Saturday 3rd February 2001,
Hmm well what�s happened? I went and sat in the court room for about ten hours with Amanda (Mandy) and Michael and their cutie pie son Daniel on Tuesday. Then I took the day off work Wednesday and stayed at their house that night.
I got two new tyres put on my car and hmm? Thursday night I went to VD Lounge again. Clint came with me. I know he only came because he thought he�d stay the night here. I disappointed him. He he. But I stayed until four o�clock with Sarah, Jill, Anna and Macca. It was a fantastic night. I�m still recovering though.
Friday night I did nothing. Tonight I�m working. Apart from that I�ve been watching the cricket and doing nothing! God help me. BYE!!
Monday 29th January 2001,
I did absolutely nothing Friday night!! Boring. Well I did watch the cricket.
Saturday night Sasha and I went to 21st. It wasn�t bad. I met a well dressed young man called Damien who I am told likes me.
I also saw Martin and Andrew and Ben there. They gave me a lift home. They went to the Big Day Out on Sunday. Lucky people. I really like the look of Martin and the more I see him the more I like him. Something tells me I have no chance though.
Hmm what else. My parents and Emily came to visit on Sunday. It all went smoothly. Phew! We basically just watched the cricket and we went to Not Quite Right and mum brought me some cheap food stuff.
I�m working tonight and apart from that it�s life as usual! BYE!
Friday 26th January 2001,
Happy Australia Day!!
Last night was a social disaster and great at the same time. Clint, Steve and Tim went to the VD lounge with me then Tim left to meet Rachael and Luke at the 21st.
Clint had to work today so Steve and him left almost straight after Tim did. So I went over to 21st. It was crap so I conned them into going back over to VD lounge. There was a huge queue. We waited for a while but Tim, Luke and Rachael decided to leave. Lucky for me Leaha was there so she let me tag along. It was a good night after all and I got to know Leaha better too.
I worked this morning and cleaned up the place a bit. My parents are coming to visit on Sunday. Apart from that it�s life as usual and I dunno what I�m doing tonight!! BYE!!
Wednesday 24th January 2001,
Shit! Sorry I haven�t written. I haven�t even been that busy. Well I have actually. Last Friday we went to the 21st and Clinton gave me a lift home. I invited him in for coffee if you know what I mean. Saturday night we went to 21st again for John�s birthday. It was ace. I spent too much money but it was still ace. Friday it was just Clint, me and Steve Peirce. Saturday it was myself, Tim, Brett, Nick, Luke, Rachael, John, Ben, Sasha, Steve and Matt. Matt and I were the last to leave. Ace night.
Sunday I was woken up by three sexy men, Tim, Brett and Nick. We went and saw Human Nature and Invertigo. I thought it was great but they were a bit bored.
Yesterday I spent a lot of time on the net chatting and I�ve met a New Zealand guy in Richmond who I�m going to meet tomorrow. If there�s no more entries you�ll know he�s an axe murderer. Ha ha.
I can hear thunder right now. It�s SOOOO loud. Cool change is coming in thank God.
That�s about it. BYE!
Thursday 18th January 2001,
Last night was, err fun. I got a little bit drunk. Nothing like what I was at Adam�s place last Thursday though. I was still sophisticated at the work party. Well until I went for a walk with this guy and kissed him. Don�t get me wrong he was cute. And I guess I was flattered that he had the guts to ask me. He was seventeen though. My mother would have been ashamed. He was kinda good looking but a pain in the ass. �I just wanna kiss you� �You�re so hot� �I�m not a sleaze I�m a virgin!� He was a dork. Amanda said I had taste in my proverbial. In those words!
Anyway Elaine wanted to go home pretty early, but the music was turned off by then so we went. I got to know Scott, Dwayne�s friend a lot better. He�s cool. I also spoke to Jarred for ages. He�s so, nice.
Peter was flirting with Rachael (huge breasts) and well I didn�t want to see it. He was pissed enough not to care. She was, well lucky! It was a side of Peter I didn�t need to see, drunk and hormonal. We�re going to Voodoo Lounge tonight, my fav place! Yey! Well that�s it. BYE!
Wednesday 17th January 2001,
Jerremy had to go to Melbourne today, to see his specialist. He was supposed to call in here on his way back. I�ve lost all hope he�s going to. I don�t think he wants to see me when he doesn�t look as good as he used to. His back has been non stop trouble for him and well I feel like he�s dying and he must do too. I�ll cry for a week when he does.
I can�t wait until tonight. I still have lots to do before I go though, cleaning the house and also myself, make-up etc. I can�t wait!!!
That�s about it! BYE!
Tuesday 16th January 2001,
I had a dud birthday, well a quite one. I went to mum and dads and watched the cricket. Then we had Chinese for tea. Yey.
