Out of the inferno of World War -- no, wait, we've used that intro before!  Okay, well, this one's about a monkey!  

U-666 

It was designated U-666, and it was the deadliest submarine in the Navy of the Third Reich.  Unfortunately for Hitler and the Nazis, most of U-666's deadliness was directed toward its own crew. 

It would be unfair to blame the boat itself.  Responsibility lay entirely with the Captain, one Sigfried Shuckgrubber. 

"Did you say, 'Shicklegruber?'" the navy recruiter had asked. 

At that moment, the pet monkey on Sigfried Shuckgrubber's shoulder chose to start screeching.  Sigfriend cupped his ears and said, "Jah, jah!" 

Due to the misunderstanding of names, it was assumed that Shuckgrubber was a relative of Hitler's, and so it is a wonder that he ended up in command of only a submarine, and not the entire German Navy.  But commander of a submarine he became, and no one challenged his right to take his monkey aboard. 
  
It was also during that time frame that the Supra-Enigma coding machine came out.  This machine had several features not found in the earlier version.  In particular, it could encode entire words at the press of a single key, and even correct spelling and grammatical errors. 

This was very important to Adolf Hitler, who was a spelling and grammar nazi even before he was a political one. 

"I regard the deployment of this device as the higest priority," Hitler told his admirals.  "Therefore I want it tested under the command of the most trustworthy officer you have available." 

What Hitler meant was:  choose someone you think is reliable.  What his admirals heard was:  choose my relative, Shuckgrubber. 

As it turned out, this misunderstanding had as much impact on the war as the time when Hitler said to his generals, "Invade Russia during winter? Yeah, right -- you just go ahead and do that!" 

The Supra-Enigma coding machine might have been safe on U-666, except that Shuckgrubber's monkey kept jumping on the keys.  And so the machine randomly broadcast messages:  "Enemy convoy spotted at such-and-such.  Enemy patrol at so-and-so."   

American convoys crossed the Atlantic unimpeded, while the German Navy chased monkey-generated phantoms.  Finally, however, the German Admiralty traced the bogus messages to U-666.   

Hitler was so furious, he lapsed into a thick German accent as he screamed:  "I VANT DAT U-BOAT KABOOMED!" 

Unfortunately for the German war effort, U-666 was in drydock at the time.  The Luftwaffe, being terrified of Hitler and not liking the Navy anyway, obediently wiped out not only the submarine and drydock, but also the entire shipyard, thus paralyzing all German U-boat construction and thereby capitulating the War in the Atlantic to the Allies. 

In the aftermath of the shipyard bombing, an investigating Luftwaffe officer found the monkey alive and well amid the submarine wreckage.   

"What is this?"  he demanded. 

"Shuckgrubber's monkey," came the reply. 

And so the monkey was brought to Hitler's HQ. 

"Monkey?" Hitler screamed.  "I haff no monkey!" 

But then the monkey jumped onto Hitler's shoulders, and began grooming lice from Hitler's hair.  And so it was love at first sight. 

Years later, an American captain found the monkey in Hitler's bunker, holding a smoking gun to the erstwhile Fuhrer's punctured forehead.  The American captain grinned and held out his arms.     

"Ah, Bonzo!" he cried.  "Ronnie misses you!"