Someitmes I walk alone at night
When everybody else is sleeping
I think of him and then I'm happy
With the company I'm keeping
The city goes to bed
And I can live inside my head
-Eponine, Les Miserables

WnK: Hey, everyone! This is a weird depressing little ficcy. Toby wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it, and...well...here it is. ^^; But Setsuna took over at the end, so it is pretty happy in the end. :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Disclamer: Don't own it, though Wufei will be mine soon! Mwahahahahaha! Er...never mind. Forget I said anything. -_-; Um...I don't own Le Miz, either, though I sure wish I did.
Other disclamer: I still don't submit to the tyranny of a timeline.
Warning: 1x2 fans beware. Heck, 1xR fans beware (Er...Relena doesn't even make an appearance in this one. ^^;) Geez, 13x5 fans better look out too...well, don't read this if you're not open to accepting new and different couples- _my_ couples! Bwahahaha!!!
Other warning: It changes POV after every verse, so don't be too confused, ok? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~*On my own, pretending he's beside me
All alone, I walk with him 'till morning
Without him, I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way, I close my eyes,
And he has found me*~

I love Duo Maxwell. I'm not sure exactly when this strange event, of me falling for Duo, occured, but it definitely _happened_, in the same way a brick falling on your head happens.
So, you say, you'll live happily ever after with him, just like it's supposed to happen for the good guys.
Wrong.
For months, I dropped hints to Duo, trying to tell him that I cared for him as more than a friend without baring my soul completely. My advances went unnoticed or ignored, I'm not sure which.
Then, one day, the other shoe dropped. Literally. Onto my forehead. OK, it actually _flew_ onto my head, but you get the idea. Here's what happened.
I was going upstairs to tell Duo about a mission. Duo had said something about not disturbing him, but do you think I listened? Of course not! Duo always liked company. Or so I thought.
I opened the door, only to be hit, smack in the forehead, by a flying shoe, from the direction of the bed. I think you probably have a creative enough imagination to be able to figure out what was happening. Duo and his new lover, Chang. That bastard.
*Of course, he was never mine to lose.*
I shut the door on Duo and his exotic Chinese lover before they could notice me, and I felt what was left of my heart after a long bitter war dissolve into pieces.

~*In the rain the pavement shines like silver
All the lights are misty in the river
In the darkness the trees are full of starlight
And all I see is him and me
Forever and forever*~

Just another girl fan, that's all Duo sees me as. Just a silly school girl who helped him out a couple of times, with a silly school girl crush to match. If he even knew I cared for him, that is.
I pulled my cap over my eyes as they began to shine with tears. Boys often told me that I had beautiful eyes. They'd tell me that they'd shine with joy when I was happy, go hard and flat when I was mad...I appreciated that comments of course, but there was only one boy I wanted to hear them from, the one boy who never said anything.
I thought it was perhaps that I was too much of a tomboy. In retrospect, I shouldn't have changed myself for him, for that is not how love works. But at the time it seemed the most natrual thing in the world. I dropped my military habits like a hot rock, started wearing dresses, and hats to cover up my hair. Ugh, I had it so long, until I had to cut it when I joined up with Oz. When it was short it was so unmanageable, looking like I had put it through a weedwhacker or something...
But none of it did any good, did it, Duo? I could have done a striptease in the livingroom and you wouldn't have taken any interest in me.
Then you started coming to me for love advice, which was when I not only realized I didn't have a chance with you, but that you viewed me as a sister. It was Wufei you loved. And, much as I tried to, I couldn't hate you for loving him. Who was it who said, "To love another person is to see the face of God!"?
~*And I know it's only in my mind
That I'm talking to myself and not to him
And although I know that he is blind
Still I say there's a way for us*~

