by Angela Jade
Rating - NC-17 - smut and a little angst
Disclaimer - it all belongs to George. I’m not making any money from this.
Yeah, it’s another challenge fic from the Luke_and_Mara yahoo email list. The silly thing is, I posted up the challenge (write a ‘Luke’s First Time’ story) then remembered I’d already written “Lost Innocence”. Duh!! So my challenge became - write another one. :)
This is for Crysta and anyone else that wasn’t too keen on “Lost Innocence” because ‘the girl was too old’. Too old?! Sheesh! ;)
And a huge THANK YOU to Sheyla for once again acting as beta, muse, and writers-block-remover.
February 2001
“Hey, Hotshot. Buy a girl a drink?”
A smile lit up Luke Skywalker’s face as his gaze traveled up the orange-suited figure standing before him. “Lana! You’re back!” He pushed a glass of lomin-ale towards her as she slid into the seat beside him.
“Yeah, I’m back. But Reno and Na’Barque aren’t,” she replied ruefully, taking a long pull of her ale. “If we keep losing pilots at this rate, there won’t be a Blue Squadron left by next month.”
Luke took her hand, gently entwining his fingers with hers. “Do you want to talk about it?”
She took another gulp of ale then sat back in her seat, sighing softly as her gaze fell on their joined hands. How long had they been seeing each other? Two months? Three? Seemed like only yesterday she was consoling him after the Battle of Yavin. She closed her eyes and leaned back. “We were escorting a couple of supply ships back from Minos; food, mostly, and spare parts. Seemed like a quiet run, not too much happening.” Her brown eyes gazed at him, the pain of losing friends evident. “They came out of nowhere. Two squadrons of TIEs; must have been ground-based. It was not pretty.”
“Dog fights rarely are.” He squeezed her hand and smiled tentatively. “Is there anything I can do?”
Her eyes flicked open and she looked steadily at him for a long moment before apparently coming to a decision. “Yes, there is. Give me a chance to clean up then come round to my room. And bring food; I’m starving.”
“But Na’Barque...” His words died in his throat as he suddenly remembered Lana’s dead room-mate.
“Precisely,” she replied in a soft voice. “I’d rather not be alone tonight.”
*****
She had showered and changed into a loose-fitting robe, leaving her long, brown hair unbraided. Sitting in front of her small mirror, Lana considered the few cosmetics she owned. Normally, she wouldn’t bother with make-up, but she had a nasty bruise forming where she’d bashed her forehead on this latest mission, and, for some reason, she had an urge to look her best for Luke tonight. She regarded her reflection once more as she dabbed a concealer on the purple spot blooming above her right eye. Many people had commented on her resemblance to Princess Leia - a vicious few had even suggested it was the only reason Luke had given her a second glance - but Lana just couldn’t see it. Sure, she had brown eyes and similar hair, but the Princess was much more self-assured than she ever would be. They looked totally different. Besides, thought Lana with a grin, she stood a good ten centimeters taller than the diminutive Alderaanian.
Luke stood outside her door, first tugging his shirt straight, then nervously running his fingers through his hair. His other hand clutched the handle of a box, a long-stemmed white flower hooked round one finger - his grip tightened as he considered her words once more. She didn’t want to be alone tonight. Tonight. Did that mean what he thought it meant? Did she want him to stay the night? He swallowed the lump forming in his throat and seriously considered running back to his own room at top speed. Instead, he gathered up as much courage as he could and knocked on the door.
The vision that opened the door to him dispelled all his doubts and worries, and he could feel a slow smile creep across his face. “Hi.” Fumbling slightly, he untangled the flower from his fingers and held it out to her. “For you.”
Lana grinned as she accepted the bloom. “Thank you. It’s lovely.” Stepping back, she indicated for him to come in. “Picnic on the floor okay?”
“Sure.” He carried the food-box to the small space between the two bunks, studiously trying to ignore what had previously been Na’Barque’s bed, neatly made with its empty locker standing at the foot. Setting the box down, he slid to the floor, his back against Lana’s bed. “Are you okay?”
She slipped down beside him, her leg pressed close to his, unable to take her eyes off her bunk-mate’s unoccupied bed. “I ... I’m not sure. I think so. I mean, logically I know our chances of surviving the next mission are not good, but...” She turned her anguished gaze on him, tears welling up in her eyes. “She was my wing-mate, Luke. My room-mate. My friend. I’ll never get used to losing people.”
His arm slipped round her shoulders and he pulled her close, vaguely aware of the flower that tumbled from her fingers. “I know. Me neither.” His quiet words acted as a catalyst, and the tears that had been threatening for so long finally came. He hugged her to him, burying his face in her hair as he murmured vaguely comforting platitudes. “Shhhh. Let it out. It’s okay.” As he listened to her gentle crying and felt her tears as they dampened his shirt, he mourned the friends and family he had lost once more. The emotional wounds were not as fresh as Lana’s, but still they hurt.
