THE FIRE IS BURNING
by
Sant Ajaib Singh Ji
August 3, 1977
Sant Bani Ashram
Sanbornton, New Hampshire
I am waiting for you, come visit me.
I have told you: send me some message!
Majnu and Layla were in love with each other. Layla was a Princess,
and her father, who was the King of that place, announced in the town
that if anyone came calling himself Majnu, they should give him
whatever he wanted without asking for payment. The King would be
responsible for it. So when this was announced, many people came to
ask for things, calling themselves "Majnu." Millions of Majnus were
born in that town. But in fact there was only one real Majnu, who was
in love with Layla; and he never came to ask for anything in the name
of his beloved. So when millions of Majnus were born in that town, all
the merchants of the town were surprised and they came to the King to
find out whether there was one Majnu or many. The King told them, "All
right. Tomorrow I will tell you exactly how many Majnus there are." He
asked Layla, "How many Majnus are there?" She said, "There is only one
Majnu. Tomorrow I will do something so that only the real one will
come and the so-called Majnus will go away." Layla put one knife and
one small bowl at all the shops in town saying: "Layla wants one piece
of flesh from the heart of Majnu." When the people calling themselves
"Majnu" were told, "Layla wants a piece of flesh from your heart, and
she has sent this knife and bowl," they all ran away, and nobody came
to take anything. When the real Majnu came to know that in his name
many so-called Majnus were born, and they were cheating the
shopkeepers and taking things because of what the King had announced,
he was very surprised. He was the only Majnu who came in the evening
and was ready to give his flesh. He said, "If Majnu had known this
earlier, what is the question of only a piece of flesh from his heart?
He would have given all his body."
Similarly in the court of our Master we are all becoming the so-called
Majnus, drinking milk and other things. But the real Majnu who gives
pain to the body is only one.
Once Guru Gobind Singh Ji was giving Satsang before five thousand
people. From that gathering he wanted to test how many real disciples
were there. So He came out and set up a tent on one side, and nobody
knew what was going to happen. He stood there with a naked sword and
said, "I need one man. I want to kill him." Nobody stood up; everybody
was thinking: the previous Masters took care of their disciples, but
this Master has changed; has He gone mad? But nobody knew His real
will. When Guru Gobind Singh said this, that he needed one head, only
one stood up, and said, "Yes, my head is ready." He was taken into the
tent, and he saw that five goats were kept there. Guru Gobind Singh
killed one of the goats and with the blood-stained sword he came out
and said, "I need one more head." When the people saw the blood on the
sword, they were fully convinced that He was killing disciples; and
nobody stood up. But one man who had completely surrendered to Guru
Gobind Singh stood up and said, "My head is ready." He was also taken
into the tent, and another goat was killed. In this way the Master
found five people in that gathering of five thousand who were ready,
who had completely surrendered themselves to Him. The Master gave them
His full attention and made them perfect disciples. When they were
brought out alive, people saw that this was a test and that they had
failed and they started defending themselves, saying, "If we had known
this before, we all would have been ready to go to Guru Gobind Singh."
Similarly, Guru Nanak tested His disciples to find out how many in His
sangat knew the inner secret. He showed them a dead body and said,
"Who is ready to eat this?" Now even to touch a dead body is
understood as inauspicious, so what is the question of eating? How
could we eat a dead body? But when Guru Nanak asked Bhai Lehna, who
was later on called Guru Angad, His spiritual successor, he accepted
it and he said, "All right, I will eat it." He started looking at that
dead body. Guru Nanak asked him, "Bhai Lehna, what are you doing?" He
answered Him, "I am wondering from which side I should start eating."
And in that way he passed the test which was put up by Guru Nanak;*
and after that he became the successor of Guru Nanak Sahib. And when
Guru Nanak left the body, in intense longing and pain of separation,
Guru Angad said, "It is better to die before our Beloved leaves,
because whatever life we live after him is all illegal; it is a sin to
live after our Beloved dies."
*According to the story, as Bhai Lehna took the first bite, the
corpse changed into sweets, which had been its real form.
When Hazrat Bahu's Master left the body, in the same way He also
sighed and wept, and he said, "Oh, Bahu, I will always have this pain
and with this pain I will leave the body. Whatever life I have to live
without my Master will always be spent in the pain of separation."
When Master Sawan Singh left the body, Hazur Maharaj Kirpal Singh had
his own house in the Dera. What was the question of taking the
property of the Dera? But He even left His own house in the Dera and
He went into the forest of Rishikesh to spend His life there.
