Author: Syrai

Fandom: Original // Anguish Series

Rating: T (PG-13) for now.

Genre: Fantasy // Sci-fi etc

Status: WiP

Summary: Second part of "Anguish series" - sequel to ‘Shades of Truth.’ Set about three years after the incidents of SoT. (You might want to read it to truly understand what’s going on in here) Romy’s life changes dramatically when the hidden witch gene seems to be awakening and all the sudden, she becomes the prey being hunted by her own friends. Now the question is, can she still be saved or will her mother’s fate be also hers?

Disclaimer: Still mine.

A/N: Well, thanks for all the peeps that have reviewed. Not joking when I say they’re what makes me want to write. If it goes as planned, then there will be only one chapter, possibly two after this one and then the story is finished. I feel this is more of a filler chapter than anything else, but it has to be done or we won't see the ending. Secrets, some of them at least, must be revealed huh?

This chapter, for the weirdest reason ever, was inspired by Titanic soundtrack… and man, I don't even LIKE the movie all that much. I'm just sucker for classic music, I guess.

_Awakening_

Shit happens. It’s the way of life. Crappy things that we don’t like to experience but have no other choice. Most of the time there’s not a damn thing you can do to stop it or to make it better. Why? Because it just doesn’t work like that. You think it would, but it doesn’t. First you remember the old saying, where there’s will, there’s a way, and it gives you hope of a better tomorrow as if you could actually alter the way of fate, but you know what? Bullshit, says I. Soon you realize it’s just that. A saying. Something that people used to say to be less scared of the future. Trust me, not even a hint of realism has been hidden under that statement. The guy who said it was probably drunk anyway.

It’s almost funny. The fact you think you’re in control and the next minute you’re forced to accept the very different truth. You’re not. Never have been, never will be. Life lets you believe so, but in the end nothing you say or decide to do is going to change things. You’re not strong enough to mess with God’s plans. Not good enough, either. But it’s ok, because it’s your mistake and yours alone. You should just keep that in mind, that’s all. Remember your place in this universe. You shouldn’t have too high expectations when it comes to your own abilities to defy Him; clearly it’s a fight you’ll lose.

Maybe if I had known all this days ago, things would be better now. If I had accepted it, I wouldn’t have let myself believe this can actually end up to my liking and I wouldn’t have let my mind create a picture of what’s to come. A picture painted with gentle brushes and beautiful colors... with affection. When it’s all over, optimism leaves a bad taste to your mouth, does it not?

"So, you got out ok?"

I lift my chin from my arms to look over my shoulder sighing. I’m sitting on a very uncomfortable chair, half lying on top of a steely table, back bent and just listening to the words changed behind me. It’s been few hours since we arrived here, maybe more and I’m already ready to flee. Get out. Not because I haven’t learnt to like them, but because at this point, I couldn’t care less. All I want is to get drunk, forget, go to bed and sleep it all away. Wake up as a new person with new worries and problems. Am I really asking for too much?

Of course I am. Aren’t we always?

"Looks like it, doesn’t it?" I answer and Kaylee nods ignoring my sarcastic tone. She’s nervous to say the least and shocked to see me again I suppose. Worried beyond limits, too. You can’t really use it against her, for we’re all pretty goddamn worried. More than worried though, I’m confused. Also sick and tired of this game the Centre keeps playing with me. It’s never going to end, is it?

I can run all I want, but I can't hide.

"He doesn’t know where we are, right?" Patrick questions.

I don’t even bother to give him a poisonous glare. God, how stupid does he think I am? Endangering my own safety, well mine and Chelsea’s is one thing, endangering theirs completely another. He should know that by now for I’ve given him no reason whatsoever not to trust me. Man, I hate when people question me like that.

"What do you think? I didn’t tell him where the new base is, so I guess he doesn’t." My tone is sarcastic but hell, he deserves it. "He knows nothing important of you."

He. Trey.

Leaving him behind has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life even though it didn’t need much. There probably would’ve been better ways to deal with it, but so what? It worked fine with me. I told Chelsea to wait in the car and to Trey I told Patrick had come to pick her up while he had been getting breakfast. He looked like he believed me, but the silence made me think differently. He really didn’t. So, what did I do? I drugged his water and after a little kissing and hugging, I handcuffed him to the bed. Naturally he thought I had different agenda on my mind and at first I went with his assumptions… while doing so, I waited for the drug to take its toll on him and when it did, I simply left. That’s it. No notes, no explanations. If Raven was right, then he’ll know why I left anyway.

If he wasn't right, then… well that sucks then, doesn't it? Too late to think about it now.

You know, I didn’t even look back.

