do not tamper." He looks at it.) MULDER: What is this? SCULLY: It's an old tissue collection cassette, the new ones are plastic. MULDER: Do all these files contain the same materials? SCULLY: Yes, exactly. (She puts the file back.) CROW: [Scully] Not that I need to look at more than one file to determine that. MULDER: What year was this person born? SCULLY: 1955. All of these files are 1955. MULDER: What year were you born? SCULLY: 1964, why? MULDER: Let's go find 1964. (They run down the hallway and find 1964. Mulder pulls the drawer open.) SCULLY: You're looking for a file on me? (He finds it and pulls it out.) MULDER: "Dana Katherine Scully." SCULLY: What? CROW: [Mulder] It was the name given to you by your parents when you were born, but that's not important right now. (Scully runs her fingers down the bag with the tissue collection box. The vaccination sheet on her reads: "SMALL POX VACC. No. 29510 Int. Scully, Dana Katherine 3170 W. 53 Road Indianapolis, Maryland") That's a recent tissue sample. What the hell is going on here, Mulder? MULDER: I don't know, Scully. MIKE: I guess it stopped when they stopped vaccinating for small pox, then huh? TOM: Well you know, a conspiracy only lives as long as there's a paranoid conspiracy theorist. (He puts it back and runs down the hallway to another drawer. He pulls it open and pulls out another file.) SCULLY: That's your sister's file. MULDER: Yeah. (He scans down the page.) SCULLY: What are you looking for? MULDER: I don't know. (He looks at the file name, which reads: "SUBJECT NAME: MULDER, Samantha Ann BIRTH DATE: 11/21/65 ID 378671") TOM: I thought her birthdate was Jan. 22, 1964. CROW: And her middle initial was "T" in Conduit! MIKE: And here I thought *I* watched this show too much! Take a look at this, Scully. (He pulls it back to reveal another sticker which reads: "SUBJECT NAME: MULDER, Fox William BIRTH DATE: 10/13/61 ID 292544") This file was originally mine. SCULLY: I don't understand. (The lights turn off and a loud rumbling emanates from outside. Mulder turns on his flashlight.) ALL: [make lightsaber sounds] MULDER: Wait here, Scully. SCULLY: Mulder, where are you going? (Mulder starts off, running quickly past the file cabinets. MIKE: [Mulder] To the bathroom! He opens the door to the main room and a bright light shines through the bottom windows.) Mulder? (She continues to search the area. A hissing sound comes from behind her.) Mulder! TOM: Not unless he's suddenly changed into a snake. (Suddenly, a number of small of alien-shaped organisms run past Scully. The flashlight swings around wildly, the light catching small parts of the alien hybrids. Scully drops her flashlight. She picks it up and starts after them. The light through the windows in front of Mulder rises up to the higher windows as he stands in awe. It keeps gaining height until it is directly in front of Mulder. He runs up the stairs and outside to see a large unidentified flying object moving over him. The light is intense, almost blinding, but Mulder's eyes do not move from the spaceship. TOM: And he suffers severe retinal scarring. It disappears over a ridge. Scully continues down the hallway until she comes to a mining cart rail. At the end of the tunnel, the bright light from the UFO shines through. She sees a small hybrid-shaped silhouette standing at the end of the tunnel. MIKE: [hybrid] Beam me up Scotty! The silhouette grows larger and taller as the light grows stronger. The silhouette is incredibly defined and looks human before the light disappears. A number of black fleet sedans pull up and Mulder spins around to look at them. He quickly runs back inside as men file out of the cars, cocking shotguns.) MAN #1: Come on, let's go! TOM: You know, you just have to love how creative Carter is with the names of his characters! CROW: Well you know, it's just not worth the effort of coming up with names for characters who are either cannon- fodder or are never seen again. (The men runs inside as Mulder runs down stairs. They see each other at the same time and Mulder begins running down the catwalk.) ALL: [singing faster] And I do my little turn on the catwalk. MAN #2: There! (Sparks fly off of the metal bars behind Mulder