Horse Owner's Ten Commandments
1.
THOU shalt put Thy horse's needs before Thine own.
2. THOU shalt not criticize Thine Farrier whilst she/he works, lest
Ye be able to duck flying horseshoes.
3. THOU shalt not covet Thy neighbour's brand new shiny four horse trailer
with deluxe dressing room/kitchenette, awnings, pin-striping and matching
extended cab, dual tank, pickup.
4. THOU shalt not take Thine horse's name in vain when making monthly
payments on vet bills.
5. THOU shalt vow to fit into and wear last year's spandex, despite
the extra pounds and all the latest hot new styles and colors.
6. THOU shalt place all of Thine child's orthodontia before all new
saddles.
7. THOU shalt not call Thy horse "Dogfood!" (Or Gloo?) when
he disobeyeth Thy commands.
8. THOU shalt not resist the daily conditioning ride, lest Ye be cast
down from the Top Ten in the next ACTRA ride.
9. THOU shalt feedeth Thine steed the finest alfalfa mix, 12% sweet
extruded feed, costly supplements & Thou shalt rejoyceth over the
peanut butter & jelly over the next year.
10. THOU shalt vow to grain, hay, water, blanket, groom, trim, braid,
wrap, trailer, medicate, bring in, turn out, catch up, muck out, bed
down, foal out and ride despite what ever the Heavens shall rain down
upon Thee at any time of the day or night and despite lack of sleep,
food, personal life, or caffeine.