We stopped at some phone booth and I called Patrick just to let him know I was coming to see him. Didn’t feel like dropping in without telling first because usually that just leads into shooting and bleeding and people getting killed for no reason. Naturally he couldn’t say no, although I’m pretty sure he first thought I’m going to see him with a fucking SWAT team on my heels. Hence the hesitating tone. The guy has some serious trust issues.

"What you gonna do now?" This time it’s Morgan speaking.

Duh? Go get drunk. Forget this ever happened. Live in a dream world for just a little while longer and pretend that at some point my life took another direction. But it’s not what I say.

"I don’t know… As long as you can get Chelsea to safety I’ll do anything." My sincere tone surprises even myself. The fact I actually meant it, surprises me even more. "I want her to get the family she deserves." And frankly, the sooner the better. I want her to get it now for if I spend another day with her, I won’t be able to let go.

Morgan, as expected, can’t let the opportunity to pass. She has this un-fucking-believable ability to fuck up my head and twist my thoughts – get inside my head and poke my deepest fears and dreams like it was nothing serious… as if I wasn't a human being. She’s talented like that. "It’s obvious she wants to stay with you", she says making me flinch. Don’t say it, ok? Just don’t. Shut up.

"It took an hour just to put her into bed."

Fine, say it then.

"She kept crying your name over and over again."

What is it with you, Morgan? First you need to throw the knife at me and then you absolutely have to twist it, pull it out and stab me again? You really want me to feel pain, don’t you?

"Her folks are dead, Morgan. I’m all she’s got", I snap angrily trying not to sound too harsh. "If it were you in her position, wouldn't you do the same? Grab the first thing you can and try and survive?"

Morgan, she should know better. Of course the girl is clinging onto the first helping hand in the sight. Too bad it happens to be mine… it’s not my fault. How could it be? I saved her life, because Patrick and his gang couldn’t. Blame them. If only I could make the little girl understand why I’m doing what I’m doing; why it’s better for her not to be around me any longer.

"And you seem to be fine with that", Kaylee points out cynically. For fucks sake, what are they trying to do? It's some sort of let's-all-be-against-Romy-day isn't it?

Enough of this bullshit, really. They’re just playing mind games with me to punish me for all the things I’ve done in my past. I changed, didn't I? Doesn't that count at all?'

Game over, damnit. "Can you", I start, "or can you not do it?"

Kaylee folds her arms tilting her head. Obviously, she’s about to say something, but hesitates. Praise the holy amazement, she hesitates? The look on her face gives away the insecurity she's feeling. What an enjoyable moment it is… but it can only last for so long.

"Yes… but you know, she’ll never be safe in a family where they don’t know about her abilities."

Oh great, this is just what I needed… "They can’t protect her", she continues without giving me a chance to disagree and adds, "She’ll never be her in that kind of place."

Okay, fine, I can see from where she’s coming. You think I haven’t thought about that? But it doesn’t change anything, does it? It shouldn’t. They so quickly assume it’s better for her to be around witches; be around her kinds and in a way of course, it’s true. I don’t deny that, no reason for me to do so. She would grow up knowing what she is without having to hide her powers. She would learn to accept her abilities and herself and she’d know there’s nothing wrong with her… she’s just special. Alright, it’s an ideal vision of the future. But what if normal childhood and a normal future is what she needs? If she has a chance to live her life away from all this… isn’t it worth taking the risk?

But still… "Are you honestly suggesting I’d take her?" The thought doesn’t quite leave me alone. As strange as the idea is to me, I can still see her sitting in this wooden swing hanging from a tree; see myself standing on the veranda and watching her. Enjoying the mere purity of the scene. I can actually see her as a part of my family. Our family. Just her and me, safe. God, get a grip girl!

The look on Morgan’s face is very similar to the look on her sister’s eyes. Like they’d know something I don’t. Or something I don’t want them to know. Either way, it freaks me out. Actually, I’m pretty sure it’s something they know and I do not want to know. A new way for them to punch me in the face through a simple sentence.

"To me it seems you have nothing against that."

That girl has been brought on earth by devil himself. "Forget Morgan, I can’t take her!" I snap at her.

"Can’t or won’t?"

What is she, deaf? What's the difference anyway. I can't and I won't. "I can’t take her", I say again.

But the question is, am I really speaking to her or myself?

"I’m not fit to take her. Period." To Morgan, I decide. I’m talking to Morgan to make her see that life ain’t a fairytale. You’d think she of all people would know how the world works, but no. Grow up, Morgan.

Now both Kaylee and Morgan stay silent. Although, instead of saying anything more, they do exchange knowing looks. Do I hate when they do that, or what? It feels like they’re capable of exchanging a whole conversation by using nothing but looks and every time there’s something that can’t be told to me. They and their dirty little secrets.

