9. His mask is painted like Malibu Barbie.

8. On the net with his squeeze bottle is a box of Kentucky Fried Chicken.

7. He's wearing Magooesque glasses over his mask.

6. You find him in a fetal position in the corner of the net.

5. The ice level microphone keeps picking up sounds of him praying.

4. He's wearing a virtual reality mask.

3. He keeps using his big stick to tenderize meat.

2. His technique in stopping breakaways: Fake Seizures.

1. He tries not to get hit by the puck.