You believe a good tape job will fix anything
You have the bladder capacity of five people
Your idea of a good time is a full arrest at shift change (oh wait, that's only if you're newbie)
You disbelieve 90% of what you are told and 75% of what you see
You have you weekends off planned for a year in advance
You discovered a new condition that you call "hypo-xanax-emia"
You say to yourself "great veins" when looking at complete strangers
You have ever referred to someone's death as a "Celestial Transfer" or a transfer to the "Eternal Care Unit"
You have ever answered a "lost condom" call
You have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled "Suicide... Doing it right"
You believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis
You have ever had to leave a patients's room before you begin to laugh uncontrollably
Your favorite hallucinogen is exhaustion
You think that caffeine should be available in IV form
You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience
Your most common assessment question is "What changed tonight to make it an emergency after 6 (hours, days, weeks, months, years)?
And finally, you might be an EMS professional if you find any of this funny!!!
