Music Related Insults

I love his work but I couldn't warm to him even if I was cremated next to him.
- - - Keith Richards (about Chuck Berry)

I think Mick Jagger would be astounded and amazed if he realized to how many people he is not a sex symbol but a mother image.
- - - David Bowie

He sings like he's throwing up.
- - - Andrew O'Connor (about Bryan Ferry)

The instant asphalt Elvis from Philadelphia.
- - - Fred Schuers (about Fabian)

Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress.
- - - Joan Rivers

Michael Jackson was a poor black boy who grew up to be a rich white woman.
- - - Molly Ivins

Michael Jackson's album was only called "Bad" because there wasn't enough room on the sleeve for "Pathetic."
- - - The Artist Formerly Known as Prince (about Michael Jackson)

He moves like a parody between a majorette girl and Fred Astaire.
- - - Truman Capote (about Mick Jagger)

He sounds like he's got a brick dangling from his willy, and a food-mixer making purée of his tonsils.
- - - Paul Lester (about Jon Bon Jovi)

Pamela Lee said her name is tattooed on her husband's penis. Which explains why she changed her name from Anderson to Lee.
- - - Conan O'Brien (about Tommy Lee)

He could be a maneuvering swine, which no one ever realized.
- - - Paul McCartney (about John Lennon)

A deadly, winking, sniggering, snuggling, chromium-plated, scent-impregnated, luminous, quivering, giggling, mincing heap of mother love.
- - - William Connor (about Liberace)

Sleeping with George Michael would be like having sex with a groundhog.
- - - Boy George

When you talk to him, he looks at you and grins and grins and nods and nods and appears to be the world's best listener, until you realize he is not listening at all.
- - - Larry L. King (about Willie Nelson)

I didn't know her well, but after watching her in action I didn't want to know her well.
- - - Joan Crawford (about Judy Garland)

She ought to be arrested for loitering in front of an orchestra.
- - - Bette Midler (about Helen Reddy)

A cross between an aardvark and an albino rat.
- - - John Simon (about Barbra Streisand)

All legs and hair with a mouth that could swallow the whole stadium and the hot-dog stand.
- - - Laura Lee Davies (about Tina Turner)

Her voice sounded like an eagle being goosed.
- - - Ralph Novak (about Yoko Ono)

If I found her floating in my pool, I'd punish my dog.
- - - Joan Rivers (about Yoko Ono)

He looks like a dwarf who's been dipped in a bucket of pubic hair.
- - - Boy George (about Prince, 1986)

Even the deaf would be traumatized by prolonged exposure to the most hideous croak in Western culture. Richards's voice is simply horrible.
- - - Nick Coleman (about Keith Richards)

He plays four-and-a-half-hour sets. That's torture. Does he hate his audience?
- - - John Lydon (about Bruce Springsteen)

He was so mean it hurt him to go to the bathroom.
- - - Britt Eklund (about Rod Stewart)

'Slavic March' -- "One feels that the composer must have made a bet, for all his professional reputation was worth, that he would write the most hideous thing that had ever been put on paper, and he won it, too.
- - - Boston Evening Transcript (about Tchaikovsky, 1883)

I love Wagner, but the music I prefer is that of a cat hung by its tail outside a window and trying to stick to the panes of glass with its claws.
- - - Charles Baudelaire (about Richard Wagner)

Wagner was a monster. He was anti-Semitic on Mondays and vegetarian on Tuesdays. On Wednesday he was in favor of annexing Newfoundland, Thursday he wanted to sink Venice, and Friday he wanted to blow up the pope.
- - - Tony Palmer (about Richard Wagner)

Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
- - - Edgar Wilson "Bill" Nye

He sang like a hinge.
Ethel Merman (about Cole Porter)

Elvis transcends his talent to the point of dispensing with it altogether.
- - - Greil Marcus (about Elvis Presley, 1976)

Presley sounded like Jayne Mansfield looked - blowsy and loud and low.
- - - Julie Burchill (about Elvis Presley)

Bambi with testosterone.
- - - Owen Gleiberman (about Prince, 1990)

Armed with a wiggle and a Minnie Mouse squawk, she is coarse and charmless.
- - - Sheila Johnson (about Madonna, 1987)

I look at my friendship with her as like having a gall stone. You deal with it, there is pain, and then you pass it. That's all I have to say about Schmadonna.
- - - Sandra Bernhard (about Madonna)

Not in this lifetime. Why? Because I'm the only one she hasn't done it to.
- - - Sharon Stone (when told Madonna has said she wants to kiss her)

She is closer to organized prostitution than anything else.
- - - Morrissey (about Madonna, 1986)

She is so hairy, when she lifted up her arm, I thought it was Tina Turner in her armpit.
- - - Joan Rivers (about Madonna)