You meet some strange creatures in this world, and any male of sixteen years is a strange creature, and Anders Lindstad is a male of sixteen years, and I am Anders Lindstad. Pleased to meet you.

Wee Anders was born in Haugesund Norge to Tor and El�sabet, two proud parents who couldn't have known that this little pink being would turn into such a complete weirdo. Dad and mum were keeping each other warm on a cold December night when one of his wigglies wound up in that curious place where I began, and after nine months of planning an all-out assault on the sanities of those who would be my friends and family, I exploded into this world on the 5th of September, 1987.

So far I've enjoyed being here. There are things I can't understand, such as people bombing on other people to 'create peace,' and there are things that amaze me, such as how we have developed the arts and sciences to the point where the common person can learn much and express much. I enjoy how someone invented the recip� for oat and raisin cookies, too.

I've never tried another one, but I still think my family is the best one for me. Mum and dad are good people, and the more I think about it and the older I get, the more I realise how true that is. I'm not sure what I think about my brother and perhaps that's 'cos the heart I feel about him is so giant that there isn't room in me for the mind to think about him.

I have always lived in Haugesund and that's fine with me. I like our town for most possible reasons. Our house is in the north part beside a lake. Jori lives here too. He's our hound who we sometimes call Edgar Allen Poe 'cos he dug up our dead cat twice and still digs all over to see if he can get the jackpot a third time. He's a morbid weirdo!

We like to travel and our best times have been at St. Petersburg, Iceland, Scotland, Troms� and the mountains in Telemark.

I have good friends who are real individuals. In his mind, Jostein is Arnold Schwarzenegger, and if a Jostein fan club existed, he would be president. Terje is good with people and can talk you into believing anything if you're not careful. Magnus is great at sports and technical thinking, and if Terje ever persuades the nation into making him prime minister, I hope Magnus is his first adviser because he's most intelligent. He's also dead gorgeous.

Sondre's one of few who can hug me. He earned the privilage from being a kind friend for so long that I even began to want to hug him, shock gasp! Bendu has the funniest, most clever ideas. He's notorious at school for his bad marks and his ability to improvise great raps on the spot. Morten is so quiet that people think he is depressed! He's a good person, and creative!

I'm weird about music, I hate almost all that I hear. I like �Pride� and �Beautiful Day� from U2 and �Biko� from Peter Gabriel a lot, and I like the Velvet Underground records and David Bowie's Hunky Dory record. But the music I love is Dmitrij Sjostakovitsj's music. He's a Russian composer and something in his music makes me feel like I'm crashing into life itself!

Books and films are much better for me than music, I think because books and films are more about characters than moods, and most music captures some mood and nothing more. Films I'm most fond of are �Wicker Man�, �Roman Polanski's le Locataire�, �Dr. Strangelove�, �This Sporting Life�, �Being There�, and �F. est un salaud�.

The books I most love are �The Loneliness Of The Long Distance Runner� from Alan Sillitoe, �Lolita� from Vladimir Nabokov, �Lord Jim� from Joseph Conrad, �The Catcher In The Rye� from JD Salinger, �Grendel� from John Gardner. So far I've liked all the books I've read from Salman Rushdie, EM Forster, Neil Gaiman, and I can't forget the Calvin & Hobbes stories!

Mum and dad are obsessed with being Christians and I think Jesus was one of the coolest men who ever lived, but I'm not a Christian and I'm atheist. Being ethical and kind no matter what is most important, and although the religions are meant to help people be ethical and kind, I think most people get caught up in their religions and stop seeing what is ethical and what is kind and start seeing only what is or isn't part of their religion.

I'm still learning about politics, so I'm not sure all of what I believe, but I know that President Bush is not my friend, and as much as he claims to be a Christian, his actions are nothing close to Jesus Christ's actions. People like Mandela and V�clav Havel remind me how great some leaders can be, and things would be so great in the world if all the nations followed the United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

In some nations, telling someone you're homo seems to be equal to telling them you kill old women with rocks, but trust me, I'm thus far innocent of that crime! I like chaps, that's all. Lots of people online ask what made me homo. I have no idea. What made them straight, I have to wonder.

I have had a boyfriend called Kristian since 11 December of last year. It's the first boyfriend for each of us. Interesting so far. The kisses are good!

Here's a homo filmguide I made for Liam and whomever else is interested.