I now have a house full of food. I did the shopping the other day.
I had a LONG day at work yesterday, I did swing.
Hmm what else? Nothing I guess. Tim�s got a date tonight with Sandra who he was with at Adam�s. Doh!
I�m feeling pretty depressed about everything although I�m looking forward to the staff party tomorrow night. BYE!
Saturday 13th January 2001,
It�s my nineteenth Birthday tomorrow and I�m going to mum�s house. She loves me and can�t wait to see me. She�s the only one. Elaine is out tonight, so is Tim, Clint�s too tired, Andrew�s also going out, Melody might call me if she gets permission to leave the house alone. It�s unfair. Well it�s discouraging. I�m lonely.
I�m wearing my long blue dress and I�m wrapped in a shiny golden piece of material which ought to be infecting me with happiness of some kind. It�s not working. I�m going to turn to crystals, candles and meditation I think.
I also have the night off work. Peter rang me out of the blue. I�m wishing someone rang and got me the night off so they could all show up here and surprise me. I don�t have friends like that though.
I�m depressed. Anthony didn�t show up Thursday night. Adam cracked onto Melody, I threw up, Tim got out of bed to talk to me and didn�t show any signs of anything other than wanting to go to sleep. It was a fantastic night! Not. Well I did have fun but not like I was planning.
Hmmm. BYE!
Wednesday 10th January 2001,
I rang Clint today and he�s totally cool with everything!! He wants to still be friends too. Much as I like him to be devastated I�m so glad we�ll still be friends because my social life wont suffer then.
I also can�t wait until Thursday night but I have to be back here early Friday morning because I have to take my car to the mechanic to be repaired. More money needed!!!! It�s running really hot and the guy from number fourteen thinks the water pump has died!!! Argh!!! Tim�s taking me to work tomorrow morning and Elaine�s mum is picking me up!! ARGH!!!
That�s about it! I�m just excited Clint�s gonna be my friend. He�s going to be the best mate ever!! BYE!!
Tuesday 9th January 2001,
My God!! I broke up with Clint. I rang him and left a message on his message bank. I can�t believe I did it in such a gutless way but I just couldn�t say it to his face. Now I�m starting to think he really likes me. I feel guilty. I almost hope he rings me and says we shouldn�t break up because he loves me. I told him that because I was going to fall in love with him I had to end it.
It was also a little bit Anthony. But he�s doing the single thing for a while and I can totally understand that. In fact I think I�m going to go back to the old, flirtatious, single Ana who had so much fun as a sixteen-year-old. I just have to stop myself having a thing with him on Thursday night now. If he wants a proper relationship I�ll think about it but if he wants something casual I wont do it because I know I�ll get attached and hurt.
Hmm I wonder hoe Clint will react. I hope he rings me and begs me to start again. I doubt it but it would be nice. Then I have the problem of accepting his offer. And you know I think I would and then regret it on Thursday night.
I�ve told Tim and the first thing he asked was if I was going after Anthony!! It was as if he knew About us being together but he doesn�t he only knows I think he�s nice and funny. Which he is, and sexy too.
How did my love life get so complicated all of a sudden. I�m the one who always knows what�s going on, how I feel, how they feel, what guys are thinking and so on. It�s weird for me to be confused. Although I have been confused lately about Clint. That�s another reason it had to end, to end the confusion that went along with him.
So I�m all set for a big night on Thursday. I have a full bottle of Malibu and lemonade to go with hit. I�ll wear my black jeans and bum hugging, slimming thingy I brought the other day and I haven�t decided on a top yet but I think I�ll go with a tank top to show cleavage. BYE!!
Monday 8th January 2001,
Hmm well. Mum hadn�t put the money for my car in the bank for me so I had to get Tony the cleaner to drive me home because I couldn�t take my car without paying first.
But I�m home now. I�ve rung work and told them I can�t come in tomorrow. So now I just hope Tim or someone can give me a lift to Cranbourne to get my car as the money is there now.
Hmm what else? I spoke to Anthony on the phone when I rang Adam and I had the guts to ask him for a relationship. He said no and that�s cool with me though. I just have to stop myself having a thing with him because I will get attached and I think he still is hung up on Elisa or whatever his ex-girlfriends name is.
Anyway! I had to waste a whole lot of time today. I spent ten dollars I shouldn�t have, on a black skirt with little flower thingys in one corner and a see through lacy thing that goes around your waist. It highlights the hips and not the stomach, which looks perfect on me with my potbelly.
I guess that�s it!! BYE!!!
Sunday 7th January 2001,
Work has turned out fine. I won the prize last night for selling the most loyalty cards.
It�s a photo frame which surprisingly I�ve put Clint�s photo in. I don�t know why. I guess I was just looking for a good excuse to break up with him and now I think I have one.