The disciple who has perfected his meditation will not see anything
except his Master. He will not look at the property of His Master
because he is in the pain of separation. When Master Sawan Singh left
the body, at that time our troop was stationed at Beas. And I saw this
with my own eyes: there were approximately two hundred people - some of
them jumped from the walls, some of them jumped into the river - who
left the body, because when they heard that their Master had left they
could not bear the pain of separation.
Similarly in this hymn, Bulleh Shah pleads with His Master, in the
separation and love for Him. When Hazur Kirpal left the body, the dear
ones who came from the West know what my condition was at that time. I
also had the same thought: "0 Kirpal, I am waiting for you, I am
hoping that one day You will again come to my house, You will come to
me." Whenever we were sitting in His remembrance, when anyone was
talking about Him, I had this in my mind: "I am begging You so much, I
am sending You so many messages-but You are not sending me anything.
At least send me the message to tell me where You are now."
I have made bedding of my eyes and have made my heart a
courtyard,
0, my Shah Inayat,* come to me soon!
* Bulleh Shah's Master.
I have only one request to Hazur Kirpal: "Just as You were coming
before, now also You come into my ashram. I have laid down my life as
Your bedding. For the road I have laid down my life so that You may
walk on that and I have made a courtyard of my heart for You to come
and dwell there. You are my God, my Master, my everything."
Who is like Him, who can tell me about Him?
What fault do I have? I am Your servant.
Now how can we find anyone like Sant Kirpal, Who could give us so
much love and could assure us? We received only love from our Sant
Kirpal. When I came to know that Master Kirpal had left the body, one
police inspector was sitting with me. All thoughts were gone and only
this thing came out of my mouth: "What fault did I have that You have
left me? I was Your servant and I did not ask any worldly thing of You.
So why did You leave me?"
Without You, who is mine?
Do not break my heart.
Only this sigh was coming out of me: "Who is there except You for me in
this world? Don't stab my heart. And again come into this world for
me." Only for this poor one Hazur called the president (of a community)
of Rajasthan, and only for this poor one He ate a lunch with him and
said, "This is my task, to take his care." There was no Satsangi in
Rajasthan who went to visit Master without Master first of all asking
them, "Have you seen him before coming here?" Master was concerned
about me from within, but outwardly also He was concerned about me,
very much. That's why when Master left the body, all the world became
empty for me, and only this thought came: Now who is there who will
ask about my happiness or pain in this world?
In India it is the custom that when any girl is going to get married she
will accept food and fine clothes. I told Hazur, "My condition is like the
bride and I am also wearing the ornaments, the jewels of Shabd Naam. I
have not even satisfied my desire for this and You have left me in
between."
My husband has left me weeping.
From within, so many times this sigh was coming out: my husband has
left me and all my ornaments are dead. If any woman's husband leaves
the body, how the wife weeps, carrying the vessels and the jewels. My
condition was like that wife whose husband has died.
I've wept a lot for You, but (it seems) your heart
is made of stone.
At that time there were many people who were reasoning with me, and
they were saying, "Once you were telling us it is not a wise thing to
weep after anyone leaves you, and now what is happening to you? Why are
you weeping so much?" So I told them, "I know that my Master has not
left me; but physically He has put a veil between Him and me and now I
cannot talk to Him with my physical tongue. His heart has become
stone; that's why I cannot see Him physically."
Didn't you put the red powder on my forehead?
Didn't you give me the red wedding garment?
Only this voice was coming from the heart, "Didn't you marry me?
Didn't you become my husband? Am I not your wife? Now you have left
me, making me a widow."
I weep like Sussi wept, saying, "Beloved! Beloved!"
The voice was coming from the heart. Just as Sussi was repeating the
name of Poono while waiting for him, in the same way, I am also weeping
and repeating the name, "Kirpal, Kirpal."
Sussi was a Princess. The astrologer of her father, the King, told him,
"This girl is going to be a great lover, and she will defame you: she is
going to be in love with someone you will not like." The King did not want
his name to be defamed, so on the advice of the astrologer, he put Sussi
in a box, along with the money that would have been her dowry, and a
locket with his picture; and he put it in the river. The astrologers had
thought that they would go and remove that money (because astrologers
have this in mind: how to deceive people) but unfortunately for them
they weren't able to get that box, and it was found by one washerman.
He found the small girl, and using that money he raised her; and she was
very beautiful.
