Casual Observances From College Life

I've been in college for less than a semester so I don't claim to be the master of the college life but I have learned quite a few things other than the role of Pope Gregory VII in the investiture contest.  This section changed a little from my original intention so I maybe won't offend my fellow college students quite so much; I probably still will anyway.  What follows is a a list of learned tidbits from the college experience.

1.  I heard that a college student can do 2 of 3 things: sleep, study, and party.  I have seen all three combinations.  I myself am a sleep/studier, and "partying" for me simply means "enjoying life."  I have to work to get any free time at all.

2.  What they tell you about your roommate being your "long lost twin" is a bunch of crap.

3.  If you and your roomie don't hit it off, don't let that discourage you from meeting people.  Look elsewhere.

4.  Sweet and sour sauce goes with ANYTHING.  Thank you, China.

5.  In college you will truly discover what subjects you like and which ones you hate.  I love German and detest math, even though I was good at it in high school.

6.  If you choose to be in marching band it will dominate your fall semester life.

7.  You will miss your friends back home more than you think.  But their lives go on and so does yours.  Change is hard to accept.

8.  Never go to take a shower wearing just a towel or robe.  Always take a set of clothes just in case of a fire alarm.  Fortunately I did not learn this first-hand; just a strategy I devised after one too many late night fire alarms.

9.  Trips home are nice but don't make them too often.

10.  Dorm food rates somewhere between high school cafeteria food and fast food.

12.  You will not survive your first week of college without being invited to several drinking parties.

13.  You will not survive your first week of college without several calls from credit card telemarketers.

14.  Playing with the minds of telemarketers can be very entertaining.

15.  College campuses are a place of highly hypocritical political correctness and freedom of expression.  Someone has the right to draw swastikas all over the place but if they call someone black instead of African-American they are a rascist.

16.  If you do not attend drinking parties you feel like a loser.  You are abnormal, whether you are of age or not.

17.  Someone near you will have the Ultimate Dorm Room that you can only dream of.

18.  Bringing a car to college is highly advisable, if you can handle the parking situation and, unlike me, like to drive.

19.  If you want to feel like a big man on campus, get up fairly early (as in, before 11) on Saturday or Sunday morning.  You and a few other stragglers will be the only ones awake in your dorm.

20.  Having class cancelled is nice, but that doesn't mean homework is cancelled.

21.  Bus drivers are nice folk, except for that one idiot that you swear has it in for you.

22.  The cafeteria is employed by a bunch of oddballs.

23.  If you can avoid it, don't work during college.

24.  The Internet is a wonderful tool for keeping in touch with friends and family.

25.  If I can graduate from this place in four years I will be a happy man.