Quotes
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Ms. Loconte: I won a contest to get a make-over! There were so many people there, and I got chosen. That means I'm special.
Me: Or ugly, either or.
Ms. Loconte: Hey, if I want you to talk, I'll rattle your cage!
Mike: Hey, did you know that 9 out of 10 guys masterbate, and the other 1 lies about not masterbating?
Me: I really didn't need to know that.
Mike: Well did you know that 8 out of 10 girls masterbate? Hmmm, looking around the caf, there's a lot of girls in here, and a lot of them must be REALLY busy.
Me: *Laughing* Mike, that's nasty, I'm trying to eat here.
Cassy: Jenna, you asked me what kind of person you are, and I told you that you're kind of picky, but it's not a bad thing.
Jenna: But I don't think I am picky.
Donna: Well we know what Jenna is, so what am I?
Me: Donna, you're like a chihuahua, when I see you, I want a taco.
Mr. Marano: In this course, you'll learn to share your writing, so that people can know what's on your mind.
Me: *Writing Down on my "keeping notes page"* People can read my mind
Lisa M: People can read your mind? Where the hell did you get that from? He never said that.
Me: He said that people will know what's on our mind.
Lisa M: *Laughing* You're such a blonde.
Arthur: Kiss my ass.
Me: Which one?
Arthur: The one you have two of.
Me: That makes no so sense.
Arthur: "That makes no so sense?" Way to spoke England dumb-dumb.
Me: Shut Up.
Andzelika: I don't remember if you went to our school last year right?
Cristina M: I smell strawberries
Jenna: S-T-R-A-W
Cristina M: Smell, not spell!
Me: I do know that I have to go in 3 min, so that's a heads up for u
Robyn: oh okay. well that's good.
Me: yeah, it's not bad I guess
Robyn: I mean good because you're a distraction.
Andzelika: I look like a pumpkin
Lisa M: A Pumpkin? Huh?
Andzelika: Oh, I meant a tomato
Lisa M: It's ok pumpkin
(Everyone at the table is doing their Homework, except for Aggie who is doing a word search)
Teacher: You guys are such studius students, doing your homework during your lunch.
Diana: You guys know that in other words, she's saying we're all nerds
Leigh: It's not that we're nerds, it's just that we're sensible with our time
Me: Exactly. Like come on, if I don't do this word search now, when will I ever find these words?
Sheila: Do you have an elastic?
Andzelkia: No, sorry
Sheila: You guys are useless
Andzelika: Join the club.
Jen: Come on Agatha, Just give me some chocolate and I'll pay you tomorrow
Me: Sorry Jen, I can't do that
Jen: Come on, I'll give you collateral
Me: Hey! Don't use big words to get my chocolate
Jen: It means I'll give you something of mine, that you'll keep until I pay you back
Me: I knew that...
Robyn: the b52s, those people were funky cloths
Robyn: wear
Me: They were funky cloths! I wish I was a sock
(Andzelika is drunk and just finished puking)
Lisa M: Come here sweetie, I'll fix your hair for you.
Andzelika: Lisa, make me look pretty
Principal: Okay, she said that you threatened to rip her hair out.
Anthony: No I didn't say that... I said I was going to rip her fucking head off.
Guy: What would u like on your sub?
Andzelika: Can I have some salad
Me: Um... it's called lettuce
Guy: What would you like?
Lisa M: Bread
Me: He wants to know what KIND of bread
(Watching Jurassic park, and a man is getting attacked by a dinosaur)
Sandra: Oh my god guys, that's my worst fear!!!!
Lisa M: what? A dinosaur?
Sandra: No, the dark.
Krystian: Ewa stop playing stupid games on the comp.... Oh MY God it's Tetris!!!!!
(Andzelika is talking about all the stupid things her bird does)
Scott: oh cool, what kind of bird do you have?
Andzelika: A bird.
(I'm reading the back of a cough drops package)
Me: "Relieves symptoms associated with the early stages of a cough or cold"
Cassy: What are the late stages? Death?
Me: No, hospitalization
Cassy: I can see it now. "I'm sorry Mrs. Grodecki, there's nothing we can do for her." Mrs. Grodecki "Wait doctor! Give her first premi�re D�fense."
Me: Uh, first and premi�re are the same thing hun. One's just in french
Cassy: Me so I.Q
Jen: Santa's gay
Me: Nooooooo!
Jen: yup, true story
Me: I can't believe it
Jen: yup
Me: But it was all there, the suit, the brown/red nose raindeer
Jen: why do you think all his elves are boys
Me: MICHAEL JACKSON IS SANTA!!!!
