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Are you walking down the boulevard of broken dreams? Has your love life
shattered into a crumbling illusion? If so, don�t despair, it happens to
everyone at some point of time in life. Sometimes, relationships just don�t work
beyond a certain stage. Break-up is a painful process that happens, when two
people cannot stay together without hurting or unnerving each other. The worst
thing about a break up is that it shatters romantic illusions, and makes you
feel vulnerable. Suddenly from a couple you go back to being single, and if the
embers of love are still burning in your heart, you may not be able to stop from
shedding a few silent tears. Shalini, a twenty-eight year old executive with a
multinational cries, �I just couldn�t believe it when we decided to call it
quits. I had been engaged to this guy for a year and suddenly we were no longer
together. I had to stop myself from calling him every time. I felt depressed. I
had to get used to going out alone with friends. It took me a long while to
realize that this was over.� The best way to deal with a break-up is to accept
it. Break-ups are generally thrust upon us by unavoidable circumstances. It may
be karma, another woman, or just a wavelength problem. Somehow, every person who
goes through a break-up suffers from a terrible self-esteem problem. There is
always that nagging doubt, �If only� I had� done this/ that� we would still be
together.� Accept that feeling as normal and human, that�s what tells you that
you still live when the rest of you feels numb. And don�t take the whole blame
on yourself. It took two to tango, and it takes two to split up too. Instead
focus on what really went wrong in the relationship. Accept your failings as a
karmic lesson that teaches you not to commit the same mistakes in love, ever
again. When it happens, you feel like the only person in the world whose heart
has been broken. Here�s what you could do to pep-up your spirits when you walk
down this lonely road.
Even if all these things don�t really help you, then maybe you could go to a
therapist to just talk it out. Sometimes one needs a professional opinion on why
the relationship is actually dead. Alternatively, try and begin anew. Remove
things that remind you of him, avoid the places you visited for a couple of
days. Don�t listen to the same songs, or order his favourite dish. All these are
just going to bring back memories.
Remember, break-ups occur in life to avoid further misery together. If you
have just been through one, accept it as a lesson in love and learn to get on
with life. After all, someone, somewhere is made for everyone.
Binge :
Go eat an ice cream, buy yourself those shoes you were eyeing
in at a shop, have a crazy party with your pals, or just simply indulge in a
satisfying meal. Pamper yourself with material goodies if the emotional ones
aren�t around for a while.
Go out�a lot :
Yeah, yeah yeah, you want to sit at home, and drown
yourself in Ally Mc Beal�s non-existent love life. Stop it! It�s just going to
make you feel worse. Go out, with friends to any party or a peppy social do that
is happening. It�ll help you bounce back to normal, let the world know that you
are still fighting fit, and most importantly it�ll put you back in circulation,
with family, friends and who knows who else!
Discover yourself :
Remember all those things you�ve been trying to put
off because you never had any time. Now is the time to do everything you wanted
and more. Take that lesson in pottery now, sign up for a new skill or simply
pick up old friendships where you left them off. Sometimes we get so immersed in
our lovers, we forget that we have an identity apart from them. Use your
newfound single status to do something good for yourself.
Weep it out :
Yes, you are great at putting up a brave front to the
world, but bottling those feelings inside you isn�t going to help. Instead, try
and weep it out with a good friend. The empathy will help. Get all those bad
feelings off your chest. Somehow it will lighten the burden off you.
Pretend it doesn�t hurt :
Sometimes when you refuse to let a thing get
to you or when you just become another person, bolder, brighter, and a little
wiser, the pretence becomes a reality soon enough.