Finally a male voice clears his throat. "So, Romy, is there another reason for you to be here? You could’ve just left her but instead you stayed." Now it’s Patrick’s turn to take part of the heated argument and calm the situation down a bit. Strangely, he hasn’t really shown any emotions at all yet, not that I would’ve spotted them if he has. He’s just been standing there behind my back, calmly talking with Morgan and Kaylee… mainly it’s been the two girls talking; yapping and napping and babbling and so on and he's just listened to them.

I knew we'd come to this, but I'm not that eager to tell my plan anymore. "There’s… there’s something I want you to help me with", I say carefully avoiding his eyes. After hearing what I have on my mind, he’ll probably throw me out and wish me good luck. On my own. I can’t really blame him if that’s how it turns out. Think about it, what rights do I really have to ask him to do something that might expose their location, huh?

For what?

For my peace of mind.

Well, I guess it's a valuable goal, right? To me, at least. That's all that matters, after all.

"Are you out of your mind, Romy? This is insane. Crazy. Listen to yourself." A long pause. A deep breath. "God, have you heard a single word that’s coming out of your own mouth?"

Honestly?

No.

The good news is, it’s not Patrick yelling at my face. The bad news is, it’s Morgan. A very furious Morgan, if I may add. Morgan may be young, but at times she’s scarier than Patrick and Kaylee together. Might be the eyes, I don’t know. If she doesn’t stop soon, she might go and explode. Hell, she looks about ready to.

Just because I haven't heard, doesn't mean I don't know. I was the one speaking for crying out loud, of course I know.

"I know damn well what I just said", I reply leaning against the edge of the table behind me. I try to stay calm for another lunatic running around the room yelling and cursing is certainly the last thing we need at the moment. Morgan and Kaylee seem to be filling that department quite alright by themselves.

Patrick then again, is… neutral. Patrick hasn’t said a word, which I find very, very weird. In fact, he’s been weird ever since we came here with Chelsea and it bothers me. He’s been too calm, too understanding. Too friendly. Too human.

Why hasn’t he gotten mad at me yet? It was me that risked their safe location by simply coming here, wasn’t it? So why hasn’t he let me hear it already? Is he leaving his own speech till the moment I’m sure the fights are over? When I’m alone in that small cell, exhausted and ready to sleep? Is he going to speak his mind out loud when I’ve let my guard fall down and am weak and tired? Bastard.

"Do you?" I’m brought back from my serious moment by Morgan, who obviously cannot shut up. "Because I’m pretty sure no sane person would suggest that… breaking into the Centre." Morgan shakes her head scorning, "You realize what they’ll do to us if we did it?"

Of course, but… "Only if we got caught." I thought it, but it is Patrick who states it… why, is he really thinking it could be done?

"Jesus Christ, Patrick", Morgan whines throwing her hands into the air, shaking her head, glowering at me and Patrick in turns, "she’s lost it. You’ve lost it." You know, I’ve noticed that when she’s mad, which she quite often seems to be, it sounds like she’d speak with French accent. Yes, I find very amusing.

"Come on, give it a thought", I try. Just like them, isn’t it? Abandoning the idea even before thinking it through. That’s all I’m asking for. A chance.

Patrick doesn’t say anything more. Great, leaves me there to do the all the dirty work. All the begging.

"Yeah that’s just it, Romy, you don’t give a thought to anyone else but yourself, do you? Don't give a shit about others." This time it’s Kaylee speaking with a harsh, angry voice. She’s standing next to her sister with hands crossed, staring at me with such a look that you’d think I’d be dead already. Her icy blue eyes are probably the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, even when they’re filled with anger. Or maybe that makes them even more beautiful? Brings them alive? "You don’t care if we get hurt, you only want your goddamn answers. What do you need them for, huh?"

Of course, with that one devil she caught me. "… I…" I don’t know. But I can’t say it to her, can I? I can’t admit it, not even when she knows it’s the truth.

"Yeah, that’s what I thought", she says cynically, seeing through me. It’s what Kaylee does best, of course. "You can’t even answer that yourself. You want them because you think knowledge would make things better." No, I don’t expect it to make things better. I expect it to make things different. I expect it to tell me the truth.

To walk away from confusion, that’s what I want. Leave it behind.

"Let me tell you, it doesn’t work like that. You’ll most likely end up wishing you had never found out."

True. But I still need to know. If it was her… she’d want to know, too.

"That is, if you live long enough to worry about it!"

I get it! Fuck, I do! "Stop yelling at me!" I spit, spinning around to lean against the table with both hands for some support. I need to breathe, just for a moment. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale… Turning around again, I say; "I get the picture, alright? I’m not asking you to go, if you really don’t want to."

I’m just begging you, but hey, that’s a whole another deal.

"I’m asking the ones that do want to know what the Centre is really about. There's something more than what meets the eye. Something more than we know."

