Day 15

This is now my sixth day of subsiding almost exclusively off of varren semen. I have managed to find a source of clear water that does not contain any harmful pathogens, but it remains the only viable food source I possess. My belief is that somewhere along the food chain, the deadly proteins in the plant matter are being processed and broken down enough that by the time a varren has converted its food supply into everything that it needs to, it is safe for my consumption. If I find the exact link in the food chain where this phenomenon occurs I could begin to hunt the animals of this planet down and find an alternate food source, but in truth, I don't know that I want to anymore.

There exists no scientific basis for what is happening, but I feel like somehow, my new 'diet' has had effects on me that I can't prove, but which I feel. Little things, like more energy than I am used to, are making me wonder if my new diet is in fact more nutritious than what I'm used to, as worrying as that is. But the effects are not all beneficial; as embarrassing as it is to admit it, the interest of full disclosure I suppose I have to. I worry that there is something occurring inside of me on a chemical level that is increasing my libido to unbearable levels. Every time I visit one of the varren, I--a-ah...

Forzan whines as she shivers about in her seat, hands running down her body as her head rolls back a little bit. There is no cut this time, as she reaches her hand down to her loins and begins to rub herself between her thighs in plain view of the camera, even through her suit.

I don't always use my hands to collect my meals anymore. The varren enjoy my mouth even more than they like my hand, and they're so dominant about what they do to me. They f... I'm sorry for what I'm about to say, as I wanted this to be scientific and proper, but these words are... I feel that I have to be honest about what I feel about how this has to go on; it's wrong of me to hold back on what I feel, as my mental state's changes may well be equally attributable to what this diet has done to me. So, please do not be too appalled by what I'm about to say; there have been a lot of varyingly successful attempts at composure, but I feel it's all for nothing.

They fuck my mouth like they're trying to impregnate me. Like I'm just a mate to them, and they're just going at me with all of the ferocity they can. I started off slower at first, using my mouth to lick the head and try to remove the bottling process from it all on the assumption that it will taste fresher if I get it from the source. And it may not be true, but I cannot tell for certain because I'm too busy touching myself as I do. Lying there on my back in the dirt, a varren standing over my face and slamming down into it as he pants and groans and leaves me barely to breathe as he slams his penis into me... It's disgusting, but I find myself so obsessed with it that all I can think about is getting more. I try my best to fight it, but there's no fighting this, and it's becoming more and more of my day as everything goes further and further into debauchery on levels that I am simply not ready to face.

I'm hungrier now, as well. It sated me initially, fulfilled my hunger and left me surprisingly full. But not anymore. I don't know if there's an addictive property or if this hunger is psychosomatic, but the more I taste, the more I want, and I've already begun to move on to four 'meals' a day. I haven't bottled any in three days, which means that I have gone out and made individual trips each time to find a varren willing to facefuck me, and it's not difficult. Perhaps it's how much I smell like them; all of the contact and semen has left my suit reeking of it. With a limited supply of clean water and uncertainty about how much more there may be, I can't waste what supply I have to wash my suit, which means I smell of it constantly, and it only gets stronger with each 'visit'.

Drawing in a sharp breath, Forzan purrs, shoulders twitching as the motion of her arm picks up and she rubs more aggressively against her pussy through her suit. Her voice is growing hotter and heavier as she becomes more frank about her experiences and what she's doing.

The varren population now seems to regard me as a strange visitor, but one whom they've all come to know exactly what to do with. It's fascinating how varren in different areas and of enough visible differences to surely not be from the same pack as others all understand what to do with me. I've been marked with a scent that somehow has given all of the explanation they need, and they now take eager advantage of that fact to have their way with me. It's curious, how they have so easily come into this manner of claiming and ravaging me, fully aware of how to treat me. It deserves to be studied, but I am no animal specialist.

I'm not even fully sure I'm a woman of science anymore.

Day 19

As the video comes into view, Forzan's suit is unzipped and loose, pooled down at her sides. Her lilac breasts are round and full as they rise and fall with her vigorous breaths, her hips squirming about while she sticks a hand down into her suit, blatantly masturbating as she leans back in her seat. Thick, curly dark hair is spread all about, long and bouncing down her shoulders, although it's lost some of its sheen, and a few strands of white stick out against the black as she pants heavily.