as they fire at him. The bullets richochet off as Mulder runs down more stairs and keeps going. The men stop firing as Mulder is gone from their field of vision. A few run off in that direction.) MAN #3: Find the woman too. (Mulder speeds across the catwalk and down more stairs. A man fires at him and he crouches on the steps to avoid the fire. He then jumps over the railing and falls to the ground. Grunting, he obtains cover by hiding behind a box. CROW: Apparently made of bullet-proof wood. He makes a break for the door and runs inside as gunfire rattles off behind him. He slams the door shut and the red keypad flashes back on. The men run over and one of them enters the access code. The lights turn green and they fling open the door. Mulder shines his flashlight down the dark tunnel. His voice echoes.) MULDER: Scully! SCULLY: Mulder! (He follows the sound of her voice.) MULDER: Scully! TOM: Marco! CROW: Polo! (The hit squad are gaining on him but begin to get lost in the system of tunnels.) MIKE: Completely forgetting to look for Mulder's beacon of a flashlight beam. SCULLY: Mulder, I'm down here! (She shines her flashlight around wildly and Mulder heads towards it. They meet each other halfway.) MULDER: You okay, Scully? TOM: [Scully] Just had a close encounter, but I'm peachy! SCULLY: I heard gunshots. MULDER: I've been looking for you. CROW: [Scully] Mulder, let me introduce you to a little piece of technology called the "cell phone". SCULLY: What happened to you? MULDER: They got a small army outside. I think they got us trapped. SCULLY: I think there's a way out, down here. (They run in the direction Scully was coming from. Running past more filing cabinets, they find a back door and Mulder slams the door behind them as they run off.) MIKE: So the vault that stores the files for the Conspiracy dating back to the 1950's which would take "a crowbar and a small nuclear device" to get into, has an unlocked wooden back door?! TOM: Sure! How else would they get out? SCENE 11 ROUTE 320A; CRAIGER, MARYLAND (Morning. Skinner pulls up to a local diner and walks in, putting his keys in his pocket. The room is bright and relatively quiet. He sits down at a table against the wall where Mulder and Scully are seated. The two agents have food in front of them.) CROW: [Skinner] How's the Special? SKINNER: This place isn't even on the map. How'd you get here? MULDER: You'd be surprised what's not on the map in this country and what our government will do to keep it that way. SKINNER: How's that? CROW: Triple A. They haven't updated their maps in fifty years! MULDER: Last night, we were chased by some kind of hit squad driving what looked an awful lot like C.I.A. fleet sedans. (Skinner stays silent for a few seconds.) SKINNER: Well, I may be able to negotiate a deal that would guarantee your safety. MIKE: [Skinner] CSM would *never* lie to me. SCULLY: What kind of deal? SKINNER: I'll turn over the digital tape in return for your reinstatement... MULDER: No, sir. I need that tape. I need those files. TOM: [Mulder] I've completely forgotten about my photographic memory! SKINNER: I'm talking about a way to save your lives. MULDER: And I'm talking about an elaborate conspiracy against the American public. Do you know what we found last night? SKINNER: What? SCULLY: An extremely elaborate filing system of medical records. MULDER: Locked inside a mountain vault. SKINNER: For the purpose of? MULDER: I don't know. But the answer's got to be on that tape, in those files. SKINNER: Is that answer worth your lives? MULDER: It's obviously worth killing us for. TOM: Yeah, but wouldn't CSM kill someone to keep the Bills from winning a Super Bowl? SKINNER: In your wildest dreams, what do you possibly hope to find, Agent Mulder? TOM: I'll take "The Obvious" for $400 please Alex. MULDER: Why they killed my father... and what happened to my sister... and what they did to Agent Scully. SCULLY: I think we should let him make the deal, Mulder. (He looks at her in shock.) MIKE: [Mulder] Who are you, and what have you done with my partner? Look... those answers mean nothing if we're going to be hunted down like animals. We are operating so far outside of the law right now, we've given up