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NAFTO TO BEGIN
BOMBING ENGLAND UNLESS PEACE ACCORD IS RATIFIED BY ENGLAND AND
BREAK-AWAY PROVINCE OF N. IRELAND
The NAFTO-Secretary general
Kavijar Solena (salty caviar) announced today an all out bombing
offensive against England will begin in two weeks, unless a peace
accord is ratified by England and its break-away province of
Northern Ireland. "Using the fine logic we crafted in
the Kosovo intervention, we have decided to add, incrementally,
to the list of peace initiatives around the world," he
said in a prepared statement. A background briefing indicated
that on a weekly schedule, the Solena administration would
intervene in the following areas:
- Week one - Bombing of
England to free Northern Ireland.
- Week two - Bombing of
Ankara, Baghdad and Teheran to free the Curds.
- Week three - Bombing of
several random African countries to stop the Hutus from
killing Tutsis.
- Week four - Bombing of both
Istanbul and Athens to solve the Cyprus problem.
- Week five - Bombing of
Madrid to free the Basque Country.
- Week six - Bombing of
Ottawa to free the Quebecois.
- Week seven - Bombing of
Jakarta to free the Timor Islands.
- Week eight - Bombing of New
Delhi to free the Tamil peoples of Sri Lanka.
- Week nine - Bombing of
Paris to free Corsica.
- Week ten - Bombing of Rome
to free Padania.
- Week eleven - Bombing Jaffo
and Tel Aviv to please the Israelis to let the peaceful
Palestinians make a state of their own.
- Week twelve - Bombing of
Washington, D.C. to free the Confederate of Southern
States, held captive for 139 years.
- Week thirteen - not
bombing, but celebrating (for those who left) the big
prevision abilities of Nostradamus.
"This schedule will do
until we can come up with others," said Medellin
Allright, NAFTO's Supreme commander (says every time "all
right" and agrees with every proposal). He did not respond
when asked when the bombing of Beijing in order to free Tibet
would occur.
