Bleeding Las Vegas

PART #: Part 1 of a story that might have been more if my brain hadn't escaped...
AUTHOR (Real name and SG name): Charlotte/cHarley - Platinum Spike
DISTRIBUTION: At my site www.harley-quinn.co.uk . If you want it just ask.
DISCLAIMER: Buffy and the related characters belong to the despotic emperor Joss and his court Mutant Enemy, WarnerBros, evil Fox, etc. Batman was created by Bob Kane (GO BOB!!!). Batman and all things related belong to WB. I own none of the characters but the pathetic thread of plot is mine and I cling to this like a life line. It's Mine! I tell you.
RATING: erm...
PG SUMMARY: The Joker and Buffy go to Vegas, seperately, and start a party.
NOTES: This is not set in any universe really, on no timeline current or past. I've displaced the characters and mostly just used names. It's a little disjointed but I think you'll get the idea. Oh and for those who don't know...Dick Grayson is Nightwing and Harley Quinn used to be Arkham Asylum psychologist Harleen Quinzel before she became the Jokers sometimes number 1 girl.
DEDICATED: to cHeWtOy as always.
FEEDBACK: PLEASE??? I'll write more if anyone is desperate to want more... This is a silly very bad fic!!! You have been warned! I choose to start this story now...

--Day 1...

"Well, it's no Gotham city boys, but it's all ours. No one has ever successfully taken this town and without the Bat to interefere I will be the first. Heeheee."

"Sure thing Joker."

**

"Buffy, where are you?" Giles indicated the police officer should hurry with the phone call triangulation. "I have to do this Giles," she said. She kicked the tyre again and walked around the car. "Giles, the car broke down. I'm gonna start walking."

"Oh dear."

"I don't know how close I am..."

"I'll hire a car and start driving."

"See you when you find me," she sang.

"Alright Buffy. Take care." He looked at the officer.

"She's on her way to Vegas," he said. "Captain?" "She's after Spike. I'll go," Angel said.

"I'll come with you," Giles said and picked up his coat.

**

"Robin...just tell Batman I've gone to Vegas. Dad got a report the Joker was seen there. I'll check it out and report back to you."

"Batman won't like this Barbara."

"It's never stopped him when we didn't like what he was going to do. Besides why do you think I waited until I was almost there to let you know?"

"I'll let Nightwing know."

"Ok. Thanks Robin. Batgirl out."

*Another two hours Babs. Just a little further.* She kicked the bike faster.

**

"Dark alley. Not scared...eep! AH!..Oh, just the lights flashing on and off. No Batman. Well, Harley, you're not in Gotham anymore... Sneak, sneak, sneak." She stopped and looked down at the clothes they had given her to wear when they released her from the Asylum, shapeless trousers and a button-down shirt. "Oi! Shoulda worn my costume, I don't feel human in these. "

"You'll feel less human if you stay in this alley luv," Spike said, stepping out of the shadows and directly into her path.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!" Harley screamed before turning to run back down the alley, the way she'd come.

Spike sighed and ran after her. "Sometimes 'to serve and protect' isn't the best job in the world."

Harley rummaged through the grab bag on her shoulder as she ran. "Good thing I brought this along. AAAH!!!" she squealled as she ran round a corner, only a few steps ahead of Spike. "Oooooh, popgunpopgunpopgun. AH!" Suddenly she stopped and turned around, clutching the comically large gun in her small hands.

Spike stopped. "A popgun won't help you in these alleyways."

"St-stay where you are o-or I'll shoot."

Spike advanced a step.

"I mean it mister," Harley said, menacingly.

"A cork isn't going to hurt _me_. I'm not your bloody imaginary friend." He pulled the string attaching the cork in the end of the barrell to the gun gripped in Harley's hands.

BOOM! the gun exploded in his face. Spike coughed once, then again then keeled over flat onto his back, a cloud of smoke detaching from his clothes.

Harley looked over his prostrate form triumphantly. "Ha! Ee!" she squeaked when the body twitched. Harley replaced the cork in her gun and put it back in her bag. "He's kinda cute. *SIGH* But he's no Mr. J." She walked around Spike and walked down the alley, the way she'd been going when she'd begun down the alley.

**

Buffy kicked at the dust, turning quickly at the sound of a motorcycle. Ignoring the little warning voice in her head she stuck out her thumb.

The rider pulled over and waited with his helmet in his hands.

