I consider myself a Seeker first and foremost. Out of all the roles I've played in this life, Seeker is the one I most identify with.
At one point I fancied myself more of a Teacher than a Seeker. I would expound at length on my very important opinions on world affairs and etc. But eventually I realized that if people could learn anything from me, it mostly from my many mistakes and foibles. For I am one fukked-up dude in many ways.
Often I feel like a Failed Seeker; a Spiritual Cripple. And I've had a long line of Spiritual Cripples for heroes: Charles Schulz, John Lennon, Alan Watts, R. Crumb, Charles Bukowski....
Over the years I've come to have an increasing distaste for John Lennon, the self-appointed Leader of my youth. It wasn't so much that he was fukked-up (I could relate to that, we're only human after all) but that he continually presented himself as The Man With The Answer. Only to present himself the next year as The Bitterly Disillusioned Failed Seeker. Only to present himelf the year after as The New Improved Man With The Answer. Only to, etc. etc. What was up with that fukking dude? He could never resist being the Great Teacher, even when he really didn't know what the fukk he was talking about. Each new "truth" expoused by Lennon the Great Visionary, would only end up being debunked as a "myth" next month by Lennon the Great Cynic. To be replaced next month by a "new-improved truth." And etc.
Of course, I have nobody to blame but myself. Because I myself picked Lennon and the Beatles as my leader in the first place because of my own personal deficiencies. I mean, I found his message of "Take drugs; freak out;become a media superstar; fukk tons of teenage groupies" especially appealing. Whereas if some other charasmatic Leader was espousing: "Eat your vegetables: floss after every meal, etc" I doubt I would have felt that message, or that messenger, to be particularly compelling. "Let the buyer beware."
And yet theres an aspect of how Lennon, and The Beatles, were peddled to me as a naive young kid, that makes me sympathetic to myself as the dupe who was swindled by this spiritual fake John Lennon. From "The Beatles Cartoon Show" at age 7, to the psychedelic kiddie movie "Yellow Submarine" the Beatles were launched at me as inevitable Role Models of What a Man Should Aspire to Be. They were presented, and mass-marketed as the Epitome of Cool -- those witty, clever, dashing, talented, and lovable Fabs. Who wouldn't want to be one of them (or like them). They were having so much "fun." Allegedly. And there he stood, behind the camera, John Lennon, endlessly striking his Cool Pose, and making a fortune in the process. Presenting "the myth." And it was only years later after I'd thoroughly bitten into the Apple (no pun intended) and digested it to the core, did I realize how rotten and false the reality was behind the image. I think this explains the endless fascination that Lennon has for so many, and the library of books clogging up every bookstore, professing to reveal to us the Real Lennon behind the myth. And its with almost glee that I read about how fukked up and miserable and drug-addled he ended up in his later years. Fukk him. but its like Hunter Thompson said about Timothyt Leary: "Its little consolation that he fukked up himself so badly, because he took so many others down with him."
And then theres cute Paulie, inviting one and all to "come take the trip." Why, "roll up for the Magical Mystery Tour, kiddies!" Wink wink. And everything is mentioned EXCEPT the LSD, even though that was exactly what the whole exercize was about between the lines and everybody knew it. So, of course, it wasn't like cute Paulie was coming into your kiddies bedroom (via the media) and extolling the magical virtues of tripping your brains out on LSD, tripping out on drugs. Heaven forbid no, wink wink.
Nowadays, as the Baby Boomer Generation takes their rightful place at the head of the media food-chain, you hear endless paeons extolling the genius of the Beatles. They are credited for everything from raising the consciousness of a generation, to furthering World Peace, to ending the Cold War. But I don't see anyone giving them Fab Four credit for ending the Drug War. In fact, I suspect the Beatles ultimate legacy will be as the greatest populizers and romanticizers of drug use for an entire generation of kids, as well as the next several genertions of cripples that followed them. So I say: Fukk them.