Murphy's Laws for EF2000 Pilots 
I'm not sure who the original author is, so if you know, e-mail me at:
	adamrules@geocities.com


1	Force of Gravity is a constant, especially when you are bingo fuel.

2	When you hear your wingman say "I'll Engage, you cover", its time to engage the target AND cover your wingman.

3	If your run to the target is going well, you are flying into an ambush.

4	Nothing is as easy as it looks.

5	The number of planes you are leading is inversely proportional to the number of bogeys you will meet.

6	Beyond Visual Range does not mean Beyond Missile Range.

7	Make sure that you land as many times as you take off. (1st Warlock Law)

8	If WARGEN plans a route totally out of the way of all known life forms, then you are guarenteed that the entire Russain air force is using the same airspace for live fire training. (2nd Rhino Law)

9	Stealth Fighter means never knowing where your wingmen are or what they're doing. (4th Rhino Law)

10	Your wingman will always use all of his missiles in the first encounter. (1st McGee Law)

11	Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.

12	No OPLAN ever survives initial contact.

13	Teamwork is essential: it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.

14	If the enemy is within range, so are you.

15	Every command which can be misunderstood, will be.

16	The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to carry out.

17	There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.

18	In a contest between the ground and a fighter, the ground always wins. (1st Hansen Law)

19	If its stupid and it works, it ain't stupid. (1st Storm Law)

20	The most accurate incoming cannon fire is always your wingman. (1st Ironside Law)

21	Friendly fire, isn't.

22	The number of targets on your radar will always be equal to the number of missles you have left, plus one.(2nd Butterfield Law)

23	Remember, your missles were made by the LOWEST bidder.

24	The Enemy Fighter's AI is not artificial,but yours is. (1st Scooter Law)

25	To be awake is to be alive, so do not go to sleep under high G's. (1st Staley Law)

26	Never put your life in danger for your wingman, because if your wing man goes down you still have a chance but if you go down it's GAME OVER. (1st Halpern Law)

27	The best firing positions only arrive when you are out of ammo. (1st Gonzales Law)

28	As an ef2000 pilot your mission is to analyse the situation and through foresight and advanced planning advoid or circumvent problems before they arise, should the unexpected occur then your aim is to swiftly and efficiently arrive at a workable solution..... However, when you're up to your ass in alligators, its difficult to remember that your initial objective was to drain the swamp (2nd Ironside Law)

29	If a landing hurts it's a crash. (1st Barnaba Law)

30	If your smart, you'll shoot your wingman first, and save yourself all the frustration. (1st Viper Law)

31	Use brakes and the afterburner carefully. For a hard G-Turn you must firstbrake and then use the afterburner. If you are interested in the formula of G`s here is it: G= 1/(cos flightdegrees) max. 89.999999 but this is a very high G-Turn (1000000G`s or so) normally 60° is 2G`s. (1st Lettmayer Law)

32	A target rich environment is brilliant....if you survive. (1st Short Law)

31	The amount of interest the enemy aircraft take in your flight is directly proportional to how much effort you put into being stealthy. (1st Crash Law)

32	When in trouble and you call a MAYDAY, your escort will not respond. But if another flight 300 mles away calls MAYDAY, they will immediately respond and leave your flight unprotected. (2nd Crash Law)

33	The odds of EF2000 crashing out with a critical error are directly proportional to how close you are to the end of a successful mission. (1st Mouneimne Law)

33	The first time you feel relaxed in the cockpit, is the same time you realize that you've just pissed your pants during a bombing run without air cover - Wingmen died getting you there. (1st Slothman Law)