WHEN THE LONGING ARISES
by
Sant Ajaib Singh Ji
July 29, 1977
Bucaramanga, Colombia
Give me thy Darshan 0 Form of Naam,
Without You my body is in pain.
This is the bani of Sant Kabir Sahib Ji Maharaj. In this hymn he talks
about yearning and love. Love is that Almighty God, that timeless God
which is all-pervading. When the intense longing arises within us, at
that time the soul wants to meet that love. Just as before it starts
raining, the clouds come together, in the same way when that yearning
is created within us, then no doubt remains within us that now our
soul is ready to meet the love.
The same yearning was created within Queen Indra Mati, who was the
queen of the kingdom of Garh Girnar, and whose husband's name was
Chandra Vijay. In the olden days Hindu ladies were not allowed to come
in front of the other people with their faces unveiled. They would
always hide themselves in the palaces or homes. Because Queen Indra
Mati had the yearning to meet God, and because she could not go
outside the palace to search for any Mahatma or Sadhu, she would go
and stand on the roof of the palace, and all day she would look in all
directions to see if any Sadhu was coming. She had so much yearning to
meet God within her, that even though at that time there was no
perfect Master living on the earth, still Nature was firm in its law.
As Master used to say, it is the law of Nature to supply food for the
hungry and water for the thirsty. So when the desire within Queen
Indra Mati grew more and more, that desire was heard by Kabir Sahib in
Sach Khand. This took place in the Third Age. So Kabir Sahib came down
in the form of a Sadhu named Karunami to quench the thirst of that
Queen Indra Mati.
One day when Queen Indra Mati was standing on the roof looking for any
Sadhu that might be coming that way, she saw one approaching, and it
was Kabir Sahib. Because ladies were not allowed to go outside their
houses Indra Mati sent her slave out to call that Sadhu. But when her
slave went to call Kabir Sahib, he refused to come in the palace,
saying, "I am a renunciate Sadhu. What have I to do with palaces and
kings and queens? I have never been to any palace or any kingdom."
When that slave brought back this message to Queen Indra Mati, she was
very surprised to hear that, because she had thought that after one
message that Sadhu would come to the palace. Who wouldn't like to come
and enjoy the company of kings and queens? But when she heard that
that Sadhu was not going to come, she thought that there was some
greatness in him. And because within her the desire to meet God was so
tremendous, she couldn't stop herself; breaking all the limits of
public shame she came out of the palace and bowed down at the feet of
Kabir Sahib. She requested him to visit her palace and eat food with
her. But Kabir Sahib said, "I have never gone to any palace and I will
not go to your palace either."
Again Indra Mati was very surprised to hear that, because she had
thought that this Sadhu would not refuse her invitation. But when
Kabir did so, she had much faith in him. And she thought that maybe
this Sadhu was a real one. Anyway, after giving many requests to
Kabir, he finally agreed to visit her palace. When Kabir came in the
palace, she fixed a small tent-like covering over his head, and after
making him sit on a dais, she washed his feet. Then she told Kabir,
"Now I am going to make food for you." But Kabir Sahib said, "No, my
body has not ex-perienced the taste of food, because my body is not
made up of the five elements as other people's bodies are."
When Indra Mati heard that Sadhu say that his body was not made up of
five elements and that he had never eaten any food, again she was very
surprised; and after that, she had full faith in him. She came to the
con-clusion that he was a perfect Sadhu.
Queen Indra Mati begged Kabir to give her some knowledge about God. So
He gave her initiation and told her to do the meditation. He gave her
one word, and also taught her about the Negative Power. He told her
that the Negative Power can come in His form also, "but he cannot copy
my forehead and eyes." And he said, "You should always use this weapon
of Shabd before the Negative Power." So Kabir Sahib left that place
after giving initiation to Queen Indra Mati. On the next morning when
the Queen got up, after bathing, when she was just going to wipe her
face, the Negative Power came in the form of a snake and bit her on
the forehead. As the queen was very dear to the king, he called all
the doctors to remove the poison of the snake. Queen Indra Mati was
lying on the death bed, and when all the doctors came and they
examined the queen's body, they said that there was nothing they could
do for her because the snake was very poisonous and there was no
medicine to remove that poison. They even told the king that anyone
who sat near the queen would get the effect of that poison and would
probably also die.
Because Queen Indra Mati had so much faith in Kabir and Sadhus, and
because Kabir had told her not to worry and to use Simran as a weapon,
she kept on doing Simran. She told her king also, "Don't worry about
me-I'm not going to die, because I have such a weapon given by my
Master which can prevent the effect of the poison." And after that,
because she was doing Simran, the poison of the Negative Power didn't
have any effect on her, so the Negative Power went back to Lord Vishnu
and told him the whole story. And he said, "Not even my poison works
on her, because within her there is the kingdom of Shabd, and I cannot
be effective in the kingdom of Shabd."
