Just William: Part Three

DISTRIBUTION: Please ask. I won't bite unless you ask very nicely
SPOILERS: Season 1 Angel, Season 4 BtVS
RATING: NC 17 CONTENT WARNING: m/m slash
RELATIONSHIPS: Angel/Spike and implied Buffy/Riley
FEEDBACK: Yes please even if it's hatemail. Just so I actually GET some mail.
SUMMARY: Buffy's tied the knot with Iowa Boy, and her former beau doesn't quite know how to feel. Spike to the rescue!
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, not even my mind. I think Joss has that too.
DEDICATION: To Tess De Bont. I will adore you forever, my little Darla.

------------------- PART THREE --------------------------

"So after I got the message, I went straight over to Valentino's and got 'im 'ome. 'Ope you didn't mind too much not 'avin yer boy toy for a pre-breakfast shag but - "
"Spike, stop. You don't have to act that way - we all know it's not really how you feel"
Cordelia sat down on the armchair opposite the one in which Spike had sprawled, feet up on the table. He accepted the mug of coffee she handed him and started into it for inspiration, having suddenly found himself at a loss. He picked at the rubber peeling from his boot and started dropping bits in the ashtray, suddenly aware that Cordelia had also gone quiet.
"Cat got yer tongue?" he muttered, still picking
"Just thinking. I've been meaning to say since you got here, I'm really grateful that you took care of Angel for me last night. I don't like seeing him that way... it's stupid I know but.."
"Think yerself bloody lucky you weren't about for 'is Glory Days then, drunken Paddy bastard"
Continuing unabashed, Cordelia lowered her voice, aware that Angel may still be awake and if he was, might be able to hear her. He was well tucked up with an ice pack on his head having had Cordelia shove a huge dose of painkillers and a quart of blood down his throat, but she didn't want to take the chance of him hearing this;
"It's just - well you and I both know why he's doing this. It's her"
she almost growled the last word, and Spike approved. Buffy had been unbelievable ever since she and that corn-fed little army wannabe had announced their engagement three months ago. His Sire hadn't known about that bit, so it had come as a complete shock when Buffy had invited Cordelia Chase *and guest* to her wedding. Spike himself had been invited and made a point of declining in person - the temptation to decline by breaking Riley's nose had been overridden by the agonising headache that thinking about it brought on, but he still couldn't help the rancour he felt. However, though he'd been surprised that he'd been invited, Spike had been positively shocked to discover that Angel hadn't. If Spike had been a betting vamp, he'd have laid money that the old poof was top of the Slayer's guest list - but no, he was relegated to being Cordelia's guest, and it had cut him to the quick. Both of them, he and that little bitch, had known for years that their relationship would never work, not even if Buffy wasn't the Slayer, not even if Angel became human. They rubbed each other up the wrong way, and Buffy wasn't into friction burns, but until she'd got engaged, she'd at least treated Angel as a friend, it was him she called when she really needed to confide, and she called him in for help with research, but Riley had changed her and her opinions. She took the same pleasure in beating Angel with a big emotional stick as Angelus would have in pulling out her pretty hazel eyes and treading on them. Spike honestly wondered now which he'd rather have seen. It was a church wedding too - nice considerate planning when she knew there would be at least one vampire there - and though she'd looked resplendent in white, Spike hadn't wanted to be there to see. He'd watched from outside. At least she'd had the brains to hold it in late fall when the warm evenings were still balmy enough to be loving but dark enough for safety, so Spike had waited unseen. First the happy newlyweds who frankly made him want to spit poison, then the guests. But not his Sire, Cordelia was there, but Angel wasn't, and after everyone had left he'd braved the church to see if he'd stayed behind, and immediately felt that presence, and an overwhelming misery. Angel was there all right, on his knees in front of the altar looking up at the cross so that his borrowed blood ran cold with fear and his soul screamed out in pain. It had been Spike's intention, were Angel there, to get blasted with him to help the sadness he was no doubt feeling - but seeing him there, whimpering almost inaudibly in agony, Spike hadn't been able to move. As Angel turned, he saw that his pale, slightly haggard face was wet with tears in the candlelight, and his open shirt revealed that with what looked like holy water, he had inscribed a single word across his marble chest; "WHY" That had been enough for the younger vampire. He'd fled before Angel even knew he'd been there, not to see him again until that night in the bar.
"Spike.. hello, Spike? are you home?" Cordelia cooed...
"Oh god, don't tell me. You were brooding - I just KNEW it was contagious! Right well if you're going to go all - excuse the use of your minuscule vocab - poofy - I'm off"
having abruptly cut short a heart-to-heart in true Chase fashion, Cordy pattered up the stairs, but Spike wasn't even interested in watching her butt as she retreated, he'd already got to his feet and pushed open the door to Angel's bedroom. As they'd thought, the older vampire was deeply asleep; his chest showed no sign of movement, and there was no pulse, but his life force felt like energy flowing through Spike as he observed the prone figure. Unable to help himself he sat down beside him again, cupping the waxen white face in one hand he stroked one slightly hollow cheek with his thumb as he watched Angel sleep. Spike probably would have felt much less in turmoil at that moment if he'd been able to confess, while his Sire was awake, all the things he just knew he could say now. That since Dru left he'd been lonely, that only one person could make him feel right again. That the one person was Angel. Never, he felt, would he be able to let himself embrace his Sire once he was awake - a vampire with a soul was a repellent thing to a fellow demon who was not similarly afflicted, all of their kind shunned him for that very reason, but although Spike's inner demon raged against the thought, Spike felt a deep seated need to sink into his Sire's world again. Opting for the only choice he felt he had, his demon howling but the human who still lurked deep inside him telling him it was right, Spike pulled the covers up and toed off his boots, curling up with one arm around Angel's broad chest. Content for now but wondering how he was going to explain this move, Spike rested his head on the bigger man's shoulder, closed his eyes, and prayed to a god he knew wouldn't listen to him for a sleep free of dreams of Angel's body.