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| What follows are our thoughts on the subject; it is not by any means qualified, professional advice and is not intended to be so. Self Harm Many survivors find it hard to 'admit' that they have, or do, cause themselves harm or injury in some way. Maybe because they feel guilty, a freak, or they fear the response if they make their actions known. The reasons can be as varied as the reasons for doing it in the first place. Sadly the general opinion of those of us who self-harm is far from understanding, instead it is judgmental and negating. There is enough guilt attached to having been abused without more being added by people who can have no idea of what we are going through; unfortunately I fear that many so called 'professionals' are included here. Self-harm is simply another way of coping with the awful effects of our abuse. Abuse is isolating, and can breed feelings of self hate. Is it any wonder that we can, and do, turn these feelings against ourselves? Why Do We Do It? There are so many reasons and often several operate at once, here are a few of them: A physical focus for emotional pain. It can provide a reason or opportunity for us to take care of ourselves. An outlet for anger perhaps (my more serious injuries have come from this one!) It can give a feeling of control, something abuse takes away. It is hard work, and very painful to be a survivor, tensions build up, self harm can give a feeling of relief. It's a 'real' way to express our very 'real' pain. Unfortunately whatever the apparent benefits of self harm are, they are only short-lived. The danger is that it can become addictive ie: the more we do the more we need to do - more often; larger, deeper cuts; hitting harder, using weapons, burning, corrosives, alcohol - the list goes on. The ultimate danger is that it could cause long term/irreversible damage or even death. So What Can You Do? If you can recognise what you are doing and why, that is a big step. You are a survivor of abuse, you have been hurt enough. You did not deserve to be hurt in the first place; you do not deserve this pain now. It is not your fault and you have no reason to feel guilty. Talking about it can help, can help you feel less alone, more understood. Talking to others who have been through similar trauma may help you find alternative ways of dealing with the dreadful feelings you are enduring. You are not alone in this. You have found your way here, and here you will receive all the support and understanding we can give you, but we need to know you are there. Please feel free to mail the Guardian Angels about this, or any other survivor issues. |