" Slowly he turns, my breath hitches as he slowly starts to
walk away. My soul is screaming at him to come back, begging him not to go. He’s
fading away, at that moment I realise the truth. Angel’s leaving. He’s going
to walk out of my life and he’s never coming back. .”- Predictions
Predictions
Title: Predictions
Author: crystalix
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Ficlet rewrite of Graduation Day, Part 2.
Pairing: B/A
Disclaimer: All characters, setting, etc, belong to Joss Whedon and co.
Distribution: Please ask first!
A/N: One of my earlier attempts at a fanfic, please feel free to giggle. ;-)
Predictions
Emptiness.
I stalk across the blacktop, staring around looking for something.
I can’t
remember anything; not about the battle, not about what Giles said, my mind
is focused on one thing alone. Nothing. That’s all I can feel inside. Everything’s
gone, the joy, the anger, the grief. I see Xander approach me, his words fall
on deaf ears as I watch him; trying to remember why I’m here. He gives me a
sympathizing look and walks away, I wonder why he feels sorry for me, especially
when I can’t feel so for myself.
Then I feel it. A spark starting at my spine and quickly working its way through
my body. Frantically, I look around in search of what’s making me feel so strange.
Then my eyes land on him. He’s standing a small distance away staring at me.
Even through the thick smoke the pain in his eyes is clear. Then it all comes
back to me. The pain I’ve felt for the past month comes crashing down on me
at once, it takes strength I’m not sure I have to keep myself from falling
over. Our eyes locked, we watch each other standing still for what seems like
an eternity.
Slowly he turns, my breath hitches as he slowly starts to walk away. My soul
is screaming at him to come back, begging him not to go. He’s fading away,
at that moment I realise the truth. Angel’s leaving. He’s going to walk out
of my life and he’s never coming back.
No.
Before I even realise what I’m doing I run towards him, I grip his arm and
swing him around as hard as I can, forcing him to face me. Tears have made
their way down his face he gazes at me helplessly, silently pleading with me
not to make this hard, to just let him go.
“What do you want?” I ask him, finally finding my voice.
I watch as confusion quickly crosses his features.
“What?”
“What do you want?” I ask again, my voice trembling in pain and anger.
“Buffy-”
“No!” I yell, cutting off his protests, “Answer me dammit! What do you want?”
“This isn’t about what I want Buffy, it’s about what’s right.”
“Stop it! I’m not talking about ethics or logic, I’m talking about what you want!”
“It doesn’t matter.” He says in a low voice before turning to leave again.
“Yes it does!” I quickly step in front of him, not letting him walk away. “Don’t
you dare Angel! Don’t you dare try to leave without answering me! I’ve put up
with enough crap from you the past month; at the very least you owe me answer!
Come on is it that hard a question? I’m not asking that much from you, just tell
me what the hell it is you want!”
“Fine you want to know what I want!?” he yells, finally releasing the anger he’s
been hiding. “I want you! I want to stay by you for the rest of your life, I
want to kiss you and I don’t want to stop! I want to protect you and be able
to give you what you deserve! I want to hold you and never let go, I want to
rip the throat out of any man that does so much as thinks about touching you!
I want to be there for you and make sure nothing ever comes close to hurting
you!”
“Then why are you leaving?!”
He stops, tears once again streaming down his face. He’s breathing raggedly
even though he has no need for breath.
“Because I have to.” His voice sounds so broken, like he’s finally given up. “We
can’t be together Buffy you know that.”
“Why not?”
“Because we can’t Buffy! It’s wrong; you and I were never supposed to fall in
love. We’re not meant to be together don’t you see that?! You’re a slayer; I’m
a vampire we’re supposed to hate each other. We don’t get a happy ending, you
go your way and I go mine- that’s the way it’s supposed to be. We can’t fight
it Buffy, us being together goes against everything that’s happened for centuries.
We have to just let it go, we have to go on with life the way we’re supposed
to.”
I stare at him in shock, my jaw drops not believing what I’ve just heard. His
words cut through what’s left of my heart; it feels like I’m in some horrible
nightmare.
“Fine.”
He looks at me for a moment before he starts walking, he gets about three steps
before I speak again.
“I should just do what I’m supposed to, the way it’s always been done? Okay.
If that’s the way you want it, fine. Just go. Leave Sunnydale forever and never
come back. I’ll do what I’m supposed to.”
He stops and turns to me, recognizing the surrender in my voice.
“Tomorrow I’ll buy a ticket to England. I’ll find some money and take the first
flight I can, I won’t say goodbye or tell anyone where I’m going. I’ll just leave.