Jen: I knew I didnt ask for that cd. Thats why he sold so many records, he gave them out
Me: I gotta go pee. But I don't wanna get up. Do you think people would mind if I wet myself?
Lisa M: I'd mind!
Robyn: I hope we get a lot of snow, because if we get a lot of snow, my tutor might be like, it's too dangerous to come...that would be GREAT! and then i'd be like, you're right. very dangerous... It's just too bad you can't come... but safety comes first!! and then she'd be like, Robyn, you didn't finish your homework, did you? and then I'd say... saftey comes first... indeed.... and then she'd be like ROBYNNNNN
Me: Can you tell Donna to let me know what time she wants me to meet her at?
Andzelika: I don't have Donna.
Brandon: So now you're talking to inanimate objects?
Me: No, they're talking to me.
Me: What's Tuesday? The 11th?
Amanda Lima: I dunno, I don't have my calculator
(Andzelika, Jen, Mike and Kevin are playing cards.... Andzelika just finishes dealing and looks at her cards.)
Andzelika: OMG I have such crappy cards, who the hell dealt them?? They gave me crappy cards! Oh wait... I dealt them.
Sandra: you guys this guy invited me to a club i frogot what it's called it starts with a P or an S....
Andzelika: plastique????
Sandra: no i'm pretty sure it's an S not P
(everyone sits there pondering)
Sandra: OMG guys i know it's Berlin!!!!!
Donna: Let's switch names. You be Agatha, and I'll be Donna.
Donna: Don't you hate it when guys talk about cars? I never know what they're talking about.
Me: I know, the only thing I know about cars is that they have 2 wheels and a steering wheel.
Daniel: Did you know that some of the Argonauts are gonna be here today?
Shannon: Yeah, I saw one of them drive up in a jeepy thing
Robyn: feelin a little bit better at leaest maybe? perhaps? sorta? chicken? *scratch off that last one*
Me: yeah, I like the last one BTW
Robyn: good thing, because i didn't scratch it off yet. i'm lazy. it can stay. :)
(Kyle insists on playing cards while Cassy keeps calling him "Jamaraqui")
Kyle: Come on, let's play asshole
Cassy: Fine, Come Jamaraqui, let's play your asshole
Kyle: ok *Starts Shuffling cards*
Cassy: No, literally, turn around and bend over so we can play your asshole!
Shannon: Do you have a plethora of money?
Me: I wish
Shannon: I have a plethora of bum.
Me: Hey, I forgot I put on my orange soccer socks.
Cassie: Your socks are yellow.
Mr. Marano: Instead of playing cards, you should be working on your assignment, it's due on Monday. What language do I have to say it in for you to understand?
Cristina P: Italian
Me: Polish
Cassy: Punjabi!
Ewa: hey Andz, do you have a mechanical calculator?
Andz: huh?
Ewa: You know, the hand held ones.
Andz: You mean a normal one?
Ewa: yeah
Cassie: I don't like anything that comes from a cow. I only like chicken. That's why I want pizza.
Cassie's Mom: And what does pizza have on it?
Cassie: It has cheese, which comes from chickens.
Andz: We're going for a walk along the creek.
Andz's Mom: Did you ask dad for the car?
Dixie: Marc, let's go to your house and get the camera.
Marc: No
Dixie: Did you just say no to me?
Marc: No
(Laura comes out of the washroom after washing her hands, but without drying them)
Laura: *Whiping her hands on Carolina's face* Don't you hate it when you piss on your hands?
Carolina: Actually I love pissing on my hands
Laura: ewwww
(Kyle points to Marc, Dixie and then Aggie)
Kyle: Crazy, crazy, crazy.
Marc: It's a party, and everybody's invited
Kyle: Who the hell would wanna sleep with a blueberry?
My Mom: Look, it's Freddy the sponge
Me: His name is Sponge Bob Square Pants
My Mom: I couldn't remember his name, so I gave him a new one
Kyle: Windows can't be too tinted, because you have to be able to see into the other car.
Me: But limo's have really tinted windows so you can't see inside.
Kyle: But the drivers area is less tinted so you can see inside.
Me: But what if like, Bin Ladin was in the trunk or something? You wouldn't be able to see him.
Kyle: You can't see into trunks anyway.
Me: Shut up.
(Kyle's waving his hands around while driving)
Me: Why the hell are you waving your hands around? Keep them on the wheel.
Kyle: I talk with my hands, I'm a Italian!
Me: No you're not...
Kyle: Hey! Shut-up a your face!
(Ana coughs)
Ana: I'm allergic to dumb people
Me: Bless you
Me: He lies all the time
(Scuba/Stupid) Steve: What do you mean?