Finally a quiet snuffling indicated her sobbing had stopped. “Sorry, Luke,” she sniffed. “I thought I’d at least manage to hold off the waterworks until after we’d eaten.”
“That’s alright.” He smiled tentatively. “To be honest, I’m not that hungry.”
She gazed up at him, a thousand thoughts running through her brain. “You’re not?”
Oh, Gods, she was beautiful. His stomach muscles twisted into knots and he could almost hear the blood pounding through his body. He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. “Not for food, no.”
It was as if she could read his thoughts. “Luke, I meant it when I said I don’t want to be alone tonight.” She bit her bottom lip, her eyes dropping before flicking back up again. “Before I left for Minos, you told me you loved me.”
“I did. I do.” He caressed her face. “I love you, Lana.”
His intense expression made her heart leap into her throat. She wanted to drown in his eyes, this man who meant more to her than any other person ever had. “I love you, too, Luke.”
He was speechless, utterly speechless. Anything he said would only detract from the moment, so he said nothing, just leaned forward and gently brushed her lips with his. Closing his eyes, he repeated the almost-kiss; the third time, her lips sought him out, intensifying the kiss as her hand slipped to the back of his neck. Deeper and deeper they sank into each other’s presence, losing themselves in their embrace as that one emotion called ‘love’ overrode all others.
Finally they parted, seeking oxygen and the ability to cope with their overwhelming feelings.
“Luke, I ... I want you to make love to me. Tonight.”
As he stared into her eyes, he could almost feel her passion for him as her soul was laid bare. He would do anything for her, anything at all, but this...? “Lana, are you sure?” He dropped his gaze, embarrassed. “I’ve never ... umm ... done this before.” Her hand cupped his cheek and he twisted slightly to kiss her palm before gathering the courage to look at her again. She was smiling.
“Luke, I’ve never done this, either.” Her eyes followed her hand as it drifted through his hair. “And before you say it, no, this isn’t a because of Na’Barque’s death making me aware of my own mortality or some other psychobabble bantha crap.” Her eyes fixed on his with laser intensity. “I want to do this. I want to be as physically close to you as I can possibly get. I want to show you I love you, not just tell you.”
“Oh, Lana,” he whispered as he pulled her into a tight hug, burying his face in her neck and hair, inhaling her scent and losing himself in her warmth. He placed a gentle kiss on her neck, then another, then another, trailing slowly along her jawline and over her cheek. Her eyes were closed as he kissed her mouth, but she responded immediately, pressing her whole body against him as their mouths opened and they tasted each other hungrily.
Her hands slipped tentatively under his shirt, caressing the smooth skin of his sides and back - she smiled against his mouth when he jumped slightly at her touch. But lust quickly overrode humor and she suddenly found herself unabashedly unfastening the front of his shirt and slipping it off his shoulders, her hands trailing back over his chest as her dark eyes met his. Then his mouth was on hers once more, his tongue probing for entry which she gladly allowed, tasting him and reveling in his gentle moan of pleasure. When his hands crept slowly over her breasts, she arched into his touch, begging him silently to strip her and make love to her. It was as if he heard her thoughts. Her robe slipped off her shoulders as he helped her stand, forming a white puddle at her feet which accentuated her nakedness. Embarrassed, Lana dropped her gaze, convinced she was blushing all over.
Unbelievable. He’d dreamed of this moment, more often than he’d ever admit to. To stand with a beautiful, naked woman in his arms, a woman willing to take him into her bed... He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat and struggled to stop his body shaking with excitement. Or maybe it was fear. He tilted her chin up to him with one finger and lost himself in her eyes. “You are so beautiful, Lana.” Her shy smile melted his heart and he leaned in to kiss her. She returned his kiss with fervor and he quickly swept her into his arms, depositing her on the small bed before struggling out of the rest of his clothing.
Now it was his turn to feel embarrassed as his body reacted naturally to the situation, making it impossible to hide his arousal. He blushed a deep crimson, smiling gratefully when Lana pulled back the bedcover and motioned for him to join her.
“Come lie beside me, Luke,” she whispered, forcing her gaze up to his face. It wasn’t easy.
He slid in next to her, wrapping his arms around her as she snuggled into his chest. “Lana, if you’ve changed your mind, well, that’s okay. I’ll be fine, I...” He sucked in a sharp breath as her hand crept under the cover and settled on his erection, stroking him softly and producing an inner heat like nothing he’d ever felt before. Then her mouth was on his, hot and wet, kissing him hungrily until lack of oxygen forced him to tilt his head into the pillow and break the kiss. His eyes met hers.
“No, Luke. I haven’t changed my mind. I’m ready for this, more than ready.” Her eyes, already dark with passion, became ebony pools that filled his vision. “But I guess if you’re not ready...”
He quickly flipped her onto her back, unable to contain himself any longer. Her moans of rapture filled his ears as he kissed his way over her breasts, stopping only to suck gently on her nipples before continuing the trail of kisses down her abdomen. No, he’d never had sex before. But he’d listened to Windy and Deak and way too many X-Wing pilots as they’d boasted of their conquests, and he’d picked up a pretty good idea of how the female body worked. He kissed his way back up Lana’s writhing body and slipped a finger between her legs, delighted to see her back arch with pleasure as he caressed her clit. The theory worked!