I did something terrible to get it though. I went home with Anthony. He�s a friend of Adam�s that I�ve met once or twice before. He�s funny, smart and now I�m seeing that he�s also very talented. He plays guitar and his band has CD�s out and he also write poetry and may get a six year contract with a publisher.
I also think he�s seeing someone else but there�s still a chance we could end up together. So I�m planning to break up with Clint on Tuesday if he comes over. Then hopefully I�ll see Anthony on that Thursday at Adam�s where we are having a TAFE get together.
The whole thing was bad though. I nearly slept with him but then I got guilty feelings and couldn�t do it.
I guess that�s the total excitement in my life at the moment. BYE!
Friday 5th January 2001,
Well I had a bad night at work last night. I said something that came out the wrong way and got into trouble. I think I may even lose my job! Oh well, easy come easy go.
Clint stayed last night after we went to the Voodoo Lounge which is now officially my favourite place to go. I love it and it�s not expensive either!!
It was sweet of him to stay because it�s that time of the month and we couldn�t have sex. Also he drove Steven home which is to Mornington and then came all the way back here. Ahhh.
I�m working again tonight and then we�re going to the 21st. Clint�s not coming because he�s been called into work tomorrow.
Wednesday 3rd January 2001,
Hmm. Today is my first swing shift which means I worked this morning and I will work again tonight. I do have about three hours in between which is why I have time to write here.
I�m tired as anything and I feel horrid, I�m coughing all the time and it�s gross.
Apart from that I met Pete�s brother today. He�s almost as attractive as Pete. His girlfriend asked which one I thought was better looking, well I was too embarrassed to say that I thought Pete was a hunny and I�d take him to meet my mother any day!!! Oh that�s right I�m still with that jerk Clint!!!
What can I say, I�m stupid! But I do like him. He�s fun to be around and sexy as anything. Sigh. BYE!!
Tuesday 2nd January 2001,
I rang mum today. Dad had the day off, meanwhile I�ve got twenty six hours over nine days. I don�t mind the extra cash though.
I brought some more pieces of material today. Red and silver pieces to go over my chair which now looks a thousand times better, as does my coffee table.
I also brought a green floral dress and a CD rack that holds sixty CD�s.
I have to get someone in to fix my washing machine. It overflows because it doesn�t know when to stop adding water.
Hmmm. That�s it!! BYE!!!
Monday 1st January 2001,
I don�t know how I feel!! I think I will forgive Clint. We went out on Friday and had a great time. I met a girl he knows, sure they flirted but he came home with me. I don�t want to change him. I want to know how he feels about me though. We spent a quite New Years Eve together as he had to work today at six am.
I think I�m just going to see how things go and try not to fall in love with him.
What else is new? I walked into town today and got a bit of shopping. It was boiling hot out there!!
I�m now letting the cat out of the house and she�s worked out how to get home again which is great.
I brought some white shoes for work. And I got an extra shift from Rachael on Wednesday!
I�m feeling weird, scared about Clint and kinda cruisey at the same time. I guess that sums it up!! BYE!
Friday 29th December 2000,
Well!! I rang Clint last night and he told me why he was acting funny. He went on a date on Boxing Day!!! I knew something was up but I wouldn�t have guessed that. I was mad, then sad, then I cried, then I rang Andrew, then I went to a nightclub with Tim to drink away my troubles.
We went to the Voodoo Lounge. I haven�t been there before and it was great. The prices are good too. Tim stayed here but ofcourse nothing happened.
Then today I rang him and he got his mate Steve to answer the phone. He also went out last night, knowing I wouldn�t trust him! So I was not happy Jan!!(a saying from a television commercial)
But he came over here and we talked. He admitted it was a date and he had intentions of romance but he still doesn�t know why he did it. He IS sorry though and he understands that I don�t trust him now. I guess he�s willing to try and work through it if I am. I think I am stupid for staying with him!! I can�t help it. He�s so sexy and he�s got just the attitude I need close to me.
We�re going out tonight, with Tim and his friends also.
Anyway I�m going to see how things go. I feel like we�ve broken up already and I just don�t know it yet. Hmmm maybe I should tell him that???
An interesting concept!! BYE!!
Thursday 28th December 2000,
Clint and I have had a fight. Well not exactly, he simply got annoyed with me and left without giving me a kiss this-morning. The weird thing is I don�t really know what�s wrong. I didn�t make love to him this morning and he got upset. I don�t know if he�s feeling insecure about himself or if he�s just being selfish.
Either way he didn�t tell me how he was feeling very well and I�m confused as to exactly what�s wrong with him. I don�t know if I should ring him and apologise straight away or let him cool down for a day or so. The thing is I don[�t know what I�m apologising for either.
