One of the reasons why I have no confidence in the medical/psycological service is that when I was rushed into hospital after my suicide attempt the first thing the psycologist asked me was if I had done it because Take That had just split up, I could have ripped her head off. I hated Take That and there I was needing help, falling of the edge and she treated me like some stupid little school girl.

I carried on seeing her and after I had poured my heart out about my mum and childhood, she told me it was all in the past and I had to forget about it and get on with my life. She later went on to ignore my wishes and invite my mum into my sessions - thats when I stopped going.

They also put me on the childrens ward because I was 15, but I was 6 foot 2, the bed was too small, lights went out at 7pm and everyone else would stop to read my chart at the end of the bed.

Its funny to think back to it now but I think one of the reasons I didnt try again even though I wanted too was that I couldnt stand it to fail again and have to go through all that.

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