Shireroth Goes Into Maximum Overdrive
Headlines: Even Omnipotent Evil Tree-Gods Have Their Limitations
SHIREKEEP, SHIREROTH - In an attempt to keep summer monotony at bay,
Shirerithians and assorted other participants have decided to hold
another recreational rebellion (or 'rec-reb' for short) in order to
prevent the terrorists from winning. Apparently.
Exterior Minister Scott "of Hyperborea" Siskind had the presence of mind to issue the following notice to foreigners, in a vain attempt to reassure them that nothing was actually going on:
"It would seem some people are trying to start a rebellion. While I do
not entirely approve, this is an old Shirerithian tradition and a
well-accepted way of getting things done. It is not the horrible crisis
it might be in some other nations, nor is it a threat to our country or
to yours. The Olympics will still go as planned, all of our relations
will stay exactly as they were, and chances are that, minus a possible
minor shuffle of who's in what leading position, the country will stay
exactly the same. Do not worry or try to interfere."
Meanwhile special undercover reporter and evil tree-god Malarbor has
sent in the following report: "Confused by the rebellion? Can't keep
track of who's where or on what side? Neither can I. Luckily, unlike
you, I fully intend to wreak horrible revenge against anyone who
contradicts my version of events, and on that principle I've compiled
more or less a diagram of what's going on in today's handy Malarborgram.
"In the beginning Monty Crisco and the rebels marched on Shirekeep and
were besieging the city, with only Nirus Tinenetuwar's Paladins and
Greg's troops between them and the Kaiser. Furthermore, Loyalist forces
under the command of Count of Elwynn Ardashir Osmani had taken over
Musica, much of which has been destroyed.
"Additionally, the Babkhan Navy, under Rakesh, have burnt several major
ports in Amity. And the Rantsilastanis, quiet for so long, seemed to
have found a new, supposedly charismatic leader who is directing them
to aid in the rebel cause.
"But now, the Anticans have shown up and stopped the Babkhan
bombardment of Amity, and the invaders in Musica are scrambling as
Frans Erkinpoika's armies approach. Neither side has made a significant
move in the siege of Shirekeep, but Draco has joined the battle with an
aircraft carrier there and it appears that Ardashir Osmani's Babkhan
troops are also heading in that direction. There are also rumors that
Antican troops have been sighted in Brookshire, as well as sightings of
a very mysterious creature near the Temple in Mirioth."
While those who are interested have been invited to check the Kaiser's
Court for the latest maps and updates, everyone else who isn't is
invited to ride out the storm in their nearest bar, or failing that, in Hell.
Other Stories
Mystery Editor Identified
Congratulations to Rakesh for correctly identifying the mystery editor
of Issue 16 as Iain de Vembria. Rakesh will be attending the FNORD
Awards 2004 as the Guest of Honour.
Battle of the Banners
Barac�o and Shireroth have competing banners against summer inactivity
Gentlemen - Start Your Engines!
Formula Z is accepting registrations
for teams and drivers until the end of the weekend. The first race of
the season has been postponed until June 13th due the reduced number of
participating nations.
FNORDs Update
The final nominations for the FNORD Awards are almost in, after which the judging will begin.
New Cathedral Dedicated
The Bishop of Morovia has dedicated the nation's new Cathedral to St George.
New Order Awarded
Eoin Dornan has been awarded
the title of "Honorary Knight of the Most Holy Order of Saint Michael"
for "his unquestionable devotion to Treesia, and all of his
accomplishments within Treesia and other micronations".
And Finally...
Aerlig is celebrating the acquisition of its new domain name, and of being "honest" in Norwegian.
