The European Commision has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Comunity than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, her Majesty's government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish".
- In the first year, "s" will replace the "c". Sertainly this will make the sivil servants
jump with joy.
- The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion
and keyboards kan have one less letter.
- There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like fotograf
20% shorter.
- In the third year, publick akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
- Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, wich have always
ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the
silent "e" in the language is disgraseful, and it should go away.
- By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z"
and "w" with "v".
- During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be droped from vords kontaining "ou";
similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
- After zi fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or
difikultis and evrirun wil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
ZE DREM VIL FINALI KIM TRU
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