monday - september twenty-five, two thousand - 9:59am
i really love being 30. i feel like it's taken me this long to really get my shit together, and have it together for awhile. it feels good to drive around in a nice car, and have a husband who's responsible, and actually have a little bit of money to spend. i love it when people look at my license and say "you're joking" - i love to use it as leverage when i'm trying to make myself sound more respectable. i think being married does the same thing. somebody i work with said it well the other day - he said "being married made me feel like i was a better person - and people treat you with more respect." he meant especially for a man - which i can definately see - but, it does something for a woman too.
i think being a parent will be the next one. actually being another human being's guardian, superior, authority figure, MOM... won't it be weird to hear a little life call me mom, or mama (i like mama, for some reason). of course, ever since the wedding, that's been the next question out of everybody's mouths..."are you planning to have children soon?" so, then i have to go through my little rehearsed schpeal about our 3 year plan with the condo, and how we'd like to have a yard before the little tike can walk... blah, blah, blah. honestly, i don't really know when we'll decide to start popping them out. we want to take a trip to europe this year, i know that much. we both like having our own room to put all our stuff, and for privacy and such - i think, ideally i'd like to have at least a 4 bedroom home before we start having a family. one room for each of us to call or own - one for an office - and one for the baby... and that's if we decide to stop at one child... which at this point in our lives seems possible.
i never have really understood how a person, or a couple can say "i want to have 3 kids - two boys, and a girl." i mean, shouldn't you just plan to start with one, and see how it goes? what if you hate being a parent, or you really suck at it? don't go on with the predetermined plan to have the exact size family you decided when you were 14! plus - personally, i've never cared what sex the baby will be - they both have their ups and downs... babies are cute no matter what, especially if they're yours. at least in my family, paul's brother has already had a son, so he can carry on the family name - i know sometimes that's a big deal to people.
anyway - i know one thing is for sure... i'm way too selfish to try and start a family right now. i need to get all of my ducks in a row first... and luckily, paul is perfectly content with waiting. i saw on a movie the other day that 33 is the perfect age to start having kids... for various reasons, and i have to say, that sounds pretty good to me.
