Our motto is:
"We don't let you jump to conclusions!"
We have a large supply of the new design parachutes. Most used only once. Never opened. Still in their sacks...
The funniest replies that I have received are here. (So don't just sit there; write something!)
Our company shall not be held responsible in case of injury.
Love it !! Are these the new irish parachutes that open on impact ?? Andy. ;-)And I replied:
Don't know! These were all used once; never opened! I guess they don't open on impact (but you might be interested in our airbags that inflate in seconds after you pull the string!)... Our engineers are trying to find ways to make them open before hitting the ground, and after leaving the airplane... (THINKS: Hmm, how about a large airbag that opens after you pull the string... It sure would cushion the "bang" -or; the "splat"? Got to go to the lab to test this. Busy busy...) AHMETONAT
Ahmet, Senin 6 bacakli robotlarindan birkac tanesini kucagima alip parasutlerini test etmek istiyorum. Su anda bir seri bungee jumping halati test ettim ve projeyi basari ile bitirdim, hastanede tatil yapiyorum. Selamlar...Which roughly translates as:
Ahmet, I want to test your parachutes with a couple of those walking robots in my hands. Just now, I have successfully finished testing some bungee cords, and am enjoying a holiday in hospital.
In order to obtain my degree, I have had to be a beta-tester on new books, new laboratories, new study programs, new homework, new teachers, new methodologies, but in my application to curse electrical engineering studies didn't tell me anything about that! Do I really have to do this?
I have been pushed out of three airplanes, under the pretense of jumping. I would like to try a parachute for the next jump. Thanks.
Dear Ahmet, I am a farmer in the scottish highlands. I have a lot of cows the EU will not let me to sell to the rest of the world. Since these dreaded japanese bought every single distillery in scotland they are trying to raise the whiskey prices by giving whiskey to my cows!! They think this will reduce supply and hence increase prices. So on top of being BSE affected they all have bad livers. I was therefore wondering if it possible to get my cows drunk and get them on the plane to brussels. They will be most than happy to jump. Can we also make sure they land on the commisioners heads? Sincerely Donal Cowan FCO.
I applying for the beta tester job. I am a well experienced computer expert and am completely literate in over 4 different programming languages.
Sir, I am applying for the Beta Testing position for my soon to be ex-wife who will need a good job in the very near future as the child support payments will end this year. she is a very qualified person, she can yell scream and throw things at a seconds notice. she has never exited an aircraft they were not glad to see her go, she has the intellect of a rock and doesn't follow orders at all. She is perfect for the position and come HIGHLY recommended by me, her former husband. By the way, she doesn't do windows, dusting or laundry. Skip Pickens Golden Valley, Arizona
Hello,
I am intrested in beta testing you parachute design.
I am currently 17 years old and living in New York. I have
been on computers ever since I was 12 years old. At the
age of 12 I tought myself C programming and have been writing
programs ever since then. I have a very good background
in most operating systems including: DOS, Win 3.1, Win 95,
Win NT, and Win 98 which I am currently beata testing.
Sincerely,
Michael Slaunwhite
You should discontinue your beta testing of parachutes; you only have a marketing problem. Hire a good marketing manager to sell your parachutes to politicians and lawyers. Geoff Sanders Portland, Oregon, USA
Hmm, still short of beta testers; may all the above who applied
R.I.P...
Improving the design, but still some wrinkles still have to be
ironed out...
Any more volunteers?!!