on the very notion of justice. We've turned ourselves into outsiders. CROW: Just now?! Scully's not too observant is she? We have lost our access and our protection. TOM: Actually just your access. MULDER: What makes you think there's any such thing as justice, Scully? SCULLY: Then what good are those answers to anybody but you, Mulder? MULDER: What we found last night... MIKE: [Mulder] Just 'cause I'm a self-centered doesn't mean I haven't thought some of this out Scully. SCULLY: Look, I want exactly what you want. CROW: [Mulder] *Do* you now? MIKE: Hey! But I need to see my sister. (They stare at each other for a few seconds until Scully looks away. Mulder looks at Skinner.) MULDER: I suppose you already tried to make a backup of the tape. SKINNER: Whoever downloaded those files put a copy protector on them. I couldn't get a hard copy to print either. CROW: Apparently, he's lived so long in a world of technology that he's forgotten about transcription. MULDER: What makes you think they'll even honor this deal? SKINNER: Because, if they don't... I'll go state's evidence and testify... or they'll have to kill me too. TOM: Well gee, I'm convinced! (Mulder looks back at Scully and stares at her for a second.) MULDER: It's up to you, Scully. (He gets up and leaves. A short time later, Scully and Skinner walk out. Mulder is standing near the doorway and Scully goes to him. Skinner gets in his car.) SCULLY: I told Skinner to make the deal. But not to hand over the tape until you agree to it. MULDER: I'm sorry about your sister, Scully. SCULLY: I just need to know if she's going to be okay. (The car engine starts. Scully gets in the back seat and Mulder gets in the front. TOM: [Scully] Home Fox. They drive off.) (Melissa lays in her hospital bed, machines beeping. Albert talks over the scene as Margaret sleeps in an adjacent chair.) ALBERT HOSTEEN: For two days, I had prayed for the F.B.I. woman's sister. Her doctor said she was getting better MIKE: (Doctor) Oops. Got the chart upside down. and her mother, who would not leave her bedside, was able to sleep. (Albert walks in and takes Melissa's hand.) But word had come from my brothers in the north that did not give me hope. (Cut to the ranch where the white buffalo was born. The white buffalo is sleeping under a bench. Some men walk over, one carrying a bottle, and the calf stands.) The white buffalo calf had survived, but after a day, it would no longer drink its mother's milk. (The calf refuses to drink from the bottle, despite the man's efforts. CROW: (calf) You're not my mother! The man says something in Navajo. In the back, men are tending to the mother buffalo, who is on the ground.) On the third day, the mother buffalo laid down in her stall and would not get up. They said the men could do nothing for her. That night, she died. (Cut back to the hospital, where Albert is sitting and holding Melissa's hand. He continues to talk over the scene.) My father taught me when I was a boy that this is how life is. CROW: (Father) Yeah, it sucks doesn't it? That for something to live, another thing must often be sacrificed. This was my fear now for the young woman. (Skinner walks in and looks at Hosteen, then at Margaret Scully, who is sleeping while sitting in a seat with sheets draped over her lap.) TOM: Oh! She did some cross-stitching while she was there. SKINNER: I'm here to see Melissa Scully. (Margaret stirs and looks at him. MIKE: Well, she usually isn't shaken much either. Albert stands and Skinner takes out his badge.) My name is Walter Skinner. I'm an assistant director at the F.B.I. (Margaret folds up the magazine that was on her lap. Skinner walks over, staring CROW: Probably wondering how she made the sheet dissapear. at Albert for a little while, then looking at Margaret.) I'm very sorry about your daughter. Dana asked me to come here to deliver a message. MARGARET SCULLY: You've been in contact with her? MIKE: (Skinner) Well, I was pointing a gun at her in the begining of the episode. Does that count? SKINNER: Yes. (She stands.) MARGARET SCULLY: Well, I want to know where she is and if she's okay. SKINNER: She's okay, but she's in a very serious situation which prevents her from being here. MARGARET