"Hey. Was that your car back there?"

"The red Mustang? Yeah. Demon car. Are you going to Vegas?"

"No where else to go on this road. Need a ride?" He held out a helmet for her.

"Yeah. My name's Buffy."

"Dick. Dick Grayson."

"Thanks Dick." Buffy climbed on the bike behind him and held on.

"Did the car just break down?" Buffy heard Dicks voice in a speaker in the helmet beside her ear.

"Uh...I think so. I don't know much about cars." She heard Dick chuckle. "So why are you going to Vegas?"

"Meeting a couple of friends there. Chasing a friend to stop her making a mistake."

"She's an old girlfriend?"

"No. Just a friend on her own about to do something stupid. What about you?"

"I'm hunting an old accquaintance. I was told he was in Vegas."

"Hunting?"

"Sorry. Just an expression. I'm a ... student of mythology. You know, things that go bump in the night..."

"Oh." *Need to find Babs and the Joker AND keep an eye on this girl and hope she doesn't notice the costume under my jacket...Nightwing rides again...*

**

Spike woke up, sat up and shook his head. "Ugh. And I thought I'd left Sunnydale. Time for me to get inside," he said looking at his watch. Looking around he saw the entrance to the abandoned building and quickly ducked inside.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!"

"Uh...boss. She ain't here remember? You left her at Arkham."

"Grrrrrrrrrrrr....feed those hyenas!"

Spike strolled out into the light in the room.

"You the Joker?"

"Who wants to know?"

"Bloody William Rayner. I can help you...There are tunnels under Vegas..."

**

Harley decided this warehouse was the sort of place Mr J. couldn't resist. Harley shouldered the door open and entered Las Vegas' Ha-Hacienda. "Eep," she squeaked when she saw the creepy guy who chased her in the alley talking to Mr J.

She decided he'd be able to help her. She snuck back to the door and outside to wait. She slunk further into the shadows when the door opened. The door closed, the click of the lock covering the soft slap of leather on flesh. The boxing glove retrated and she put the contraption into her bag. Grabbing Spike's feet she dragged to another entrance and took him inside.

"Come on! I didn't hit ya that hard!"

Spike opened his eyes and groggily asked, "Who the hell are you? The ghost of Halloween past?"

"The names Harley Quinn. Pleased to meet'cha."

"I know you. You're the chit who escaped me last night! Let me go..."

"Or what? I've still got the popgun you know."

Spike sighed heavily. "So what do you want?"

"I want Mr J back."

"Who?"

"The white faced guy with the green hair you were talkin' to in that abandoned building!"

"The Joker?" Spike asked incredulously.

"He was my Puddin' till the Bat and the Brats broke up our little party. Mr J. blamed me for Batman finding out about the plan and now he doesn't want me," she cried, dropping down into the chair opposite Spike.

"Aw, don't cry. I hate when women cry." He sighed when her tears began to be accompanied by loud wails. "Tell me about this batguy."

"Batman? Where're you from that you ain't never heard o' the Batman?"

"Where're you from that you've never seen a vampire?"

"Gotham City with the Batman. What's your excuse?"

Spike sighed again. "Been fightin' the 'Slayer'," he muttered. "'Right. Batman?"

"Oh yeah. He's this vigilante that stops crime in Gotham," Harley explained dismissively.

"Doesn't Gotham have any police?"

"Sure but they ain't very smart," she poked her head with her index finger. "Batman's... kinda cute too...But Mr J. doesn't like him cause the Bat always catches him. *sigh* Poor Mr J."

"They're everywhere."

"Mr J's?" she asked surprised.

"Do-gooders. Sunnydale has this girl called a 'Slayer'."

"Sounds criminal."

"She thinks she's a vampire slayer. She believes she slays the undead."

"_Un_dead?"

"Vampires," he explained.

Harley's mouth rounded in an "O" of understanding. "Does she turn up just as you're about to make your bust?"

"The only time I ever see her!"

"Sounds like you have an Agent of the Bat in Sunnydale," she nodded wisely.

"An agent? Like James Bond?"

Harley shrugged. "Bats has friends. Everywhere. Bratgirl, the boy blunder, Blightwing...they all work with him."

"Buffy has friends like that, but they don't have supernatural power."

"Buffy???" Harley began to laugh. "A girl named *Buffy* beats you?"

Spike endured her laughter for a moment. "And a giant rodent thwarts you."

