For the next week Hawkeye did his best to settle into the civilian life he had left behind three years ago. He figured it would be easy, but it was much more difficult than he had thought. He didn't want to go back to work right away, but just take a few weeks off, and get back into a normal schedule of three real meals a day, and sleeping in the night time, without choppers waking him up. But he couldn't sleep regardless. His bed was as comfy as ever, he would be tired, but he just wouldn't go to sleep. He'd walk into town, but seen as how all of Crabapple Cove knew the doctor, he couldn't walk five feet without someone stopping him. He'd say the same thing over again, until he didn't even think about it: "Yes, it's good to be home" "Yeah, it was horrible over there", or the worst one of all "I agree, it's sad. Yes what happened to Tommy was a tragedy"

Many of the older women of the town didn't understand that Tommy had died on his operating table, and there was nothing he could have done to save him. They all brought it up as if it was just another piece of gossip.

Once he had enough of this, he decided to go down behind his house, through a few trees and onto a little beach that was very secluded. No one else went there, so there was plenty of privacy. His mother showed him this place when he was a little boy, and he came here everyday with her. When she died, he would come and just sit for hours, thinking, crying, or just staring into space. He never showed anyone else this spot. Daniel knew about it, but would never go down there.

He walked over to the big spruce tree. The rope that used to old a tire swing was still there. His mother used to push him on it long ago. The tire was long since gone, but he always sat on the rock beside it facing out towards the sea, and thought. His thoughts drifted back to Margaret. He wanted so bad to feel her in his arms, but knew it was impossible. She could be God knows where. If she stayed in the army, she could be anywhere on Earth, and if she got out of the army she could be at any hospital in any city in the States. It would be next to impossible to track her down, and even if he could, he wasn't sure she'd want him to. Hawkeye ran his fingers through his peppery hair as he always did when he thought. Looking at his watch he realized it was almost suppertime, and his dad was cooking his famous spaghetti dinner. He ran into the house, and could smell the sauce cooking. It smelled so good, it was a sin to consider that the army considered the slop they had served him for three years food.

"DAD! I'm back!!" There was no answer. "Dad?" He ran up the stairs into the kitchen and saw a note Hawkeye, Had to go to the store to get some more stuff for dinner. I'll be back in 10 minutes. Don't let the sauce burn on or boil over. Dad

Shrugging, Hawkeye went over to the stove and stirred the sauce. Oh, it smelled divine! He sampled just a little bit and nearly melted. He forgot what real food had tasted like. Just as he did so, the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey hey!!! Old buddy! Figured you'd be back home by now so I thought I'd give ya a ring!"

"Trapper?"

"The one and only! How've a been old pal?"

"Great!" He then thought about how Trapper had left him, and fell silent.

"Look, Hawk. I know what you're thinking. I should have left a note. I tried, dammit, I tried. I think I probably killed about 20 tress in paper, but I just didn't know what to say. How can you tell someone how much they mean to you after living in each other's back pocket for a full year?! I'm really sorry."

He breathed a sigh of relief. He was glad that his friend realized. "It's okay, Trapp. It's all water under the bridge now. Sure, I was a little hurt, and I never forgot about it, but I'm fine now, and the more I thought about it, the more I figured that you had tried, but just couldn't do it. I don't think I could have."

"So, have you had any hot dates yet?"

"Trapp I just got home" he laughed about it but deep inside he only wanted Margaret, but he just couldn't tell him that.

"Well I think you should come up the weekend to Boston. I got this nurse for you who can't wait to meet you. I think she's a little, ya know, lonely.?" He said suggestively.

"Well, Trapper, thanks for the offer, but I don't really feel up to it, not right yet."

"Okay, but I tell ya you're missin out on one great nurse! I was thinking about maybe us going out on a double date, but since you ain't gonna be there, I'll just have more girls to myself"

"Haha, Trapp, I don't think your wife would be too pleased if you just brought along another girl with you two."

"My wife?! Oh, you thought that I'd be going with Louise.oh."

"What, you're not? How come? She didn't leave you did she?"

"No, I just had a different girl to bring."

"You what?? With your wife home waiting for you?"

"Well, I mean, you never said anything about it in Korea, Hawk"

"I thought that that was just because we were 20, 000 miles from home and you were just lonely! I would never have done what you did with the nurses over there, let alone at home! I thought you were better than that!"

"Well, you know, I got needs, and sometimes Louise doesn't fulfill them, so you know."

"No, I don't know. I mean, what about your girls?! Don't you love them? If Louise finds out, she'll be heart broken! She'll leave you, and take the girls with her! You should give it up, and unless you change your ways, I really got nothing else to say to you"

"Hawk, Look-"

Hawkeye had enough, and slammed the phone down. He never thought he would do that to his friend, but he needed a good talking to. He wasn't ready for a date with another girl. He only wanted Margaret. And the fact that Trapper could say he loved someone and do that to her was disgusting. He wished he had said something in Korea. He regretted that he never considered how Becky, Cathy and Louise would feel.

He didn't even notice his dad was standing there next to him in the kitchen.

"It's okay son. He deserved it. He needed someone to give him a good talking to. Maybe now he might open his eyes a bit. For now, you should forget that and come have supper. Oh, I left to pick up this."

He showed his son a blueberry cheesecake.

"Ellie made this for you down at her bakery. She's glad you made it home alright."

Ellie was Tommy's mother, and she had been heartbroken, as any mother would when her son died. Her husband had died years before in a car crash, and it seemed that his dad and Ellie had gotten a lot closer. She missed her husband and son, and Hawkeye figured she was probably looking for someone to help fill that void.

"Gee, tell her I said thanks dad. And Supper tastes great too. You know, being here all day has given me too much time to think. Tomorrow morning I'm gonna get up and go down to the hospital and see if they can give me a job." Although Crabapple Cove itself was a very small town, Crabapple Cove General was a very large hospital. It served most of the smaller towns on the around the area, right up to Portland. They had their own hospital there.

"Okay, that's great. You know you can join me at my office, but I guess stuffy noses and hypochondriacs just isn't what you want to deal with. You know, they've gotten a few new doctors already who came back from the war. Nurses too" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. His father was the same way as Hawkeye when it came to nurses, or had been, before he had met Hawkeye's mother. "But seriously, I heard that their chief surgeon just got a new job at Portland Mercy, and they already know you over there. A few of the doctors even fixed your scraped knees and helped you get over the flu when you were little. The doctor who delivered you is still there. I couldn't do any of that because when my little boy was hurt I was too nervous and all the medical knowledge just left my head until you were better."

"Gee, that's a comforting thought, Dad. I suppose if I ever get kids of my own I'll probably be the same way."

"You'd better, I can't wait for grandkids!"

"Well, Dad, first I'd at least like to find a girl. It's kind of difficult to have a kid I my own, you know. but first, job. I'll go down tomorrow to get one."