SCULLY: What kind of situation? CROW: A serious one, weren't you listening? SKINNER: One that we hope to reverse so that Dana can come back to work. TOM: (Skinner) I mean, she doesn't have a social life and she never sees her family even when she *isn't* on the run... (The strange man from before walks by the room again, glancing in. They all turn and look at him.) MIKE: These Consortium lacky's are lousy! TOM: Well, this guy failed "Lurking 101" so he was busted down to stalking immobile targets. ALBERT HOSTEEN: That man you just saw, he's been very curious about this room. (Skinner walks out into the hallway and watches the man go. He walks back over to Albert.) SKINNER: Who are you? ALBERT HOSTEEN: My name is Albert Hosteen. I was asked to come here. SKINNER: All right, Albert. Do not leave this room. Do you understand? TOM: (Albert) Yes, I'm supposed to leave this room. CROW: (Skinner) No, you *aren't* supposed to leave this room! TOM: (Albert) Gotcha, *you* aren't supposed to leave this room. CROW: (Skinner) Arghhh! ALBERT HOSTEEN: Yes. (Skinner looks at Margaret then walks out. He walks quickly down the hallway and hears a door open to his left. He goes in and finds himself in a stairwell. He runs up the stairs and checks the next door. The door opens in his face, knocking him backwards. CROW: (Bad Guy) Avon calling! The strange man comes in and points a gun at him, but Skinner grabs his wrist and turns it quickly, then elbows him twice in the face. A second man runs up behind Skinner and starts choking him with a wire. TOM: (Second Man) Put *me* on hold for 15 minutes! Why I'm gonna... He pulls him back to the wall as Krycek jumps down the stairs and punches Skinner with a hard right cross. He does it again, then punches him in the gut. Skinner groans with each blow. Krycek seems to be thoroughly enjoying it. MIKE: Just another example of escalating violence in the work place. He reaches into Skinner's coat pocket and takes out the digital tape. He puts it in his pocket and then reaches back, preparing to hit him one last time. He smashes Skinner across the face and Skinner slumps down to the ground. Krycek tries to shake the feeling back into his hand and Skinner's attackers all split off in different directions. Skinner lays on the floor, unconscious.) MIKE: I thought this guy was supposed to be an ex-marine... BOTS: (shrug) SCENE 12 SOUTHEAST WASHINGTON, D.C. (Krycek and his band of cohorts drive down the road and pull up to the Greenwich Inn. The Hispanic Man gets out of the driver's seat and walks into the store. The second man is sitting in the back seat.) 2ND MAN: I could use a beer. Do you want anything? CROW: (Krycek) Yeah, can you pick me up some Hostess? KRYCEK: No. 2ND MAN: You sure? KRYCEK: Yeah. (The second man gets out and walks to the store, looking back over his shoulder at the car briefly. Krycek watches him and grows tense. He looks AT THE CAR CLOCK AS IT BLINKS 12:00. His face goes blank in realization MIKE: He'd forgotten to set the VCR to tape "The Young and the Restless." and he runs out of the car as fast as he can. The car literally shoots a fireball into the air as it explodes, TOM: As opposed to figuratively? knocking Krycek off his feet from twenty yards. He looks back briefly and keeps running as the car continues to burn. Krycek's ex-cohorts watch him run, knowing that they failed their mission.) (Mulder and Scully run into the greenhouse, searching around. Thunder rumbles outside.) MULDER: Mister Klemper? Mister Klemper? (He looks down another aisle and goes back to the one he came through. CROW: Face it guys, he's fertilizer. The Well-Manicured Man walks towards them.) WELL-MANICURED MAN: Hello again, young lady. SCULLY: Where's Victor Klemper? WELL-MANICURED MAN: Oh, poor Klemper. They found him yesterday, here among his flowers. Apparently, his heart had given out. MULDER: You killed him, didn't you? (The Well-Manicured Man offers no response. Mulder holds up the photograph.) You're one of the men in this photo. You knew my father. WELL-MANICURED MAN: Yes. Since we were young men. MIKE: (WMM) We used to play Polo together. MULDER: You were involved in this project. You know why the medical data was being