Edge of Heaven

AUTHOR: Harker De Grace
EMAIL: [email protected]
DISTRIBUTION: Just ask - I won't bite unless you ask before dinner
SPOILERS: None I think
RATING: PG
CONTENT WARNING: Mooshy. Major mooshy.
RELATIONSHIPS: Angel/Cordelia
FEEDBACK: Yes please even if it's hatemail. Just so I actually GET some mail.
SUMMARY: Sequel to I Don't Know You Anymore
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, not even my mind. I think Joss has that too. The lyrics are copyrighted to (*cringe*) Ace Of Base 1995 Metronome Musick.
DEDICATION: To David Boreanaz and his snuggly pullovers, darn cuddly stud!

Fire! I can see it burning so brightly
Fire! I can feel it calling out to me
And as the sun goes down
It starts to paint a picture of an ancient town
So far away, across the endless sea

I'm not famed for my intellectual observations, I know that much. After all, head Cheerleader followed by aspiring actress and secretary is hardly a resume that makes me sound like a rocket scientist, but it doesn't mean I don't have a heart, and it definitely doesn't mean I can't tell how people feel. Even if they aren't proper human people, but he walks and talks and doesn't often do that grr thing with his face, so he seems person enough for me. Plus there's the whole saving humans instead of snacking on them - also a very personny quality if you ask me. Love is also what I might call pretty human. Okay I know Spike and Drusilla weren't human and they were in love, but frankly - manacles, eww. They are therefore disqualified. He's life this heat in the room, gets me all breathless and it's like the oxygen is disappearing but as long as I can find something to replace it I'll be okay - and he's the thing I need, the thing that sets me on fire. And not just with loving him - with pity at seeing him so melancholy ever since he got back from that little bitch's marital home. Makes me want to Carrie her in the worst way, doing that to my Angel.

When he's sitting there brooding away and no matter what I do - even offer him donuts which usually works wonders - I really wonder what he's thinking. It must be so hard for him, seeing how much things have changed and how different it all is. He always says he hated Galway, that he was bored, that he was glad to be given his ticket out of his birthplace, but I'm not so sure he feels the same now. Often I wonder how much he thinks about his home, whether he wants it back, or whether it's just his feelings he's brooding about.

Lead me to the light
And take me to the edge of heaven
I'm standing in the night
Looking for the edge of heaven
We'll be touching the edge of heaven

It's got to be no coincidence he was given that name. Apparently Angelus means Angel in Latin - you know I always just thought he dropped the last two letters because he needed to revamp himself, you know, like Prince? I suppose he could have changed his name to a symbol, but no, just a shortening. Anyway - what I'm getting at is that with his looks, it's not hard to imagine he's really fallen out of heaven. Oh, except for the wings I guess - and the halo. Lost them on the way down - or maybe they get confiscated? In any case, when he looks at me I really can see heaven there. When he accidentally brushes my hand with his or we bump into each other I catch my breath and suddenly I'm frozen, staring up into those soulful eyes that are full of promises and secrets and that make me want to touch the sky with him. Even though he's a thing that could never see the light, every time I see him it's a big bright burst of sunshine in my life. You know - knowing the dark cloud still has a head over which to hang. It's a comfort to me. And that's why I've been trying to comfort him - to give something back. He's doing it on purpose I just know it, making himself ill with all that sulking over Buffy, not eating right, wanting to be on his own. So that's why I was so glad when he called me tonight.

Time
Close your eyes see dreams of tomorrow
Time
The wheels are turning till eternity
And as the darkness comes
I start to see a picture
of a lonely man
So clearly now reaching out for me

Finally - what can I say but what took him so damned long to realise that I was in love with the guy?! Doesn't he even vaguely recall that he's a big buff-looking stud muffin? This whole lack of reflection thing is one major uubersuck, he can't even see why I'd love him. But it really is love, not lust. Sure he's crazily handsome but he's also sweet, kind, oh-so-cuddly and the best friend I've ever had. I'm still flying high from that phonecall - all I can think of is how happy we're going to be - and I wish the sun would hurry up and go down so he can come pick me up. I can't wait to lie in his arms, even though he's a little cold, those snuggly jumpers do a lot for his temperature and he's so soft to hold.

Lead me to the light...
And sail the endless sea
So lead me to the light
and take me to the edge of heaven
The edge of heaven is near
We'll sail the endless sea

As soon as the sun sets, I'll have him. Mine forever. My gorgeous Angel.

All together now - ahhhhh!