The Day That Wasn't
Author: Lady Destiny Email: [email protected] Rating: PG13 Summery: Not all of the events of IWRY were erased. Disclaimer: I don't own anything of BtVS or Angel. Joss Whedon owns it all. Distribution: If you already have my fic, take this, if not, just ask me. Feedback: Definitely! Notes: This takes place about 6 weeks after IWRY.
Part 1 I leaned back on my heels gasping for breath after my latest session with the toilet. I flushed it and dizzily got to my feet. Bad idea. I was back on my knees vomiting the rest of the contents of my stomach all over the tiled floor. Oh freakin peachy, I thought. Then I groaned, surveying the mess, which nearly made my stomach turn on me again. This was not good, not good at all. I'd felt this way all the time lately and I had a feeling this wasn't just the flu. I reached for a towel and began to clean up the mess I'd made. After that, I stumbled to my bed and flopped down, my stomach still lurching. Luckily, Willow was at some Wiccan thing, so I didn't have to worry about her finding out about tonight's vomit session. She'd seen it only once, and I had told her it was the flu. Back then, I'd thought it was, but now I wasn't so sure. The other possibility scared me and seemed impossible. I hadn't slept with anyone since Parker and that was way to far back for anything to have resulted from it. So then, what was this? I turned on my side and sighed. What was I going to do if I was pregnant? I didn't have an answer. The only thing I did know for sure was that I had to find out for sure. I reached over and dialed my doctor's number. "Hello, Doctor Landers?" I said. *** I sat in the small room on the table, shivering. Hospitals scared me and to me, doctor's offices were the same. Megan Landers stepped in and smiled at me. "Hello Buffy, it's been a while since I've seen you." "Yeah," was all I could manage. "What seems to be the problem?" she asked. "I think I'm pregnant." She didn't look shocked. "When was the last time you were sexually active with someone?" I looked up at her and sighed. "That's the strange thing, Doctor Landers," "Call me Megan," she interrupted. "Megan," I continued."The last time I slept with someone was at least three months ago." Megan looked at me strangely. "You're sure?" I nodded, looking miserable. "Well then, let's just find out if you are really pregnant." I followed her instructions for the test and she told me to go home and she'd call me tomorrow morning with the results. "Thanks, Megan." I said. "Buffy," she said, looking serious. "What will you do if you are pregnant?" I looked her straight in the eye and didn't stutter. "I'm not sure, but I do know, I will not get an abortion." She nodded, seeming satisfied. I left the building, feeling some how less stressed than I had been. I returned to the dorm and found a note from Willow. She was at a Wiccan meeting. She's sure at a lot of those lately. I shrugged and lay down on my bed, instantly falling asleep. *** I was woken simultaneously by the ringing of the phone and my alarm clock. I saw Willow roll over in her bed and heard a muffled groan. I grabbed the phone with one hand, and sent the damned alarm clock across the room and into a wall with the other. It shut up. It was probably broken, but at least it wasn't beeping now. "Hello?" I said sleepily. "Buffy, it's Megan Landers, I've got the results of the test." I was awake in a flash. "And?" I closed my eyes and waited. "You were right, Buffy, you are about five to six weeks pregnant." I sat there, amazingly, I wasn't surprised. "Five to six weeks." I repeated. "Yes, I think I should give you a more thorough check up," she said. Like an idiot I asked, "Why?" "To make sure everything's okay, Buffy." I noddded numbly, then realized I was on the phone. "I'll come around 3:30 today, is that okay?" "It's fine, see you then." I hung up the phone numbly. Willow was watching me curiously. "Who was that?" she asked. "My doctor." Willow looked confused. "Is something wrong, Buffy?" I nodded, still feeling numb. "I'm pregnant, Will." I whispered before bursting into tears. *** I stared at my rather limited selection of clothing. "Come on, Angel, it can't be that hard to find something to wear to a production of Romeo and Juliet." Cordelia said coming up behind me. I heard her sharp intake of breath. Oh, here it comes. 'Angel you have no fashion sense whatsoever! You have about as much color in that closet as a vampire!' Then of course would come my calm reply. 