Other interests include football with the mates, swimming, learning English, improving what miniscule talent I have with paints and pencils, being online to meet and learn from people of different ages and backgrounds, getting the most sun possible soaked into this white bum of mine, and writing the continuing sagas of Beega the self-loathing hermaphrodite slug.

In autumn 2001 an uncle gave me a computer and that's when I started spending time online. First I hung out in Norwegian chats, then moved to English chats last summer. Now I have a good crew of mates I talk with in person-to-person chats and I seldom go to public chats anymore.

The first online mates of mine were Petter and Kjersti from a nice regional chat, and Lars and S�g from a Norwegian homo chat. I still talk with S�g all the time and he's a genius. M�ns is the best Swede that ever lived and an honourary Norwegian, a title he cuddles. Dieter is this sweet German bloke who can be a bit deranged, and Katarina and I will be married in my next lifetime, provided I'm not homo twice in a row.

Rob's earned a P.H.D. in kindness from Universitetet i Lindstadland after overcoming his initial homophobia and becoming such a nice mate! One of the best ever if I'm down, takk. Then there's charming Ivar and that interesting Manhattaner who throws his voodoo nets into me and comes up with loads of personal thoughts and feelings that seldom surface.

There are others such as Usman, Ponku, Fima, M. Peace, Kate, her turtle Sam, Kushel, Shea, and even some Mir character. Nice I'm knowing them.

The future? Let's hope I'll have a great love, good health, the sense to appreciate the good that might come, and lots and lots of toffee, thanks!