With an appetite so great that I have had six meals yesterday and today, I am now progressively getting more and more worried that there is indeed some kind of change occurring within both my libido and my appetite that is entirely down to the varren cum composition I've been living off of. My need is growing more ravenous with each day, and I'm escalating at a rate so worrying that I don't even know how I can keep the supply up. I'm spending more time each day seeking varren and trying to coax my meals from them, and when I do return to the ship, I'm spending distressing amounts of my free time masturbating. I can't help it, and I find myself barely capable of holding onto equipment due to the trembling of my fingers any time they're not inside of me. My vision goes blurry and my focus wanes as memories of the varren drive me insane, and I'm left with no choice but to tend to myself. Even now, in trying to record my log for the day, I can't get it all out of my head.

She moans loudly as her free hand goes to one of her breasts, fondling and kneading it as she picks up the pace on her loins, thighs clamping down around her hand in the process.

I think about sucking varren off constantly. Their c--ugh, it's such a difficult word for me to say as I try my best to remain composed, but scientific terms sound so detached and cold. They're lifeless and no longer feel accurate to how they are in my mind and when they're against me. These are no longer penises, they're cocks. Thick, aching, varren cocks plunging down my throat, fucking my face until my vision dims as I rub frantically against my soaking wet pussy, doing everything I can to try to and get off and enjoy myself as much as they are as they slam down into my mouth. I gag so much on them, and many of them are able to make my throat bulge right out as they fuck me, so large that my body can't fully accommodate them, but so primal and dominant that they just fuck me away and let me loosen to fit them. But it's always a snug fit. One that plugs my wind pip and prevents me from breathing as the get even louder and more aggressive. But it feels amazing! Nngh, I love sucking varren cocks so much, and I don't know why I care about alternative food sources or trying to get off of this godforsaken planet, because everything I have is right here!

Swallowing down all of that varren cum makes me so hot, and I can't help but want more of it. It all feels so amazing, and I can't help myself from it. I worry that one day I'm not even going to bother returning to the ship, certain now that no varren on this planet is going to attack me, for whatever reason. It's almost a little bit tempting to leave this all behind, the last sign of my life that I have left, to live off of the nutrient-rich cum that provides more value as food than anything I've ever eaten in my life. It doesn't matter how wrong this is, because it's the most incredible thing I've ever known. I want more of it, even now as I sit here, I'm thinking about it. About a throbbing varren cock rubbing against my face as he clumsily tries to get lined up with my mouth, letting me inhale all of that musk before he finally makes it work and slams balls deep in. There's nothing in life that feels quite as good as that. 

I am fully aware of what I'm saying, and horribly enough, that doesn't change what I feel. I wish it could, but I can't stop this hunger.

Her cheeks burn a deep purple as her fingers twist harder, her hips beginning to buck as she masturbates in full, shameless view of the camera.

I'm addicted! I don't know how to stop it. To be honest, maybe I don't want to. I'm sitting here right now swaying back and forth between feeling amazing and feeling shameful, but one is so much stronger than the other, and how much shame can I really have if I'm touching myself in one of these video logs? It's shameful, but I can't help myself, and I worry that I'm not going to be able to hold onto any semblance of control, that maybe the psychological effects of addiction will only worsen. My choices seem to be that I can either starve to death or lose myself to mindless lust. Neither option sounds particularly promising, as you can imagine, but one is much more welcoming than the other.

Her voice dips extra deep and strained as her eyes briefly roll back and she speaks as the pleasure tears through her and her whole body heaves.

I want to be a slut for varren cocks!

No more words follow as she grabs tightly to the back of the chair, her voice a scattered mess of moans and heavy breaths. She rubs herself harder and faster, feet pushing against the floor and her lower body rising out of the seat as she bucks against her fingers for those final few moments before orgasmic screams flood the otherwise abandoned bridge of the scout ship. She twists and shivers as she loses herself to a rush of intense lust, slowly sinking back down toward her chair with ragged gasps as the orgasmic bliss sends electrifying shudders of delight through her body. She doesn't even bother to close out the video, and seems scarcely aware anymore that it's even rolling as she procures a small bottle from beside her.

As she pops open the cap, she brings it to her lips and began to slowly drink from it, her lips wrapping around the lip of the bottle as she starts to rock her hand back and forth, simulating fellatio on the bottle's neck. Her other hand continues all the while to rub at her pussy despite her previous orgasm, wholeheartedly ignoring the entirety of her surroundings or that the video was still going as she gulped down mouthful after salty mouthful of her meal. Her seventh for the day, gulped down desperately like she hadn't had something to drink in days. All the while, she touches herself.