Lord Vishnu replied to him, "Now you go in the form of the Sadhu, and
in that way try to deceive her." So the Negative Power came in the
form of Kabir Sahib. But the Negative Power cannot copy the forehead
and eyes of the Saint, so he had all the parts of the body of Kabir,
but not the eyes and forehead. When he came to Queen Indra Mati, he
told her, "You see I am your Master and when the snake tried to harm
you, I saved you. So now you should respect me and bow down at my
feet." Queen Indra Mati knew that he wasn't the real Master, so she
didn't pay any homage to him. Again that Negative Power who had come
in the form of Kabir insisted that she should respect him, repeating
that he was her master and that he had saved her from the poison, of
the snake. He even told her, "In the future I will also save you.
Because you are under my protection, I am worried about you; you
should pay respect to me." But Indra Mati told him, "No matter how
beautiful a crow's face is, still he cannot become a swan. That's why
you must go back, because I know your reality." When Queen Indra Mati
did not obey the Negative Power, he kept on coming nearer and nearer
to her. And she kept on do-ing Simran more and more. In the end the
Negative Power left her, say-ing, "You obstinate woman, you are not
even believing in your Master." Then Queen Indra Mati got a great slap
from the Negative Power and she cried for help from Kabir Sahib,
saying, "Oh Satguru, please come and help me." And at that moment,
Kabir Sahib appeared there. As soon as Kabir appeared the Negative
Power who had come in the form of Kabir disappeared. Kabir didn't care
about the meditation of Queen Indra Mati; He didn't even see whether
she was vacating the nine openings and leaving the body or not. But He
took Queen Indra Mati right up to Sach Khand at that moment. Before
that Queen Indra Mati was not believing, because she didn't know that
Kabir Sahib was Sat Purush and the owner of all creation. She was just
understanding Him as the ordinary Sadhu or Mahatma. But when Kabir
took her right into Sach Khand, and when the queen saw that He and Sat
Purush were one and the same she asked Him, "Even after become the All
Owner of Sat Purush, why did you like to call yourself as the dass or
servant? Why didn't you tell me that you were Sat Purush?" Kabir Sahib
replied, "If I had told you before, you would not have believed in Me.
You would have said, `How can an ordinary sadhu become the owner of
the universe?' "
On the way to Sach Khand, Queen Indra Mati had seen how the Negative
Power was giving troubles to the souls who were not under the
protection of the Master. So because she loved her husband very much,
she requested Kabir Sahib to liberate him also. But Kabir Sahib
replied, "He is not believing in Me, and he is not going to take
initiation from Me. Until he believes in Me and takes initiation from
Me, how can I liberate him?" But Queen Indra Mati requested Kabir
Sahib, "By using any means you will, please liberate him."
So Queen Indra Mati was authorized by Kabir Sahib to come in this
world and liberate her husband. When she came, she was not in her
original body, having come in the form of soul. When soul reaches to
Sach Khand its radiance becomes equal to sixteen outer moons of this
world. That's why when she came to this world to liberate her husband,
she was so radiant.
When Queen Indra Mati told her husband to follow her, he didn't
believe her. He said, "I don't see your body; how can I believe that
you are my wife?" Gurumukhs are given full authority from Sat Purush
to liberate souls any way they can, so Queen Indra Mati told her
husband, "Contemplate my original form as your wife." The king had
spent all his life with his wife the queen, so that contemplation was
easily perfected in him. As soon as he remembered the form of his
wife, Queen Indra Mati took him right up.
Because of that great yearning within her, Queen Indra Mati had gone
on the rooftop every day, looking for a Sadhu; and after taking
initiation, she had realized the true greatness of the Master. That's
why in this hymn she says, "Oh, form of Naam, give me Your darshan,
because without Your darshan, my body is in pain."
Without you I am always unhappy, and am repeating
"Give me Thy darshan face to face."
She says, "There is so much pain in my body that I cannot sleep at
night; neither do I have any peace in the days. I feel just like one
who has a deep knife wound; he has so much pain that he cannot sleep.
He is always cry-ing in pain. In the same way, without your darshan my
body is in so much pain that I cannot rest day or night. Always the
call, `Oh, Satguru, Satguru,' is coming out of my mouth." She says, "I
am not asking for any worldly thing from you. Just give me your
darshan, face to face."
Listen to my prayer, 0 beloved Master,
I sacrifice myself on you. Do not delay.
"Oh Satguru, listen to my request. Do not delay, because I am
sacrific-ing myself on You." All public shame falls away from one in
whom the fire of love starts burning. Just as the rainbird is calling
for the raindrop, so such souls always cry for darshan of the Satguru.
Neither do I desire food nor can I sleep.
Always this separation gives me pain.
Now she says, "I have no desire to eat. I don't want sleep either, and
sleep does not come to me. In your separation day and night I am
waiting for Your darshan."
Mahatma Chatardas says, "For the darshan of the Beloved, the beautiful
Master, thousands of people have become fakirs living in the jungles.
For the darshan of that beautiful God, their body has become thin and
dry. But still He has not given His darshan to them." In that way,
thousands of hearts are unhappy, waiting for His darshan. Kabir says,
"All the world is happy because they all eat and sleep. Only servant
Kabir is unhappy because he always remains awake and doesn't eat much
food. He always weeps for the darshan of the Beloved."