Name: Anders Lindstad
Nicknames: None of them are in English.
Where you were born: Haugesund Sykehus
Where do you live now: Haugesund, Rogaland, Kongeriket Norge
Birthdate: 5. september 1987
Astrological sign: Virgo sun and Pisces moon.
School: is boring most of the time.
Hobbies: Reading, being with friends, football, jacking off.
Sports: Football, swimming, hiking, kayak.
Height: 177cm
Weight: 61k
Righthand or lefthand: Right
What do you think of the way you look: I am average looking.
What do you think about your attitude: I'm content most of the time.
What do you think about life after death: I don't think about it.
What do you think about karma: It's a selfish idea. I should be willing to help people even if I don't get the same in return, and loads of bad things happen to people who didn't deserve them.
What do you think about love: It's all we need, right John?
What do you think about fate: I don't believe in fate. I think we determine most things for ourselves. We're not robots.
What do you tell yourself if times get hard: Things change all the time. If things can go bad in little time, things can become good again in little time. Be patient and realistic.
What would you give your life for: Freedom or one night with Jude Law.
What do you think about your first love: I'm not in love so far.
What do you think about the first person that loved you: No one is in love with me either. �yvind doesn't count because he's deranged!
What are you scared of: Norge becoming like the United States, the house catching fire.
What was the saddest moment of your life so far: When grandpa had a heart problem.
What would life be without friends: Difficult.
What would life be without family: Difficult.
Do you dream a lot at night: Yes. I never have deep sleeps.
Do you dream in black and white or color: Color.
Do you remember any of your dreams: Yeah, all the time.
Where is your dream make out spot: Near a bed, a door with a lock, and a few condoms.
What is your dream kiss like: Should I write "sad and sticky" just to be interesting? This is a boring question.
What is your dream job: Novelist, but I could never have the talent.
Where is your dream house: Haugesund or Tysv�r or Sveio.
Where is your dream vacation: Himalayan Mountains.
Do you believe that your dreams are a gateway to your soul: If that were true, I would be in serious trouble!
Parents names: El�sabet Hj�lmarsd�ttir and Tor Lindstad
Do you live with both of them: Yes.
Do you have siblings and if so, names and ages: One brother called Vetle Ole Lindstad who is thirteen.
Do you get along with your siblings: It's up and down.
Do you get along with your parents: Yes.
Do you write in a journal or diary: No.
Do you keep an organizer: No.
Do you believe in love at first sight: Stranger things have happened.
Do you believe that every person has one soul mate: I think we all have lots of them. We are just too distracted to notice all of them, not in the right town to meet all of them, things like that.
Do you believe in god: Not at all.
Do you believe in everyone, even the beyond helpless: I think even the most fucked up person can be helped.
Do you believe in having a good education: Yeah!
Do you believe in horoscopes: No, but I sometimes read them to Rob.
Do you believe in yourself: That reminds me, I should purchase more candles to light at the Anders Lindstad alter. Oh Anders, you're so wonderful! I know, thanks. You're welcome, oh great one! Yes yes, now finish the damn questions. A sacred request! Psh. A sacred mumbling! *breaks neck* Yes yes, make me your sacrificial lamb!
Do you shower daily: Yes.
Do you cry easily: Not at all.
Do you believe in Heaven: No.
Do you believe in Hell: No.
Do you believe in reincarnation: No.
Favorite day of the week: Sunday
Favorite ice-cream: Vanilla
Favorite movies: �Dr. Strangelove�, �F. est un salaud�, and �Being There�.
Favorite actors: Peter Sellers
Favorite actresses:
Favorite quote:
Favorite songs: U2's �Beautiful Day� and the Beatles' �Come Together�.
Favorite music groups:
Favorite music singers:
Favorite holiday: Christmas!
Favorite season: The autumn season.
Favorite colors: Orange, brown, yellow.
Favorite flowers: Magnolia, which is also a beautiful name.
Favorite book: �The Loneliness Of The Long Distance Runner�.
Favorite school subject: Sports.
Who is your best friend: I don't have a single best friend.
List your other friends here: Sondre, Terje, Morten, Jostein, Bendu, Magnus, and Kristian are local friends. Ivar, S�g, Rob, Katarina, Dieter, and Andrew are online friends.
Which friend is the funniest: Bendu and Morten in a tie.
Which friend do you tell your dreams to: No particular one.
Which friend do you tell your fears to: I think it would be Morten.
Which friend do you go to for advice: That's S�g.. smart man!
Which friend have you dreamt about: Most if not all of them.
Which friend knows everything about you: I'm not the kind to be hidden.
Which friend do you tell your secrets to: Still not the kind to be hidden.
Which friend is the most shy: Morten is the master of shy.
Which friend is the loudest: Rob!
Which friend is the most trendy: I don't know about that, but Magnus is the beautiful one. He has amazing looks!
Which friend can be the most annoying: I'm more annoying than them, trust me.
Which friend lives the farthest away from you: Rob.
Which friend lives closest to you: Sondre.
Which friend are you most alike: Morten, which could explain how come I tease him all the time about his characteristics.
What do you look for in a friend: Someone who bathes and does kindness.
If you had the choice to spin around the sun or walk on the moon, which would you choose and why: I would choose to walk on the moon. Spinning around the sun sounds long and dizzy. I'd rather be on my feet.
What color do you think best describes you and why: I would like to be most like brown because it is nothing special and doesn't ask for attention, but some of the most useful things such as dirt and wood are brown. I don't want to stand out as a great hero, but I do want to be a useful person. This is such a cheesy answer to such a cheesy question.
If you could be doing anything right now, what would you be doing: I would be writing this. If I would rather be doing another thing, I would be doing another thing.
Would you ever share you heart completely with someone else and why or why not: If I can fall in love sometime, I'll want him to see all the parts of me so he'll understand me and see what I can do to help him and see what he can do to help me.
Which sense could you not live without and why: Touch. It would be sad to miss out on nice sights, nice smells, nice tastes, or nice sounds, but far more than sad to miss out on hugs and making love, don't you agree?
Have you ever written on a mirror and if so, what did you write: I draw shapes instead of words.
If you could change one thing you did in the last 24 hours what would it be and why: That is involving someone that could read this, so I'm not telling!
Do you prefer sleeping outside beneath the night sky or in your cozy bed indoors: Beneath the sky if the weather is good for it.
What is the most beautiful thing in the world: People being kind.
Name one person whose changed your life for the better: Mum and dad.
What can someone do to you that would turn you on physically: I'm not sure if there is a particular thing. It's not hard to turn me on!
What can someone do to you that would turn you on mentally: Teach me something important to me or allow me to teach something important to me.
If you knew you were going to pass away within the next few days, what would be the last thing you say and who would you say that to: Tell brother to be kind all his life, no matter what.
What is one thing that can make you smile no matter what mood you're in: Kindness.
If you could meet anyone, past or present, dead or alive, who would you meet and why: I would meet Jesus so I can ask him to tell modern Christians to stop making wars and scorning people who are different from them. The modern Christians would no doubt crucify him again.


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