Harley immediately stopped laughing. "Oh yeah."

"Buffy isn't entirely....stable. Her husband is a collegue. She tries to stake anyone she thinks is a vampire. Most of the time they're cops."

"Oh. So what are you doing with Mr J?"

"How do I know you won't go to the cops?"

Harley shrugged. "You don't but I'm not the one tied to a chair."

Spike sighed again. "He's gonna rob Vegas blind."

"But...but how can he do that without me?" Harley pulled out a gun and aimed it at Spike. "What are you gonna do to him?"

"Nothing. My job is to catch him and bring him in."

"Y-you're a cop?"

Spike didn't answer.

"You ain't gonna h-hurt him are you?"

"That's not my job. I just have to stop him hurting others and from taking any money."

Harley seemed to think this over. "How do you know this Joker?"

"We used to be together but he broke out and left me behind. I'm declared sane," she pulled out a certificate to show Spike, "But he's still my puddin' but...he doesn't want me. Ivy was right. I AM a doormat."

"Do you want to show the Joker that you AREN'T a doormat?"

Harley turned at looked at Spike. "Double cross Mr J.?" she squeaked.

"Not really a double cross. You aren't in on this caper but you could help me. Tell me what he might do."

"But...I love my Puddin'."

"But does your Puddin' love you? He didn't invite you along... and he hasn't even fed the hyenas."

"My babies??!!" Harley cried. "I'll help."

--Day 2...

Harley quietly recited her nighttime mantra as the shadows moved and changed. "Not in Gotham. I am sane. No Batman here.

"Harley Quinn."

"Eeep! Batman! I didn't do anything. I didn't even break out of Arkham. They let me out. I'm fixed. Honest!" She pulled the piece of official looking paper out of her bag again. It was on Arkhams letterhead and stamped 'SANE'.

"Then why are you here with the Joker?" "I'm not. I'm helping him," she indiceted Spike with the hike of a thumb. "The Joker has my babies!"

"Your babies?" Batgirl asked

"You two have kids?" Nightwing asked, making a disgusted face.

"She means her hyenas Bud and Lou," Spike said.

"I ain't that disgusting Blightwing."

"But the Joker as a Dad....." Robin shuddered.

"Yeah," Harley said wistfully. "Mr J. broke out and left me behind for the last time B-man. I'm getting my babies and leaving. I worked hard for that stamp!"

"Who are you?" Batman asked Spike.

"Spike."

"Hey, there's someone here looking for you Spike."

"I'll bet. She's 5 foot nothing, blonde, and said she was hunting."

"Yeah, how did you know."

"I'm cursed. Listen Harley, I gotta go. Meet you at the car?"

"Sure thing Spike," she said cheerily and waved goodbye.

"Who is he?"

"Just a friend. That girl who's after him is going to kill him..."

"I knew it," Nightwing muttered. "She thinks he's a vampire and that she's some sort of vampire slayer...but he isn't and she has a psychiatrist..."

"You aren't here with the Joker?" Batman eyed her.

"Uh uh. I've gone straight. I finally realised the Joker was just using me. Promise!" Harley raised her right hand and crossed her heart with her left.

"I'll look into it but you stay out of trouble Harley!"

"Will do B-man," she said to the empty alley, the Bat and his flunkies already gone.

**

Spike, satisfied of Harley's integrity, rounded the corner and hit Angel's chest with his face. "What do you want here Peaches?"

"Buffy's here."

"I know..."

Angel grabbed Spike by the throat and held him against the wall. "How?" Spike slammed his fist into Angels face and was dropped to the ground. He stood up and brusshed himself off. "Gees Angel...I came here to stop this guy and she's followed me. She's INSANE!!! This Joker guy is going to rob all of Las Vegas and probably kill everyone here in his attempt unless I stop him and he's hurt Harley."

"Harley?"

"She used to be a sort of sidekick with the added bonus that's she's a little mad and a lot in love."

"Something you can relate to. Giles is here."

"Ok...Hey! Are you saying I'm mad? Oh nevermind. We have to hurry. The Batgang are here and so is Buffy. To the batmobile Angel!"

"What?"

"Just get in the car and wait."

Harley came around the corner. "Hey! Who's he?"

"Buffy's husband. Buffy's doctor is here looking for her. Do you think the bat guy will help us get her safely back to the hospital?"

"Sure. It's his thing. I'll call him." Spike reached for his cell phone and dropped it on the ground when Harley yelled, "BAAAAAATMAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!"