'Cordelia, I am a vampire.' I flinched as she began talking. "Angel you have no fashion sense what so ever!" Yeah, I'd pegged her reaction perfectly. Funny how I could do that. It's a vampire thing, I think. She reached her second sentence and I waited patiently for her to finish then said, right on time, "Cordelia, I am a vampire." She gave me a scornful look. "That's no reason to have an entire wardrobe composed of black leather." I groaned inwardly, I knew she was going to lecture me. I wasn't in the mood and abruptly headed for the kitchen. She didn't follow me. I couldn't believe I'd let Cordelia and Doyle talk me into this. I practically lived Romeo and Juliet, I didn't really need to see it. They thought I was to broody. Last time I'd checked, you couldn't be too broody. Assuming broody was a word. I sat down and leaned back to think for the half hour I had before I was dragged to see the tragic play. It had been six weeks since the day that hadn't happened. I still remembered every minute, and the pain of watching Buffy walk away, after the oricals had started the day over. I was the only one. The only one with any recollection of that day. All traces of the day had been erased, and to everyone else it was if it hadn't happened. It hadn't. The only thing to support that it had ever happened were my memories, nothing else remained, or so I thought. I jerked back to myself when I heard the phone ring and quickly made my way up to see Cordelia holding the phone as if it would bite her. "Who is it?" I asked. She shook her head and handed the phone to me. I frowned and then pressed it to my ear. "Hello?" I asked. "Angel." "Buffy?" I asked, astonished. "It's me." Okay, I felt deja vu. "I have to talk to someone...and for some really dumb reason, I think you'll listen to me before you judge me, everyone else already has." "What's wrong?" "I'm...I'm pregnant, Angel." My mind spun. Pregnant? She was pregnant? How could that be? "Do you...do you know who the father is?" I heard a choked sob/laugh on the other end. "That's the strange thing, Angel, the last person I slept with was over 3 months ago, no one else since." No one else. No one but me. I felt sickness clench my stomach. It couldn't be, could it? "Buffy," I choked out, my voice sounding weak even in my own ears ,"I think we'd bettter talk." "Okay, when will you be here?" she asked and I could hear the tears mounting in her voice. "Tonight, and Buffy?" "Yes?" "It's going to be okay." "Thank you, Angel." She hung up and I placed the phone down slowly. "Angel?" Cordelia asked. "What'd the lass say?" Doyle asked. I took a deep breath and headed for the door to pack. "We're taking a trip, to Sunnydale." *** I fell back on my bed relieved. Angel had asked only normal questions, he hadn't jumped to conclusions or judged me as the others had. Well, that wasn't entirely true. Willow had been supportive, but she'd been about the only one. I had told Riley, though we weren't very close yet, and he'd lost it. Giles was disappointed in me. I could understand that. Xander, well, Xander probably thought I was a slut. He hadn't left the conversation looking happy. I layed a hand over my abdomen and thought hard. How was this even possible? Giles had suggested demon spawn, but I'd told him no, because I hadn't run into any demons that got in any position to do anything of that sort. Besides that, Megan had said that though it was to early to tell much about the baby, she was sure it was fine, and most positively human. She'd given me a strange look when I'd asked her that and then laughed. The question for me was, what would I do now? I was carrying a child who's father was unknown to me. I still held firm to my decision to not have an abortion, which of course, mother dearest had promptly suggested. I'd left the house after telling her, feeling very destructive towards the world. The phone rang and I reached over to pick it up. "Hello?" "Buffy, it's Angel, we're in Sunnydale, where should we go?" I told them to come to my dorm and waited. A few minutes later a knock sounded on my door. "Come in." I yelled. Angel entered, followed by Doyle and Cordelia. "Hey." he said and sat down gentley on my bed. "Hi." I whispered, feeling my resolve to not slip as I saw his face. I buried my head in his chest and sobbed. Cordelia excused herself and took Doyle with her. "I don't know what to do Angel." I said when I could breathe again. "You're going to keep the baby?" he asked. I nodded. "I decided that even before I was sure I was pregnant." Angel looked as if he wanted to disappear. Pain was apparent on his face and I looked at him questioningly. "They said that the day never happened." he whispered. I was confused. "What?" He took a long look at me and then sighed. "Do you remember the day you came to LA back around Thanksgiving?" I nodded."I came, we slayed, I left." I summed it up. Angel shook his head. "No." "What do you mean?" "There's more to it than that, Buffy." I listened as he told me about the day. How he had become human, how we had made love, and then how he had given it all up to save me. At first I felt anger, then I felt sadness, and finally I felt happiness, of a kind, I now thought I knew who the baby's father was. "They didn't erase everything did they?" I asked. Angel shook his head. "Then this baby," "Is