Her tongue slithers around the inside of the neck, trying to lick up as much lingering spunk as her tongue can reach, fingers tapping the back of the bottle to force out as much as possible. The hunger on display is shameful, and she's so consumed by her masturbation and by her meal time that she's does nothing to acknowledge the camera, too caught up in her lust to even remember that she had done anything. She just drinks, and once her tongue has reached every bit she can, she sticks a finger into the bottle, swirling the digit around to catch even more cum before promptly sucking it right off.

I want a varren to fuck me so badly. I don't care if it's a waste of food, why am I so horny?

She doesn't speak toward the camera as she runs the cold glass down her body, slipping a little further out of her suit to expose her desperate, puffy pussy. Her tone is lower and more withdrawn; she's talking to herself and simply unaware that she's still being recorded. With a firm grip on the bottle's neck, she licks her lips and then shoves it most of the way into her dripping twat, fucking herself with the container and gasping as the penetration proves much more intense than her fingers ever could.

It would feel so much better. Mmm, it's so fucked up of me, but I can't help it. Maybe tomorrow, I'll try to find two of them. I'd love to be spitroasted by a pair of varren both on the hunt, hungry and frustrated, only for me to come along, smelling ripe for their taking. Oh, those thick cocks would feel so amazing inside of my pussy, I want it so badly! These bottles are too cold and I just know that as amazing as the cum is to drink, it must feel so good when they're actually fucking me. Trying to mate with me and  leave me pregnant. It wouldn't work, but I would be dripping with so much cum by the time they were done. Is it wrong of me to want that?

What the fuck does wrong even mean anymore?

Forzan's rambling to herself and furious masturbation with the bottle continues for fifty two more minutes and approximately ten orgasms before the video reaches its length limit and cuts out.

Day 20

A varren fucked me today. I didn't intend for him to, but it happened, and I was powerless to stop him from claiming me and having his brutal and filthy way with my body. I never wanted something like this to happen; as confused as I may seem and as much as I feel like there is a dependency growing, this is all by necessity. If I don't eat, I will die, This is pure desperation; I have no intention of being a sexual toy for varren, and I have no attraction to them or anything about them. This is just... Difficult to explain.

But the vital part of this update is that today, one fucked me.

Two varren were waiting outside of the ship for me. Occasionally, I'll find one stalking around; I believe they track me down to the ship and wait patiently for me to come out. It's the only sense that I can make of their behavior. But on this occasion, there were two of them, and I wasn't sure how to handle this, given my last run-in with multiple varren ended with my suit being marked with many loads of varren cum to begin with. I worried that the same would occur here, but things did not go quite as planned, for which I'm insure if I am thankful or worried.

I dropped to my knees between them, grasped both cocks firmly and tried to ease them onto their bellies. One obeyed, and I leaned forward to suck on his cock while attempting to stroke the other one, but he had other ideas. He walked around me and climbed on top, mounting me and pressing his cock right up against my pussy, teasing the entrance and--oh! I forgot an important detail. He first.... ran a claw along my suit and found the zipper. That's what happened. He undressed me first, I was wearing my suit when this happened. He undressed me and then mounted me, and I wasn't sure what I was going to do, but I was in no position to be fighting against him; I needed my meal, and there was no way to run to safety.

And then he stuffed his big cock right into me, and oh heavens I could barely control mys--my screams. My screams. Instinctively, I tried to call for help, although I quickly realized it was futile, that I was better off cooperating, and so I let the beast fuck me as I leaned down and continued trying to get breakfast out of the one in front of me.

I wonder if the varren have been waiting for this opportunity. It's impossible to say for sure, but the way he went at me felt so go--oh, fuck it. Who am I lying to here? It's just me on this planet, and nobody is coming to save me; these logs keep me sane, but I don't know how sane I can truly be. I'm talking to myself and fixated on being fucked by wild animals, there's nothing sane about my life; these videos are just my way to keep from losing it completely. So I'll be honest. I went out there naked, no suit, no helmet. Completely nude, and they weren't waiting at the ship. I sought them out, a pair of two varren whose attention I caught, and I presented to them, got down on all fours and stuck my ass high in the air like I was a bitch in heat. I begged to be rutted, I begged for him to fuck me, and I felt fucking amazing about it!