Years later the King, Sussi's father, came to the same place. When he
saw that girl he fell in love with her, and he told the washerman to give
the girl to him because he wanted to marry her. The washerman said,
"All right, we will ask her, and then we will tell you." When the
washerman told Sussi, "That King wants to marry you," Sussi answered,
"Father, whatever you tell me to do, I will do it; wherever you send me, I
will go." (In India, whatever the parents say, the children do. Wherever
the father wants the girl to go to get married, she will not have any objec-
tions.) When Sussi was brought back to the palace by the King, he went
to enjoy with her; but he recognized her necklace and locket which had
his picture. He realized that this Sussi was his daughter, and he realized
his mistake. To repent for that, he gave a big garden to Sussi, and from
that time on he treated her like his daughter-because she was his
daughter.
Once Sussi saw the picture of Poono - Poono was a young man from
a town named Kisham - and he was very beautiful. When Sussi saw the
portrait of Poono she fell in love with him. She had never met him
physically, but she was always dreaming of Poono and for twelve years
she waited for him to come even though she did not know who or where
he was. Even so, she did not sleep for twelve years because she was
always waiting for Poono to come.
On the other side, because heart talks to heart, Poono had started hav-
ing dreams of Sussi and he also had fallen in love with Sussi. In both
their hearts the fire of love was burning. At last, one day, after
waiting twelve years, Poono came to Sussi. And when Poono came into the
garden of Sussi, someone went and told Sussi that Poono was here.
When the lovers met, Sussi, who had not slept for twelve years, when she
found the lap of her beloved, she fell into a deep sleep; she didn't
remember what was going on and she slept for a long time.
Now when the parents of Poono came to know that he was mad in the
love of one girl, they thought, "He won't do any work, and he won't
come back." They were afraid they would lose him. So they sent for
some people to bring Poono back. When they arrived, both the lovers
were sleeping in deep love. When Poono awoke, they gave him wine;
and, in the intoxication of that wine, Poono was brought back on a
camel to his home.
When Sussi awoke the next morning and did not find Poono there, she
went mad and started weeping and pulling out her hair. Her father, her
mother, everyone came to reason with her, but she said, "Don't try to
make me understand because I am separated from my beloved." She
started searching for Poono, following the footsteps of the camel across
the desert. The sand was burning, and in the burning sand she followed
those footsteps. She became very thirsty but she kept repeating,
"Poono, Poono," calling to him. She saw that there was an oasis near-
by, and one shepherd was there. But she was afraid that if she left the
footsteps to go and drink the water, the footsteps would be blown away
and she would not be able to follow them. So she said to the footsteps,
"You are afraid that if a storm comes, you will cease to exist. And I am
afraid that if you no longer exist, I will not be able to continue my
search. So give me your promise: if you go away, you will have commit-
ted a crime and you will have to pay for that in the court of God. But if
I go away from this path which is leading me to my beloved, then I will
pay for this in the court of God; because it will mean that my love was
not true."
She went to the shepherd to ask him for water. But he wouldn't give
her any water because of her condition. She did not look like a woman,
but like a witch. The shepherd, who was very afraid, refused her water
and also ran away. When Sussi got back she found no footsteps there;
because of the wind blowing all the footsteps were gone. She was
stunned - now where should she go? She had lost her path, and she
started weeping. And repeating the name, "Poono, Poono," she left her
body in the pain of separation of her beloved.
Meanwhile, when the intoxication of the wine had passed and Poono
realized that he had left his beloved there, he started back on the same
camel to meet Sussi. On the way he also came to that oasis, and he saw a
fresh grave-because when the shepherd came back, he saw Sussi as a
woman (not a witch) and he dug the grave and placed her in it. So when
Poono saw this grave, he asked the shepherd, "Who has died here?
Whose grave is there?" He answered, "I don't know who she was. It was
some woman who was repeating the name, 'Poono, Poono,' and she
was weeping like mad, and she left the body."
So when Poono knew that it was Sussi, his beloved, and she had left
the body for him, he got down from his camel. Because his love was real
and he also was in the pain of separation, the grave was torn apart and
the earth gave way so that he could join Sussi, his beloved.
So, in the same way, I was always weeping for my Poono, for my Kirpal,
since I was six years old. For thirty-five years my search for Him
was always going on. Just as Poono came by himself to quench the thirst
of Sussi, that God Kirpal came to me by Himself, to quench my thirst.
But when He left the body, when He left me alone in this world, at that
time not even this earth gave way to let me go and dwell in it.
So all the disciples of Kirpal - everyone - should have such a love for
the Master as Sussi had for Poono. Without love for the Master one
cannot progress.
Sussi and Poono, Layla and Majnu - all these lovers - their love was
not full of lust, it was chaste. Their love was not like the worldly
people's love, and that's why the Saints and Mahatmas very often speak
of Layla and Majnu and Sussi and Poono. In Gurmat Siddhant, Master has
frequently used stories of Layla and Majnu to demonstrate real love.