collected. WELL-MANICURED MAN: Yes, I do, indeed. In 1947, a spacecraft was reportedly recovered in New Mexico. No doubt you know of this CROW: (Mulder) No I've never heard about it. and of the reported recovery of a body at the site. These incidents not only coincided with the end of World War II, but an ignominious project which brought Nazi scientists and war criminals to this country to exploit their knowledge. SCULLY: Operation Paper Clip. WELL-MANICURED MAN: Yes, you know of it already. And you must also know the work of Doctor Joseph Mengele, the Nazi angel of death. SCULLY: Mengele thought that he could produce a super-race through genetic engineering. WELL-MANICURED MAN: As did many of his colleagues at the Institute of Hereditary Biology and Racial Hygiene. CROW: Racial Hygiene? Great, just what the market needs. Racially specialized Mary Kay products! SCULLY: Like Victor Klemper? WELL-MANICURED MAN: Poor Victor. He loved his orchids. Did you know that he was able to create some of the most beautiful hybrids? MULDER: Klemper was trying to create an alien-human hybrid. That's what I saw in the boxcar. He was using human test subjects. SCULLY: Mulder, wait. MULDER: My father was involved in this? SCULLY: The technology wasn't there, Mulder. DNA wasn't even identified until 1944. This is all a lie. TOM: (Scully) I won't even consider the possibility that the military would delay the presentation of a medical breakthrough! WELL-MANICURED MAN: When your father realized what the medical data was being used for, he objected strenuously. MULDER: He collected those files? MIKE: (WMM) All 1.5 billion, yep. TOM: Are you sure about that number Mike? MIKE: No Tom, I don't keep a running tally of the population of the United States. WELL-MANICURED MAN: With the threat of nuclear holocaust in the 1950s, the government instructed men like your father to gather genetic data on the general populous for the purpose of post-apocalyptic identification. MULDER: The vaccination records. They took tissue from everyone who received a small pox inoculation. WELL-MANICURED MAN: Hundreds of millions of Americans. MULDER: So that Victor Klemper had access to a DNA database of nearly everyone who was born since 1950. CROW: Except that they stopped vaccinating around the 1980's so it's really only about a 30 year time-span!!! MIKE: Well, "everyone born since 1950" sounds more sinister. SCULLY: Mulder, this man is telling you everything that you want to hear but it's a fabrication, it is pure science fiction. There were no experiments with aliens. WELL-MANICURED MAN: Why would I lie to you? SCULLY: Like you said before, to protect yourself and the continuation of the Nazi agenda... human tests. MULDER: Why was your file there, Scully? (She looks back at him in shock that Mulder is going against her on this issue.) TOM: Wha...?! Why would she be surpised? This is *Mulder* we're talking about here! SCULLY: I don't know. MULDER: There were current records on file. TOM: I suppose if you think the 1960's is current. CROW: Mulder's getting old... SCULLY: Yes, but records of what, Mulder? MULDER: Of abductions! Of abductees. MIKE: (Scully) I prefer the term "Experiencer". (She glares at him and storms off.) They took my sister. Why? WELL-MANICURED MAN: They took her as insurance because your father threatened to expose the project. MULDER: Why her? Why not me? WELL-MANICURED MAN: It's not for me to say but your life in danger now too. You also threaten to expose the project. You have become your father. TOM: (Mulder) TAKE IT BACK!!!! MULDER: Why are you telling me this? WELL-MANICURED MAN: It's what you want to know... isn't it? (He starts off.) MULDER: Is there more? (The Well-Manicured Man looks back at him.) WELL-MANICURED MAN: More than you'll ever know. (He walks off.) CROW: (WMM) I just love messing with their heads! SCENE 13 46th STREET; NEW YORK CITY (The phone rings and the aide picks it up.) AIDE: Yes? KRYCEK: Can I talk to him? AIDE: Yes, he's just arrived. One moment, please. (He extends the phone to the Cigarette-Smoking Man.) You have a call, sir. CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: Thank you. (The Cigarette-Smoking Man takes the phone. Cut to Krycek, who