BEING SEPARATED FROM KIRPAL I WEPT
by
Sant Ajaib Singh Ji
Delhi, India
March 22, 1978
After separating from the Beloved I came into this world.
I wandered here and there and was kicked and knocked.
No one came to my rescue.
Being separated from Kirpal, I wept.
Without my Beloved, I am writhing in pain.
I am longing for His darshan,
This world has become my enemy.
Being separated from Kirpal, I wept.
I come and go in this world and suffer much.
Separated from the Lord as I am, I repent;
I am lost in the realm of the Negative Power.
Being separated from Kirpal, I wept.
He resides within me, but how do I know?
I am mad and do not recognize my Master.
Oh, I didn't get to talk with Kirpal!
Being separated from Kirpal, I wept.
Nobody knows me here. This is a foreign land for me.
He sent me here but has not come to take me back.
I am neither dead nor alive.
Being separated from Kirpal, I wept.
O Merciless One, You forgot me.
I didn't want to be separated from You!
Without Kirpal, who else is my supporter?
Being separated from Kirpal, I wept.
I have forgotten the path. Which way should I go?
I request You to come and take me,
As it is now very difficult to live without You.
Being separated from Kirpal, I wept.
O Kirpal! Shower grace on me and listen to me.
O Giver of Grace to the miserable ones! Listen to me.
I am also miserable and crying for Your help.
Being separated from Kirpal, I wept.
I am a sinner. Embrace me;
Make me sit in Your boat of Naam.
Ajaib has now become of Kirpal.
Being separated from Kirpal, I wept.
Shabda takes on the human form and dwells among us. We are all
beggars and He is the giver. He always comes as a giver. He gives
whatever is asked of Him. Last year, when I went to America, I met
many dear ones of Master. They all talked about their experiences with
Master and how He fulfilled their wishes. Some dear ones told me that
before taking Initiation they had a certain disease and as soon as
they got Initiation they got rid of it. Some said they had family
problems and when they requested Master their family life became
harmonious. Some had a problem of unemployment which was cured when
they prayed to Master for His help. Some said they were not doing well
in school examinations and when they requested Master for help, He
Himself came there to solve their problems. And so it went; if I told
you all the experiences of the dear ones, it could become a big book.
Anyway, when everybody told me their experiences, I also told them my
own experience with Great Master Kirpal. What was it? It was this: I
never asked for anything of this world from my Master. If ever I asked
for anything from Him, it was only Him.
In my life I had never wept. I had never felt sad enough, because
there was nothing of this world which my father couldn't give to me
for my comfort. When I left my property in the Punjab it didn't affect
me; I was very happy to leave it. When with the Master's orders I left
my property in Rajasthan, then also I didn't feel sad, even though it
was worth lakhs of rupees. But there was one moment when I did feel
sad, and I did weep. I wept so much that it became an important part
of my life. In this hymn it is said, "Being separated from Kirpal, I
wept." Guru Angad also wept when Guru Nanak left from His physical
vision. He said, "It is better to die before the departure of the
Beloved. Curse on the life lived without Him." When Hazrat Bahu's
Master left, He also wept and said, "This pain will always remain with
me and I'll die weeping."
Now you see, no doubt the Master Power gives you whatever you ask from
Him. Some ask for name and fame, some ask for wealth and things like
that; but the lover asks only for His darshan. He says, "I want only
You and nothing else." Master used to explain it this way: Once a king
went to a foreign country. His queens sent their messages to him in
which some requested him to bring cosmetics, some asked him to bring
good clothes, some asked for this thing and some asked for that thing.
But the youngest queen, who was not well treated by the others, sent a
message saying, "I want nothing except you." So when the king came
back from his trip he brought all the things that the queens had re-
quested, and he himself went to the youngest queen who had asked only
for him. Now you know that where there is the king, there is
everything. Master Sawan Singh Ji used to say, "It is better to have a
carpenter in your house than to have to go to him for every single
thing." If you want to make a cupboard, table and chairs, or other
things, why don't you go to the carpenter and tell him to come to your
house for making those things, instead of taking material to his shop
day after day? When once you have brought the carpenter to your house,
he will make you all the things you tell him and in that way you will
be saving time and money. In the same way, how good it will be to
manifest the Master Power within and ask only for Him. Then whatever
we will need, He Himself will do for us. Then it won't remain our
need, it will become His need, for when we become His, ours becomes
His. We know that a mother never gives poison to her child. In the
same way, Satguru never gives us things which can delude us, which can
keep us tied to this world. We, the worldly people, do not know what
to ask from Him.
Further in the hymn it is said, "After separating from the beloved I
came into this world and was kicked and knocked! No one came to my
rescue." So after separating from that Power we came into this world.
Many times we came in the body of a dog, many times in the body of a
cat, many times we became ghosts wandering here and there, suffering
many hardships. In the end when we came in the human body, which is
called the highest in all creation, where one can get all the
comforts, there also you can see: how much happiness have we got? If
we see a little bit of happiness in anyone's life, it is only for a
few days. If we have a lot of wealth and good name and fame in
society, even then we cannot be happy forever. Who knows when the call
of death might come and we may have to leave this world empty-handed?