Numerous wounds have come to me and I'm surrounded by
those who have wounds.
This is why, when Master leaves the body, numerous problems come up
for the disciple. He cannot sleep. Whether he is sleeping on the ground
or on a comfortable bed, he always feels that he is on a bed of rocks. No
bed is comfortable for him.
The disciple who has realized that his Master is the All-Owner, will not
accept any kingdom of this world, and he will not accept any worldly
wealth from the Master-the disciple who knows that his Master is
Almighty.
When Hazur came to our ashram [in Kunichuk], at that time I owned
that property. I offered Him all that property and land, and told Him,
"Please accept this." He told me, "No. I have come here only for you
and not for all these things." And that property is now deserted; nobody
goes there. Now I am living in one small hut. Those people who have
visited me in India know what kind of place I am living in now.
I thought that only I had this pain, but there is pain
everywhere.
Everywhere the fire is burning and all are weeping.
Now when I was weeping in the pain of separation for my Master, I was
understanding myself as the only one whose condition was like this, as
the only one weeping in the pain of separation. But my Master had told
me that when His Master left the body, He left his own house in the
ashram, and how He was weeping; and when I remembered this, I real-
ized that everyone in this world whose Master leaves the body has the
same condition.
Bulleh Shah says, "I thought that only I had this pain, but when I
looked, I saw that in every house the same fire is burning; the same
fire of separation."
When I had to suffer the pain, then I realized how difficult it
was.
Hazur took two hours to tell me about His condition when His Master,
Sawan Singh, left the body. And at that time, I felt that what He was
telling me was ordinary; I didn't understand its real meaning. But when
the same thing happened to me, and I went through the separation and
all the things He had told me about when His Master left the body, then I
realized how difficult it becomes for the disciple when his Master leaves
this world; how difficult it becomes for him to bear the pain of separa-
tion.
On the day when Master told me about the pain of separation which
He had when His Master left the body, I had this in my mind: that I
should not go with Master at that time because He had given Satsang and
time to many people and He had worked hard all day. I thought that
maybe Master should go alone in the car so that He could rest on the
back seat. I could go in some other car. But Master called me and said,
"I want to talk with you about something important." I told Him,
"Master, please rest because You have given so much time to other peo-
ple for these two hours. You should rest." But He said, "No, you come.
I want to talk with you about something important." What was the
important thing He talked about with me? For the whole two hours He
talked about separation and what His condition was when His Master
left the body. And when He left the body, I realized that I was
experiencing that and that Master wanted to tell me then, "This will
come on you also and you will also have to bear this pain."
Those who enjoy in their in-laws' house, enjoy
in their parents' house too.
Those with whom their Beloved is pleased, sleep
on comfortable beds.
Those who have real love for the Master here, only they will be able to
have real love for the Master in the beyond. Those with whom Master is
pleased, only they can enter This Kingdom; only they can enter Sach
Khand; only those souls can be happy.
The house where the owner doesn't speak is an empty place.
The body in which the Master is not talking with the soul - in which
Master is not manifested - is empty, because the owner of the body is not
there.
I have searched for you in all the cities.
Where should I send you the letter?
Now from inside the voice is coming: "I have searched for you in all the
cities, in all the towns. To what address should I send your letter? You
have not even told me where you have gone."
Many dear ones come to me and say they have some difficulty in loving
and in thinking of me. But I tell them, "I don't have any difficulty in
loving you or in thinking about you. Within all of you, even in the
animals, the birds, the trees and the leaves, within everything in this
world, I am seeing my beloved Kirpal everywhere. So I don't have any
problem in loving all of you."
In the time of Master Sawan Singh there was one disciple named
Wazira. Whenever he walked, if he found any animal or anything, he
would embrace it saying, "Sawan Shah lives in this.
My heart throbs restlessly as it climbs the cart of love.
When the soul is climbing on the cart of love, it has to experience a lot
of pain. Only those can climb on the cart who are able to undergo this pain
and bear it. Those who say they have sat for so many hours, or have pain
in their knees, or pain in their legs - they cannot climb on the cart of
love.
0 Mohammed, Gracious One, hold my hand.
This is a request in front of Hazur Kirpal: "0 Almighty Kirpal, owner of
all this world, all this creation, don't leave hold of our hand-catch our
hand and save us."
Taking the first step is like crossing a bridge
over a river of fire.
I am telling you daily that the practices of Sant Mat are difficult in the
beginning. At first it is just like crossing a river of fire. But for a
lover there is no difficulty, no pain, no problem, nothing.
A Haji does the pilgrimage to Mecca, whereas I see Your Face.
