Your horoscope:
Be very careful! The stars are aligned most strangely, and evil things are abroad. Satan is after your guts. You must fill your house with godly stuff in order to fend off the Evil One. Get a case of Madonnas, the cheaper the better, and menorahs and crucifixes and bibles and candles and incense, and glue/screw/nail them all over the damn place. You would be well advised to perform a very visible sacrifice. A lamb is ideal, but if you can't get one then lamb chops are OK in principle. Turn the numbers on your house door upside down to confuse Lucifer and his agents, and paint a big cross on it. Leave meat outside your neigbours' houses as a decoy. Read the bible very loudly, preferably Old Testament stuff or Revelations, and don't go to sleep for goodness' sake.