Sardars' Business There were 4 sardars in Mumbai. They decided to start a business. After considerable discussion they finally decided to start a hotel. They selected the best of locations and cooks and built the hotel. The hotel was inaugurated and was awaiting its first customer. The sardars waited and waited but nobody turned up. The story was the same the next day. A week passed, but nobody turned up. WHY ? .......... B'coz there was a sign at the entrance "Visitors not allowed" After the failure of their hotel they decided to start an auto garage. They bought the best of car servicing equipment's and soon started the garage. The 4 sardars waited that day for the first car to arrive but no car entered their garage. They waited for one day, 2 days, a week but no car came to their garage. WHY ? B'coz their garage was on the first floor. After this failure they decided to fall back on the good old taxi driving. They bought a new Premier Padmini running on CNG and began to look for passengers. They drew past Churchgate but nobody hailed their taxi. They went to Nariman point yet nobody hailed their taxi. They drove to Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus, even there nobody hailed their taxi. In desperation they kept on driving all around Mumbai but alas no one hailed their taxi. WHY ? B'coz all the four sardars were sitting in the taxi!! All the 4 sardars were very disgusted with their naseeb and decided to push their taxi into the sea at Marine Lines. They started pushing their taxi. They pushed the whole day and were very exhausted but the taxi did not move even an inch. They decided to rest for the night and start the next day. The next day the story repeated itself. The taxi just wouldn't move. They pushed for a whole week but the taxi wouldn't budge. WHY ? B'coz two sardarjis were pushing from front and two from behind.

Surd Freedom Fighters Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters. They were planning for free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a point, "Oh.. we'll get Punjab from India but how would we develop it?" That was a difficult question indeed. Suddenly Banta Singh replied, "No problem! we'll attack USA, it would take over us and then we would be a state of USA and we'll automatically get developed." All the surds became happy on this very simple solution but an old surd did not utter a single word. Someone asked him why he wasn't happy. The surd replied, "OH! THAT'S ALRIGHT BUT..WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BYCHANCE WE TAKE OVER USA ?????"

Elizabeth Taylor once boarded a plane. Everybody around greeted her. Since the plane was crowded she had difficulty in finding a seat. She saw our Sardar Balwinder Singh who was sitting next to a vacant seat.She went up to him and introduced herself saying in her cool sexy voice, "Hi, I am Elizabeth Taylor... Liz to you." Balwinder was bewildered but immediately responded, "Hi I am Balwinder .. Balls to you."

The Train Driver One train which was going peacefully on the rail-tracks suddenly deviated from the tracks and went to the fields nearby and then came back on the tracks. The passengers were horrified. On the next Railway station the driver was caught : He was found to be a Sardar. When he was questioned. He explained that there was a man standing on the track and he was not moving from there even after lots of honks etc . Then authorities questioned : Sardarji are you mad! just to save life of one person you put life of so many passengers under danger. You should have run over that person . Sardar said : Exactly, that is what I also decided, but this idiot started running towards the field when the train came very close.

The Graffiti Santa Singh was walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the wall. It read "Padne waala gadha." (one who reads this is an ass) Santa Singh sat on a nearby bench, and after much thought erased it and wrote "Likhne waala Ghadah". (One who wrote this is an ass)

Sardarji is traveling in the same train compartment with a girl. He pulls out a metal plate and starts playing it "Ding. Ding.Ding." The girl gets annoyed "You stop that." He stops and they travel for a while. Then when the night comes the girl takes off her clothes, looks at him and asks "Do you want to do IT?" He says "Yes". "Goahead." He pulls out his plate and starts playing "Ding. Ding. Ding."

There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street. Allthe sardars in the 'mayyat' are dancing the bhangra and singing and general 'balle balle' is on. The people on the street find it strange that instead of mourning everyone is celebrating as if its a marriagebaarat. So one of them asks Santa Singh, "Singh saab, aapka koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur aap naach raheho?" ..... comes the reply, "Ha ji ! Hai hi baat bade khushi ki !!! Aaj paheli baar ek sardar *brain*tumour se mara hai !!!!"

Sardarji goes to the movies and he happens to be going for everyshow of the same movie for a week, when someone stops him and asks, "Kyonsardarji, itni aachi lagi kya ki roz har show ke liye aar rahe ho?" Sardarji replies "Ek scene hai jahan ek ladki apne sare kapde utardeti hai lekin thabhi ek saali train saamne se nikal jati hai. Saalitrain kabhi na kabhi to late aayegi heh heh!"

Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?" The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that Iwasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I wouldhave been missing too."

mother of a sarder wrote...... Pyaarey puttar, I'm writing this letter slow, because I know you cannot read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their next house,so they couldn't have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine situated right above the commode. I'm not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since. The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket. Your father has another job. He has 500 people under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery. Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it's a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle. Your uncle, Jatinder fell in a the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We re-cremated him and he burned for three days. Your best friend,Balwinder is no more. He died trying to fulfill his father's last wishes. His father had wished to be buried in the sea after he died.your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his father. There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened. Love Mom.
P. S : I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.

Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job . He promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then the column SEX. He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote THRICE A WEEK. On seeing this in his appln. form, he was told that it was wrong and what they wanted it to be filled was either MALE or FEMALE. Again our sardar thought for a long time before coming up with the answer PREFERABLY FEMALES.

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