Now people say they have difficulty in doing Simran, they have difficulty in
fixing their attention, they have difficulty in one thing or another.
But for the complete lover there is no difficulty. He says, "There is no
need for me to do Simran, because I am seeing Your beautiful face and
all my meditations are done. My meditation is only to look at Your
beautiful face." Only Master has seen and manifested Naam, and those
who become in love with the Master, they get everything; because in
Master there is Naam.
Mastana Ji of Baluchistan told Master Sawan Singh: "For me Akal
Guru, Wahi Guru, Radhasoami,* are all dead. Only You are life for
me." But Sawan Singh said, "Mastana, don't talk like that." But he
replied, "No; I have seen You and only You, and Radhasoami and all of
them are dead. Only You are for me."
* Various names of God.
Come, 0, merciful Inayat, as You have attracted my heart.
The timeless Lord came in the body of Kirpal and He quenched the intense
longing which I had had from my childhood.
I am not like Him - the veil of egoism is there.
But the love which my Master gave me - I was not able to love Him in the
same way. I had the veil of egoism in me. When Hazur first came to my
ashram He planned to stay only a few minutes because He had to go further.
But He was there five or six hours. When Master told me He had to
go, I told him, "You have pulled me using the hook of love. Now where
are You going to go?" I told Master, "Just look out there." There were
20,000 people waiting for Him, not one of whom was initiated. When
Hazur saw the yearning of those souls sitting there, He felt very gracious
and he showered much grace on them, so that everybody saw Light instead
of Hazur there, and everybody said that it seemed to them that Master
was talking only with them. That was very great Grace that Master showered
on them all.
Look at the condition of my poor soul - I'm drowning.
I'm afraid in this first night in Your union.
Now in the beginning, when we are starting our meditations, if our body
becomes numb, we feel we are going to die and we are afraid of death.
We feel that one night is one year. But later, when our Surat is connected
inside, we start getting interest in our meditations. If we are awake at
night, we request the night, "Please grow longer and don't end: because
if day comes my love with my Beloved will become disconnected. So
grow longer, please."
Going within, the glory of Master is reached.
Removing the first cover, my face is diverted towards Master.
When the disciple is meditating according to the instructions of the
Master, and keeping the commandments of the Master, and practicing
whatever the Master has told him to do, when he reaches the first plane,
what happens to him? His face is diverted toward the face of the Master.
I've received the Sound of God, and so the flower of my heart
has blossomed.
In the beginning we hear the Shabd, but it doesn't pull us up. But when
we forget our mind openings and come to the eye center, we hear the
voice of God Kirpal. Then our hearts blossom like flowers, because we
hear the Sound of Kirpal. Then the dear one doesn't even know Who is
calling him and Who is sounding the Sound within him; he only understands
that the Master is there Who is pulling him up.
Only to make us understand that Sound is there, the sound of bell or
conch will come. The big bell will come. But when he goes within, the
thing which he experiences cannot be described. His condition becomes
different. Outwardly Saints say, "God is within you," but when one
goes within, he sees only Master there. Then He realizes that nobody is
God except his Master.
When Kabir Sahib took Indra Mati within and she saw that Sat
Purush and Kabir Sahib were the same, Indra Mad said, "Why didn't
you tell me before that you were Sat Purush?" And Kabir Sahib said,
"If I had told you this before, you would not have believed me. You
would have said, `How can this ordinary man be the owner of Sach
Khand? How can he be Sat Purush?'"
I am Your servant. I am at Your service, whenever You call me.
When he goes within and listens to Kirpal there, after that he says to
Kirpal, "I am always at your disposal. Whatever work You tell me to do in
this world, I will do it. I see only You everywhere."
To be present always in Your court is my prayer.
O Almighty Kirpal, I am always present in Your court and this is my only
prayer: Whether I am asleep or awake, let me be always in Your court.
0, Bulleh, the heart is burning with the fire of separation
from the Master.
In the heart of Ajaib the fire was burning, of the separation from Kirpal.
You know that if by mistake we step on a small spark of fire, how much
pain we feel. In the same way, so much fire, so much heat, was burning
in the heart of Ajaib for his beloved Kirpal.
When Hazur left the body, people were very concerned, not about His
death, but about His property. Everybody was asking, who is going to be
the successor? Whose name has Master nominated? But the real lovers
are not concerned about wealth or successors; they are in the love of their
Master, and they only sigh and weep because they have been separated
from their Master.
The path of love is very difficult; it does not decrease.
The path of Love is very difficult; it never decreases, it always increases.
Everybody calls himself a lover, but we don't know that lovers can cross
the ocean in the wink of an eye, but we are not even ready to cross a small
stream.
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