Forzan opens her suit up as she twists wildly about, immediately at ease and happy as she gets comfortable in her seat, stripping fully naked and spreading her legs wide. The puffy lilac folds leak a thick, viscous white that her fingers are quick to reach down for and bring to her lips.

They took turns with me. Two rounds each, and every time, they came hard. I sucked off the one who wasn't fucking me, and I thought sucking varren cock felt good, but sucking varren cock covered in my pussy juices is something out of this world! I came five times because of them, and each time felt better than the last, like I was reaching some kind of mental paradise where all that mattered was getting fucked. I've never felt hotter than I did then, and I can't believe how amazing it was. My body burned, and climaxing made me a better cocksucker; I ate four loads by the time they were done with me, and I'm still so hungry for more.

Once her fingers are sucked clean, she runs her hand back down her body and keeps her legs spread as she rubs at her still leaking, cummy pussy with quick, sloppy circles.

There's no shame in hiding it now or pretending that anything is different than what it is. Almost all of my time now is spent masturbating. My sexual stamina seems endless, and no amount of orgasms is stopping me, and I have them sooner and faster by the day, like my body is slowly changing and being primed for something. Varren may be more interesting creatures than we've yet to give them credit for, as I believe these effects are meant to make dedicated breeding stock more eager to mate, which is not a phenomenon I am in any way aware of. And yet here I am, feeling like I'm becoming a slut for varren cock, and I don't even care enough to hold myself back. There is no this can all be psychosomatic, because my breasts and my ass have both been growing a little bit in the last two weeks; I believe this is another sign of the effect, and my body is now changing in measurable ways, becoming tighter against my suit.

And it felt so good to feel their cocks inside of me! I never even imagined being spitroasted before, but once I was there, it felt too good to stop, and I could have kept going if they hadn't left me. I want to right now, in fact; to go back out there and seek out more varren. A pack of them, maybe. Let them share me and turn me into their whore; they won't have to know I won't get pregnant. It'll be my secret as they fuck me like one of their own brood mares and pound me raw. I want them to fuck me to orgasm after orgasm, for days to bleed into each other as I forget everything that's happened on this forsaken planet and embrace something new. Forget researching alternate food supplies. It's pointless, and it's not going to help me get off of this planet. I don't think I'm ever getting off of this planet, so I might as well get off.

Forzan brings the fingers now covered in the mixture varren cum and her own nectar up to her lips as her other hand trades off to masturbation duty, this time shoving fingers into her dripping snatch as she pulls her legs up, toes curling against the chair as she masturbates not necessarily for the camera, but certainly in full, plain view of it.

It's not a dietary thing anymore. I don't think it has been for a week and a half now. I'm done being in denial, and maybe I've even denied it to myself a little bit too, but I'm done now. I never felt as good as I did on all fours in the dirt, getting fucked by and like a filthy, wild animal. It was freeing in ways I couldn't even imagine until now, until I seized the moment for myself and took it all. But now that I know, I'm not going to deny myself the pleasure any longer. It feels too fucking good to. I never had a chance of making the repairs myself, and I'm not going to pretend any longer that there's hope. Why lie to myself and fail when I can just give up and be happy?

In the event that these videos are ever seen by somebody, I apologize for the sorry state I've ended up in, but there's nothing I can do to help myself. This is too much to bear, and I don't have the strength in me anymore to continue going on like this and lying to myself or to the camera. It's time to embrace what feels good; I'm going to let these beasts fuck my pussy as well as my mouth. They can even have my ass. For as long as I'm here, I might as well enjoy something about this horrible life. It's not much, but I hope that in time I might even come to forget the tragedy that brought me here, if these changes continue. Already, my memory is... I don't fully recall things about my past anymore. They're gone, just blanked out and replaced by need. I can't recall much of my childhood, because all I see in my head when I try to is a throbbing varren cock twitching and exploding in my face, and all it does is make me want to seek one out.

I'm a changed woman now. I'm ready to leave hope and science behind, but don't feel bad for me. In some strange way, I want this life, and maybe it's not only because of the effects my diet has had on me. The next video update I make will hopefully be bearing even better news than this one, but until then, I'll be...

Ngh, probably right here, fingering myself and thinking about cock. What a life this is turning into.

You are not authorized to comment here. Your must be registered and logged in to comment