You Know You Work In Oil & Gas if:

    1.  You sat at the same desk for 3 years and worked for 3 different companies.

   2.  Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro.

   3.  Your CV is on a diskette in your pocket.

   4.  Your company logo on your badge is applied with a Post-It note.

   5.  You have to call home to check the weather.

   6.  When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.

   7.  You get really excited about a 2% pay rise.

   8.  You learn about your layoff on the BBC.

   9.  Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.

  10. Your boss hasn't the ability to do your job assignment.

  11. You sit in a cubicle smaller than your wardrobe.

  12. Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the 3rd World  countries' annual budgets.

  13. Your 2 yr. old kid knows how to get to your company and to your cubicle, and it is referred to as daddy's room.

  14. You think lunch is just another meeting .

  15. It's dark when you drive to and from work.

  16. Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.

  17. You see a good-looking person and know it is a visitor.

  18. A tie is hanging in your cubicle.

  19. Free food left over from meetings is your main staple diet.

  20. Weekends are those days your spouse makes you stay at home.

  21. Being sick is defined as being unable to walk or you're in the hospital.

  22. Art involves a white board.

  23. You're already late on the assignment you just got.

  24. When 100% of your time means 20 hours.

  25. You work 200 hours for the £100 bonus and jubilantly say "Oh wow, thanks!" 

  26. All real work gets started after 5pm or on weekends.

  27. Everyone fights fires (i.e. problems).

  28. Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cubicle.

  29. Plants in your cubicle are healthier than your plants at home.

  30. Your boss's favourite lines are "when you get a few minutes", "in your spare time", "when you're freed up", and         "I have an opportunity for you."

  31. 10% of the people you work with - no one (boss included) knows what they do.

  32. Vacation is something you rollover to next year or a cheque you get every January.

  33. Change is the norm.

  34. Nepotism is encouraged.

  35. The only reason you recognise your kids is because their pictures are hanging in your cubicle.

  36. You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.

  37. Moving targets are employees, goals, and budgets.

  38. You read this entire list and understood it.

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