Jamie: Bye Twinnie
Me: Bye Twinnie
Kyle: Bye Twinkie
Me: Hey, my mood ring is blue, I wonder what that means.
Arthur: It means you're stupid
Alise: Why is it taking the food so long to get here?
Jen: Yeah, why is it taking so long?
Alise: Like really? Did they go to Africa to kill me a buffalo or something?
Me: So yeah, I go into the guys house and he's like "I'm calling the police." so I kicked him in the face and he ran off screaming.
Kyle: Wow, you're becoming quite the video game junkie.
Silvee: Video game?
Kyle: What would a gino call his civic?
Arthur: Shit Mobile.
Ms. Mesich: Jonathan? Jonathan? Where's Jonathan?
Steph: What, do we look like Jonathan's keeper or something?
Renee: You know, Agatha's name is pronounced Agata in Polish.
Jen: That means cat in Portuguese. That means Agatha's a cat.
Me: So what you're saying is that I pee in a box and then burry it?
Katherine: That's how you know.
Me: That's how you know what? Finish your sentences.
Katherine: You're dumb.
Me: There you go...
(Aggie tries to buckle her seatbelt and accidentally hits Jonny in the hand)
Jonny: Ah! You can't buckle my knuckles!
Me: Ooooo, I call trunk, I'll just lay there for the trip home.
Jonny: Yeah, and if a cop pulls us over and is like "Is that a dead body in the trunk?" we'll be like "No, she's alive, is that still a crime?"
Arthur: I have to go to fuckin work for a fuckin meeting to hear about the fuckin rules and about the fuckin customers who fuckin piss me off so fuckin much.
Matt: Why don't they just put a sign up that say "Fuckin meeting this way. On the agenda, SHIT."
Dad: Actually, play boy used to have some really worth reading articles in it.
Arthur: Yeah, I'm sure "Hi, my name is Candy, and I like Watermelons."
Andzelika: OMG. I am so stupid
Ewa: No comment.
Andzelika: None taken
Lisa M: Mike, Fuck you!!!
Mike: Fuck you harder.
(Katherine is looking at a Polish Calender)
Katherine: Is this in that language that you are?
Kyle: I'm on fire!
Me: Yeah, people tend to set shit on fire.
Kyle: Objects in mirror may appear stupider than they appear
Me: What? That doesn't even make any sense.
Silvee and Kyle: Ok, let's go
Me: I can't, I have to watch Lisa's bag and pop so no one drinks her bag or takes her pop.
(Silvee's talking on her cell phone)
Silvee: We'll be right here *points to ground*
Me: Silvee.... They can't see you pointing...
Me: No way, you've been playing video games all morning, it's my turn, butt munch
My Mom: What Are You?
Arthur: A butt munch
Arthur: I remember when I was a stupid little kid
Me: What do you mean "was"?
Arthur: I'm not a kid anymore
Me: Now all you need to do is talk to "icky" and you're set
Silvee: Who's Inky?
Ricky: Yeah man, I'm gonna get some tonight
Me: Yeah, you and a vibrater
Ricky: What the hell do you mean "vibrater"?
Arthur: He'll use his cell phone, he'll be calling himself all night
Arthur: I'm not stupid
Me: Then why are you wearing your pants inside out?
Arthur: Shut up
(Christie is reading what it says on the side of a pop can)
Christie: Open your eyes. Or at least the can
Me: You're eyes are already open if you're reading what it says on the can
Christie: Oh yeah
Me: Ok, I'm gonna put Lavine's purse in my bag, but when she comes and asks where it is, tell her one of her friends came by and took it, ok?
Christie: ok
Lavine: Where's my bag?
*Christie points to Aggie's Bag*
Christie: Everyone has eyes.
Arthur: I know how to spell Ryerson, R....Y....E....7....and the smilie face is silent.
Ms. Cernjul: Did you just see the look you gave me?
Me: Yeah...cuz I can see my own face
Ms. Cernjul: Just be quiet
Arthur: Kyle, you're Newfoundland?
Me: No, he's clearly China. Hey, I wanna be Quebec. I WANT SEPARATION!
Arthur: I meant to put 'from' somewhere in there...
William: I love you Aggie, but in a none sexual way
Me: Oh thank God, I was just about to tell you I'm not into women
Lisa D: My cats breath tastes like cat food.
Me: Your cats breath tastes like cat food? What do you do, lick your cats mouth?
Lisa D: Welp...See ya later
Me: Shut up
Arthur: Make Me
Me: I don't make shit, I eat...wait!
William: Actually I was talking to me and Agatha
Me: Are you saying you talk to yourself?