Kabir Sahib says, "Nobody gets the Beloved through pleasure. Those who
have got the Beloved, have done so only by having pain. If the Beloved
could be achieved by enjoying pleasures, then what was the use of
working hard and experiencing pain?"
Trying every means, I've failed in getting peace of mind;
Without seeing you my soul cannot survive.
Now the soul says, "Remembering you, all peace of mind has left me.
Without seeing you, I cannot get that peace."
The body is burning and the soul is experiencing much heat.
Now who can bear such hard pain?
Now the soul says, "There is such a great heat in me that cannot be
cooled by any man. It is like feeling cold inside from the fever of
malaria. No matter how many blankets or comforters you put on, still
that cold cannot be removed. There is no one but you, who can remove
that."
Streams of water are coming from my eyes;
Daily I look your way.
Now the soul says, "Whenever I remember you, tears come from my eyes.
My eyes are in pain, because I am always looking to the way where
you come. I am waiting for your arrival."
Forgive my sins, my bad qualities;
Don't look at my faults.
Now the soul says, "Don't look at my faults, because I don't have any
merits in me. Whatever sins or bad deeds I have done, forgive me for
You are the liberator of sinners.
Don't forget I'm yours.
"You are the liberator of the sinners; forgiving their sins you are giving
them liberation. Do not look at my sins, but maintain your reputation by
liberating me."
Home, courtyard, nothing brings me pleasure -
I've become stone and cannot even walk.
Now Kabir says, "My body has become of stone. I don't like anything - not
my home, not outside."
Looking at the Way my eyes are full of tears and pain.
Do not break Your relation with me.
"I am looking at the way you are to come. I am trying to keep my
Simran going constantly so that I will not forget you even for a
moment."
Give me your hand.
Cut down all these chains of attachment.
Now the soul is crying, "Hold my hand. Up till now You have been
releasing sinners. Cut the attachments for me also."
As the fish dies without water,
My body is in pain without You.
Now he gives a very beautiful example to make you understand our
condition. He says, "Just as the fish out of water flops and dies - in
the same way, without your darshan, I'm also flopping, and I'm also going
to die."
Das Kabir makes this prayer:
Please listen to my plea, 0 great Master.
Now Kabir Sahib says, "Oh, Sat Purush, listen to my request and take
me out of this suffering world." Because few saints of the present time
have these qualities, it is not easy to find one. Nevertheless, only the
judge of the time will settle our lawsuit and solve our problems. The
living teacher can give us knowledge, and the living husband can produce
children. In the same way, the Saint Satguru of the present time can give
us the knowledge of Naam and connect us with it.
The religion, community or group which says that there is no living
Master, or that there can be no Saint, does not want to realize God;
because Saints have come in all the religions, and nowhere have they
written that there will be no Saint after them, and that nobody will come
into this world to liberate the souls. They have never written that books
or scriptures will guide you and that only by reading them you can attain
liberation. But they have always emphasized the importance of the living
Master. The Masters always tell us, "Before us many Saints came in this
world and after us many other Saints will come to liberate you."
If we wish for the school teacher who left school fifty years ago to
teach our children, that is not possible. In the same way, Dhanwantri
and Lukman were two famous doctors of long ago. They could even put
life into the dead body. But if we get sick and say that they should come
and give us medicine, that is not possible. We need to go to the present
doctor. And only by taking his medication can our sickness be cured.
It is the same with the Mahatmas and Saints of the past. There is no
doubt that we have love and respect for them. We understand them as
God. But still, if we say that they should come and connect our soul with
Shabd, that is not possible. It doesn't matter how much we love and
respect them, or how much we do for them, still they will never come to
connect our soul with the Shabd. We need to go to the present Master.
Only He can connect our soul with the Shabd.
Swami Ji Maharaj says, "Don't rely on the past Masters. I am telling
you this for your own good." And then he says, "Go and search for the
living One. I'm telling you this for your own good."
But what is our condition? Reading their praise in the books, we are
relying on them. But still our mind is in illusion. We have never seen
them, nevertheless we firmly state that they will come and protect us. But
in that case we cannot have full faith in them, because our mind will be
thinking about whether they will really come and protect us or not. Who
knows what the result is going to be?
Negative Power will not let us go free if we are relying on anyone. He
will punish us for every single bad deed.
Once there was one old Muslim man from a place called Dhaba, and
he could not do meditation. He came to Master Kirpal and asked him,
"If I go on repeating 'Kirpal, Kirpal' will I get liberation, and will I be
free from the angel of death?" So Master replied, "There are thirty-five
hundred Kirpals wandering in this world. If the angel of death comes to
disturb you and asks you, `Which Kirpal?' then what will you say? At
that time you should say, `The Kirpal of Delhi.' Only then will they leave
you."
Only Saints can liberate us from this world. Kabir says, "The sky is on
fire, and that fire is coming down. If there were no Saints in this world, it
would have been burnt."
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