Morgan snorts out loud, but Kaylee’s the one to put it into words with a despising "Right."

Gods. Why am I even bothering to talk about this with those two? I need to talk to Patrick, alone. But not now, I need to calm down first. I won’t get far with him if I keep yelling and shouting and screaming and well, go on with the said pattern. There’s only thing I know will certainly calm me and that’s with what I’m going.

"Now excuse-me", I start taking one final deep, deep breath, finishing the conversation, "I’m gonna go check on Chelsea."

"I just put her to bed!" Morgan points out shrieking, but I don’t care. So what? She stares at me with frustration radiating from her, but it doesn’t change my mind. If something, it only gives me satisfaction of some sort. To be able to push her buttons as much as she’s pushing mine… definitely feels good.

I give her a cold glance as I walk to the door, passing her by. I stop, but only to snap the much needed comment over my shoulder. "Yeah, exactly. Bigger reason to go check on her!"

I can’t see her face anymore, but I’m somewhat sure she’s still glaring at me with wide, flaming eyes. I pull the door open and exit the room, but I can hear her yell after me. "God, you’re annoying, you know that?!"

Yeah, ain’t I just?

I remember I wore my favorite pair of denim jeans and a green blouse that I had got from Raven the previous week. I can't recall why, but I guess it was a present or something. Was it my belated birthday present? I had tied my hair up into a ponytail as usual and the first thing he said to me, before even giving me his name, was: "It looks better open."

There was the famous mysterious smirk on his lips.

Now at first I had no idea what he meant and with Winch standing there next to us, introducing us and all, I didn't feel like asking. Who cared what it meant? This was Trey Crichton, after all. Insane. Every one knew Trey, or rather, his reputation if nothing else. When your mother is that important as his, I guess it's bound to happen. And when you do that much stupid stuff as he… well, the same thing. It's just bound to happen, that's all.

Winch introduced us politely, told us we'd be working together for some period of time, and without further ado, he left me standing there in the hallway, completely alone with the new-comer. I remember I cursed Raven for being missing at the time, but I can't remember what was keeping him. A girlfriend, traffic, family, work, I don't know. I don't care anymore, I only cared then. I wasn't afraid of Chrichton, but I didn't really want to stay there in his company either.

"It's nice to meet you, I've heard… " I hesitated, pulling my extended hand back as he pulled back his, "a lot about you."

The chuckle he gave out sent shivers all way to my spine and it annoyed me. I was supposed to be a professional and this is how I act when fairly good-looking co-worker steps into my sight? Jesus.

"Not all bad, I hope." How can someone have a smile that charming?

"Mainly." Oh please, he was begging for me to say it, wasn't he? That's what I thought too. "You're a wild soul I assume." Maybe I did have some kind of prejudice controlling my tongue then, but you could call it self-protecting. As I said, I had heard a lot and wasn't really keen on repeating the mistake every woman had so far made. I didn't want to even so much as like him.

Maybe it was a wrong choice, for my cold appearance only seemed to sparkle his interest. Predictable? Very much.

"Everyone is", he said tilting his head. I could swear he winked at me while he spoke the words, but I'm not sure anymore. "With some people, it just needs to be brought out."

"I see." I nodded wondering if 'some people' was twisted synonym for, in this case, me.

Turned out it was.

How can I tell? Well, you don't need to be a rocket scientist to figure it out. Yeah, it was the next Saturday I found myself from his bed.

And to be mentioned, I stayed there for two days.

"Romy… is that you?" Sleepy voice speaks from the dark wiping off the memories I've been going through in my mind. I'm sitting on the floor, back against the corner of the room and for the passed twenty minutes or so, I've only listened to her breathing and thought about things. I like it, so sue me.

"Yeah, it's me", I reply. I can hear her move in the bed, probably trying to find a better position… or trying to locate me. Being such a nice person, I make it a little easier for her by drawing my body closer to the bed. So close, in fact, that I can put my elbows on the bed and lean my chin against my arms. I can feel her body's warmth.

"See I'm here", I say gently, "This close." The air I blow out of my lungs hits her somewhere on the face and makes her giggle.

A few minutes go by in silence for I have nothing to say. She then again, is probably surfing through my mind like they were radio channels and trying to find some answers to her questions. Eventually she of course does. "You are going to leave me here", she whispers and I wish I could deny that, say that I'd never do that to her. Can't say I'd be surprised to hear her saying the words though it still feels surreal.

"I can't make any promises, Chessie. We'll see what happens, ok?"

It's probably for the best that I can't see her face. The last thing I need is to try and handle the look on her eyes, for I know it all too good. "They've made their decision", she says.

Who? What?

"Patrick has. I can sense him all the way to here."

Oh.

"He's powerful."

I know.

"You should go."

I get up.