I drank my two hundred ml bottle of Jack Daniel�s last night. The whole lot. I was rotten!!! Clint was supposed to drink it with me but he didn�t feel like it. So I drank alone. It�s ok that never usually happens and I rarely drink at all.
Apart from all that I had a couple of voids at work and I got in trouble. Wilson (the manager) isn�t happy.
All round a wonderful day yesterday.
NOT! BYE!
Wednesday 27th December 2000,
Well Christmas was fine. We had a lovely lunch at the Elizabethan�.Emily had a great time too. I got a lot of little things from my parents for the house, oven mitts, tools, a block of knives, and so on. I got a HUGE make-up set, a gold watch and a forty dollar voucher for Myer from my uncle, and grandfather. We had a lovely day there but there was a lot of driving involved as they live about two hours from here and three from my parents.
I�m cleaning up today, and moving a single bed into my spare room.
I have a lot to do so I�d better go. BYE!
Sunday 24th December 2000,
I have a lot to do today. The usual cleaning and work tonight but I�ve also got to get ready to go to mum�s for two days, including organising the cat and packing.
I fell weird, bored and rushed at the same time.
I don�t know if I want to see my grandfather. He�s com over here from America and we�re going to see him at my uncles in Geelong on Boxing day. He used to hit my grandmother and then he left them. Just because he was a bad person back then doesn�t mean he still is but I still find it hard to see him.
I think that�s about all I have to say today, for now. I�d better go! BYE!!
Saturday 23rd December 2000,
Today is Clint�s Birthday. I gave him a fishing book that had funny cartoon all through it. He thought it was hilarious. Also I gave him some boxer-shorts with a fisherman on them. He also opened his Christmas present today as I wont see him over Christmas. I gave him a yellow t-shirt which is an expensive brand name he loves. He opened all this this-morning because we went out last night and he stayed here. We went to Red in Mornington. It�s a small place but it�s very classy and fun. Tim, Nick Callam, Brett and Matt were there for a little while as well as Clint Steve and I. We left pretty early because Tim and friends left early.
What else has happened? Clint gave me a cuddly clown for Christmas, a green tablecloth with a white lacy thing to go over the top and a cook ornament for the kitchen.
I have to work tonight and tomorrow night as well.
Not much else is new.
Nick pinched my ass at Red. I wonder sometimes if he would have stayed with me. I had a casual relationship with him in between Michael and Clint. Nick liked me I think but more as friends.
Well I�m going to clean up now. BYE!
Wednesday 20th December 2000,
Yesterday turned out to be a horrid day all round. I had an accident in my car on the way to work. No-one was hurt thank God but I did five hundred and fifty dollars worth of damage to my car plus the four hundred dollar excess from the insurance on the lady�s car I damaged. It�s my first accident and I�ve had my car and licence for nearly a year. It could have been worse.
Then when I got home I put a load of washing on a went to bed. Well it flooded half of the house!!! The carpet is nearly dry now.
Apart from that I brought myself a set of eighteen glasses and some cutlery. They�re quite nice, and were affordable.
Clint is coming over to stay with me tonight. Sigh.
What else? I did an I Ching reading and I got the Lake Water set which means I need to take time out and relax because I�m run down. I have a wonderful book which is not the traditional I Ching book but the authors interpretation for today�s women. Hmmm.
I still haven�t organised the bathroom! It�s on my list. I guess that�s about all I have to say. BYE!
Tuesday 19th December 2000,
Well today feels like the first day of the rest of my life. I think it is. I know it is�..everyday is.
I moved into this apartment on Saturday. I love it. I�m on the top floor, which is the second floor. I don�t have a great view unless you count the freeway where traffic fly�s by constantly. But I have lots of space, and freedom as I�m living on my own. Well I do have my cat Bushy with me.
The other thing that�s great is I�m walking distance from TAFE where I�ll start my second year of a Biological Science Diploma next year.
I�m about half an hour from the restaurant where I work as a waitress and about forty minutes from Clints house. He�s the sweetest guy and we�ve been seeing each other for about two months. He�s nearly twenty two and I�m nearly nineteen so we suit each other as he�s still young at heart and like to go out and party.
I�m also close to Tim�s house. He�s my best mate from TAFE.
The only thing I�m a long way away from is my parents who live about an hour and a bit away. I�m going to see them for Christmas. I miss them a lot as we were pretty close.
Life�s pretty good. I�ve only been at this job for a month or so and I love it. It�s at Lonestar which is a very American steakhouse, casual dining restaurant. They�re so friendly and light-hearted. I�m pretty outgoing so I fit in well.
What else? Hmm well I have a lot to do today. I haven�t sorted the bathroom our properly yet. BYE!
OLD JOURNAL