is standing at a payphone.) Hello? KRYCEK: I'm alive. (Cut back to the Cigarette-Smoking Man, who tries to hide his shock in front of his peers and superiors. Cut back to Krycek.) Isn't that a surprise? (Cut back to the Cigarette-Smoking Man, who smiles, pretending to be holding a conversation with good news.) CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: Yes, good, good, good. Uh, where are you? (Cut to Krycek, who is very angry.) KRYCEK: Somewhere that you will never find me, you double-crossing son of a bitch. (Cut to the Cigarette-Smoking Man. All eyes are upon him in the room.) CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: Are you sure? (Cut to Krycek.) KRYCEK: I'm sure of this... if I so much as feel your presence, I'm going to make you a very, very famous man. You understand? (Cut to the Cigarette-Smoking Man, who smiles and nods as if everything is fine.) CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: Yes, thank you. I'm going to report that to the group. (Cut to Krycek, who slams down the receiver. Cut back to the Cigarette-Smoking Man, who hangs up slowly and hands the phone back to the aide.) I've just received confirmation that the digital tape containing the stolen files was destroyed in the carbomb explosion, which killed Agent Scully's would-be assassin. TOM: So much for producing the tape. 1ST ELDER: What about Mulder and Scully? CROW: So much for long-term memory. CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: I have a meeting with the F.B.I., they, uh... they want to make a deal. 1ST ELDER: For what? CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: For nothing. There'll be no deal. There's no deal to make. (He walks out.) MIKE: (CSM) Watch how fast I can backpeddle! SCENE 14 GREENWICH, CONNECTICUT (Mulder turns on Mrs. Mulder's bedside lamp and sits down on her bed.) MRS. MULDER: Fox? MULDER: Yeah. MRS. MULDER: What time is it? MULDER: It's after two. CROW: No wonder Mulder has social problems!! Just because he never sleeps... MIKE: We know Crow, we know. MRS. MULDER: What, did you drive up here? Why didn't you call? MULDER: I needed to see you in person. I need to ask you something. I need to MIKE: (Mulder) ...keep you from hanging up on me. ask you about something that happened a long time ago. MRS. MULDER: Oh, Fox... (She sits up.) I don't remember anything, I told you before. MULDER: Mom, listen to me. When Samantha... before she was gone, did Dad ever ask you if you had a favorite? Did he ever ask you that? MRS. MULDER: Fox, please... MULDER: Mom, did he ever ask you to make a choice? MRS. MULDER: Don't do this... (She starts to get up but he puts his hands on her cheeks.) MULDER: Mom, listen to me! I need to know! Did he make you make a choice? (She starts to cry.) MRS. MULDER: No. I couldn't choose. It was your father's choice and I hated him for it. Even in his grave, I hate him still. (They hug and she cries into his shoulder.) MIKE: "Mulder family bonding." TOM: Yes, reopening wounds of vast grief is a great way to strengthen your family! SCENE 15 FBI HEADQUARTERS; WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Cigarette-Smoking Man walks into Skinner's office. He closes the file he was reading and looks up at Cigarette-Smoking Man, who puts a cigarette in his mouth and lights it.) CROW: (CSM) Ow! My lip! Hot! AHHH! MIKE: Wha..? CROW: Well, his mouth... he light it...and uh..oh nevermind. CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: Now, you wanted to see me? (Skinner puts the file down and stands up.) SKINNER: I have the tape you've been looking for. CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: Really? MIKE: (CSM) Thanks! For some reason I just can't get enough of N'Sync. SKINNER: I'm prepared to hand it over or destroy it in exchange for Mulder and Scully's safety and for their reinstatement here. CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: What did I tell you, Mister Skinner? I don't negotiate. Especially not with punks like you who think they can bluff me. SKINNER: Bluff you? CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: You haven't got any tape. You haven't got any deal. You can't play poker if you don't have any cards, Mister