If this is the condition in the human body - the highest in all
creation-what to speak of lower bodies? How can they dream of
happiness when they cannot even drink water at their own will? You see
the animals: they cannot come into the shade by themselves, they
cannot tell their pains to others, they cannot ask for medicines. When
the souls who understand that there is no happiness in this world,
come into this world, they ask only for God from Him, leaving all the
things of this world. Even if they are offered the kingdom of the
whole world, still they won't take it. They always say, "I want only
You, my God, my Master. "'What do they have to do with this world?
They say this because they know that ever since the soul has been
separated from Shabda she has never had any peace or happiness. She is
lost in the realm of the Negative Power. The world in which we are now
living is the creation of the Negative Power. Saints come into this
realm of the Negative Power only to make the souls free from the
clutches of mind and matter. They tell us, this is not our true home,
it is not our own, not even this body is our own - this also is a
rented house, which we'll have to leave some day.
God lives within us but the soul doesn't know that the Oversoul is
within. That is why we search for Him on mountains and in temples and
p mosques. Many people go on very difficult pilgrimages. It is just as
though the needle were in search of iron, not knowing that she herself
is made out of iron. It is as though the fish in the water is thirsty,
not know-ing that she needs only to open her mouth. In the same way
God is within us, as the butter is in the milk, and the fragrance is
in the flower. But we don't know this and therefore we search for Him
outside. If anything is lost in our house but we go on searching for
it outside, how can we find it? So this world is not our home. Our
soul is entangled here. She is suffering and begging to the Almighty,
"You have sent me here, but You haven't come to take me back to my
eternal Home. The Negative Power pleased You and as a reward You gave
us to him. I am neither dead nor alive."
You know that when the soul leaves one body, another one is being kept
ready for it. As soon as she enters in that body, the fear of leaving
it is there. So always the soul comes and goes from one body to
another, and that is why she is neither living nor dead. So the soul
cries and says, "You are merciless, You didn't come to take me even
though you know that I'm in pain. I don't like to remain separated
from You, my Lord." This is true: when the souls were separated from
God, they didn't want to leave Him, but as He promised them that He
would come to take them back, they obeyed Him. And only because of
that promise Shabda comes in the human body, and as He comes in
different times in different bodies, that is why He is called by
different names. Guru Arjan says: "The Light is the same, the
practices are the same, only the body is changed." It is not true that
Guru Nanak taught something different from Baba Jaimal Singh or Master
Sawan Singh Ji brought a different message than our Master Kirpal
Singh Ji. The Light is the same, and the method of realizing the
Almighty is always the same.
So the soul says, "I don't know how to get to You-please come and take
me home!" If the soul had known the way, why would she have re-mained
separated from God for so long and suffered so much? Soul doesn't know
the way back to her Origin. God Himself comes to show her the way. He
comes and tells her, "I am within you in the form of Light. Come and
meet Me so that you may return to your Home." That is why, in order to
receive His help, the soul is begging the Satguru to come and shower
grace on her. She calls Him Gracious and Giver. "If kirpal [gracious]
saint showers grace," Nanak says, "not only the dear ones but even the
critics can be liberated." No matter how bad we are, if He showers
grace on us we can surely get liberation. Further Guru Nanak Sahib
says, "Whosoever comes in the refuge of a Saint, no matter who he is,
whether he is a sinner or a good man, he gets liberation." Saints
never say that only good people should come to them and sinners should
not come. They say that anyone can practice the Path, but at least he
should be human. Because Saints are always gracious, they accept
everybody. So the soul says, "I am a sinner, please have mercy on me
and, showering grace, embrace me." Now the thing is, who will embrace
us? Only our friend or our Beloved. So with much humility she
confesses that she is a sinner. Until we develop such humility He
won't open His door to us. Master Sawan Singh Ji used to say that
those who pretend to be a good man in front of the Master, no doubt
they get much respect and fame from the Master outwardly, but from
within, as He knows all, they remain empty. So here she says, "Embrace
me. I'm a sinner. Make me sit in your ship of Naam. I completely
surrender to you."
So we should also make such a request to our Master in His love. In
the separation of beloved Hazur our eyes should always remain wet;
until He Himself comes to console us, we should go on weeping for Him.
What happened if we got Initiation from Him? It is not enough to be
in-itiated by Him if we are very far from His Radiant Form, which we
were supposed to manifest within us. Until we reach Him inside, our
devotion to Him is not completed. Our soul is diffused much in this
world. We have to withdraw it, not only from the body but also from
the outer world. With the help of Simran collect it and bring it to
its seat in the body and then by itself it will go towards Shabda and
will enjoy the Elixir of Shabda. So we should also ask only Him from
Him instead of requesting the worldly things. Have we ever shed a
single tear in His separation? Have we ever left sleep even for one
night in His separation? We never weep. Sometimes the soul feels the
yearning for Him but the mind makes many excuses and takes her to
other things which are easy for us to practice, which do not ask us to
leave any pleasure. For example: from the books we take statements
like, "Master liberates all His disciples whether they progress or
not." But we do not pay any attention to the statements such as,
"Nanak has come to this conclusion after researching a lot: that
without meditation there is no liberation." Once some sevadars
requested Master Sawan Singh Ji to liberate them without asking them
to meditate. Master was displeased and said, "No, this is not the way
it works. It is your work and you have to do it. Either now or then.