mine." he finished. Part 2 I gave Buffy an encouraging smile, she needed it more than I did. Actually, I needed a strong drink right about then. She stepped into the room where all her friends sat talking. I followed at a safe distance. They looked at me in total shock and surprise. Well, I would have too. "Hey." was all I said. They nodded at me and I took that as a good sign. "Angel came back for a reason." Buffy began bluntly. I tensed considerably. She slid her hand in mine and I gave it a squeeze. "Why?" Willow asked. "He knows who the father of the baby is." I realized that Buffy must have already told all of them. "Who?" Xander asked. Buffy looked at me and I took an unneeded breath. "I am." I said. The room broke out in pandamonium. Cries of "What?!" and "How in hell?" the latter from Xander, of course. "Shut up!" Buffy yelled. The room froze. "If you'll sit down and listen, we'll tell you." They did as she asked and we began to tell the story. *** Angel and I stopped outside my dorm room and sat on a bench. "So, what will we do now?" I asked. "I don't know, Buffy." "Will you stay?" He gave me an incredulous look. "Of course I will, but we'll have to be careful." I nodded understanding. He still didn't want me, or at least, not like he used to. That had been lost long ago, and I had no hope now of ever getting that back. I stood and began to walk toward the building. "Will you be okay?" he called. "Yeah, sure." I answered and let the doors slam behind me as I walked into the dorms. I couldn't tell him how I felt, I hadn't even realized how I felt until this had all happened. He didn't want me, not anymore. He had all his wonderful reasons for us not being together mapped out. Even when we had the chance, he had given it up. He had given it up. For some reason, now that I thought about it, that pissed me off. I abruptly slammed my fist into the nearest wall. "Reasons be damned, I won't let him walk away this time!" I screamed it to the hall, and I didn't care who heard. Willow came running up the hall, I guessed she must have heard me. "Buffy are you okay?" I turned and looked her straight in the eye. "No, but I will be." We entered our dorm and I sat down on my bed. "Willow, he doesn't want me, not anymore, he's got all his little reasons for us not being together, and when we had the chance that idiot gave it up!" "I thought you were okay with this, Buffy?" "I was, until I started thinking about it more." I said and pouneded my pillow harshly. "I am not letting him walk away from this, he says he'll stay, but I know how he is, the minute everything's fine and dandy he'll disappear into the night." "Are you sure?" Willow shifted on her bed. "I mean it is his child, shouldn't he want to stay and help take care of it?" I snorted. "He doesn't even want to let me get close to him, I doubt he'd let his own kid." I snapped. "Things are like they've always been, we can't be together." *** I walked into the old mantion, still looked the same. What was I going to do? I wanted this child, but Buffy and I couldn't be together, there was no way. I sat down and layed my hands in my head tiredly. She probably thought I didn't want her. I did, but I knew the reasons we couldn't get close. Buffy was in denial over those reasons. I began to pace. "Thinking about the Slayer, huh?" Spikes British accent cut into my thoughts abruptly. I turned. "What are you doing here?" I asked, not really caring. "Being the good guy, unfortunately." That got my attention. "What?" "Your bloody friends asked me to come talk some since into you." I stared at him. "And I should care because..." "Because the Slayer's bloody having your kid mate." Spike leaned against a wall casually. "Why do you care?" I snapped. "I don't, but she does. She thinks you don't want her. All your little reasons have her convinced that you won't stay around long enough to see the kid, or become apart of their life." I stared at him in shock. "She thinks I would leave with out seeing my own child?" "She does, and she has this really crazy conviction that if you do bother to see the kid you'll leave afterwards and not bother to stay around and become part of her and the kid's life." I glared at him. "Why would she think that?" "Oh I don't know mate, could it be because you broke up with her and left for LA only to become human and then give both your happiness and hers up?" Spike asked sarcastically. "I did it for her own good." "Oh yeah? Then how come she's not good?" "The oracles said she'd die if I stayed human." "This is just a hunch, but knowing you, it's probably true," Spike said. "Did you bother to ask that question exactly?" I looked at him puzzled. "Gees, your thick as a bloody brick wall, did you ask these oracle fellows 'if I stay human, will Buffy die?'" I shook my head. Spike snapped his fingers. "See, I knew it." "What does that have to do with anything?" "If I were you mate, I would stay with