Skinner. You ever wonder what it would be like to, uh... die in a plane crash? Of botulism? Even a heart attack's not uncommon for a man your age. You think I'm bluffing? (He takes a drag and turns to walk away.) SKINNER: I'm not finished yet. (The Cigarette-Smoking Man turns back. Skinner walks to the back door and opens it, revealing Albert Hosteen, sitting down.) Albert? (Albert walks in as the Cigarette-Smoking Man looks on in shock.) TOM: (CSM) Oh shi.... ALBERT HOSTEEN: Yat a valgala. MIKE: Any bets on what Albert just said? CROW: Maybe "Go suck a lemon" or something...I dunno. CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: What is this? (Skinner walks up to the Cigarette-Smoking Man in front of Hosteen.) SKINNER: This is where you pucker up and kiss my ass. ALL: Woah! MIKE: Can they say that? TOM: I don't know, but it just got the award for best line in this episode! CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: Now, listen, you... SKINNER: Now, you listen to me, you son of a bitch! This man's name is Albert Hosteen. You should remember that. CROW: (Mr. Freeze) For it is the chilling sound of your doom... Because if Agents Mulder and Scully come down with so much as a case of the flu, Albert is prepared to recite, chapter and verse, file for file, everything on your precious tape. CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: It's a nice try, Skinner. SKINNER: I'm sure you're thinking Albert is an old man and there are plenty of ways you might kill him too. Which is why, in the ancient oral tradition of his people, he's told twenty other men the information on those files. So unless you kill every Navajo living in four states... MIKE: Guess that explains the Hanta virus. that information is available with a simple phone call. Welcome to the wonderful world of high technology. TOM: So after downloading a file which they can't get to print or copy, Albert and a bunch of his people memorize it, can be accessed by a phone call and Skinner thinks this is high *technology*?! (The Cigarette-Smoking Man stares at Skinner in disbelief.) CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN: You're bluffing. SKINNER: Am I? CROW: Do you feel lucky? (The Cigarette-Smoking Man turns and walks out. Skinner looks at Albert, who nods in pride.) MIKE: (Albert) You go man! ....So we're good. Unless of course he decideds to kill off the entire Navajo... oh crap!!!! (Mulder walks in to Melissa Scully's hospital room to find Scully sitting in a chair looking at an empty hospital bed. She looks back at him.) SCULLY: It happened three hours ago. She went into surgery and, uh... the damage to her brain was worse than they had hoped. CROW: They *hoped* for brain damage? MIKE: Ouch! Somebody needs to work on their bedside-manner. (She kneels down next to her.) Her blood pressure started to rise and, uh... she slipped away. TOM: They said they wouldn't wax the operating table next time. She died for me and I tried to tell her I was sorry but I don't think she'll ever really know. (Tears well up in her eyes and her voice weakens towards the end.) MULDER: Oh, she knows. Melissa knows. (Scully takes a deep breath.) SCULLY: You were right. There is no justice. MULDER: I don't think this is about justice, Scully. SCULLY: Then what is it about? MIKE: (Mulder) I think it's about this guy who had an idea for a tv show... MULDER: I think it's about something we have no personal choice in. I think it's about fate. (They sit in silence for a little while.) Skinner told me that he talked to you, that you were insistent about coming back to work. Now, if Melissa's death is... SCULLY: I need something to put my back up against. MULDER: I feel the same way. We've both lost so much... but I believe that what we're looking for is in the X-Files. I'm more certain than ever that the truth is in there. TOM: I thought the Truth was Out There. CROW: Well no wonder Mulder can never find the Truth, he's looking for it in the wrong place! SCULLY: I've heard the truth, Mulder. Now what I want are the answers. (He kneels up next to her and puts his arm around her. She leans her head against his chest as they look at the empty bed.) [THE END] Return to the Scripts Page