You know, you’d think it’d be fun to have your own set of tits to play with, and then you get them and they’re just. . .distracting.
But then again, I guess I couldn’t really pass judgment. I hadn’t actually had time to try them out yet.
I think Rachel suspected what I had on my mind. She was watching me pretty closely.
We were walking home together. We live in pretty much the same neighborhood. Jake does, too, but he decided to stay and “hang around” with Cassie.
Yeah. Right.
Ax and Tobias had gone back to Ax’s scoop. I guess they were missing The OC, or so Ax accidentally gave away. Tobias tried to deny it, but I bought that about as much as I did Jake’s story.
Rachel had originally been planning on flying home. I watched her getting more and more frustrated trying to morph for a while before finally saying, “Hey, Rachel? I don’t have a bald eagle morph.”
I guess ospreys are beneath her, because after that she decided to walk home. I went with her to. . .ok, I have no idea. I knew it was going to be awkward. I mean, there was that whole, you know, dying-for-her thing a couple hours ago. That was bound to make things weird.
Or silent. Cause that’s how it was. Silent.
But you know me. I’m the classic breaker-of-awkward-silences.
“So,” I said. “How ‘bout those Helmets?”
Rachel looked at me like I was insane. “What do you call your step-mother?”
That one threw me. “Uh, what?”
She rolled her eyes. “Your step-mother? The woman that married your dad? Our math teacher? What do you call her?”
“Oh. Uh, Nora.”
“You know, it’s a lot harder than I thought it would be to just listen to you talk like this. I can’t believe such stupid things are coming out of MY mouth.”
“Very funny.” Wow, was that really the best comeback I had? “Uh, what are your sister’s names?”
Yeah, Marco, way to sweep her off her feet with your wit.
Rachel smirked. “Sara and Jordan.”
“Ok.” I nodded.
More silence.
“What’s the poodle’s name?”
“Euclid.”
“God, where did she think up THAT?”
I shrugged. More silence.
“Marco?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t ever treat me different because I’m a girl again.”
I stared at Rachel. “What?”
“Look, chivalry’s dead, ok? Next time I’m about to get shot, either take the guy down or let it happen. No more sacrificing yourself because you’re a guy, and I’m a girl.” She sighed. “Or I was, anyway.”
I kept staring. Did she really think. . . “Rachel,” I said. “That’s not. . .I mean, I didn’t. . .” God, was I really saying this? “I didn’t do it because you’re a girl.”
Pause, and then. . .
Rachel grabbed my arm. Hard. “No,” she hissed. “You’re wrong. You did it because you were on some heroic chivalrous high or something, and that’s all. That’s all it’s ever going to be. Got it?”
I got it. I pulled my arm away from her iron grip. We were at her house. “This is my stop.” I said.
Rachel nodded. I turned to walk away.
“Marco?” she said sweetly before I could start up her driveway.
“What?”
“You touch ANYTHING, and I’ll kill you.”
Ha. Like she’d ever know. “Sure, Rachel.” I said, and smiled big.
* * *
Rachel’s room was spotless. I mean, seriously. I peeked in a closet. Everything hung up neatly. Nothing under the bed. Drawers perfectly organized.
It was killing me. I sat on the end of her bed, forcing myself not to mess anything up. I was starting to develop a twitch in my left eye.
Of course, that might not have entirely been because of Rachel’s slowly-closing-in-on-me neatness. I was thinking about. . .well, there’s getting shot down, and then there’s what had just happened to me.
I mean, OUCH. You assume if you take a bullet for someone, there’s at least going to be a “thank you”.
But then, this is Rachel I’m talking about. Normal rules don’t really apply to her.
“Rachel!” Rachel’s mom called upstairs. “If you want dinner, you better get your ass down here and eat it now!”
Have I ever mentioned Rachel and her mom are a lot alike?
Alright, I told myself as I headed downstairs. This is the big test. I’d dodged past Rachel’s family on my way inside, but now it was the family dinner. I was going to have to smile. Make conversation. Be Rachel.
Actually, maybe I wasn’t going to have to smile all that much.
I sat down at the kitchen table. There was a steaming bag of Chinese take out sitting in the middle of it. Rachel’s oldest sister, stared at me. “That’s MY seat.” She said.
“Oh, uh, right, uh. . .sis.” Damn. Which one was Sara, and which was Jordan? Rachel’s sister stared at me in even more confusion. Oops. Guess Rachel wasn’t quite that nice to her sisters.
“Rachel, Jordan, be nice,” Rachel’s mom said distractedly, not even looking up from the folder she was going over. Ok. Jordan big, Sara little.
Jordan was about two years younger than Rachel and me, maybe twelve or thirteen. She didn’t look much like Rachel, her hair was darker, she was shorter, her face was a tad more easy-going. Sara was around nine, and looked exactly like Rachel, miniaturized. She kind of scared me, actually. I hoped Rachel didn’t baby-sit much.
Sara and Jordan talked through most of the meal with Rachel’s mom adding in a “uh-huh” every now and then. I ate my food and tried to be inconspicuous.
I thought I was going to get away from the table without having to contribute anything to the conversation, and had in fact gotten up to throw away my paper plate when Jordan said, “Hey, Rachel, you got a phone call earlier.”
It took me a minute to realize she was talking to me. “Yeah? From who?”
“Jake’s friend. That Marco guy. The cute one.”
Ah hah!! At least someone in that family didn’t think I was worthy of being crushed underfoot by an elephant stampede. “Ok, thanks.” I told a bewildered Jordan. I guess Rachel really wasn’t big on the please and thank you’s.
I grabbed a cordless phone and took it up to Rachel’s room. Then I sat on her bed and stared at it for a while. Did I really want to call Rachel back?
Nah. What I really wanted to do was strip naked and dance around in front of Rachel’s full-length mirror.
After all, Rachel only said I couldn’t touch anything. She didn’t say anything at all about looking.
