A long long time ago
in a galaxy far away
Naboo was under an attack
Trowa is dressed up in a white gi and is carrying a lightsaber. He looks up in the sky, before yelling “GEEZ!!!!!! What are you doing to me _this_ time?”
An ethereal voice chimes, “Don’t ask me. I don’t know where this came from either. All I know is that you’re way out of character.” Trowa looks back down, muttering something about incompetent fic writers.

And I thought me and Qui-Gon Jinn
Could talk the Federation into
Maybe cutting them a little slack
But their response, it didn't thrill us
They locked the doors and tried to kill us
We escaped from that gas

Trowa and Quatre are locked in a room, fighting off battle droids, as Trowa huffs, “I swear- when I get out of here- I’m gonna _kill_ that author.” He defeats the last of the droids as Quatre blasts the door open. “You know, I’ve fought for outer space against unmanned machines once already, and you would _think_ that’d be enough, but noooooo, I have to end up in this *stupid* fic!”
Qatre looks over at the griping Trowa. “Whining is not a suitable asset for a Jedi, Trowi Wan.”
“Great,” Trowa mutters under his breath, “The fic author got him.”

Then met Jar Jar and Boss Nass
We took a bongo from the scene

Trowa and Quatre are now traveling through the water with Heero on stilts and with a mask on. “Why do _I_ have to play Jar Jar Binks?” he complained. “Trowa, I don’t know what you’re complaining about.” Then, he looked up to the sky, and yelled in the general direction of the Giant Malt Shop in the Sky where fic authors hang out, “Omae o Korosu!”
A faint “Eep” is heard from the Ethereal Voice.

And we went to Theed to see the queen
We all wound up on Tatooine
That's where we found this boy...

Chibified Wufei appears on the scene in what looks like a potato sack cut into clothes. Seems he was drafted as Anakin. “ONNA!!!!”

Oh my my, this here Anakin guy
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"

Wufei is still walking around Chibified. Scenes of him playing with a piece of scrap metal, pretending that it’s a lightsaber.

Did you know this junkyard slave
Isn't even old enough to shave
But he can use the Force they say
“Oh yeah?” Wufei interrupts. “Someone teach me to use it to get _out_ of this fic!” He receives a glare from Heero, still dressed as a tall, goofy alien with the world’s longest toungue.
“If you ever wanna get out of this fic,” the esteemed author states, “Then shut up and be a good Chibi.”

Ahh, do you see him hitting on the queen
Though he's just nine and she's fourteen
Yeah, he's probably gonna marry her someday

Now Duo appears, dressed up in a goofy dress and more make-up than Ronald McDonald. “Why me?” he sighs, as Chibi-Wufei tries to hit on him. Chibi-Wufei then tries to kiss him, but Duo holds him at arms-legnth. “Nope, buddy. Not ‘till we get out of this fic and I can stop feeling like a child molester.”

Well, I know he built C-3PO
And I've heard how fast his pod can go
And we were broke, it's true
So we made a wager or two
He was a prepubescent flyin' ace
And the minute Jabba started off that race
Well, I know who would win first place
Oh yes, it was our boy

Wufei drives his Gundam in a Mobile Suit race, beating out the rest of the contestants, including Trieze, whose underling Lady Une kept trying to sabotage Wufei’s Gundam.

We started singin'... My my, this here Anakin guy
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"

Wufei kisses him mommy goodbye and runs off with the rest of the gang to become a great Gundam pilot.

Now we finally got to Coruscant
The Jedi Council we knew would want
To see how good the boy could be
So we took him there and we told the tale
How his midi-chlorians were off the scale
And he might fulfill that prophecy

Wufei looks bored as he’s dragged in fromnt of all five scientists and Quatre explains how great a pilot he could make.

Oh, the Council was impressed, of course
Could he bring balance to the Force?
They interviewed the kid
Oh, training they forbid
Because Yoda sensed in him much fear

The five scientists shake their heads as one, and then point at Relena, dressed up as Yoda. “She said no!” they said. “Something about how Heero and Duo are both _hers_ and Wufei can’t be trained because it’ll be the end of the world because she’ll blow it up herself!”

And Qui-Gon said, "Now listen here
Just stick it in your pointy ear
I still will teach this boy"

Quatre gives the scientists a big raspberry, as Trowa and Wufei both raspberry Relena-as-Yoda (sort of...with a little imagination...)

He was singin'... My my, this here Anakin guy
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"

We caught a ride back to Naboo
'Cause Queen Amidala wanted to

Chibi Wufei, Heero-as-Jar jar, Trowa, and Quatre all ride back to Naboo, while Duo flounces around acting ditzy.

I frankly would've liked to stay
We all fought in that epic war
And it wasn't long at all before
Little Hotshot flew his plane and saved the day

Wufei flies around in Nataku, blowing up most of the enemy and saving the day, just like a good Chibified hero. The ethereal voice booms, “Good hero!! You can be big again, now. ^_^”

And in the end some Gungans died
Some ships blew up and some pilots fried
A lot of folks were croakin'
The battle droids were broken
And the Jedi I admire most
Met up with Darth Maul and now he's toast
Well, I'm still here and he's a ghost
I guess I'll train this boy

Trowa cries over Quatre’s dead body, then looks up with determination in his eyes, deciding he’s going to train Wufei.

And I was singin'... My my, this here Anakin guy
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
We were singin'... My my, this here Anakin guy
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"

Final cut of Wufei, practicing his katas in the sunset under Trowa’s supervision, with Duo looking on, blushing.

~Owari~