Wherever you leave off, you will have to start from there. You people
want things ready-made and you are demanding your transportation as
well. This is not the rule." When Master initiates He tells us to do
certain things. If we work according to His instructions, He certainly
helps us and take us back to our home. Suppose we are lost and some-
one shows us the way; the right thing to do is to be grateful to him
for his help. If instead of being grateful to him, we tell him to
carry us on his back to the place where we want to go, you see it is
not good in any sense. However, if he graciously carries us on his
back to the place we want to go, it cannot be called our bravery. We
should not become a burden on our Master. Our doing daily meditations
makes Master's work easier. Those who do not meditate become a burden
on the Master. We shouldn't remain spoiled children of our Father. We
should meditate and make our body work.
In this path those who have wanted only Master have succeeded. If we
ask for other things, of course graciously He will give them to us;
but what is the use? Everything of this world will remain here.
"Without Naam no one is our friend." What is the use of asking for
things which are not going to accompany us or help us? Ask for that
which will help you at the hour of crisis. Ask for the Master. Ask for
the gift of Naam. Those who catch the Master go to Naam, as only
Master has seen and manifested Naam. So if you do not catch the Master
you cannot succeed. What does it mean when I say, "Catch the Master"?
It doesn't mean to catch the Master's body. It means to do the things
He has told us to do-to go within and contact Him. Do more Bhajan and
Simran. Knowledge gained from books alone won't do any good. It won't
help you. Kabir says, "Copying from many books you have come to
debate, O pandit; how long will you live eating from others' dishes?"
People take a few things from one book, a few from another, a few
thoughts from this talk and a few from another talk and then they pre-
tend that they are very learned. They are praised by others but as far
as their meditation is concerned their report book shows no progress.
No meditation do they have in their account. They sleep earlier than
others and wake up later than others. Excuse me, but I've seen that
those who talk much sleep earlier and get up very late. They do no
meditation - in fact they do not love to meditate and don't have any
love for the Master. Tell me, will He ever be pleased with those who
talk only and do nothing? No father is pleased with the talkative idle
son. Rather he will be pleased with his son who works. So if you want
to please the Master, give up sleep, do more meditation, remember Him
as much as you can instead of talking and sleeping. Doing nothing,
those who talk much not only deceive others but they themselves also
remain in the deception of mind. They remain in darkness. They never
try to understand what bhakti is. Kabir says, "Bhakti is the ball on
the playground. One who is mighty can make his ball reach the goal."
You know that in the game of football the referee doesn't give the
ball to any particular person. He simply puts it in the center and one
who is clever and mighty takes it to the goal. In the same way, in
this field of devotion no one is given any concession or preference.
No particular religion or sex has the rights controlled for this game
of realizing the Almighty. Those who say that women cannot become
Masters are under a grand illusion, as they do not know how far the
difference of sex exists. Sehjo Bai, Mira Bai, and Rabia Basri were
perfect Saints Who practiced and preached Naam. There is no difference
in the inner world. God has put the same type of arrangement within
the woman for His realization as He has put within the man. Both man
and woman take birth and die in the same way. In fact, in this world,
only He can be called truly male who has conquered lust, anger, greed,
attachment and egoism. All others are females. Guru Nanak Sahib says,
"Only God is male, we are all His women. His woman never becomes dirty
or a widow." Guru Nanak isn't talking about the worldly women; He says
that one who considers himself as His never loses his character, and
only such people can feel that their husband, God, is always with
them.
So we should meditate on Naam. Rise above the body and appreciate the
time you have got. It is a beautiful occasion for you to remember Him
and have mercy on your soul. If you will not appreciate the time, who
knows when this good health will change to disease? When this voice
will stop working and we'll have to leave the body? So do not waste
time in praying for worldly things. Whatever is written in your fate
will be given to you. Master Sawan Singh Ji used to say that everybody
comes into this world carrying six things to suffer or enjoy: wealth
or poverty, good health or disease, happiness or pain. We have to deal
with them at any cost. So we should meditate. We should have so much
yearning for Him in our heart that sleep will not come to us. Do the
Simran as much as you can. While sitting, sleeping, standing or
walking or doing any work, your attention should be in Master's
beautiful Form. If you will develop such remembrance you will see Him
with you doing your work while you are awake, and during sleep He will
give you His sweet darshan. You will always feel Him as if He were
your shadow. He will never leave you.
So make the best use of your time. God bless you all.
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