the Slayer, she may be strong, but she needs you by her side to help her through this and you can't just walk away this time you bloody idiot." I gaped at Spike in amazement. "I'll be damned." I whispered. "What?" Spike asked, looking interested. "You actually made sense Spike and I'm actually going to listen." I headed for the door calling over my shoulder, "Thanks, Spikey Boy." *** I woke up to here a knocking on my door. "Go away!" I yelled, still half asleep. "Buffy, it's me." Angel's voice came through the door clearly. "Come in." I muttered. The door opened and he stepped in. "Did I wake you?" "No, I never sleep at 3:30 in the morning." I shot sarcastically at him. "Sorry, maybe I should come back tomorrow night." I shook my head and sat up fully. "No, what ever it is you have to say, say it now." Angel shifted on his feet. "Buffy, Spike talked to me." "Spike?" I nearly laughed. "Yes, Spike and he made me realize something." "What?" I closed my eyes, expecting the worst, and planning Spike's horrible death. "No matter how hard it might be for us to be together, I should stick with you." My eyes shot open. "Do you mean," He nodded. "I'll stay in Sunnydale and help you with our baby, you may have deserved a normal life, but when you had it with me, I took that away, so I plan on giving you the best abnormal life I can." I laughed, then I started crying. He sat down and hugged me to his chest. "I love you," he whispered softly in my ear. "I love you, too and we'll make this work, somehow." I said through my tears of joy. "Yes we will." Part 3 I stared down at the sleeping infant in my arms and then gazed at her sleeping mother. I still couldn't believe that this was our child. This small bundle that lay in my arms had been created by us. Well I just heard, The news today, Seems my life, Is gonna change, I close my eyes, Begin to pray, Then tears of joy, Stream down my face, With arms wide open, Under the sunlight, Welcome to this place, I'll show you everything, With arms wide open, With arms wide open I looked once more on my daughter, Katey, and smiled. Together, Buffy and I had created a new life. Together we would raise her, and take care of her. We would both protect her as best we could. I had given up on arguing against our being together long ago, this was meant to be. Buffy stirred on the bed and opened her eyes. She looked at us and smiled. "Hey." she said. "Hey, baby." I whispered, my throat suddenly choked up with tears. She reached up and stroked my face and then pulled me down to sit beside her. I handed our daughter to her and she laid her down gently on her chest. "She's beautiful." I said. "She has your eyes, Angel." she replied, smiling. "Yeah, but I bet she has your stubborn will." She laughed at that and I felt my heart melt all over again. Katey, however, broke the moment with her wailing. Buffy hushed her quickly and then drew her closer so that she could breast feed her. I got up to leave, but Buffy shook her head. "Stay, you might as well get used to it, that, and diaper changing." I groaned playfully. Buffy's gaze suddenly shifted to some where past me and I turned to look. I recognized the female Oracle at once. I looked at her questioningly and she smiled. *** I looked at Angel as the woman in the doorway of my hospital room smiled at him. "Who is she?" I asked. He looked from me to her and she nodded. "She's an Oracle, a sort of messenger for the Powers That Be." I nodded. Angel had explained to me about them a few months ago. I wondered what she wanted. As if reading my thoughts, the female Oracle spoke. "Hello, warriors, I congratulate you on your new arrival and bring you good news." "What?" Angel asked, watching her intently. "We have decided that though we can not lose a warrior such as yourself, you and your Slayer do however deserve to be together." I looked up at her, not believing what she might be implying. "Yes, Slayer, he will become human, but will retain his strength and ability to heal quickly." I felt my heart leap and she smiled. "I must leave you now, but first," she moved over to the bed and lay a hand on Katey ,"I will leave you with a gift for your child," she said and then turned to go. I looked questioningly at Angel. "What gift?" I asked. "Protection," came the female oracle's voice. "Your child will be protected from all evil until her sixteenth birthday, then, you must take over her protection." I looked astonished at Angel who was smiling. "Thank you," he whispered and then lent down to kiss me. I reached up and touched his face. His warm face. He was alive. I laughed, then began to cry. Angel took me and our daughter into his arms. We fell asleep wrapped in his strong, safe embrace. I knew some how, that it had all been meant to come down to this. Love never dies, and I believe that our love was never meant to. We were only being tested, and now, we had our well deserved reward. The End