Once I get there I’ll find the watchers council. I’ll beg them to take me back,
and they will. They’ll assign me a new watcher, one that won’t get attached to
me, probably someone who could care less is I was alive or not. I’ll end up living
in some cheap motel room, if I’m lucky I could get one like Faith’s old place.
I’ll do what every other slayer has done for the past hundreds of years. I’ll
shut down my emotions, close off my heart to everyone and everything around me.
I won’t have any friends, any family, won’t think of trying to get involved with
someone. It’ll just be me, alone.”
I pause and look up at him, his eyes are begging me to stop but I’m far from
finished.
“I’ll train, probably for about a year. I’ll read the handbook and do everything
the way I should. Get rid of anything that’s unique, my personality, my fighting
style, probably won’t even talk the same. I’ll stay in England; do whatever the
council wants me to; kill whoever is necessary to get the job done. I’ll patrol,
and train, and patrol again every day and night. Until finally, one day I slip.
One day, I’m on patrol and I make some stupid mistake that lets a demon get the
upper hand. Not a special demon, just an average bad guy. They’ll knock me out,
drag me back to their crypt. Probably tie me up, gloat about finally being the
one to catch the slayer. I’ll try to escape but I can’t and there wont be anyone
there to save me. They’ll torture me, probably for days. Eventually they’ll get
bored though, rip my heart out, and I’ll be dead. I’d have died a slow and painful
death alone.”
“The council will find my corpse eventually. Assess the damage and trying to
figure out what happened. They’ll take their notes and transport my body somewhere.
They’ll probably burn it, along with all my birth certificates, medical records;
they’ll wipe out any evidence that I was ever alive. And then I’ll be gone. Just
like that. I was never standing here with you and I didn’t defeat the mayor.
You and I never fell in love, we never even met, you didn’t warn me about the
harvest, or give me my Claddagh ring. I didn’t have a mother or any friends;
I never even came to Sunnydale. I wasn’t even born. As far as the world is concerned
I’m not real…. Buffy Summers, the girl you claim to love, never existed.”
As I finish I look up at him through teary eyes, his expression is unreadable.
Suppressing a sob, realising that he’s going to let me go. I turn my back to
him and walk away, finally accepting what I’m going to have to do.
I haven’t even made it a yard away before someone grabs my arm and spins me
around. My face is a mere inches from his, his face has morphed into its vampyric
form; his golden eyes are locked with my own.
“No.” he says strongly before roughly pulling me to him and pressing his lips
firmly to my own.
The kiss is one filled with passion and possessiveness; I put my arms around
his neck griping him like a lifeline. I can’t help the moan that escapes me
which causes him to pull me even closer, as though I’m going to disappear if
he lets me go. Eventually he breaks the kiss and rests his now human forehead
against mine.
“No.” He states again, his penetrating eyes reaching into my soul. “Don’t ever
say that. You exist, you’re right here with me. You hear me? You’re mine. I love
you and there’s no chance I’m letting anything happen to you. You’re going to
have a long, happy life and no one is going to say otherwise.”
“You’re staying?” I ask, a spark of hope igniting within me.
“I wasn’t sure I could leave before, now I know I can’t.”
I look away at his words, suddenly feeling guilty for making him stay. Maybe
he really doesn’t want to be with me anymore.
“Buffy look at me.” Reluctantly I comply, “The last month has been so hard, I’m
sorry I didn’t talk to you about how I was feeling earlier, and even more for
the pain I’ve caused you. But if there’s one thing it’s taught me it’s that we
need each other. I know it’s not what a relationship should be based on but we’re
connected. In almost every way; mind, body, and soul. What I said before… it
wasn’t all lies Buffy. I can’t give you children or take you into the l-”
I quickly place a finger on Angel’s lips, giving him a chastising look.
“I love you Angel, more than anything. But if you feed me that line about children
and light one more time I going to stake you.”
Angel offers me a weak smile in return, knowing that I’m only half kidding.
“I thought you said we’re not supposed to be together.” I say hesitantly.
He reached up and pulls a strand of hair from my face.
“We’re not. I’m sure that if you asked anyone out there they’d say how wrong
it is, and to be honest I’d probably agree with them.”
“Then why are you staying?”
He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on my lips and smiled.
“Love makes you do the wacky.”
Epilogue
Angel stayed in Sunnydale and continued to fight by Buffy’ side. Later that
year Willow performed a spell to anchor his soul (which lead our heroes to
a LONG much deserved vacation). Angel helped Buffy defeat the Initiative and
scare off a certain Iowa farm boy who wouldn’t take no for an answer. Buffy
defeated Glory in season 5, and never died. Two years later, after the final
battle in Sunnydale Angel received his Shanshu. He and his new wife (Buffy
O’Connor) moved into a beautiful house and had lots of children and they all
lived HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
The End