I still remember the first time I met you, Duo Maxwell. You saved my butt, that time, I think. Oh, wait. That was the _second_ time I met you. The first time, you were shooting at me, but I acknowledge that I probably deserved it.
But I didn't really "meet" you that time, did I? We saw each other...but it wasn't a meeting, because I didn't get to know you, what you were like.
So our first real meeting was, I suppose, the time you busted me out of the hospital. If it wasn't for you and Relena, I'd be dead know. Yes, you heard me right. I acknowleged the fact that I owe my existance to Duo Maxwell and Relena Peacecraft. 'Course I'm thinking I might rather be dead now...
At the time, I didn't quite understand Relena, nor my feelings for her. Now I believe that it was fascination...her obsession with me was fascinating, her utter devotion was fascinating...as was her complete and totally amazing tenacity. There was never love there...she is as much a stranger to me now as she was then.
But I suppose Relena doesn't matter anymore, since she got married. Some boy from her childhood, named Jun, I believe. Seems he'd loved her all along, it just took a good hit on the head to knock some sense into her. Not literally, this time. The knock, I suppose, was me telling her that I didn't love her, never had, and never would, for I loved Duo.
And it comes back to Duo again. I swear that boy is twisted around me like an octopus.

~*I love him, but when the night is over,
He is gone, the river's just a river
Without him, the world around me changes
The trees are bare and everywhere
The streets are full of strangers*~

The first time _I_ met Duo, you ask? He was sitting around, bitching about something or other to do with the colonies and politics. I don't think I really heard what he said at the time. The only thing on my mind was getting an opportunity to work with this beautiful young man, with the mysterious eyes.
I still recall his expression when I shoved the Oz application in his face. His sunglasses slid down his nose and his eyes crossed, due to the close proximity I was holding the application at. And little did I know that I was offering a job to one of the legendary Gundam pilots!
The next week or so was pretty much a blur for me. Daily routine went by, nothing exciting happening in the base where I worked. Then Duo popped up again, as he tends to do even now when I think my life has finally settled back to normal. And again I am haunted my those mysterious and sad purple eyes...
The next thing I knew, I was agreeing to help Duo. I had already fallen head over heels for him.

~*I love him, but when the night is over
He is gone, the river's just a river
Without him, the world around me changes
The trees are barren everywhere,
The streets are full of strangers*~

It was a stupid thing to do. Really stupid. I should not have needed help to get over Duo. A moment of weakness. But I found myself at the house of the one person who might understand what I was going though.
Oh, yes, I wasn't blind. I had seen the looks she shot at Duo. She had been an obstacle at one time, now she was the one person who might understand what I was going through.
I don't know how the hell it happened. Just...we met more and more, and suddenly, I forgot Duo.
Well, I didn't forget him, exactly, but he became much less important to me, and I stopped feeling like I was going to burn up from the pain if I didn't have Duo as mine, _right now_.
It had happened again.
How did this always happen to me? No matter how hard I tried to prevent it, I still managed to fall in love.

~*I love him, but every day I'm learning
All my life, I've only been pretending
Without me his world will go on turning
A world that's full of happiness
That I have never known!*~

So...now the two of us are a couple. I love him, he loves me, and everything's the way it's supposed to be, like in the movies.
And don't ask me how it happened, because I don't know either. In fact, he's the last person I would have expected to fall for. But cie la vie, I guess, live and learn. There are a thousand cliches I could fill in here, but I'm sure you get the picture.
All I can say is that I took and gave solace where it was needed, and now I'm a lot happier than I was.

I love him...I love him
I love him
But only on my own...*~

Wufei wrapped his arms tight around Duo. "You know, I'm really lucky to have you. There were two others after you. I'm still not sure how I won out over two people so amazing."
"You're pretty amazing yourself. And that's love, I guess. 'Who can explain it, who can tell you why?' But I think this arrangement is better, because they found each other."
Wufei just smiled and started to sing softly, "And I will take you in my arms/ And hold you right where you belong..."
"Aishiteru, Wufei."

~*Hurry near, another day is dying
Don't you hear, the winter wind is crying?
There's a darkness which comes without a warning
But I will sing you lullabyes and wake you in the morning.*~

~*Owari*~

*Author runs from very mad 1x2 fans* Ouch! That's hot! Watch where you're pointing that blowtorch! Blame the muses, not me! Eep! Anyway, C&C welcome.