She was soaring, melting, shuddering uncontrollably as he touched the places no-one else had ever touched. When she was finally able to open her eyes, it was to see his face, sweat-soaked strands of hair plastered to his cheeks, his blue eyes filled with desire. A desire for her. She had barely lifted her head from the pillow when it was pressed back as his mouth met hers. His body-weight shifted and he was suddenly over her, his legs between her thighs as he kissed her to oblivion.
She was so beautiful, her breath so sweet, her mouth delicious... Slowly he pushed into her, stopping as she tensed around him. Pain. Ecstasy. He would last about thirty seconds at this rate. Great way to show a girl a good time, Skywalker.
Her eyes squeezed shut, she concentrated on forcing every muscle below her waist to relax. The horror stories her girlfriends had told her of first-time sex crept insidiously into her mind, and she ruthlessly forced them aside. This was Luke Skywalker. The most gentle, kind... “Ow!”
“Oh, Gods! Are you okay?”
She opened her eyes and smiled at his worried expression. “I’m fine. Just a little ... umm ... surprised.” Her hands cradled his head and she pulled him down for another kiss. “I love you.”
He moved slowly inside her, determined not to cause her any more pain and frantically trying not to allow the tidal wave of euphoria he could feel building inside himself to take over. Not an easy task. He thought of engineering specifications, planetary statistics, even the mechanics of moisture vaporators - anything to distract his mind and body. Yet still he could barely contain his jubilation at making love with the woman he adored. Her fingers tensed on his back and she lifted her hips to meet him, whispering his name over and over. Finally, he buried his face in her neck, gulping in lungfuls of her unique scent, unable to hold himself back any longer. His cries mingled with hers, echoing round the sparse room, and he collapsed on top of her, completely spent.
*****
Memories of the one night they had enjoyed together kept him going for more than two weeks as he was dragged off on yet another reconnaissance mission with his squadron. He had stayed in Lana’s room for over 14 hours, enjoying her company and her body, forgetting about the Empire and the Rebellion for a while. It was a much more relaxed Luke Skywalker that finally kissed his lover goodbye as he left for his scheduled briefing.
But, at long last, it was time to return, and Luke couldn’t stop himself fidgeting excitedly as he watched his hyperdrive counter tick slowly down to zero as his X-Wing approached the Rebel’s hidden base. Nowhere had ever felt like home since he’d left Tatooine what seemed like a lifetime ago, but this tiny artificial construct hidden away in a rocky canyon on a virtually unknown Outer Rim planet was as close to ‘home’ as he could imagine, because there was a good chance that Lana would be there. Waiting for him.
Pushing the hyperdrive lever forward, he glanced left and right to check his squadron was still intact then began the slow descent into the planetary atmosphere. A self-satisfied grin settled on his face as initially the base, then his hanger grew larger in his viewport. First to land, he was out of his cockpit, down the ladder, and yanking off his helmet even before the sound of repulsors had died. Running a hand roughly through his tousled hair, he left his fighter in the capable hands of the chief mechanic and almost ran for the exit.
She wasn’t in the sims, or eating, or in the gymnasium. She wasn’t even propping up the bar, laughing with her friends. Whistling quietly to himself, Luke strode through the sleeping quarters towards Lana’s room, hoping she wouldn’t mind if he woke her up. Logic told him he should wait until morning, but his heart disagreed.
Knocking gently, he was surprised when the old-fashioned plasteel door swung inwards on its hinges. Peering into the gloom, he realized Lana wasn’t there and he was just about to leave when something caught his eye. In the middle of the perfectly made bed lay a small, slightly withered, white flower.
“Luke.”
He spun round at the sound of Han Solo’s voice - the tall Corellian was leaning against the doorframe, his arms folded tightly across his chest. “What’s going on, Han? Where’s Lana?”
Han’s eyes dropped to his scuffed boots and he swallowed hard before he could finally lift his head and meet his friend’s intense gaze. “Umm, she had to go on another supply run...”
“When is she due back, then?” Something about Han’s eyes, something about his demeanor ... something wasn’t right. A block of ice settled round his heart, slowly squeezing the air from his lungs. “Oh, Gods, she’s been hurt, hasn’t she? Where is she? Is she in the med bay? I have to see her...” He moved back towards the door, stopping only when Han blocked his way and laid his hands on Luke’s shoulders.
“Luke, I tried to meet you earlier, in the hanger ... but you’d already left.” He forced himself to look at the young pilot’s face. “Luke, Lana’s dead.”
He’d lost so much already, seen so many people hurt and killed. His adoptive parents, his mentor, friends and acquaintances, warriors and innocents - all had played a part in defining who he was and what he would become. And now Lana was gone...
Another tiny part of Luke Skywalker’s heart withered and died.
~FIN~