Neil, is it really necessary to nail the plates to the table? What happens when we want to play Monopoly? Go directly to plate? Do not pass plate nailed to the table by a stupid hippie?

Neil, let's not beat around the bush - are you going to make supper, or am I going to kick your teeth in?

What we need is a large consignment of very hard drugs

I was in the basement, playing my favorite game, 'Murder In The Dark.'

This calls for a delicate blend of psychology and extreme violence

You have to write in 10 words what Cornflakes mean to you. So I wrote: Cornflakes. Cornflakes. Cornflakes, Cornflakes, Cornflakes. Cornflakes, Cornflakes, Cornflakes, Cornflakes.

Vyvyan. Vyvyan. I swear every time something blows up in this house it's always bloody Vyvyan!

The person who drinks it will become an axe-wielding homicidal maniac, it's a cure really... for not being an axe-wielding homicidal maniac

Some of the bricks in this house explode, brilliant.

[all the guys in the house are sick - Vyvyan picks up a small mirror and stares into it] Feel better you bastard!

No! No! NO! We're not watching the bloody Good Life! Bloody bloody bloody! I hate it! It's so bloody nice! Felicity "Treacle" Kendall and Richard "Sugar-Flavored-Snot" Briars! What do they do now? Chocolate bloody Button ads, that's what! They're just a couple of reactionary stereotypes, confirming the myth that everyone in Britain is a lovable, middle-class eccentric - and I - HATE - THEM!
[collapses on the couch, exhuasted]

In fact, just as John Hurt is known as the Elephant Man, Bacon Sandwich here is known as the Pig Ferret.