And then he was there, a looming shadow in the dark.

"Uh. Batman...we were wondering if you could help us..."

**

"You're feeding her delusion Doctor. This can't continue."

"We're making progress," Giles insisted, wondering what trauma created the need for the bat costume.

"Yeah right. Now she's come all the way to VEGAS to hunt down a 'mass murderer master vampire' in Spike here," Angel said. "I watched her deteriorate Giles. I trusted you to treat my wife..."

"She thinks the police force are vampires. Vampires aren't real," Spike insisted.

"She doesn't know that. You can't tell her that."

"You'd rather she remain prowling the streets endangering lives simply to give her an illusion of sanity? No this ends tonight," Batman said.

--Day 3...

The Doctor found Buffy and lead her to the warehouse where they were about to apprehend the Joker. "Buffy...be careful."

"Always Giles."

Batman had the Joker pinned to the ground. Harley was hugging her babies, giving them raw steak to eat. Nightwing, Batgirl and Robin had contained the thugs and were watching them and waiting...looking in the shadows for Buffy as Spike read the Joker his rights ignoring the Batman methodically beating the Joker into a bloody stupor.

There she was. Batgirl nudged Nightwing and jerked her head to the left. He nudged Robin who had already noticed the moving shadow.

"Hey Batman. There'll be nothing _left_ if you keep that up," Nightwing called out.

Spike tensed just as Buffy came out of the shadows, the warning preparing him enough to not hurt the girl holding a stake to his heart.

Harley shrieked and grabbed a gun. "Laff this off!"

"Harley!!" Batman called out.

"Buffy let Spike go?" Angel asked.

"No. I came all this way..."

"To die. We don't know if that's a trick gun or not," Nightwing pointed out. Harley chuckled. "From this range not even I'll miss."

"He's a vampire."

"And you're a murderer. Spike you were right. The Batman is nothing! The Bat doesn't kill."

"He's already dead," Buffy cried.

"The demon isn't," Batgirl said.

"Neither is his soul. Tell her B-man."

Batman sighed. "She's right. Batgirl and Robin did some digging. The vampire demon doesn't drive the human soul out of the body. The demon brings the worst qualities in the human to the fore."

"No," Buffy looked at Nightwing desperately. "It's not true."

"I don't know what you've been told Buffy but ALL of the research Batgirl and Robin did indicates you were lied to."

Spike watched as the light in Buffy's eyes, her conviction, withdrew and died. "No..." she dropped the stake and began to giggle the giggle of the mad and insane.

"Oh no. Not you too Buffy. Please no," Nightwing pleaded. She began to babble incoherently about vampires and demons and a lost life, that there was nothing left to fight for...her every thought, every moment wasted...The purpose faded, the dedication dead. Harley cleared her throat. "B-man. I know I'm not a certified psychologist anymore but in my professional opinion and from my own experience...I think she's broken," Harley said sadly.

"I think you're right Harley," Batman said, watching the so-called Slayers psychiatrist Mr. Giles come out of the shadows to kneel beside her.

"Th-thank you for not...Thank you," Giles said.

"We'll take her to Gotham Mr Giles. There are specialists who can help her there..." Batman said, pulling the blonde girl to her feet and handing her to Nightwing who led her away.

"Uh...Thanks for your help Harley. With the Joker and everything."

"It's ok Bratgirl. It's not funny anymore." Harley pulled off her mask and sat on the floor glumly, ponytails bobbing as she dropped her head. "Buffy isn't the only one who just broke."

"I'll get you for this Harley!!! You double crossed me!" The Joker slurred through a battered mouth.

Harley picked up her boxing glove and pulled the handle. It hit the Joker right between the eyes. "Ha."

"Come on Harley. You'll have to come back to Gotham." Batman held out his hand to help her stand up.

"But...She helped you Batman. She helped us."

"I only said she needed to come back. There will be a trial... I don't think Miss Quinn needs anymore treatment...except perhaps lessons on how to stay out of trouble," Batman managed a small smile.

Harley sighed. "Hey Spike. Maybe I'll see you in Gotham sometime..."

"Sure. There's the trial of the Joker..."

"Again," Batgirl muttered.

Spike smiled, "And I'll have to come with Angel to see Buffy. She's going to be in Arkham now."

"Batman? Can you ask them to give her my old room?"

_The End_

I know. It's lame....